Personal Development

5 Bold Ways to Show Middle Finger to Your Fear

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Do you know  the unpleasant fear mixed with anxiety and uncertainty  that always destroys your plans before a big decision?

Or why are there people with great ideas  full of doubts?

First of all, we should find out why we have fear.

Fear is a biological thing.  Even in the prehistoric times, we were afraid of being eaten.

Nowadays it's nothing, but only an ego-driven thing. It's our choice to feel fear.

But  we can't fully get rid of fear. At least, not immediately.

So, how can we overcome a fear of big changes?

Young man is displaying an obscene gesture

Young man is displaying an obscene gesture

1. Failures? Don't give a damn

People fear that they'll be judged by others or even by themselves when they fail.

When we see a potential threat of failure, we get scared and choose a more comfortable and safer option "“ flight.

And this fear unconsciously tells us:  "There's a potential risk of failure out there, you'd better draw back and run away."

We always can choose a fight or flight.

I remember that I wanted to start HIIT again after a couple of months.  But I couldn't force myself and procrastinated.

Later, I realized it was a fear. But not fear of running.

It was the fear that I won't be able to run as much as I could before the break.

I was afraid that I would disappoint myself. But in the end, I told myself that I wouldn't give a damn and would try it anyway.

Although my performance was weaker, you know what? I didn't feel that bad and didn't give a damn.

Don't be afraid of a potential failure.

Remind yourself of biggest failure in life.  Is it still bothering you? Maybe yes, if it happened last week.

But if it happened a few years ago or even just months? Probably not.

And do you think it was a mistake? Is your current life worse because of the failure?

If so, then start thinking of your negative experiences more positively and learn from them.

What are the gains? Maybe you got to know new amazing people or found a new strategy for your business.

Until you leave your comfort zone, you will never experience the real magic of the world that's out there.
You won't experience that  joy, happiness, and positiveness.

When you leave your comfort zone and take on challenges, the magic happens, your mind opens to new thoughts  and new opportunities and people come into your life.

2. Don't be selfish and ask for help

Don't be shy

I don't know what kind of trend it is, but our new generation is afraid of asking for help even when they need it.

They try to solve everything on their own. I don't blame them. It's because of society and access to technology that divides us.

It's not a coincidence there are so many books in the motivational literature about how to solve a problem on your own.

Then young future leaders get inspired by quotes like:    "Ignore others and just care about yourself."

That's a wrong mindset.

Yeah, if we want to help others, first we have to solve our own problems and start taking care of ourselves.

But fear is better to overcome with someone who supports and inspires you.

Put down your ego

Ego is another thing that prevents young people from asking for help.

They fear they will be judged negatively by others. Or people will think they're dumb and annoying.

It's better to give away a part of your ego and value to gain much more afterward.

Don't be afraid of starting a conversation, approaching people or asking for help.

You must be  the initiator.

Because if you try to deal with every problem on your own, you'll later find out that  you're alone, without others' support.

And then you're depressed because no one cares about you. Just because people think that  you don't need their help.

3. Authenticity always wins

Don't fool yourself and pretend someone or something else.

Be truly authentic toward your thoughts, intentions, and goals.

If you're hiding behind something or someone else, other people will pretty quickly figure it out and think:  "This person has bad intentions. Something is wrong with them. I can't believe them, I better stay away."

I was also  a victim of affectation.

I often meet new people. Whether it's on the networking events or events where approaching people isn't typical.

I usually masked my intention of getting to know people with an awkward question about their opinion. Or I asked a question I know they wouldn't be able to answer.

I wasn't authentic toward my intentions.

So I gave up on the networking and approaching people because I felt that it wasn't me. I felt fearful because it was isolating me from my values.

If you're authentic toward your intentions, you'll overcome fear easier.

Truth prevails.

4. Focus on your fear

I don't want you being stuck in the train of fearful thoughts.

I mean you should  fully pay your attention to overcome fear  particularly when you face it.

Do not give a damn about your  breakup or a negative thing  that your best friend told you.

Be present in the moment and pay attention to your plan on overcoming fear.

Don't let other things make you distracted. Whether it's social media or your negative memories, but also the positive ones.

You have 2 choices

I know, it can be tough, especially when something big came into your life.

But you have only two options. Don't be afraid, both are right.

You can either  face your fear and pay more attention to your action-plan.  Or you can  overcome your fear later.

You have no responsibility to pay such a big amount of mental energy when you feel under the weather.

You should better have a conversation with friends or try a different way to improve your mood.

If you feel bad, first pay attention to your close friends and people you love.
Then you can take on challenges or risks.

5. Show middle finger to your fear and start acting

You can know every strategy, every shortcut for overcoming fear.

But without actions, reading books and articles(included this one) it's a waste of time.

Even the more you read and procrastinate your fight with because of fear, the worse it'll be.

The articles like this one give you some tips and tricks.

But without  your will, inner motivation, authentic intentions, and actions,  reading personal development is a waste of time for you, but also for me.

You'll be frustrated  because you didn't move forward in life and overcome fear.

And I'll be disappointed  because I couldn't inspire you to take an action and help you.

Thus, let's make a deal. I want you to, at least, try to face your fear.


If you're interested in more tips on how to overcome fear, then you might want to download my free report through the link in the byline.

I should admit I still have some fears I must overcome. And everyone will always feel fearful particularly if they want to experience new things in life.

But  even if it seems pretty easy for others, you know what?

For you it's risk and challenge you must take on.

In the end, your mind seizes new opportunities and opens to  new thoughts, and new ideas.

And when the mind opens to new opportunities, thoughts and ideas, you'll experience what we call "“  The Inspired Life.

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About the author

Tony Paluš

Tony is a blogger that is passionate about personal development. He helps people find inspiration, joy and fulfillment in their life. You can download his free fear report to learn 10 bold strategies.