Personal Development

5 Things To Remember When You Can't Let Go Of The Past

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We just can't let go. No matter how hard we try, we no matter how much we say we are through with whatever crap we claim to be through with, we still can't let go. We've kicked our problems to the curb, and took back our lives and our power, but still, the past creeps up on us and torments us.   When will it ever leave us be? There are certain things to always keep in mind when this happens.

They say to forgive and forget. Easy to say, not so easy to do. Sometimes the forgiving comes pretty easy. It's the forgetting that some of us tend to find a wee bit more difficult. Or is it vice versa. Whatever the case may be, both take effort.   Even with all the effort we put into that, we still remember the shitty times. Let's look at a few things to keep in mind when the past creeps up on you.

past21. It's out of your control.

Whatever happened happened and it's officially done and over with. It doesn't serve any purpose in your world today and the only thing it does is cause anxiety and frustration. Both of what you don't need. Try to focus on the things of today that you can control and that make you happy. Think more of those things.

2. You're a different person.

Whatever happened yesterday helped to mold you into the person you are today. You have grown from it, become stronger and probably even wiser. Thank the past for the lessons and move on with your future. If that shit thing didn't happen to you imagine how different life would be today. You'd be the same naïve person with people trampling all over you. Not so anymore. You're smarter than that now thanx to this one lesson. You are so much brighter and so is your life.

3. You learn something new about them.

The person in question used to be a friend. You loved them and thought the world of them. They turned out to be not so nice and pretty mean in fact. Good thing you found all this out now and not much further down the road. It could have ended up a lot worse than it did. Be thankful you caught on early. Ok so they hurt you. Let it go. You are a much better person than they are and you are far better off without them too.

4. That was then, this is now.

Look at how much better your life is now. You have been dragged through the mud and have come out smiling. Good for you. Many people have a really hard time getting over difficult periods in their life. You have gone through and triumphed. Not them, you. Look at yourself today and give yourself a pat on the back or take yourself out for a treat next time a shitty memory comes up. You are a victor. Way to go.

5. Respect is beautiful.

After all is said and done, you came out with your head held high and not only tons of self respect but respect from others as well. You are no longer grudging over the past, though a memory does creep in every now and then, but you are walking tall with your shoulders back and head high. You did it. Next time you have a horrible thought about the past remember your self respect and how far you've come. You're awesome.

We all learn a lot from our past. It will come back every now and again to taunt you but laugh at it, shrug it off and remind your past that you are the boss now and you are in control of your life. Not the past. Not anymore.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.