"I worry because I love you" was a phrase frequently uttered and insinuated to me throughout most of my young life. I was taught that if you truly cared about something or someone, you worried and stressed over everything about them (it's an Italian family tradition!). I spent the better part of my young life, into adult-hood, riddled with anxiety from an engrained thinking pattern filled with worst case scenario type thoughts and beliefs; it was hell!
By the time I had kids, the fears became almost overwhelming and I knew something had to change. I absolutely did not want to surround my kids with limits based on scenarios that actually didn't even exist; except in my negatively trained mind. I was also beginning to experience a host of health issues, from migraines to fibroids, and I knew if I didn' t make some changes it would only start getting worse. So I sought the help of a holistic health coach who taught me about clean eating but also, somewhat unexpectedly, shed light on how my worry wart habits were impacting my health and a whole lot more.
This awareness was literally life changing. For years my habitually fear based thinking had gone practically unnoticed by me and it was running the show; slowing ruining my health and peace of mind. The realization was powerful yet daunting. I began to understand that our thoughts and energy create our reality, but how could I change everything I knew to be true and ditch the fear factor beliefs for good? I decided to completely dive in and learn all I could about the Law of Attraction, but it became almost too overwhelming to consider that each thought had an impact, and I actually started to worry about that! I was still a worrisome thinker and I had the desire to let that go, but I did not necessarily know how to retrain my thinking and it actually made me worry even more. It became clear I needed a game plan!
Giving up any habit takes two things, patience and discipline. I had neither. Worry and fear go hand in hand with impatience (it's all a lack of faith) and I had little to no discipline with my thinking. I started with the discipline aspect first and found some tips and tools I could use to retrain my brain; increased patience ended up being a result of the discipline I created. My mind makeover began with several ways I could immediately turn my thinking around when negativity, fear or worry creeped in. I still use all of these techniques and concepts today, but I don't need to rely on them as frequently because my thinking patterns have changed.
Here are 5 ways to change fearful and worrisome thinking:
1. Worry = crap
The energy of fear or worry is so low vibrating and serves absolutely no value; it is crap energy. When you think about someone or something, you send them the energy of those thoughts. So, when you think about how much you love your children, you send the highest vibrating energy to them. And when you worry about your children constantly, you send them crap! Visualize that, because it makes an impact on your thinking pattern. Every time you worry, picture yourself handing a pile of CRAP to the person or situation that is the subject of your fear. This visual helps increase your awareness and fosters turning away from negative thinking because it represents something you would never want to give to anyone or anything you like or love.
2. Flip the coin
Our thoughts can be 100% our choice. Let that sink in. We can choose what we think every second of every day. You do not have to worry about the people you love (insert crap emoji), you can choose the opposite. You don't have to be afraid of what may or may not happen in any given situation, you can choose the opposite. Every thought has two sides, a positive and a negative. Worrying gives voice to what we don't want, instead you can choose to give voice to what you do want. When a fearful thought creeps in, flip the coin and restate the thought; using the visual of a coin flip helps to train your brain (this is my personal favorite because it's so easy to flip and choose the positive).
3. Painting a picture
Our life is created by our beliefs, thoughts, choices and energy vibration. All of these combine to paint the picture of our reality. We choose what appears in that picture in particular with our thinking. Do you really want your picture to look like the fears you think about? Remembering this helps to focus on what you truly want to see, not what you don't. Whenever I'm stumped about what I want to truly paint, as opposed to a worry I'm having, I just picture the beach; it's my go to happy place. Pick your happy place and paint that to replace any fear, it immediately turns your thinking around to something positive.
4. Talk your way out of it
worrying gives voice to your fears; it's like you are telling the universe to literally create what you do not want to happen. People often innocently worry because they think about what they do not want as a strange way to protect what they really do want; it's an odd way of setting an intention and it never works. When you worry about something, your brain is showing you what you don't want and you can reset your thinking with this statement "thanks for showing me what I don't want here's what I do want (state positive intention). This is incredibly useful when during times of great change; I used a lot while moving a few years back. If you cannot think of what you truly want in that moment, have some go to,intentions like "safety" or "peace" or "balance".
5. Make it visible
I'm a huge believer in Vision Boards; I have dozens. They have been incredibly valuable for changing my thinking and keeping my focused on my intentions. It's great to have a (or a few) physical vision board and I find categorizing them helps; for instance, my family has one just for travel and vacations. Pinterest is also an awesome tool for virtual vision boards that you can create by subject; one of my favorites is uplifting words. Surrounding yourself positive visual representations and words that reflect what you truly want to create and have in your life is powerful because you become what you repeatedly do and see. Vision boards help your brain passively focus on your desires and not your fears. Oh and my vacation vision board has currently helped me manifest about a dozen amazing adventures (and even an RV at one point).
Your thinking is far more important than you may realize. Our thoughts have and emit energy, and humanity truly needs a lot more collective positive energy right now. Years later, I now realize that a single worrisome thought can begin to unravel your dreams and peace almost instantly. Changing your thinking to positivity, even if it's by force at times, is absolutely one of the most important things you can do for your health, happiness, loved ones and the world.