We all deal with petty annoyances – little insignificant things which can really irritate us if we allow them to. We don’t have to allow them to irritate us at all, we can get ourselves to the point where they don’t bother us at all!
Do you ever wake up in the morning and everything annoys you?
You trip over a toy – those darn kids! Someone left a light on all night – oh, that electricity bill! The toilet paper didn’t get replaced – oh, the inconvenience!
But it doesn’t end there, you are fixing your hair and suddenly remember something that a friend said last week and you start grumbling about your friend. Then you are reminded of what your spouse said to you the night before and you gripe to yourself about how inconvenient it is to live with him or her.
Then you leave the bathroom and what a mood you are in! You couldn’t find the good around you if you tried, your mind is set completely on the negative because you allowed those petty annoyances to get the best of you.
Because of this mindset you will notice and zoom your focus on the negative, no matter how petty and minor they are.
The good news is that even if you have allowed yourself to get to this point you can still turn your day around.
You can choose to get rid of the petty annoyances.
No, you won’t be able to literally rid yourself of little insignificant annoyances but what you can do is change your mindset so that those little things that are bugging you won’t bug you any longer.
There are several steps that you can take to remove yourself from the frame of mind that you are in and they are very effective.
The first and most critical step to take is to…
Dig through your emotions
Most of the time that you find yourself irritated by little things that you would normally overlook you will find that there is some underlying issue that you are not dealing with that is trying to demand your attention. The reason that you are getting annoyed so easily over petty things is because you are avoiding an issue that is bigger and more pressing.
A popular example of this is the old example of the man who comes home and kicks the dog because he’s mad at his boss. He’s not really mad enough at the dog to kick him but he takes it out on the dog because he’s not dealing with the boss. That’s why you fume over the empty roll of toilet paper instead of just replacing it without griping.
It may take some real digging to figure out what is at the root of your irritations or it could be easy, depending on how long you have been ignoring the issue.
I had been getting irritated over petty things the last few days and I knew that it wasn’t about the little things. It didn’t take much digging because I knew what issue I wasn’t dealing with, I had a very dear online friend pass away last week. I wrote about it on my blog last week which helped me to deal with it a little bit, but obviously much more “work” on my part is required to fully deal with the loss.
Though it will take time to work through the loss, the fact of acknowledging what my issue was enough for me to stop getting annoyed at all of the little petty things going on around me. I was able to ignore them as I usually do.
There are many issues which we can easily push aside and ignore, causing us to start reacting to petty annoyances. Looking through the following list can help you identify something that you need to dig through to find out what is really bothering you.
- Conflict with a friend, relative, co-worker or neighbor
- Marital tension
- Issues with your kids
- An illness or impending surgery or procedure
- Possible lay off from work
- Home repair issue or fear of losing your home
- Rising cost of living
- An issue from your past
- Political issue
Clearly the list could go on and on because there are as many problems as there are people to have problems. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to find a way to deal with your problems instead of taking your frustrations out on things that really don’t matter.
Have you ever spent time with someone who obviously has underlying issues but blows up over every little annoyance? It really is no fun to be around those people and certainly you don’t want be one of those people.
Dig through your emotions and deal with the underlying issues. It may take awhile, you may need to talk to someone, you may need to journal, meditate, pray, etc. But you will be much better equipped to deal with life’s minor annoyances if you aren’t ignoring bigger issues.
Change your focus
If you still discover that you are still struggling with petty annoyances even after you have found your underlying issue you can change your focus. Changing your focus will be easier than dealing with an underlying issue so this can be helpful while you are working through your underlying issue.
You can change your focus using different methods. One way is to simply recognize your negativity and choose to stop thinking about it and instead fill your mind with positive thoughts.
For example if you are really feeling irritated that someone left a wet towel on the floor and you can’t let go of the annoyance you can talk yourself out of it. You can say, “No harm, it’s just a towel. Instead I am going to focus on the compliment that my supervisor gave me yesterday. I really felt great when he said…” If your mind continues to go to the negativity persist just as hard to think about good things in your life.
