About Steven AitchisonBefore we start
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Lets get started
Today is another gentle day, but another powerful one. When I have spoken to people about this in the past it’s always been a surprise to them to find out what their motivation direction is.
I’d like you to think about your motivation direction and what your primary direction is.
What is Motivation Direction?
You might have heard already that all motivation is either moving away from pain or moving toward pleasure. Most of us tend to have a dominant direction. This is a completely unconscious direction and many of us will never have thought about it before. However if we consciously think about it we can begin to strengthen our motivation, and that’s the aim of today’s exercise.
Your motivation direction is asking yourself if you are moving toward pleasure or moving away from pain. Think about the words you use when you are hoping to fulfil your outcomes in life.
For example if you want to stop smoking you might think to yourself; ‘I want to stop people nagging me about smoking’, ‘I don’t want to spend so much money on cigarettes’, ‘I don’t want to get cancer’.
You’ll notice all the above reasons for giving up have a ‘don’t want to’ about them. So the primary motivation is moving away pain: Moving away from the pain of getting cancer, moving away from people nagging, moving away from the pain of spending so much money.
Another person, who smokes and wants to give up, has a different reality from you might be thinking; ‘I want to be much healthier’, ‘I want to be able to climb that mountain I’ve always wanted to climb.’ ‘I want to fit in socially’.
All of the reasons above have a ‘want to’ statement in them. The primary motivation here is moving toward pleasure: Moving toward being healthy, moving toward climbing that mountain.
Toward Motivation
People who move toward what they want in life tend to look at the possibilities of the future, with little regard for the obstacles that could get in their way.
Away from Motivation
People who move away from what they don’t want in life are people who look at solving the problems in their life in order to make it easier for themselves and others.
Thinking about your own motivation
Download a copy of Motivation Direction worksheet
Think about 4 of your smaller outcomes for the next month e.g. To give up smoking, to go to the gym 3 times per week, to lose weight, to get another job.
Look at the words you use and determine if your motivation direction is moving away from pain, or moving toward pleasure. Once you have done this for all of your short term outcomes you should begin to build up a pattern of your motivation direction and what your primary direction is.
This becomes important when we go on to do the work on your outcomes which we will spend a lot of time on in day 5 of the course.
Increasing your motivation
You will notice that sometimes you are ‘away motivated’ and sometimes you are ‘toward motivated’. If you find yourself putting something off, or your ‘away from’ motivation is not particularly strong, you can use your imagination to make it stronger, completely change direction or use a combination of both directions to help you fulfil your outcomes.
For example:
I used to be a smoker, I told myself I enjoyed it and it didn’t matter what anybody said I was going to continue to smoke. Then due to the kids getting at me all the time and feeling their worry about me dying from smoking, I decided to give up. Well when you give up for someone else and not for yourself it can be a recipe for disaster. I was away from motivated: I wanted my children to stop worrying, and I wanted them to stop getting on at me (just some of the reasons to give up). I set a date in my head and made the move to stop smoking.
I realised that the images in my head weren’t particularly strong, I would imagine the boys nagging at me, but it was off in the distance, I imagined them worrying, but the image was very small and not very bright. So I blew the images up, made them close, made the sounds boom at me, I put myself right in the picture and sure enough my motivation would increase. I also decided to use a mixed approach, some ‘toward motivation’ images, such as me being healthy, playing around with my boys without feeling out of breath and really made the movie inside my head bright, colourful, up close, loud, and very vivid. I also used some ‘away motivation’ as I mentioned above.
So, knowing what your motivation direction can be important. Knowing how you are seeing the images and movies in your head is also very important. If the images in your head are small, in black and white, off into the distance, bring everything up very close, make it bright and colourful, make the sounds loud, and use as many of your senses as possible. Also think about your outcomes often whilst making them as vivid as possible.
Tomorrow
Tomorrow we will be looking at unearthing your core principles and adding some new ones as a way to live your life. Until tomorrow my fellow Mind Alchemists……..
