Personal Development

8 Things That We Didn't Know Made Us Unhappy

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How many habits do you have and do regularly that make you feel great? Hopefully quite a few! Alternatively, how many habits do you do every day that make you feel bad? Or, make you feel bad but you didn't even know?

There are so many things we do throughout our life that seem like reasonable and normal personality or social traits, but ultimately lead to a sort of lessening of the spirit. We have small social tendencies to upkeep or feel like we should give in to, that are innocent on the surface, but aspire to engage a sort of demeaning of our character after time. Things like gossiping or evaluating our self worth all aim to upset our chakra and unbalance our lives. Here are some things we do without realizing it, that we could avoid to keep ourselves on the straight and narrow.

10_destructive_habits_that_unhappy_people_have1. Giving in to gossip

"Great minds talk about ideas. Average minds talk about events. Small minds talk about people."

We've all heard or seen this popular adage, and although it may be a bit dramatic, it is also a bit true. There are enough times throughout the day when we feel forced to give in to talking about gossip just to fill in social space. We sit in food courts with nothing to talk about and resort to gossiping about other people, our friends, family, enemies, anybody, when we know we should be talking about something with more substance.

We all know that gossiping is bad and it's been ingrained in us since our social training as children. Whenever gossip starts to rear it's head, try to steer the conversation away, to something more positive and worthy. In the moment of defense, you'll be surprised how many more great things you can come up with to talk about!

2. Reacting on impulse

Any time we react on impulse we are acting out of fear, emotion or pride. We make quick, snapshot decisions of which the consequences are not thought of and are uncontrollable.

When you feel the urge to react impulsively, whether it be when you are driving, shopping, or arguing with your loved ones, take a deep breath and relax for a minute. Allow your mind to clear and choose your words and actions for the benefit of the future, whether it be two minutes into the future, or a decision that will resonate for year to come. Slow down and think.

3. Evaluating your self worth

Too often these days we are presented with opportunities where we feel that we need to evaluate our self worth based on others, or at least our perception of us against them. We see our friends having great days on Facebook and we see young people walking around with the most modern and trendy of styles. We compare ourselves to them, and more often than not it becomes an issue of self deprecation and belittlement.

Learn to love yourself not based on your fashion, hair, age, size, or Facebook posting history. Appreciate who you are and what you offer to the world as a loving and compassionate person with a great circle of friends, family and influences, and you will rocket to the top of the charts.

4. Telling yourself that you are too old for…

Telling yourself that you are too old to accomplish anything you've set your mind to is the first step to disaster and an unfulfilling life. I have seen backpackers travelling the world that were over 65 years old, people starting businesses well into their fifties, or people publishing books and memoirs when they are in their old age homes. There's no limit to the capacity of any human, and age is certainly not the limiting factor. The only thing limiting yourself is you and your beliefs. We are never too old to continue and there is no age limit for success.

5. We know our priorities but keep them at bay

Procrastination is not something that is reserved only for teenagers – in fact, I think adults are more prone to procrastinate out of any age group! We get lazy and tired the more we work, and it shows when priority rears it head. We are perhaps shy or lazy to confront the reality of a situation we get in, and it takes us a long time in turn to either confront our fears or face the responsibilities that we have in front of us. It diminishes our power to make confident decisions, and we might develop an opinion that we can put anything on the backburner, resulting in a slow growth of nihilism. Confront your responsibilities first hand, and don't be afraid to make the wrong decision.

6. We put too much pressure on ourselves

There are a lot of things we want to get done in our lives, and a lot of things we see our friends doing that we want to get done as well. People travel, succeed, get promotions, new things, etc, and we have as much drive to get these things as well. Sometimes we want everything at once, and are frustrated when things aren't materializing the way we imagined.

We must remember that life is long and we need to take time to get everything we want done. We cannot put too much pressure on ourselves or we might get overcome with frustration and start to feel unable.

7. Anytime we live in the past

Grudges, anxiety, regret. All of these things put unnecessary strain on ourselves put only exist in the past. We cannot revisit the past and all we can do is carry forward into the future. We have to be forward thinking creatures in order to overcome all difficulties that past stressors put on us.

8. We choose careers over family or friends

This doesn't happen to everyone but sometimes it occurs when we least expect it. We take jobs to enhance our resume or acquire new credentials, but it is at the expensive of our lifestyle or time. We sacrifice time with our friends or family, or take jobs that have long commutes or are even abroad, and our relationships are put under duress. We've done it for the job, but after we've gotten the experience sometimes we have different relationships then we'd had before, and our hearts feel the greatest burden.

Make decisions that positively impact your lifestyle and that of your family's. At the end of our life, it is not money or a good resume we need, but the relationships that make us feel fulfilled and had a life of love.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.