About Anita ChaperonOK – we’ve all heard the old adage “Work hard – play hard”.
But what does it mean to you? And do you really know how to?
Imagine if you could get a lot more done at work, a lot better. Imagine if you could really relax every single day. The kind of relaxation that leaves you rearing to go to work the next day. Your ‘batteries’ fully charged. Your brain fully focused…
I recently finished my second reading of one of the best books ever written (IMHO) The Power of Full Engagement (by Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz). The book is amazing in many aspects (beyond the scope of the discussion here). But the most memorable lesson of all, is that we need to fully engage in work and fully engage in play to get the most out of our focus and our lives.
If you’re able to do that naturally – then perhaps you’re naturally gifted – lucky you. If you’ve made a special intuitive effort to work and play hard – clever you.
Or, if you’re like most of us, you’re probably thinking that you’re pretty good at both, but if you look closely you may find you’re not.
Let me explain what I mean with a brief example…
Have you ever been in a similar situation?
You’ve worked hard for the whole day. But really – you’ve got a million things done. It’s 9 pm now, and you can’t even think straight anymore.
You sit down in front of the telly and you find your favorite program of all time is on. Your conscious/thinking brain steps in and wisely advises you that you’re fully deserving of this ‘couch potato’ moment – you’ve worked your socks off today. So you listen and you start watching…
Then exactly 5 minutes into the program a niggly feeling starts eating at you. Something doesn’t quite feel relaxing.
And sure enough in the commercial break, you whip out your iPhone/Blackberry/laptop/(insert favorite techie device) and you start ‘doing’… just checking email. Or checking website stats. Or catching up on the latest industry research so you’re up to date in the morning…
Does that sound like anything you’ve experienced before? Anything you experience nightly?
“What’s the problem with that?” you may ask.
The problem is that you never fully disengage from work.
As a result you’re living in the ‘grey zone’. The ‘grey zone’ you’d guess correctly, is the zone between black and white. Or the zone between engaged and disengaged.
When you’re in the ‘grey zone’ you’re NOT focused. You’re multi-tasking – which btw is one of the least productive MOs. As a result the ‘fruits’ of your work are not optimal. And you’d be right to conclude that the same goes for the ‘fruits’ of your play.
You end up neither fully rested, nor fully satisfied with your day’s work.
You end up going to bed and feeling like this work thing is never-ending. And this play thing never started (even though you spent a good hour in front of the telly “relaxing”).
Now can you see the problem?
What’s the solution?
The solutions is simple in words. Much harder to implement. And incredibly rewarding when implemented.
In short – here are the 3 steps to follow to be able to work hard, play hard, and get real results:
Step 1: Prepare Yourself
– prepare a solution for when you catch yourself in the ‘grey zone’.
– make it something memorable and brief.
– give it a name – that way your brain has easy access to the solution – fast.
Step 2: Become Aware
– you can’t even begin to fix something, if you don’t know it’s happening right? Like with all addictions, the first step to getting help is to acknowledge you need the help…
– so watch yourself. Every time you rest – check if you really are. Every time you work – do the same.
Step 3: Take Action
– this one is very logical – if you notice the problem – take action to correct it.
– what may not be so obvious is that for this Action Plan to work in the long term, you MUST ACT RIGHT AWAY. Yes – not in two minutes time, but immediately!
The reason for the urgency is that if you don’t act with your “Step 1″ solution as you become aware of your behavior, you give your conscious brain time to start analyzing and rationalizing the situation. This negates the effect of your solution – makes things too complicated. And the aim here is to create an automatic/mechanical link (i.e. habit) for you between the behavior and the solution.
So next time you find yourself not fully engaged in your rest, your brain automatically applies the solution you came up with in Step 1.
Here’s an example:
As soon as you notice that you’re not fully engaged in either work or rest, name the behavior – “grey alert” (don’t laugh that’s what I name my ‘grey’ episodes ;o)). Then make a commitment that each time you say “grey alert” you’ll consciously make sure all distractions are cleared.
So if you’re resting and you find yourself thinking “what productive thing can I do whilst I’m sitting here resting?”, you stop thinking of that, and make a focused effort to relax. If it is an idea that you don’t want to forget, go write it down for tomorrow, but then come back and focus on the rest at hand… That’s it!
All that’s left now is to DO. It will take you a few times before you start to do this automatically, but trust me when you do – you’ll see how great it is.
So now that I’ve done all the talking here are my 2 questions again:
What does “work hard – play hard” mean to you? And do you really know how to?
If you don’t, now you have the solution.
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Hi Anita. Welcome to CYT and the ever growing list of special guest posts here.
Your article was timely in more ways than one
I often find myself doing something with the kids and then suddenly remembering something I was meant to do for work. It’s hard pulling it back but like you say, recognising it to begin with is a good start. Also my sons know when I am thinking about work as they can see this glazed look in my eyes, so they are always a good reminder
Thanks again Anita.