Action follows a thought…
This course is about taking action, and to become pro active in changing your life. Take time to do this exercise and really think about it throughout the day. You don’t need to wait until tomorrow to take steps to improve your ‘Wheel of Life’, but with the support and encouragement from all the members we can help each other and support each other, but ultimately ‘you have to bring something to the table!’
Your thoughts
As always it’s good to talk about your experiences and share it with the rest of the members of the course, so let us know how this exercise went for you and if you gained any insights or had any revelations about yourself or your life.
You can share your thoughts at Mind Alchemy Facebook Group
You can Tweet using the hashtag #MindAlchemy
Or of course you can leave a comment below.
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This has blown my mind…I have set four things that I want to create in my life and gone through the whole procedure…it’s marvelous to know my motivation direction. What happened is as I contemplated I understood I am trying most of the time to be ‘away from pain’ scenarios that’s why I expanded my horizon in ‘what I don’t want.’ But after going through this exercise I have set all the ‘toward’ motivation direction and thus I will expand my horizon in ‘what I really want’ in my life. Thanks Steven. All green lights and lots of love:) God bless you always:)
Sayantan Sen recently posted..Love is the way-
That’s great Sayantan, It seems like you’ve had a major insight into yourself.
Thanks Steven. I never realized this two directions i.e. “away from motivation” and “towards motivation”. Really interesting. Look forward to going towards the motivation along with you.
Thanks for sharing the workbook. and waiting for the next lesson.
Jacob
Hey Jacob, glad you found this interesting. Thanks for the comment I appreciate it.
Hi Steven,
Thanks a lot. This is really great. I do speak on +ve thinking etc. However you have started me thinking on a totally different angle. This will really help me in my endeavour towards change in the right manner and also faster.
Thankls a million, once again.
Hi Nevil, glad this helped change your perspective a little.
Steven just before I start this (and I’m going to do it when my wife has gone off to work and not chattering in the background causing me to lose concentration!!!), I assuming that it doesn’t matter whether the motivation is “away from” or “toward”.
The little critical voice in my head is telling me what I should do. I’m trying to be aware that I can choose and that the process is evaluation, not trying to get it right first time (which would not be authentic).
I’d be interested in your thoughts, or anyone elses.
Marty
Marty recently posted..Will you take part in an experiment Im setting up
Hi Marty. It doesn’t matter if you are away from toward as they are both great motivators, but if you are moving toward you are injecting positive thoughts and positive images that are more motivating than looking than negative thoughts when you are moving away from something you don’t want.
Marty, I think the point is (if I understand your question correctly) is that Steve is trying to get us to recognise which way our thinking goes. At this point it doesn’t matter whether you are “away from” or “toward”. In the long term, however, I believe that it would be better if our motivation is expressed in the “toward” language. The “away from” language is basically saying not that you are trying to achieve something, rather that you are trying not to achieve something. For example, one of my goals is to decrease my dependency on chocolate to improve my health. Now that does sound like a “toward” goal, but actually it’s an away from – I don’t want to die of a heart attack or develop diabetes. In reality, the likelihood of me doing either of those things is pretty slim as I’ve been genetically pretty lucky in both of those areas. If I changed the motivation around improving my health to being because I want to have increased stamina and be able to run around with my daughter, it increases my motivation as it is something I can take control over now, instead of some fluffy pseudo-preventative measure for a distant future.
Sue recently posted..More weather based nastiness
Sue – Perfect answer! Thank you
I used to always try to avoid interacting with others. Whenever I was talking to others I was always looking for a way out, always worrying about getting talked into something. It was an unconscious orientation that I wasn’t aware of like a fish isn’t aware of water.
Since joining Toastmasters last September I have developed a more towards direction. I look forward to interacting with others. I know today that I can hold my own with pretty much anyone. It’s a great feeling to have. I feel my presence growing stronger every day. I am becoming confident and assured.
