About Melanie ThomassianOne of the best ways to increase your chance of success in all areas of life is to develop a positive mental attitude.
Taking a positive attitude toward life makes you a happier person all round, and one that other people in your life look up to, and want to spend time with.
There’s even evidence that having a positive attitude can help lower stress levels and improve your health.
Maintaining a Positive Mental Attitude
Here are 7 ways that we can all work toward developing a positive outlook on life.
1. Focus On The Present
Mark Twain said,
I’ve been through terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
He was pointing out the fact that we often add to our problems by building them up in our minds to be bigger than they really are.
How often do you find that things you worry about for days end up not happening at all, or not being as big a problem as you thought?
But, by focussing on the present as much as possible, you can minimize the worries and fears that lead to negative emotions.
2. Use Positive Language
Do you ever notice how much of what you say is negative?
Some people constantly complain about the weather, their work, their spouse, their neighbours, and any number of other things.
We all do it from time to time.
However, it’s good to remind ourselves that our words are shaped by our thoughts, and the more we can look for positive things to say, the more positive our thoughts will become. Willie Nelson said it well when he said,
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.
Make it your endeavour to commit to positive thinking. So, each day when you wake up give yourself a mini pep talk – what do you want to achieve? How will you react to trying situations? How will you avoid negative thoughts? Remember, thinking positive is a habit, which means it’s possible to learn how to do it.
3. Accept When Things Aren’t Perfect
It can be difficult to let go of the need for perfection and control in your life, but sometimes it’s very liberating to simply accept that things will not always go the way you hoped, and that’s okay.
Sometimes things happen that are out of your control, and rather than wasting your energy on negative emotions, it’s better to just accept that things didn’t go the way you planned or wanted.
Remember, most things pass with time.
4. Mix With Positive People
It’s a fact of human nature that we tend to mimic the people we spend the most time with.
Think of how teenagers tend to conform to the social code of their friends. It’s the same for everyone else, too.
So, the more frequently you spend time with positive thinking people, the more likely it is that you will begin to think and act in a similar fashion.
Also, don’t underestimate the power of laughing either, it has a wonderful way of reducing stress, connecting you with those around you, and generally making you feel better all round. I wholeheartedly agree with William James when he said,
We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we’re happy because we laugh.
5. Contribute In A Meaningful Way
One of the best ways to feel more positive is to contribute to your community in some way.
It can be tremendously uplifting to help others, whether it’s through the use of your time, skills or financial contributions.
As well as the good feelings that come with making a difference in someone’s life, contributing your time and effort to a cause, allows you a brief escape from your current problems, and perhaps may even allow you see your troubles in a different light.
6. Keep Learning
Develop a curiosity about the world around you, and the people in it. No matter what situation you’re in right now, there is always something we can learn from it.
Taking a real interest in life gives you energy, it helps create new ideas in your mind, and gives you a different way of thinking about things, that can have a positive impact on your life as a whole.
7. Be Grateful
Spend a little time each day thinking of things that you are truely thankful for in your life.
Reminding yourself of all the reasons you have to be grateful, helps to maintain some focus on your situation.
Being thankful will often turn initial anger or frustration into something more positive. Remember, we all have weaknesses, but focusing on your strengths prevents them getting the better of us.
A good practice to get into is that of keeping a gratitude journal. This is where you make a note of at least 5 things that make you happy or thankful each day. This is one of the best ways to foster the habit of gratitude.
Finally, keep in mind that how you view your life is your choice. No one is forcing you to have a negative attitude, so take control and change it for a happier, more energetic, and more enthusiastic life.
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Hi Melanie,
I love that quote from Mark Twain. I noticed many of the same patterns that were on your list will help with keeping a positive mental attitude.
I would say that mixing with positive people is one of the best ways to improve our attitude. People have a tendency to rub off on me for better or worse.
Staying present also helps a lot.
Justin | Mazzastick recently posted..Master’s Lesson – Intuitive Exercises to Awaken The Divine Self
Great post! Another benefit of #5, “Contribute in a meaningful way” has on positive thinking is the perspective such service provides.
As you say, it is so easy to focus so much attention on all our worries and discomforts, that we forget to take several steps back once in a while to look at things from a broader perspective.
More often than not, our trite concerns and complaints are just that — trite! I like to ask myself this question whenever I catch myself in negative thoughts: But what can I learn from this moment? It has the effect of changing my perspective almost immediately.
Meant to be Happy recently posted..A Light at the End of the Tunnel
I too love the Mark Twain quote. It’s one I’ve not seen before. Thank you. It made me smile and recognize a truth in myself!
Marty recently posted..Are You A Victim
@Justin, @MTBH @Marty — I often find myself referring to Mark Twain. I wish I could think them up myself, lol but then, why reinvent what’s already been done extremely well
@MTBH — great question, too, love it.
All 7 of these strategies are simple and it leaves me wondering: why doesn’t it work for over 90% of the people on this planet?