Hi Anita
Very interesting post. I have noticed this “grey zone” area. I work from home so it is pretty easy to be on call all the time.
For me it is a two way street. When I am working and my mind wanders I walk away and do something else. I come back perhaps 30 minutes later and I can produce good work.
I find that often TV is not the best way to relax, for me anyway. I have found that I like to be creative so can have fun chill out time making something.
Another good tactic that works is – when you are chilling and you think of something write it down and review again when you are next working. It gets it out of your head and puts it somewhere safe and you know you can deal with it then.
Marion Anderson recently posted..How to Create a Perfect Day
I like both your tactics, Marion. I also work from home and it is really hard to switch off both ways because work is right there within reach, but it’s just as easy to chill too much…
In the Power of Full Engagement – one of the main concepts is to find and understand your own rhythm of productiveness. And then adapt your working schedule around that to achieve the best results. Part of re-focusing is what you mention works for you – to take frequent breaks doing completely non-work related activities.
Great tips – thank you.
Hi Steven – thank you for the warm welcome.
I have tremendous respect for kids. In my opinion they are the purest of human beings, and they are like a barometer for grown ups. So I have no doubt they know when you’re not 100% with them – haha. Maybe they can be your little trigger for awareness and switching off
My favorite book is “The Little Prince” because it shows how good and happy each person can really be.
Hi Anita,
Thank you for highlighting the importance of “play.”
Many ambitious individuals see play and recreational activities as distractions from their goals, setbacks, or even weaknesses.
I used to feel guilty for sleeping more than 5 hours because it meant that I wasn’t dedicated enough. The guilt (not to mention lack of sleep!) didn’t serve me well, and I’m glad I discovered the importance of fun and relaxation!
I now see fun as a crucial area in our lives, equal to work (and even spirituality!) in our lives. That’s because our needs – all our needs – deserve our care and attention.
In the “Personal Growth Map” I identify 7 life areas: Spiritual, Intellectual, Psychological, Social, Professional, Recreational, and Physical. All are essential for life balance, healthy living, and holistic growth.
I loved your touch of humor in the post. It made it useful AND fun to read!
Haider recently posted..The 3 R’s Of Personal Growth Manifesto Needs Your Vote!
You make a good point, Haider – so many people feel guilty about resting effectively, and that’s a big part of why we end up in the “grey zone”. Yet we now know that sleep (as the most obvious form of rest) is the most important period of our day – all the physiological repairs to our body is done then.
Ironically also – the better we play – the more effective we are at work…
Thank you for your feedback.
I personally put away all my work-related electronic devices when I’m not working and I’m currently resting. This helps me a lot in focusing on getting mental and physical relaxation.
Julius recently posted..An Invitation to Subscribe to the Even Grounds Web Accessibility Channel in YouTube
Julius – that is one of the most effective things you can do – if your “grey zone” vice is the electronic equipment. As they say “Out of sight…”
But it still takes discipline to do it consistently. Isn’t it funny that we have to have discipline to give ourselves a break!!
Ah… rest.
One of my favorite Jim Rohn sayings is:
“Make rest a necessity, not an objective. Only rest long enough to gather strength.”
Great post, Anita.
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Thanks Jered
I like that saying too. It works with pretty much any new habit you want to institute in your life. Especially if you’d like to make exercise part of your every day.
Rest is very important for our productiveness. I constantly try to have a regular rest after work, especially at weekends. I don’t even check my email and blog during these days.
Thanks for this helpful and interesting post, Anita! I’ve enjoyed it!
# “If you’re able to do that naturally – then perhaps you’re naturally gifted – lucky you”
I believe no one can do that genuinely. The average time for intellectual concentration is around 7 minutes and the top doesn’t get above 11. This means that, when you read a book, every 7-11 minutes or less you get to think of something else, even if you’re not fully aware of it. And I agree entirely that being focused on one item at a time and rest can boost productiveness.
Lloyd Burrell
Publisher
Office Desk Reviews
Hi Anita,
Nice post (and another book for my Amazon wishlist….)
I used to be terrible at this, my solution was to actually mark times in my diary for relaxation. Sounds silly but it worked (although I still have my to do list there incase something pops into my head). I think you also have to make sure your relaxation is something enjoyable so you are more able to focus on it.
Kate recently posted..Lacking motivation
Hi Anita,
What an interesting and original article. I get very passionate about my writing which is a blessing and a curse. One thing I believe in is rewarding small victories along the way. This is usually a nice sushi dinner with good friends. To rest at the end of the day many people are surprised to hear that I love a good comedy sitcom (even then I am constantly asking myself “how can I relate this to my book or my blog”). Playing with my Yorkie, Sophie, is the best way for me to totally unplug.
In general, it’s hard for me to transition fully from one mode to the next. Say, from working to writing. Or from relaxing to working. I really want to be “in the moment” no matter what I’m doing.