Another great way to change your focus is to use affirmations, I used them this morning and they were extremely helpful in my battle with the petty annoyances. You simply repeat them again and again to move your focus. Some affirmations that are helpful in times like this are:
- Happiness is my choice.
- I release all negativity, fear and stress.
- Anger flies away from me like an eagle into the mountains.
- Love, joy and peace make their home in heart.
- Today I am focused and successful.
Takeaway If you find yourself getting sucked into petty annoyances you need to dig deeper to find out what the underlying problem is and then refocus your thoughts by thinking about the positives in your life or by using affirmations.
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It’s hard not to get annoyed when all you see are bad. But that kind of mood doesn’t help. It will make you stressed out.
Hi Doug,
Yes, our focus makes a huge difference. If we stay focused on the negative that is where our emotions will remain. There is good and bad all around us and where we look makes all the difference!
Take care,
Stacy
Hi Stacy,
I personally have dealt with this problem throughout my life and I only started to see improvement after I admitted to myself that there was an underlying cause for my anger towards stupid little things.
I have dealt with many things in my 31 years on this earth and have overcome them, because I knew what the underlying cause was. Until you can admit your faults to yourself, you will not overcome them.
Take a long hard look at your life and figure out what it is that is causing you to get annoyed and do something about it.
Thanks for sharing Stacy and have a great day!
Ian Belanger recently posted..YES How To Get More of Them By Using Just One Word
Hi Ian,
You make a great point about how critical it is for us to be able to admit our own faults. Without being able to do that we will hinder our growth.
Thanks for sharing!
Stacy
Hi Stacy,
Nice post. And yes I have mornings like this sometimes!
I think there are a couple of options. One is the option you suggest, which is what I call reframing – or countering negative emotional thoughts with positive logical ones. This works fine in the moment, but is draining to keep up over the long term.
Another is practicing radical acceptance. Instead of fighting our experiences, we accept them unconditionally and without judgment. The power(and paradox) of acceptance is that by accepting our experiences, we gain control over them and empower ourselves to change them. With acceptance we enable ourselves to respond consciously to our challenges, instead of react emotionally. This takes time to master, and its questionable if anybody can ever truly master radical acceptance. But even developing rudimentary skill in acceptance can make a world of difference in our lives.
Thanks for the insights!
Chris
Chris Akins recently posted..What is integrity
Hi Chris,
I too have used that method and find it very helpful, although I have found that for me it doesn’t work when I’m annoyed and there is a different issue. Perhaps I need to work on growing in my use of this method.
Thank you for sharing!
Stacy
wow, such a thought provoking article, Stacey. (Funny photo too
) You pointed out the core problem that leads to all the petty annoyances and hey, it’s so true. I often get impatient on the road and grumbled all the drivers who take their own sweet time driving. Actually it’s usually due to my work stress. Thanks for the reminder~
Hi Noel,
I too find that when I am annoyed in traffic it’s almost always due to another reason! Usually I just go with the flow
Stacy
Hi Stacy,
The same thing happens to me in certain circumstances. Fortunately, it goes away. Maybe ager is like stinging nettles, don’t scratch and it goes away.
Lou Barba
Lou Barba@informationhighwaycardandgiftshop.com recently posted..The Big C Doesn’t Need Any Tricks
Hi Lou,
I think that you have a point there, don’t scratch and the anger goes away. The more that we focus on the petty annoyances the more they seem to grow, much like a scratched bump will grow bigger than if it was left alone!
Stacy
So true! I agree that when we’re feeling more sensitive to these minor injustices, it’s usually because we’re struggling with some other bigger issue that we haven’t fully realized yet. Now, that doesn’t make it easy to deal with the larger issues, but at the very least, it can help us get over the petty annoyances before we take them out on other people
Great post, Stacy!
