Dr. Max Pemberton has been an active psychiatrist for a long time, and over his practicing, he has noticed some things regarding his patients’ behaviors, which have stuck with him over the years.
Those things are all related to a patient’s happiness level. Most people struggle to find happiness in their lives, but Dr. Max has discovered that even those who face adversity and tribulations have at least one thing to be happy about.
The trick is to find that positive thing in the negative situations.
After years of practice, Dr. Max made a list of 10 things that he believed would help people become happier. After all, it has worked for his patients; perhaps it will work for you as well.
1) Stop Worrying About Everything
If we added up all the hours we spent worrying about what could happen in our lives, we would never leave our house.
Dr. Max had a patient who was worrying about things all the time. To help his patient overcome that anxiety, Dr. Max drafted a list of all the complaints that she had brought him. When they went through that list together, he pointed out that none of her worries had come true.
2) Find What Really Makes You Angry
Dr. Max recounts a story of a patient who was mad at her husband because he’d never wash the dishes. They had several arguments about that. Dr. Max suggested to the patient that she buys a dishwasher. She then replied that she and her husband would just fight about something else.
Of course, it became clear that not doing the dishes represented the woman’s fear related to her husband’s lack of affection towards her.
3) Be Nice to Yourself
Dr. Max is always surprised at how his patients talk about themselves like they’re curbside trash.
In all his years, he is still shocked by the mean things people can believe about themselves. Being kind to yourself does not take any more energy than being mean. Therefore, why not try being nice to yourself just for once?
4) Be Nice to Others
You know the old saying, “if you can’t beat them, join them”? That’s the truest thing about life. Don’t worry about what others are doing, saying, or wearing, and stop judging them.
Instead, try swapping out these negative thoughts to positive feelings about that person, and you’ll see your mood improve. Being nice isn’t that hard.
5) Get Another Job
For some people, their job is everything. Unfortunately, it can also be what kills them slowly. Dr. Max points out that those who suffer through work are also suffering in other areas of their lives.
We all have to work to make a living, but we don’t need to work ourselves to death.
6) Accept People or Move On
We tend to spend a great deal of our energy in trying to change others. The silliest things can make us get angry or upset about other people.
Unless you can accept someone for who they are, then you need to move on with your life so that those emotions don’t consume you.
7) Stop Saying You’re Fine
If you’re sad, say it. If things are bad, say they’re bad. Stop hiding from others by saying you are fine. People who care about you know what fine really means, and they’re willing to listen, more often than you imagine. Don’t keep things bottled in if you really have something to say.
You will feel better as soon as you get it out and have the chance to talk about it.
8) Say No
It’s simple. Try it out. See how it feels. Do not recount it when you do. Saying no gives you the freedom to do what you want to do in life, and helps you to stop feeling so indebted to others.
9) Talk it Out
Everyone needs at least one person in their lives with whom they can share their thoughts and feelings. Still, some prefer to journal or see a psychiatrist.
Find what helps you more and use it on a regular basis so that you do not get trapped in your own mind in perpetual cycles of negative thoughts.
10) Tell Others You Love Them
You may not wake up tomorrow. It’s scary, but it’s true. Don’t leave anything left unsaid. Take the chance to tell people you care while you can.
You will be glad you did, and it will make you feel even happier that you don’t keep those things hidden inside.
This article was first published here.