Reid Peterson recently posted..Would People Be Happier If They Worked Only 4 Days A Week
That’s a great question, Reid. Do you think people just don’t care enough? To give you another quote I recently come across, Jim Rohn said, ”If you care at all, you’ll get some results. If you care enough, you’ll get incredible results.”
Hey Melanie. You made some fantastic points. I couldn’t agree more.
Reid & Mel, from my perspective (and IMHO), I don’t think it’s that people don’t care. I think it’s truly that they are so used to just reacting to circumstances and not living deliberately that they don’t believe that doing these seemingly simple things will actually help.
Some people will give it an honest try and get results, and some will dismiss this kind of advice because they haven’t yet remembered they actually have the power to change the way they feel. But they will. Everyone in their own time.
Hugs,
Melody
Melody | Deliberate Receiving recently posted..Why We Fall For Weight Loss Scams
Hi Melanie,
Great post. Research does indeed indicate that a positive outlook on life correlates with happier, and mentally healthier people. In fact, you mention focusing on the present, which is a cornerstone of mindfulness, and is a powerful way to reduce anxiety and depression (anxiety is about the future, depression is about the past). Coincidentally, I posted a blog on acceptance today, which is very much related!
Great minds think alike… or maybe I just got lucky!
Thanks
Chris
Chris Akins recently posted..The paradox of acceptance
lol Chris, I will check out your article, too
Enjoyed reading your post Melanie!
The past is exactly that, past, over , done!!! Delete!! I’m thankful for being blessed with the ability to blot out things that are negative and that could fester bitterness. Not so easy for others but yes, it can be done. Keep looking to the present day and the future.
Take each mistake as a learning episode!
Ruth, you are exactly right. There’s no point harping back to the negative things in our past all the time. We all have them, unfortunately, but they are not worth dwelling on. I like your point about looking to the present day and future — very true indeed.
I like what you said about early rising and staying positive. IN life we have a choice of how we wake up positive or negative. This brings us to the fact that if we are happy, and positive at the start of the day, then the entire day is a great positive day too!
Jackie Paulson recently posted..How Should I Write a Book Review
Hi Jackie, you mean there’s no such things as “getting out of the wrong side of the bed in the morning?” lol Do you know that expression?
You are absolutely right, we can make a choice to be positive or negative about each and every situation in life. It’s quite liberating when you see life like that.
hi….melaine….
thanks for such great nad postive steps to remind again…u have said all things rite nad iin ba balance way…we ppl forget and make our life’s..miserable…stay happy”and stay postive” is d KEY of life……blessings
Hi Melanie
I wanted to officially welcome you to CYT as an author, I am really pleased that you sent in the article, I knew the CYT readers would love it
I totally get all the 7 strategies you listed here and they are something i practice on a regular basis, and I teach these lessons in all my courses.
Thanks again Melanie, it’s really great to have you here.
Hey Melanie, I think you hit on the core principles here on what it means to have a positive mindset. I would add to “Accept When Things Aren’t Perfect” that we should also sometimes give ourselves PERMISSION to be sad or frustrated. I notice that when we allow ourselves to experience the full-range of human emotions, we become much more balanced and satisfied with our lives. But if we try to always run away from negativity, it just builds up inside of us. It’s OK to feel negative every now and then – it helps us to release it and move on.
Steven recently posted..The Illusion Of No Control
My faves: Mix with positive people and keep learning!
Your blog look quite informative- have you checked out The Blogging Buddies Social Network
…you can create a profile, and add your blog, Twitter and Facebook links in the appropriate groups.
We also have featured members each week, which are promoted on 2 twitter and facebook accounts, and on the site itself.
You may even be my next guest on my radio show, Get Bizzy Blogging.
Why not join in the blog-hopping fun?
Carolee
Come on home – mom blog
Working at home advice
Love it Melanie. I used to be in the tennis industry as a pro coach and the PMA was BIG at one time and I still feel it’s what imagination and intention are for. Rarely does anyone who can thinks and feels that all will turn out well and actually picture this, ever fail miserably or not reach their potential. We can all unfold our own gold but to reach the top we first have to believe at every level of ourself that we can and will sit on our own mountain top viewing every achievement we have made. Winning always starts when we have a mind to do it. Don’t be beaten before you’ve started is the ethic I used and it still works wonders decades later. And it saved my life…..
John Sherry recently posted..5 Wonderful Life Wake-Up Calls
Great post Melanie…we all have a lot to be thankful for!
Glenn recently posted..A lesson to learn
Hi Melanie,
Empowering advice. I like your realistic approach to PMA. Often times in life things are not going to go smoothly. It is important to know that shouting “YES” does more harm when we are not grounded in reality. A “YES” shout has no clout when spoken from an attitude of “Woe”. With persistence and pragmatism we can keep our attitude elevated and our feet on the ground.
“Sometimes things happen that are out of your control, and rather than wasting your energy on negative emotions, it’s better to just accept that things didn’t go the way you planned or wanted.”
