Everyone has had a dream at one point in their lives. Do you remember yours? It might not be the same today as it was then, but I’m guessing you probably knew at some time or another what you wanted for yourself that would make you happy.
As time goes on, things change. Our lives become complicated and the dreams we once had appear to be just that, dreams (not real). That saddens me deeply. Life is too short to think of something we want for ourselves, that we are passionate about, is only a dream, meaning not a possibility.
I have found that it is hard enough holding onto my own dreams without “reality”, getting in the way, or someone or situation coming along to try and kill it. So, after quite a bit of thought and contemplation on what had been negging me out, I came up with a list. The list was quite long, but I found that most of the list was repeating itself.
Here are the 10 most common “dream killers” that I found, followed by some ideas on throwing them out the window.
Non-believers
We all know this one very well. “Whatever, you’ll never be able to do that. Come back to reality.” Sound familiar? Just because someone else can’t do something, they think you can’t do it either. Don’t let a non-believer keep you from chasing your dreams. In fact, your just better off not talking to them about it. Let’s face it, the only way to turn them into a “believer”, is to show them. Actions do speak louder than words.†
Negativity
This is by far my biggest pet peeve, because I too am guilty of it (a lot). Something negative will always surface (many, many times) on your journey. Don’t let something negative whether it be someone or an obstacle, stop you from moving forward. Try to use that negativity to your advantage.
I always find that when something negative comes along, I use it as fuel for my desire. I take it and aim to prove myself by focusing harder. Try and do the same. Negativity will always be there, might as well use it.
Laziness
The number 1 reason why I am writing this today instead of 5 years ago. Laziness comes in many forms. You lose your inspiration, you’re too tired, you procrastinate, lost motivation, put your dream on the back burner to focus on something that better suits your needs now, yadda, yadda, yadda.. It’s ok to take the occasional day off. Just don’t let laziness turn you into a sloth.
Look for ways to stay focused, driven, motivated, and inspired. I find my inspiration daily from other personal development sites, books, e-books, quotes, music, and deep thinking. Staying inspired is the best way to keep chasing your desires, without succumbing to couch-lock.
Fear
Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of failure. There are countless reasons caused by fear that stops us from pursuing our dreams and aspirations. One method that has helped me rid some of these fears, is to accept them as an obstacle. An obstacle that if I can pass, I will advance on my quest. Look at fear as a chance to take a giant leap forward towards your passions. Once you pass a fear, you gain a vast amount of courage that will take you to the next level, leaps and bounds faster.
Money
Money. I once believed that money was an unbeatable restraint to following my passion. I was wrong. It’s only an illusion. You don’t have to have much money to follow your dreams. You can start out with a small amount and still chase your passions. Just take a look at the “100 Dollar Startup“, by Chris Guillebeau. Many have started life of living on their own terms doing what they love for a small amount of cash. Don’t let money be an excuse to stop you, that’s what “they” want you to think. Who is “they”, I don’t know, others not on board with you.
Low Self-Esteem
Having a lowly image of yourself is not only a dream killer, but doesn’t even allow you have the dream to begin with. I have been there. You don’t feel good enough, you feel ugly, worried about what others think desperately searching for their approval. Guess what? You don’t need anyone’s approval. Who cared what others think.
More than likely you are in a situation you don’t need to be in. Whether it is a relationship that holds you down, or loneliness that causes you sadness and self torment. Change your routine and do it before it’s too late. Start to surround yourself with better people. Those that accept others for who they are and encourage you to be yourself. Read some good personal development books. Ones that actually give you hope and inspiration, not the ones that are only out to throw a gimmick at you. Most importantly, search inside yourself and find the inner voice that appreciates you for who you are. Bring the real you up the surface and stop worrying so much. You’re alright by me 
Bad Dreams
As much as we would all like our greatest dreams to become a reality, some of them are just better left to the imagination. If your dream is to become a Colombian Drug Lord (good luck), it’s probably a bad dream. On a more realistic note, if your dream is to become rich doing something that means nothing to anyone else, probably a bad dream.
I am not saying that you can’t follow any and every dream, you can. Although some may not be suited for the outcome you hoped for. Imagine the output of your dream. Break it down into pieces and think about how you could make an action plan to put it together and see the end result you envision. If some of the pieces don’t fit and are not related to who you are as a person, you probably are just fantasizing. I would say that a Drug Lord has very few worries when it comes to doing the right thing, or following along with the law. If you are a law abiding citizen, it’s not going to be for you. Now, that’s a far-fetched example, but the dreams that are bad, usually are.
