Personal Development

Here's Why Love From Others Starts With Loving Yourself

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Love is tricky. Love is kind. And sometimes love can be tough. However, the question still remains, how can we get love and lots of it? When it comes to love you have to relate it to the chicken and the egg situation. No, of course I don't want you to love a chicken unless this is something that appeals to you, then go right ahead. There's is no judgement or prejudice from my view. And no I don't wish high cholesterol on anyone.

When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn't healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits "“ anything that kept me small.  My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving."
"“ Kim McMillen

quotes_on_loveHow Do You Start Loving Yourself?

What I am trying to get at here is what comes first? The egg or the chicken? In this case, does love from others come first, or from yourself? This is the million dollar question we have to ask ourselves. Many of us, especially women, have been led to believe that we have to search for love. Perhaps if we wish long and hard enough, that love will find us, save us and change our life forever. Don't believe me? Do you remember reading or watching Cinderella, Snow White and all the rest of them?

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."
"“ Lucille Ball

Importance Of Self Love

Acting helpless and vulnerable might get you some attention at Disney World, but in reality, in the world we live in today, it's the individuals who are strong and know their self-worth who attain love, and most importantly are able to give love back to others. Self worthlessness comes from two sources – what you tell yourself and what other people tell you about yourself. The first step is to cleanse yourself of these negative beliefs about yourself. Start telling yourself, "I love being me", "I love myself".

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance"
"“ Oscar Wilde

How To Love Yourself First?

Never confuse loving yourself for an excuse to become arrogant, egotistic or think you are better than others. When you love yourself, you accept yourself for who you are. You give yourself respect, a positive self- image and unconditional self-acceptance. You have to always keep in mind that the cliché expression, "Nobody's perfect" is true. Everybody has their strengths and weaknesses and we should all work on improving ourselves. We were put on earth to serve a purpose and the only way we will know what our purpose in our life is is when we show love to our self and to others. Never seek approval from others to love yourself. Remember to give pure love to you and others.

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours "“ it is an amazing journey "“ and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins."
"“ Bob Moawad

Ways To Love Yourself

  • Here are some ways to find self-love and always remember you are special.
  • Create a list of all your successes instead of failures in a success notebook.
  • Congratulate yourself when you have done something good
  • Take care of yourself. Do exercise, eat healthy, spa treatments, massages
  • Don't criticise yourself. Use criticism as something constructive to change your weaknesses
  • Take responsibility for your mistakes and learn from them in order to grow and be a better person
  • Take time to do things you love e.g. travelling, meeting with friends, reading
  • Treat yourself to something luxurious e.g. new shoes, watch

It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."
"“ Sidney J. Harris

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About the author

Valentine Palmer

Valentine Palmer is the founder of and veteran actor of the classic sci-fi series Dr. Who. He is a self-development, voice and public speaking coach with several years' experience helping others build self-confidence for life or big corporate presentations. You can watch Valentine in action on Youtube, like him on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.