Tim D
http://www.momentary.org – free mobile gratitude journal
win a free copy of The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin!
Thank you all for the feedback – it’s so interesting to see the different ways we all deal with the work/play balance.
@Roman – yes rest is very important. It took me years of working from home before I totally allowed myself to rest guilt free.
You’re very good to be able to unplug the entire week end. I can only do one of the days, but it is a full day – which does the job of recharging me enough, so by Monday I can’t wait to get behind the computer again
@Lloyd – how interesting – I wasn’t aware of the stats. Do you know if there’s any research that compares the normal patterns to let’s say someone who’s practiced meditation a lot?
Meditation is said to improve our mind’s ability to focus on one thing at a time, so it would be interesting to see if it has the focusing effect on our subconscious too…
@Kate – marking your breaks in your diary is not silly at all. I have my morning routine (or ritual as Eben Pagan calls it) scheduled as ‘to do’ tasks. Sometimes it’s the only way to make sure I stick to my ritual – as the day whisks me into its course
A tool you may find useful to help with productivity (if you don’t already know it) is BaseCamp (by 37Signals). It’s a very intuitive and simple to use tool for tracking tasks, milestones etc. Great for tracking time spent on tasks…
With regards to the rest activity – yes it should be enjoyable or it wouldn’t be restful as you say. But more importantly it has to be something non-work-related – or it’s not really a rest either.
@Rob – ha! I love a good comedy sitcom too
It’s the best way for me to let go.
I guess as a writer you’ll always have the ‘problem’ of relating things back to your trade – it would be very hard to escape. The way I see it – writing is an art – art is fun – so you’re technically having fun/rest even when thinking about work…
I think the way for you to disconnect completely would be through a more physical activity – as you’ve already discovered when you play with Yorkie & Sophie.
@Tim – I think that’s one of the most productive ways to be – “in the moment” – it’s the best way to be fully engaged
Anita -
That grey zone is so darn sneaky. I see it a lot when I’m cruising the internet, responding to blog posts and watching tv all at the same time. It’s a lack of focus on whatever I’m doing which means that nothing is done well. I like your suggestions for beating the grey zone. For me, recognition is key – once we can spot it and name it, we can beat it. After that it is learning to be in the moment and enjoy that – I find meditation, contemplation and a lot of practice help here.
Great post – thank you,
Phil
Phil – Less Ordinary Living recently posted..What’s it like to set up your own business
I’m glad you liked my post Phil. The ‘grey zone’ is focus enemy #1 (dramatic), and yes awareness helps. I like your avatar name – “Less Ordinary Living” – very inspiring.
This is really important to consider. There has to be time self-nurture and reinvigorate. It can be hard to totally relax with a type A personality, though I have found that spending time with friends and family is crucial to relaxing and destressing. Thanks!
I agree Joe. A good way to ensure total disconection is to go visit a friend for 1-2 days and not take laptops or any “catch-up” devices with.
Thank you for mentioning ‘self-nurture’ – the terms says it all. It is such an important part of fulfillment and focus, yet so many people I speak to feel that it’s wrong…
Work hard, play hard! I like it. Tough part is too disengage, like you stated Anita. We’ve been self-employed for all of our married lives (23) and have learned to turn the work clock “off” when it’s time to do so. Sometimes a vacation is necessary where there is no internet connection. That little detail certainly forces play, eh!
Colleen recently posted..New Tri Cities Washington Luxury Home Listings August 5 2010
Wow Colleen – that’s excellent – 23 years
) And it IS so much harder when both of you work from home. My husband and I also work from home and it took us a while to realize that like you say, the work clock has to be turned off at a specific time. Otherwise it’s so easy to never even spend time together… Thank you for your feedback.
The Power of Full Engagement sounds like a must read to me. I don’t think I have ever focused on “play.” I am the type of person that gets easily distracted. The very thought of putting as much effort into my “play” as my work is mentally relaxing. This post just made my day. How much do I owe you?
Frank recently posted..Follow the Signs
Haha – this one’s on me Frank
And yes the book is one of the top books in Business reading – definitely worth the time investment.
Hi Anita. This was a great read for me. I’m pretty good at working hard but when it comes to playing…not so much. I often find myself engaged in “working thoughts” during my down time, even if I don’t actually get up to start working. My new challenge is to give myself permission to have a little fun.
Nea | Self Improvement Saga recently posted..How to Let Your Guard Down
Hi Nea – most of us are in the same ‘boat’ as you. It was very hard for me to train myself to get out of the ‘grey zone’. But I know how important it is for my focus and productivity – so I stuck with it.
“My new challenge is to give myself permission to have a little fun.” – go for it – it’s a great feeling when you can totally enjoy the moment.
Hi Eddy – yes we sometimes need to work long hours to get the job done. But it is good to create consistent periods of total disconnection from work.
Laughter has always made me feel great – I love laughing – when appropriate of course
Thank you for your feedback.
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