This post and excerise helped clarify that change in me. Thanks Steven
Hey Wayne, that’s a great example you have given here, thanks for sharing it.
Wayne,
I too have difficulty with a lot of social interactions. Mine is because I am afraid I am talking too much or about something no one is interested in. Can anyone join Toastmasters? Is there an age limit?
It sounds like you found an excellent way to work past it. I wish you continued success.
Thanks for your help!
Julie (Newbie)
Hi Julie, anyone can join toastmasters, there is no age limit on joining.
These two days of the course I’m seeing my self through the day being often introspective and contemplating…thinking of what and where my weakness are and about small measures that I can take. This is something that I avoid to experience most of the time. Being here for everything else but for me is starting to make me troubles and big imbalance. This is the time of my life where I feel so dispersed and disintegrate. Thanks, Steve, I really think that this course will help me to get back on the focus of me.
Hi Kristina. Hopefully you’ll be seeing the strength of seeing your weaknesses?
Steven, you have gone and peeled off one layer of my thinking. What you have pointed out made me also realize the interconnectedness between the direction of thinking (away motivated) and things like de-motivation, procrastination, fear etc. Away motivated has so much of negative energy in it, even though it’s a face of motivation.
Saikat, that’s it exactly – away from has more negative energy surrounding it whilst toward has a lot more positive energy.
@ Sue. Thanks. I kinda guessed that what it is about and have written my reaction on my blog today.
Marty recently posted..Will you take part in an experiment Im setting up
That is interesting; the goals or habits I want to introduce because I think I should are ‘away motivated’ and the others ‘towards motivated’ – I like being able to play and change the motivational direction.
Hi Natasha, glad you found this interesting.
That’s a powerful exercise, Steven. Shouting YES YES YES when we are still clinging to images of NO NO NO keeps us right where we are. The mind is very clever at finding ways to keep us from changing. The mind will suggest “Let’s pretend shouting YES over the NO’s will do the trick!” It just won’t work until we are motivated in the right direction.
rob white recently posted..Reality Check- Where is There a NO Sitting Firmly in Your Mind
hey Rob, that’s a perfect way to look at this. The mind always wants it’s own way and doesn’t really like change, which is why change often brings out fear in people. So glad you are here Rob, thanks for joining in.
This was a great exercise. Now if I could figure out why I can’t reach the financial goals I am motivated towards…or haven’t been able to in the past.
Hi Corinne, glad you enjoyed day 2
Hi Steven,
You are right. I am a big advocate for positive thinking and yet I find myself saying as I go to my gym, “I don’t want to be overweight”. And as I save my money, “I don’t want to be broke”. And even as I take a walk on a Sunday afternoon, “I don’t want to be slovenly all day.” Thanks to your reminder I’ll say, “I want to be healthy and financialy secure” and “I want to get out and enjoy the sunshine on this pretty Sunday”. I can really see how this will strengthen my motivation! Thanks Steven!
Dandy recently posted..The tragedy of self-deception and the gift of honesty
Hi Dandy, it’s great see readers ‘getting it’, and it sounds as if this will be a big change in thinking for you. Thanks for sharing Dandy, I really appreciate it.
This is one point I have been aware of for many years. I do prefer towork TOWARDS a goal. I believe that a pull is stronger and more efective than a push. (Push away) However, it seems that somewhere after a great, strong pull forward I end up pushing. Still headed in the same direction but moving a lot slower and using more effort.
Hi Laura, often times when we are at the finishing line our mind ask the question ‘do I really want this outcome’ and it finds ways of delaying. This is the time to make the images in your mind stronger, more vivid, louder, and keep moving toward, it’s like you ahve to remind yourself of why you want the outcome.
Thanks for brining up a really interesting point.
Day 2 – Finished. This was a great exercise. I am looking forward for DAY 3. Really interesting to know about “Motivation away from pain and towards pleasure.” This got me thinking. I have finished written down my 4 outcomes. Steven, thanks again for everything.
Hi Engilbert, so glad you are enjoying the course.
