Personal Development

7 Pillars Of Self Confidence

Written by Ian Ryan

Confidence is something everyone of us desires. Sometimes the world can feel like an overwhelming sea of uncertainty and we start to let our limiting beliefs dictate how we operate on a daily basis.

Have you let your limiting beliefs prevent you from going after what you really want in life?  Before I dive into my 7 pillars of self confidence, it’s important for you to understand that confidence is a habit, not an attitude. You become self confident by trying new things and discovering you can do them.

“Knowledge without action is like a bird without wings.”

Keep in mind that the greatest leaders in the world today weren’t born with a superman cape. They built their “confidence bank” one brick at a time. It’s a journey. Be patient and you’ll get there.

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Pillar 1 – Self Development

Gaining knowledge is a huge part of the puzzle. Become a master of your craft and you’ll start to open up the doors to new opportunities. Do you ever wonder how today’s leaders walk around so much self confidence?

They are masters of their craft and have invested in themselves. Keep in mind that it is your moral duty to apply your knowledge and share what you’ve learned with the world.  Investing in your self development will be a big part of unlocking your true potential.

Pillar 2 – Take Care Of Your Health

There will some things in life you have little control over. You could lose your hair or unexpectedly get laid off from your job. Do everything you can to take care of the body you live in. Take notice of high performers from around the world and you’ll notice that the vast majority of them take care of themselves. Make your health a priority and you’ll confidently glow with more happiness. This is your life. You deserve to look and feel your best.

Pillar 3 – Put Yourself Out There

You have to get over the fear of uncertainty and share your thoughts with the world. I’ve let uncertainty paralyze me before.

• I didn’t publish a blog post for 2 years because I was worried about other people’s opinion.
• Don’t expect perfection. Just get started.

Every time you put yourself out there, you’ll add a dollar to you’re confidence bank account. Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself. Most people will give you credit for trying. And the others don’t count.

Pillar 4- Take Responsibility For Your Life

Come to terms with the fact you are the CEO of your own life. Drug addiction runs deep in my family and I’ve seen it kill several people in my inner circle (including my brother). Don’t become a victim and blame others for your situation. You can make the decision to choose your own path and confidently march to your own beat. Decide to be in control. Navigate your own ship and don’t let anything stop you.

Pillar 5- Reevaluate your inner circle and make changes if needed.

Who are you spending the majority of your time with? Are these people bringing out your strengths and motivating you to do more?

Become self confident requires practice, resilience and patience. Make sure you spend time with people who challenge you and support your journey.

Changing your circle isn’t always easy and can sometimes seem like a daunting task. You have to think outside the box and make an uncomfortable commitment.

Join a local meet up group in your area that inspires you.

Join a local toastmasters group and work on your public speaking.

Join an online community that holds you accountable.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Pillar 6-Redefine Failure

People with the so called self confident gene don’t believe in failure. Neither should you. The wonderful thing about trying hard is it almost always succeeds, eventually. Use your failures as learning experiences and then fail again. Become resilient and realize that the most important thing is how you handle knocks. They will make you feel like crap sometimes. But the longer you linger on them, the further your confidence will tumble.

People usually give up a couple failures away from success. Learn from the things that don’t workout but never dwell on them.

Pillar 7- Believe In Yourself

If you follow pillars 1-6 you’ll start to believe anything is possible. Stay focused on where you want to go and keep believing in your dreams. Confidence is attractive and breeds opportunity. Confidence in yourself is infectious-it inspires others to believe in you. Don’t let other people’s opinions drown our your inner voice. Keep moving forward and your breakthrough will come.

The greatest confidence in life is won, not given. You might not see it, but everyone has the confidence gene somewhere inside of them.

Ultimately, having confidence is the difference between doing what you want and doing what you’re told. All you have to do is start taking responsibility for yours and claim the life you deserve. Are you in?

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About the author

Ian Ryan

Ian Ryan is a fitness professional who helps people establish better habits and more confidence in their lives. He has worked with hundreds of clients in the DC area and believes a negative mindset is the #1 limiting factor for living a healthy lifestyle. You can find more here or connect on Facebook or here