Lack of a solid support system
Not having someone or even multiple people believe in what you wish to bring into your reality, it is hard to stay motivated and excited about it. Personally, my friends and family support me in whatever I do, as long as I don’t overwhelm them by talking about it too much. I find my inspiration and support from connecting with others online, trying to accomplish the same goals as me.
If you are in a similar situation, or worse yet, have the people that are supposed to be at your side and support you, trying their hardest to talk you out of your dream, you got issues. Not to say you should give up, you should never give up on something that you truly believe in, no matter what anyone says. I would try to find support from different people and try to sit down with those non-believers and explain to them that if they love and support you, they will understand and have your back. Unless of course they are right and your idea is a “bad dream”. Then maybe you should listen.
Over analyzing
Thinking too much about what you are doing when in pursuit of a dream will have you re-thinking it, changing it, re-thinking it, deleting it, re-writing it, and you get the point. I have a had a tremendous issue with over analyzing every situation in my life. When it came to having a dream that I thought I wanted to take action on, I would basically think myself out of it and move on to something else.
Of course you want to make sure you are taking action on a dream that you will fully devote yourself to, but to over analyze it to the point of exhaustion will only leave you stressed and changing your mind. During my time of over-thinking and analyzing my ideas, I could have reached far greater accomplishments if I had given my dream a chance. A funny experience (or painful), I had is when I had an initial dream of changing the world in someway through an online website, 2 years ago, is that it ended up being the one I went after in the end, or present day.†
It is all a learning experience nonetheless, but one that could take far less time, if you only analyze and not over do it. In other words, think and know but don’t think and not know…uh..yeah.
Underestimating
To underestimate what you are capable of, is to give up before you begin. Underestimating yourself and your capabilities is a dream killer for sure. A good way to remedy underestimating yourself is to stop thinking and start knowing, or just do it. You will only know the value of what you bring to the table if you take action.
Know who you are and understand that everyone in the world who has ever fulfilled their dreams are no different than you are, other than the fact that they took action and kept moving forward. You might not be the next Einstein, but with inspiration and motivation, along with taking action and never giving up, is a recipe for success.†
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Thanks Etieno,
Not trying to sound rude here, but those comments sound very familiar. Perhaps next time you would like to share your own unique thoughts.
Regards,
Justin
Justin recently posted..Living the Dream. How to Live an Epic Life
This is absolutely true Justin. What happens often times is that we get involved with jobs, people, groups outside of us and we lose our focus on our dreams. We get inundated with dreams of other people.
If both dreams are aligned then this is fine, but if they are not, the two dreams become infused with each other sometimes creating no clear path or destination.
Thanks for sharing!
Etieno Etuk recently posted..THERE IS ALWAYS A GOOD SIDE
I teach voice and accents for actors, so I’m constantly seeing people who are pursuing and/or abandoning their dreams of becoming a working actor. Often their biggest initial block is the need to be practical, not realizing that every choice has risk. At some point they also realize how much work this field is, and they decide it’s fun, but it’s not worth toiling for – and in that case it’s a good thing when they let it go! One thing our kids need is for us to follow our dreams – it’s much better to be a second-generation dream pursuer than a first. Growing up in a small town in Iowa, accents and acting were not on my radar. I’m grateful my mother supported my pursuit of my dreams – I wish she had done the same for herself. Of course, part of her dream became seeing her children succeed at some point…
Jim Johnson recently posted..Iowa Accents by Bike
So true i remember my dream when i was a kid is not the same of what i really want to be right now.
Justin, that is an absolutely awesome post. We probably all experiencing symptoms of each of them at different times in our life and for different reasons.
What we need to learn is to notice when these dream killers are holding us back, and then take action to ensure we stay on pursuit!
Love it
Brendan
Brendan Baker recently posted..27 Experts Share Their Thoughts on Starting Happiness In Their Own Lives
Thanks Brendan,
I like the way you think. Love the site by the way. Great design and topic. I do believe we share similar goals. Keep moving forward…
Cheers,
Justin
In my opinion the biggest killer of dreams is the fear of failure. Once there is an obstacle in our way, we tend to give up very easily. But once you are really passionate about something, there is nothing to stop you from reaching your dreams.
Anyway, great work! Thanks for sharing.
Petra recently posted..Top 7 Time Management Techniques
Justin: Wonderful job on the article my man! I can relate to each and every point you wrote. I learned through experience that it is a waste of time to tell non-belivers my dreams because they will only say negative things in reply. My parents are my biggest non-believer so I pretty much do not tell anyone my dreams except for my brother and bestfriend. I just try to take small steps each and every day, but do not get me wrong, I am working on increasing my pace.