What an inspiring course Steven. Just as we strengthen our physical body (if we are wise) so too we need to strengthen our minds and I’m so impressed with what you offer here. Every good wish from your friend Christopher.
Christopher Foster recently posted..In troubled times remember balance
Hey Christopher, thank you my friend, couldn’t have done this without the support of you and a lot of other friends over the years.
It seems some people are publishing their results on their blog. I didn’t do that on mine, but thought I would here with something interesting at the end.
1. Outcome: To get funding to attend a residential coaching course.
Why: It will give me the opportunity to do something I really want to do and will increase my confidence whilst also helping me to increase my income.
Direction: Toward
2. Outcome: To reduce my burden of debt
Why: To stop me getting into further debt and to stop it adversely worrying me.
Direction: Away from
3. Outcome: To have booked up at least 6 gigs for the band for the future running into the year whilst also generating more followers of the band, increasing the bands success.
Why: It will help to reduce debt & increase personal income and will be personally satisfying because I’ll be following a dream
Direction: Toward
4. Outcome: To start my fitness programme again by going running on a regular basis.
Why: It will increase my physical and mental fitness and help me to feel better about myself having achieved something.
Direction: Toward.
On number 4, this actually happened today. I went for my first this year today. 3 mile jog. I feel great and intend to blog about it tomorrow. Writing it down helped make it happen.
Marty recently posted..Will you take part in an experiment Im setting up
Brilliant Marty, huge thank you for sharing this and congratulations on the 3 mile jog
Hi everyone…don’t know if it’s too late to post on comment for day two, but I found the directional motivation very thought provoking. I realized that even though it might not be “bad” to move away from pain or to be moving “away from” in your motivational direction. But for me, when I began to really ponder that idea or thought, I realized it’s kind of like walking backwards down the road of my life, when I’m walking “away from” in my motivational direction. Like I am focusing on what’s behind me that I’m trying to get away from , instead of turning around and walk towards the things that I want. ‘
I’d like to learn to turn around more and face my life forwards and by moving towards the things I want I will leave the things I don’t want in the dust of lifewalk. Does that make any sense? Anyways, looking forward to next couple of weeks!
Hi Kristi, great thoughts on todays exercise, I liked your analogy of walking backwards and yes it totally makes sense
I’m also a bit late responding, although I did do the exercise yesterday. I just wasn’t completely sure of what my last two goals would be, since I had already started on some goals last month. But I talked to some people, and they said to include it and not overwhelm myself. My first two goals are finding a new job, since I gave that a 2 on the Wheel of Life, and getting in shape (I had joined a gym last month but had not gone often enough). They both had “toward” and “away” motivations attached. My last two goals are to become more creative and learn to play guitar better, and learn to digital paint or use Photoshop. These are more positive goals that I’ve always wanted to achieve. Thanks for the insight Steven.
Hope you’re getting on with working on your outcomes Angel, be great to see where you are with them in a few months time.
I choose four goals that are long term goals rather than something to do within this month as cannot think of four specific tasks I want to complete in this month but can definately make a start on some of them this month, there all goals that relate to the weaker areas of the wheel of life.
I found that there where mainly a towards motivation directly, however you can easily see both towards and away motivational reasons behind each outcome.
I find it quite hard to make the goals specific and break them down into smaller chunks but hopefully this is something I can think about and work on.
Although there is alot of towards motivational direction and my reasons are mainly positive, there still seems like alot of resistance, which is possibly down to fear or unlimiting beliefs.
Hi Natalie, sounds like you’ve had a great insight into how your mind works.
This exercise was a little tough for me as I realized how negative I am and definitely am wired with away from in my motivations. I want to “re wire” so that my motivations are more towards my goals in a positive insight rather that a negative feeling that I am running from those pains and discontents. When you have been faced with negative after negative after negative, how do you truly dig out of that “expect the worse” mentality. I am on my own nerves with not having that positive perception anymore in really anything, which is what prompted me to take this course.