Sarah Russell recently posted..Recommended Readings – Memorial Day Edition
Thank you Sarah,
You make a very good point, we need to get over our petty annoyances before we take them out on others!
Thanks,
Stacy
Hi Stacy,
who wouldn’t be able to relate. It misses that you burn your mouth at the cup of coffee at breakfast and spill it over your clothes. That would be the icing of the cake
When we experience such mornings, our emotions drive us, as if the dog walked its master and not the master the dog. We have to ask ourselves the question: Who is the master, who is the dog ? Am I the dog and my emotions the master or vice versa ?
Awesome mindset post, thanks for sharing.
Take care
Oliver
Oliver Tausend recently posted..The Goose That Laid The Golden Eggs
Hi Oliver,
Thank you for sharing, I like the way that you worded that, either we are the master of our emotions or they master us! So true!
Thank you,
Stacy
Stacy – Big fan of the article! These types of things can really get to us and have a negative impact.
It’s definitely a learned skill and something that has to be practiced to get through the little things that get under our skin.
Thanks for sharing!
Mike
Mike @ F.i.T. recently posted..How to Get Motivated
Hi Mike,
Thank you, I’m glad that you like the article! You’re right it is very much a learned skill!
Thanks,
Stacy
Stacy,
Good to see you’re guest posting, here.
I really enjoyed your article. You’re sharing here some excellent tips. Thanks for the awesome article with us.
Dev
Dev @ wpkube recently posted..How to Show Popular Posts with Thumbnails in WordPress
Thank you, Dev!
Thanks for the very helpful article! I find that it’s helpful, as you said, to take a deep breath and try to get in touch with my emotions. I don’t do this nearly often enough, journaling is what helps me the most to get in touch with what I’m feeling. I also find that a brief period of meditation helps me to calm down, or a call to a trusted friend to process what’s going on.
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted..Do You Make These Mistakes On Your Quest for Luck
Hi Steve,
Journaling and meditation are excellent ways to calm down!
Thank you for sharing,
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..So You Want to Be an Entrepreneur
Good article Stacey. Agree with you.
Have you noticed that some people take their anger, fear or irritation out on other members of social networks? They should change their way of getting whatever they are upset with out of their system.
Search engines record everthing and forget nothing. A person who slanders and insult other members of social media network on a continouos basis will become un-employable and people will think twice before doing business with him/her.
Catarina Alexon recently posted..Are leadership and democracy truly compatible
Hi Catarina,
I’ve noticed that too! I agree that people should be wise though, there are sites that keep records of old websites. Even if content that is deleted isn’t necessarily gone. Last year I wrote a post called Be Careful What You Tweet on this very topic!
Thanks for sharing!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..So You Want to Be an Entrepreneur
Hi Stacy,
Oh I do pretty easily get annoyed with petty things. And I also do experience outages at those times; everything goes blank for a while and I can’t work until I get back to normal mood. I really have not helped myself overcome it. Your tips sound really useful
Thanks for the heads up.
Cheers,
Jane.
Jane | Find All Answers recently posted..The 3D Approach to Effective Time Management
Hi Jane,
I think the tips will help you, I know they have helped me a lot!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..So You Want to Be an Entrepreneur
Hey Stacy,
I came up with a solution for two of the annoyances. The light and toilet paper problem, I went through the same thing. I put huge notes up in the areas were they can see it. Once they became accustomed to turning the lights off and putting new toilet paper. Then I took the notes down. lol Hey, It work for me.
Tisha recently posted..May Commentors Spotlight
Hi Tisha,
I’m glad that you found something that works for you!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..So You Want to Be an Entrepreneur
Hi Stacy,
I enjoyed reading your post and can certainly relate to those times when little annoyances compound and send one spiralling down to even darker corridors.