Melanie, this point really hit me and resonates with me. A couple of days ago, I was reflecting with a friend about the past as the cool breeze of the evening blew on us. I told him how I recently discovered that I made some crazy mistakes in life that I wish I wouldn’t have. He replied back that we all do things that we hadn’t planned. Life isn’t about being perfect.
This made me think.. you are right.
Why should I let the areas where I’ve made mistakes direct my life? Things go wrong, but I should have a positive mental attitude like you said.
Thanks for these words
Stephen Miracle recently posted..Stylish Tea Clothing Coupon – Global Premium Designer
Great post. I wish that more people would read this and your site as a whole. Over the last couple of years, I’ve learned a lot of these lessons and do my best to practice all of them everyday. We all get bogged down, but the more we reach for positive thoughts and feelings, the easier it gets to do that.
What a wonderful post! When we make a conscious effort to change our thinking from negative to positive, life becomes more enjoyable. We focus on the good that is happening, and try to let go of negative emotions. It makes us happier overall.
Cathy | Treatment Talk recently posted..How to Say Goodbye and Cross the Bridge to Recovery
Melanie, I agree with you that mixing with positive people brings great influences to us. Currently I’m supporting a depression friend and is constantly facing with her negative emotions and thinking. But hey, I never let myself drown in the same gloomy situation too. I keep the positive attitude, laugh, tell jokes… Stay positive even when you can’t be with likewise people. And hopefully, she will get back the smile soon too
Hi Melanie, fabulous passed. I too loved the Mark Twain quote. I agree absolutely with you on the need to live Now and that worry is really just imagination gone wrong. Thanks for sharing, Take care, Stephen
Stephen Gemmell recently posted..Imagination without limit
Great post Melanie…we all have a lot to be thankful for!..
klima recently posted..Bosch Klima Servisi İstanbul
Hi Melanie,
thanks for your blog. Although I know the 7 strategies you wrote in this great article. And I use them also. Nevertheless I think that there is something missing and that is a kind of balance. It looks like that you are proposing that there only should be positive mental attitude. But unfortunately there are lots of reasons why we should feel down. So I guess I am more the kind of person who believes in balance and learning to deal with positive and negative events. And be aware of your own feelings and do not follow them to much is a strong way of handling your life
with love
Guido
Good way for self developing is by affirmation.
Try to feel happiness & fill mind with this feeling.
If you can’t, then relax and take ABSOLUTE focus on ‘happiness’.
Practice it often, many times a daily & many days yearly
Cheers
What a fantastic list for maintaining your positive attitude. Over this past year I’ve been working through a similar list I created myself. And in the past 6 weeks some major changes made me forget a lot of what I had learned. Thanks for such a wonderful reminder that I can print out and put on my bedroom mirror!
I can relate to this article because I am one of those positive mental attitude types and all my life I’ve dealt with people’s misconception of my personal outlook on life.
I do tend to approach things thinking “How can I make this work?” and because I have a pleasant demeanor, sometime’s people admit they are surprised I’ve dealt with what I have because I’m always smiling (lol and no, not at weird inappropriate times)
Of course bad things happen, sometimes more often than others. Of course there are a negative side to things. But I don’t see how scowling at every face I see or approaching everything with “I Can’t” improves my quality of life.
In fact, I think being the way I am helped bring some major opportunities, not to mention a solid growing network of good people.
I am always looking to grow and increase my ability to utilize positive thinking for my life. Thanks for this post.
Hi everyone,
Thank you for all your comments and encouragement, I really appreciate your kind words. And, for those of you who added your own thoughts and experiences… great stuff! Sorry for my delayed response, I’ve been on holiday
#3 Accept When Things Aren’t Perfect: If things don’t go our way it is our fault. It is a manifestation of our emotional state of being. So therefore you should always try to be in control of choosing happy feel\good thoughts. Because If you don’t negative energy will flow your way b/c its what your trying to avoid. Basically if something bad happens to you its in the works hours even possibility days before it happens b/c u were allowing yourself to be miss e lined with feeling good/happy feelings. To allow you to be in a happy place every emotion good, bad or, otherwise is your responsibility and no one can make you feel a certain way it is always your choice. So therefore nothing happens to us outside of our control if we are in our happy place nothing bad or contrary to feeling good can happen to us. Unless we choose to allow that negative emotion to be in control.(which once again is a choice!)
I must say awesome post and i agreed with Mark’s quote “I’ve been through terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
It’s with everyone, we always see the grass more greener on the other side… but we fail to understand that we are also on the other side of someone else….!!!
I would love to read more from you…
And don’t forget my quotation “If you want to eat, you’ll have to open your mouth”
Great post Melanie!
I especially like the comment about saying only positive things. Paying attention to what we say can make so much of a difference.
I have spent the past couple of years ‘watching’ my thoughts and, to my dismay, came to the realisation that there was a lot of negativity in there! taking the time to acknowledge this and replace positive thoughts with negative ones when they appear has really changed my outlook on life and helped me see many more opportunities!
Thanks,
Emma