Hi Johnna. To change from a totally negative perspective to a positive one will take time. Just take it a little at a time and introduce more ouitcome focussed thoughts each day, they will feel alien at first, but after a few weeks they will become more natural and you’ll start to see life changing.
Hi Steve can i add something for Johannas situation ( yes i am not expert
)
i want to add as i think it might help her and other readers too …
say some one have a financial goal (having a lot of saving ) with toward motivations ( like…, i will travel , do shopping, do lot other staff whatever i like and so on).
it will be hard… for a blue person .. if he or she say or think or picture himself or herself rich or having big saving with whatever motivation he or she have .. as whenever he or she will try to think or picture himself or herself rich ….. his or her mind will not think it believable at all. as his or her mind will constantly whisper … his or her goal is bogus or unbelievable, not possible at all.
instead of that .. he or she can do lot of as if ….
for example , he or she can think ……. if he or she were rich or had lot of saving …. what will he or she will do … will go for traveling, go for shopping and so on whatever this person like…
it will work , as his or her mind will not constantly whisper … his or her goal is bogus or unbelievable .
Hi Steve,
I did the exercise without looking at my Wheel of Life and was surprised to see that I took me a while to think of four outcomes for this month. I thought there were loads of things I wanted to change in my life but could only think of two of them straight off.
What I realised is that yes there are quite a few situations in my life that I would like to improve but nothing much is happening in those areas because I spend equal or even more time thinking about what I don’t want than what I do want.
You have definitely given me some food for thought in this area.
I am also going to experiment with making the towards images more brighter .
etc in my mind as you suggested.
oh…when I did the exercise, two outcomes were directed away from and the other two were in the towards direction.
Jackie recently posted..More Sensitive Matters
Hi jackie, i am glad this exercise helped you see things from another perspective and hope it helped in some way.
I’m finding this interesting too in that I’m coming from a paradigm of what I don’t have and lack, not what is possible. This is a real wake-up call for me to start thinking more positive and positive reasons for the things that I do, not just to react to things but to think proactively why I do things and see if I can find more positive reasons for doing them. I think this is a paradigm that a lot of people have, so I know it’s not just me who are trapped in self-sabotaging behaviors and thoughts. Why they procrastinate and stay in the same situation year in and year out and why nothing ever changes. Because they don’t change the way they think and perceive things. They just get upset that things are bad, but not looking at why because it’s new or because they are afraid of success or who they can become or it’s just easier and more painless to not look too closely. But in the long run, they get more of the same because of the Law of Attraction that attracts more of the same situation, because maybe the Universe is trying to get us to see in new ways, more positive ways, and not be afraid all the time about everything. I noticed I’m worried about control with my husband, but if our perceptions don’t change, we are never in control. It’s a runaway train and we’re not going to have complete control and we need to learn to deal with that. Thanks Steven!
You’re right Katherine, a lot of us are locked into the negative as it is all we seem to hear, it can be tough to get away from it. introducing positive, more outcome focused thoughts a little each day will help you turn this around. i am glad you found this interesting.
I’m really having a hard time thinking about the things I need to do to improve about myself. It’s not that there is no room for improvement but I’m overwhelmed by the truth that I am such a chaotic person and my motivation has always been wavering from time to time. But what I really learned from this was that I haven’t thought about what I want in my life. I mean, I’m graduating this March but I’m still easy-going and have no definite plans yet though I have my dreams with me. Anyways, I do think this exercise enlightened me on what I really want to do with my life. It’s going to be tough but I believe I can get by with the right direction. Thanks for making me realize these things.
Anne Clyne recently posted..Inside Scoop
Hi Anne, if you feel overwhelmed just take one outcome and focus on that and start moving toward it each day. small steps will get you there, however the small steps will lead to ginat strides the more you do this.
I’m behind and playing catch up, but what I find problematic is that there are so many things I wish to improve that it just all seems kind of overwhelming and unfocused.