What I find is that the more vigilant I am with living mindfully and in the present the less likely I am to be consumed by little annoyances. When I can be aware of even a minor annoyance and immediately transform my emotion I change my state of mind. It does take conscious effort though.
~Marcus
Marcus Baker recently posted..May’s Top Supporters
Hi Marcus,
That’s a very good point about living in the present. Getting focused on all of the past annoyances can really drag us down and keep us from moving forward!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..So You Want to Be an Entrepreneur
Hey Stacy, I can totally relate to what you are saying although I do have to admit I have had a few perspective shifts lately too that also really help.
The statement you made that hit me the most (probably because I am writing a similar post in draft at the moment) is that it all boils down to changing our mindset.
We all have irritations or annoyances, but in the big scheme of life (ie: wet towel) does it reeeaaally matter??
I have two of the most untidy kids that ever walked the planet and I swear my life consists of blogging, tidying up, marketing, tidying up, shopping, tidying up, cooking, tidying up…. arrrgghhh…
The thing is I also like to focus on what is so right. ie: My beautiful kids, my annoying significant other (LOL), I have a comfortable home, and many friends and family who love me and vice versa.
I totally get your message here Stacy. I am so glad I am not alone.
My huge perspective shift, (although I have had them before) was losing my dear friend in January. I wrote about him “Dan the Man” on my blog. It really hit me in such a way that I realized how we can get so focused on those petty annoyances, and not focus on the things that matter!
Boy, this was a blog post in itself… and likely you will hear from me on the same topic in the next few days.
I loved this post Stacy. Thanks so much for being so real.
Best
Jayne
Jayne Kopp recently posted..Online Network Marketing & Choosing the Right Sponsor
Hi Jayne!
As usual, I know exactly what you are saying!
Focusing in what is right really helps so much. Great example with the kids because kids have so many amazing qualities and have so much to teach us (even though they have so much to learn too, especially in the area of tidiness!)
I look forward to your post on the topic!
Thanks for sharing!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..So You Want to Be an Entrepreneur
My brother told me that I must take a deep breath before I act or do something. Maybe because I am very freak when I got annoyed.
dlysen recently posted..Why web developers are having a hard times on web design
Dlysen,
Deep breaths can be very calming, in fact most people start breathing irregularly when upset.
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Breakfast For Your Mind
Stacy,
I really enjoyed your article.
I get upset when I find I’ve allowed myself to be annoyed by little things. I usually catch myself and say, ‘Will this matter to me in 5 years?’ Of course the answer is always NO. At this point I start repeating affirmations of forgiveness toward myself and anyone else that I was annoyed with. After a few minutes I forget all about the incident that annoyed me in the first place!
Thanks for all the great guidance you shared with us.
Angela Artemis/Poweredbyintuition recently posted..Can Our Intuition Abandon Us
Hi Angela,
Thank you for sharing your method of asking yourself if this will matter in 5 years. That’s a great way to determine if we are worrying about petty things!
Have a great day,
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Finding Answers to the Riddles of Life
We sometimes do not notice it but we are annoyed by petty things. Sometimes the petty things occupy most of our time and energy and we feel exhausted at the end of the day, and still accomplished nothing. Nice article.
Maribelle,
You make a great point, if we allow the petty annoyances to consume it is extremely draining!
Thanks,
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Great Links of the Week
Excellent tips, Stacy. I like a little reminder now and then to keep me focused on the important things.
Barbara Bockman recently posted..Monday Metaphor- Paradox It Is- and It Isn’t- or Is It
Thank you Barbara, I think that we all need reminders from time to time!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Self Love- A Path of Discovery and Learning
This “kick the dog” example is indeed familiar and it seems dated and is painful to read to those of us who care about animals. It makes it sound like abusing an animal is a normal thing to do. Let’s retire this dog-eared example. How about the man drinks too much beer? Or argues with his wife? Or punches a wall? Whatever. Just leave the poor dog alone or it will bite him.
