Personal Development

3 Reasons Why It’s Okay to Let People Go

Krishan Kalpoe
Written by Krishan Kalpoe

Yes you read it correctly; it’s okay to lose people in your life. Many people however, think the opposite. When a relationship is about to end between us and someone we care about, we often make an attempt to do everything we can to make sure that person will stay in our lives. It may be our partner, a good friend, a family member or whoever we feel close connected with.

Although it’s a noble action to fight for someone, it isn’t always the best thing for us to do. When we fight for someone to keep them part of our lives we often think with our hearts instead of our brains. We react based on our emotions and that often leads to neglecting the reasons on why it’s perhaps necessary to let go of these people. There are good reasons on why we shouldn’t feel bad to cut ties with some people. Let’s take a look at them.

let_go_of_attachments1. You’re evolving

When you become older and more experienced in life you’ll start to think differently. These experiences shape you and most likely you’ll start to look at things through a different way. You’re growing through life and your standards are rising. This is a good thing, however, for some people that have known you for a while like your close friends and family members this “˜sudden change’ might seem like a shock. They have always remembered you as the person they knew from so many years ago, and to see you change like that might scare them. They might blame you for being a totally different person and that they don’t know you anymore. In other words, they want to make you feel guilty just because you progressed in life. These people do the exact opposite of encouraging your growth; they’re trying to make you stay at the same “˜level’ for your whole life. You don’t need these types of people in your life. You shouldn’t be around people that make you feel guilty for evolving into a better person that wants more out of life than 10 years ago.

2. Respect yourself enough

Some people in your life will do anything to get what they want without caring how it will affect you. These types of people are the best example of the so-called “˜takers’ in life. They act like they care about you, but that’s only because they need you. They pretend that they will be there for you when you need something, but when you need them they’re nowhere to find, except for their excuses. All they do is take in the relationship, but they never give back something of value to you. Sometimes enough is enough. You must set boundaries for yourself on how far you’re willing to go for someone. You need to let people know that you are not the type of person to be played with. Respect yourself enough to only allow people in your life that will return the same “˜amount’ of love that you’re giving them. These types of people genuinely want the best for you and are there for you no matter the situation.

3. Sometimes things just don’t work out

You’ve probably heard before that you shouldn’t try to force things that have to happen naturally. Well, the same thing applies to your relationships with your friends, acquaintances and even your family members. When you still fail to build some “˜sort of a relationship’ with someone even after you tried a couple of times then perhaps it’s better for your own well-being to accept the situation for what it is. Sometimes it’s more painful to hold on to something that isn’t there (anymore) than the pain of letting go. You can’t have a good relationship with everyone in your life that you’ll ever meet and that’s okay.   Some people only come into your life to teach you the lessons you need to learn at that moment in your life. Accepting this will save you a lot of energy, time and pain in the long run.

It’s often a very good thing to fight for someone to keep them in your life. It shows that you’re not the type of person that easily gives up on the people that you care about. However, you need to consider your own well-being first. If the relationship is toxic and doesn’t add any positive value to your life then perhaps your life might be better without that person. Take care of yourself first, because in the end you are your longest commitment.

About the author

Krishan Kalpoe

Krishan Kalpoe

Krishan Kalpoe is the founder of Shrinksdom & an aspiring psychologist who has a passion for personal development and wants to share his knowledge with the world for the purpose of making people's lives better.