Hi MK. One thing at a time, we don’t need to change everything at once. Once you’re focused on one outcome and have success with it it will spur you on to look at more outcomes in life, it just keeps on building and soon you won’t feel overwhelmed by it all, but take it slow to start with.
Hi Steve,
A very interesting – and revealing concept. I find I use both a lot yet over the years I’ve trained myself more into the moving toward, positive statement of what I want and why.
That feels pretty good. Yet, it seems to me it’s more when I’m slipping back into old patterns that I tend to use words that are indicative I’m moving away from pain.
A great reminder. Thanks!
Lauren
Lauren recently posted..The Day I Was Mean To My Dog Bacchus
Glad this helped you in some way Lauren, i appreciate your comemnts here.
I think I am a toward person but I use both toward and away motivation. But one thing I do notice is that if someone tells me I can’t do something or they just give me this attitude of, “Yeah, right. You will never do it.” That makes me really determined and mad. It gives me a lot of energy and then I just want to do something to prove to myself and them that they are dead wrong and I CAN do it. I want to be 18.5% body fat but I have a very long way to even get there. In my head I see me at that body fat percentage and looking great. I think of how I will be healthy and able to move and wear cool clothes and really express who I really am. When I am old, I want to have a good quality of life. That’s all toward. But, I think some of it is away from since I have seen old people and they fall and some have bad quality of life and suffer and I DO NOT want that at all. But despite all that..the one thing that motivates me is to prove to myself or someone else I can do it. If there is a contest, I like to try to win. I set goals all the time for myself to try to beat. I think that is toward motivation. Is it toward motivation when you want to beat yourself or prove to someone they are wrong or just prove to yourself you can do something? And, also eventhough I have this motivation, why is it I still procrastinate? Also, if something is fun or convenient I am more likely to do it. So, I hate morning exercise but if the bike is in front of the computer and I can watch my fav show, I will get up and exercise. Is that toward motivation?
Hi Enjo, you are using toward strategies here, but proving to someone else that you can do it is really an away from motivation as you are really moving away from giving them the satisfaction of being right. It is much better to do this ALL for yourself, but at the end you can have the smile of satisfaction of proving someone wrong, but don’t focus on that.
In the addiction field if someone is trying to stop drugs or alcohol for someone else it almost always fails. the person has got to really want it for themselves and focus on the benefits to themselves. hope that makes sense
I’ve been thinking about this for months, actually. Much of my motivation attempts to focus on moving away from fears. But I know that doesn’t work. Fear is really only good for short term motivation.
I read a post by Riva Greenberg this morning on the Huffington Post that I wanted to share here.
“Many healthcare providers unknowingly try to motivate diabetes patients to manage their condition through fear — specifically, fear of diabetes complications, which indeed are scary. But fear motivates behavior temporarily — you jump to protect yourself from harm. Fear does not motivate sustainable behavior change because you do not want to stay focused on your fears.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/riva-greenberg/be-your-own-valentine_b_819626.html
You jump to protect yourself from harm.
Fear motivates behavior temporarily.
Fear does not motivate sustainable behavior change because you do not want to stay focused on your fears.
Exactly. But even when I rephrase my goals to be moving toward something positive, I think the fear is what really remains in my head. I don’t know how to make that shift.
Nancy recently posted..a question of balance
I have downloaded the pdf worksheet, it seems all my four outcomes are from towards motivation. Very excited with the project.
Soham recently posted..The Truth About Noni Juice and Its Benefits
This sounds great, I would like to join
I think I’m an away from kind of guy, I tend to procrastinate until the consequences become too bad. But I don’t want to be, because of the negative connotation; I don’t want to think of myself like that. So I try to be towards but it doesn’t work. I lose focus.
Is there information on how to use away from in a more positive way? Sometime we have to use a stick because we can’t see the carrot.
Very Interesting to look at the motivation to change. I feel that I have both motivation to move toward what I want and away from what no longer serves my life. Thanks for this course! Great information and “motivation” for focusing on my goals.