Vicky,
Perhaps we should try to turn the old example around so that a new one becomes more popular!
I agree the example about kicking the dog isn’t kind to animals, but I assure you that no dogs were hurt in the making of this post.
Take care,
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Can You Blog Like a Star on a Budget
Hi Stacey
Definitely, I have umpteen things that can drive me crazy. Luckily I have had Mind Alchemy to help me out,thanks to Steven. I so agree with Melody’s comment, but we are a time ruled society, not good for someone like me, especially in the mornings. And it is awful when you are in such a hurry and no one else will get out of your way. Try Camden tube on a Friday night. Aaaaagh. And I know that is totally unreasonable.
Look forward to a time when I can do my own pace and a lot of that stuff will go away. But I do recognise when I am getting annoyed about small stuff now, so I don’t express it unnecessarily.
Steven, you might need a dimmer lamp so you don’t have to get up in the complete dark, or perhaps you have one already.
Have a very unirritating week everyone. Lots of deep breaths and then say —- it!
Rachel xx
Hi Rachel,
Yes, Steven’s Mind Alchemy course is an amazing resource of tools to change our thoughts and the outcomes of our life.
It can be difficult dealing with times in our society. Growing up I was taught that if you aren’t 15 minutes early you are late. So I have often found myself stressed when pressed for time.
I definitely learned all of these tips the hard way!
Thanks for sharing,
Stacy
Stacy Claflin recently posted..Self Love- A Path of Discovery and Learning
Hi Stacy
I wanted to welcome you to the great list of authors who have joined CYT and written great posts like this.
I think a lot of us can totally relate to what you have written here. I know I’ve stubbed my toe on the end of the bed a lot of times, since I get up when it’s dark
and if I don’t mind myself it can set me in a bad mood all day.
Thanks for writing this Stacy it’s a real pleasure having you here.
Hi Steven,
Thank you very much for the opportunity to guest post, I’m very excited to post here at CYT.
Thanks again!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Great Links of the Week
Hi Stacy,
When I am getting annoyed by petty things it is an emotional indicator for me that I have some stuck emotions to deal with. Fear or something fear related is always the cause of it.
I also use petty annoyances as an indicator that I need to slow down entirely and take a few deep breaths.
Justin | Mazzastick recently posted..How To Stand Your Ground When Everything Goes Wrong
Hi Justin,
Fear is a very powerful emotion and if it’s undealt with we can really react strongly to events and people. Fear brings the feeling of being backed into a corner.
Deep breaths are extremely effective to help calm down!
Take care,
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Great Links of the Week
Thank you Stacy, wonderful insights. I also found that if if allow myself to become chronically tired or stressed i become what my husband joyfully calls ‘the antichrist’ – we go in overload. It takes detachment to be able to see the real cause of the irritation and discipline to not let them develop. Best wishes, Ligia
Hi Ligia,
Yes, being tired and stressed (not to mention ill) can really make an impact on our mindset. I found myself snapping this weekend while I will feeling sick but some refocus of my thoughts helped me to snap out of it even while sick.
You make a great point about it taking detachment to see the real cause. It is very difficult when we are in the midst of the emotion.
Thanks for sharing!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Finding Friends in Unlikely Places
This is so true Stacy. When we’re in a negative mindset, lots of little things will bother us. When I’m in a hurry, I get annoyed with other people walking down the street. I just want to herd them out of the way. But what I’m really annoyed at is the feeling of being rushed, of not having enough time. Who created that feeling? Me. If walk down the street while in a good mood, I love all the people around me. They don’t bother me at all.
Thanks for the valuable insights.
Hugs,
Melody
Melody | Deliberate Receiving recently posted..How I Turned My Body from an Enemy Into a Friend
Hi Melody,
I can relate to that one when I’m driving! I’m definitely the one creating the frustration because on any other day I wouldn’t be irritated by the other drivers.
Thanks!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Self Love- A Path of Discovery and Learning