“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
By : Alexander Graham Bell
Transition is a part of life. When we’re children, the different chapters in life come in rapid succession. Crawling to walking to running. Crying to talking to communicating. Our first day at school. Our first day at high school. Our first day in college.
When we’re younger, we seem to move with these transitions effortlessly. They happen and we just go with the flow, as it should be. As we get older, more and more it seems that we resist. We attach our sense of identity to our current stage in life, and the prospect of change ends up looking like a threat.
It may be because most of us hear the question ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?‘ many, many times as we grew up. So maybe when we’re ‘grown up’ we feel that we need to be something. Now. Maybe we feel there’s a rush to get to this final destination of being a grown up.
I think there’s some truth to that. I think there’s definitely a lot of other theories and reasons. And I think they’re all probably worth no more then a few seconds of our time. It’s interesting to talk about, sure. But life is about moving forward.
That quote above rings so true. There are doors constantly opening up for us. But we spend so much time (and energy) staring back at the closed door that we don’t even realize the new and exciting opportunities ahead of us… if we’d just turn around. We spend so much time in regret and sorrow, not wanting to let go and embrace change.
So transition is a part of life. But I wouldn’t stop there. I really feel that transition is also a life skill, one that we need to master. Imagine two people living identical lives, meaning the same problems, trials, and tribulations. They both go through the same transitions but Person A accepts all the changes rather reluctantly, while Person B embraces all the life changes with energy. Person B sees change on the horizon and goes after it while Person A lets change run him down, and submits to it only when there’s no choice.
Very different approaches that would lead to very different outcomes, wouldn’t you agree?
Where are you at in your life? I feel I go through phases. When I’m more aware, when I’m making an effort to be conscious of my actions, I tend to embrace change. But I do fall into an unconscious pattern from time to time ““ when I lack self-awareness ““ and during those periods I’ll stubbornly resist change.
And you guessed it, the change happens anyway. No matter how much I complain or sulk or resist, it happens. When change stops, life ends. So what am I resisting, life?? A funny thing happens though at this point. After I’ve finally accepted whatever change has come my way, I go through a period where I’m totally fine with any change. I look for change. I go to the other extreme ““ ‘might as well change everything!’ As a result, I end up discovering new things and having new experiences.
Being the catalyst for change feels a lot better then having change forced upon you.
When I accept an embrace change early one, proactively, it feels good. It feels exhilarating and I’m sure I’m not the only one that has experienced. Whether it’s traveling somewhere new, moving, changing jobs, taking on a new and different responsibility in life, etc., it all brings that similar, exciting, nervous, joyous sensation. It makes me feel not only alive ““ but I feel like I’m living.
So where are you in your life, relative to embracing or resisting change? I’d love to hear some stories. They’ll certainly help me out, and I’m sure some others would agree.
To Your Success,