Best Wishes,
William Veasley
William Veasley recently posted..Mission Impossible
As long as you keep taking small steps each and every day, you will make it man. Stay with it and never give up. There will be times when setbacks come along, think of them as important lessons to learn, so that you can adapt and overcome.
The journey is long and takes a ton of effort and hardwork, but I promise you, it’s worth it. Good luck!
Justin recently posted..An Individual Development Plan to Following Your Passion
Hi – I enjoyed this so much that I posted on Facebook and Twitter and pinned the image on Pinterest. It relates so well to my report on the 10 major goal stoppers and how to break free with EFT and Matrix Reimprinting. LOVE the pic!
Thanks for this blog this is exactly what I needed thank you soo much
Your list of ten is right on. I am starting a professional organizing business, raising a daughter by myself, and am just getting hooked into serving on the boards of two organizations in addition to being on a leadership council at my graduate school. I’m pulling in some success but not for the business so I’m getting mired in really great stuff but need to divvy up my time better.
I guess the thing I believe I need most is the support system, but I am going to have to just get it done without one to start.
Thanks for the kick-start.
Hey Sarah,
Glad I could help. I think it’s good to remember, that a lot of the time, we start finding our support system after we have started. We find it in those who are in similar situations as us, those who bring inspiration into our lives, and our friends and family seem to follow more when we have shown them some results. I wish you the best! Get going and keep moving forward!
Cheers,
Justin
Justin recently posted..An Individual Development Plan to Following Your Passion
it is great
What I’ve found is that motivation often is lacking because we tend to want what everyone else wants. What I mean is, are our dreams really OUR dreams or are they just a follow-the-leader things?
We conjure up visions of a life that society has painted for us and to get that life requires self-discipline, force, and angst. What if, instead, we really knew ourselves … like you mentioned in the last paragraph. Upon really discovering who and what we are, perhaps our goals would radically change and maybe, just maybe, success would come more naturally.
Something to think about!
Carmelo recently posted..Changing the World
Hi Carmelo,
I like the way you think. Let me tell you what I think. Dreams that come from looking within oneself are our dreams. “Follow the leader” goals are related to how we want to “fit in” to society. If my dream were to become rich, that’s just based on our society and what appeals to us, isn’t it?
If I have a dream to live a comfortable life and do what I am most passionate about, so that I can help others do the same, that is something from within and essentially, my own. Make sense?
Also, when people are educated about something, how many of those people will choose to question it, or look for a better way? Why is it that we just accept things (for the most part), for what they are?
There is so much more I have to say about this and will eventually. Thanks for your input.
Justin recently posted..An Individual Development Plan to Following Your Passion
Here’s a BIGGGG one: Getting distracted by all the busyness- the absolute enemy to extraordinary, magical living is hurrying around, like we’re on a hamster wheel! “Well, uh, I’ve gotta mow the lawn, and then I’ve gotta Skype my daughter, because she’s washing her socks tomorrow, and gosh I don’t have 3 more nickels, because if I just had 7 nickels I could finally do what I wanted and my parakeet has diarhea, and uhhh…”- all this stuff, and endless ways we find to get in our way, by diluting our focus and energy. We need to stop, unplug, get quiet, and start living a truly authentic life that’s in alignment with our deepest dreams…
Thanks for the addition Jim. You’re right. Our everyday lives, full of all the activities and things that need to get done, keep us very busy. We definitely need to stop and “smell the roses” once in awhile. It is too easy to get sucked in to everyday routines and become stressed with no end in sight.
You nailed it!
Jim said,”We need to stop, unplug, get quiet, and start living a truly authentic life that’s in alignment with our deepest dreams.”
But how do we do that? It starts with taking action.
thanks
Justin recently posted..An Individual Development Plan to Following Your Passion
So true Justin. I believe what happens to many of us is we get involved with people,jobs, groups outside of us and we lose our focus on our dreams. Many times in relationships for example, we get inundated with the dreams of our spouse.
This is fine if both dreams are aligned, but if they are not, the two dreams become infused with each other sometimes creating no clear path or destination.
Justin Mazza recently posted..Weird October – Send me your Guest Post about Paranormal Topics and Experiences
Hey Justin,
Thanks for the comment. Being in a relationship with 2 opposing dreams can pose a bit of a problem can’t it?
Love your “Weird October” idea. I have a paranormal type experience of my own. I will send my story over for sure. Thanks