Twitter Made me an Extroverted Introvert



About Steven Aitchison

I am the creator of Change Your Thoughts (CYT) blog and love writing and speaking about personal development, it truly is my passion. There are over 500 articles on this site from myself and some great guest posters.
If you want to learn more about my products you can check out Steven Aitchison's Products or check out my books and Kindle books on Amazon

The internet has opened up so many doors in our lives and changed so many people.  But, one group of individuals in particular have welcomed the internet, and social culture it has spawned, with open arms:

The introverts.

The Introverts

Introverted people typically shy away from social occasions and derive their energy and their creativity from introspection and by deriving pleasure from solitary activities such as reading, writing, drawing, travelling, and computing.  They are often less outspoken than the extroverts, therefore not heard as much.

It’s this group of people I belong to and I have found more and more bloggers, writers and artists who admit to being introverted.  Yet it is often the introverted people on the net who have a lot of success, I am thinking of the likes of Chris Guillebeau and Leo Babauta.

Social rules have changed

With the advent of social media, the rules of social interaction has changed.

In the twitter-less world of the ordinary, social interaction often involves socialising with people we don’t know and maybe don’t even like, making the introvert feel more justified in their decision to be an introvert.  However, with social media: Facebook, Blogging, Twitter etc we can choose who to be social with and who to ignore, it’s much easier to ignore someone online than it is to ignore them in the ordinary world.

Therefore in Twitter City we become who we really are, and because of the size of Twitter City there’s always going to be more people like us, therefore more opportunity to interact with like minded others.

In the ordinary world we can maybe expect to encounter a hundred new faces per week, depending on the job we do, the meetings we attend and the social occasions we attend.  In Twitter City we can encounter a thousand new faces per week.  This means that we have a much better chance of finding someone in our tribe.

The dark side of the avatar

Of course there are dangers lurking behind the avatar of our choosing.  Effectively we can re-invent ourselves online, which can be a good thing, however there’s always the danger of not being our true selves.  When we are not portraying a true representation of ourselves online then we are not only fooling ourselves but fooling our tribe as well, which will eventually come to a sticky end.  And of course there are those who hide behind their avatars  as a way to make more money online, or play other nasty mind games to dupe us for some reason or other.

The teaching of the online world

Anybody who has been online for a while can spot a fake email a mile off (that bloody General from Africa is still writing to me, and the person who keeps wanting me to stash $1,000,000  in my bank account, until they can come to my country is really annoying), they can spot a phishing site with ease, and they can also spot a fake person from a hundred yards.

The internet has taught us to become hyper sensitive around people and our senses have been acutely attuned with bloggers, politicians, writers, speakers who are less than authentic, which can only be a good thing. This has spilled over into the ordinary world and we have become more attuned to others in general. If we are more attuned then we are more socially aware, which helps us in our day to day lives.

Social media has done more for the introvert than anything else in history and has shown us that’s it’s actually okay to be introverted. Introversion doesn’t mean we are anti-social, it just means we are choosy who to be social with and the internet has opened up the doors of finding more people with whom to socialise and spend our time with.

I love the fact that I am, at heart, an introvert, but I also love the fact that I have never been as social in my life due to the likes of Facebook, Twitter and blogging.

I would love your thoughts on this.

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Comments

  1. Hi Steve!

    Wow! I didn’t know Twitter could do that :)

    But now that I think about it, it does make sense. Social media can encourage a person to experiment socially, take risks and interact with others more. It can be a stepping stone in becoming more sociable.

    Next step – I would love to see you on the dance floor ;)

    • Hi Eduard. I social media as a whole has made us more aware of the social side of ourselves and in turn made us more aware of ourselves and the types of people we would like in our lives.

      Me and the dancefloor don’t mix well :)

  2. Sandra Lee says:

    I agree wholeheartedly with your take on this, at least for some segment of introverts. I was so resistant to social media at first, but I find that I enjoy my Twitter friends so much. As you point out – a whole new rich world has opened up to me thanks to Twitter and the internet in general. It’s no longer so easy to label myself as an introvert or not an extrovert.

    I was really surprised to see that you consider Chris Guillebeau and Leo Babauta introverts. I would have assumed them to be extroverts!
    Sandra Lee recently posted..Sunday reflection- the dreamlike qualities of life

    • HI Sandra. I read Chris Guillebeau’s book: The Art of non conformity, and he is a self confessed introvert :) , and Leo, I would say, is an introvert by nature too.

      I think as we immerse ourselves into the social media world we become more social in the ordinary world, it seems to have had a knock on effect, at least for me, and by the sound of it you as well. I think this can be a good thing, so you are right it’s hard to label ourselves as introverted or extroverted.

  3. Lyman Reed says:

    Thanks for writing this, Steve. I’ve always been an introvert, and *used to* think that there was something wrong with that. Now I know that it’s an awesome thing to be, and online media has given my the opportunity to really be myself. Which, interestingly enough, has translated itself out into meatspace, where I find myself at ease more and more in social situations, mostly because I’m OK with being me.

    Thanks again.
    Lyman Reed recently posted..Blowing Up The Cul-De-Sac- A Riff on Seth Godin’s “The Dip”

  4. Hi Steve! This article really resonated with me. Great perspective on how social media affects different personality types.

    With social media we can now interact with way more people than before without leaving our desks, which introverts love. We can reach people from across the globe without needing an ice breaker conversation or needing to know witty opening lines. That is heaven for an introvert.

    Once you twitter follow or facebook accept someone into your network, the connection has already been formed without the need for much introduction. For introverts, this is great since they can now be as popular as their extrovert counterparts are in the 3D world.

    I find social network engaging because I was able to connect with people that I had lost contact with and with people that I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet under normal circumstances. The down side is that I’ve noticed that now I’m starting to spend way more time with virtual friends than with flesh and blood friends. This may be a good point for a new post. :)

    Loving blessings!
    Andrea DeBell – britetalk recently posted..Three Ways to Leave Your Mark in this World

    • Hi Andrea.

      You’re totally right about spending more time online than in the ordinary world. For me, spending time online with friends is just as rewarding as spending time in the ordinary world, although you can’t have a game of squash or go for a drink with online friends :) So it has it’s drawbacks.

      I think getting the balance right should be looked at when we become more comfortable with ourselves, as Lyman says in his comment.

      Thanks for adding to the conversation Andrea, always appreciated.

  5. YES! I totally agree! I have always enjoyed being alone and I always felt guilty when I didn’t want to go out all the time. It took me a long time to realize that it doesn’t mean I’m antisocial, I just don’t need to be social all the time. I love being alone. I need to be alone to recharge!

    I think that is the #1 reason I have loved the internet since the day I signed on. I am basically alone in my house, but there is someone always there to talk to if I feel the need.

    And it is through the friendships and networking that I have done online that I have become more comfortable in social situations. And I think that there are a lot more introverts out there except we have always been at home so we didn’t meet. LOL! Now we meet online, gather for a conference and then go back to being at home. Perfect for me!
    Michele McGraw recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- This is Why I Love Living Here

    • Hi Michele, thanks for leaving a comment.

      I’m hearing a lot of people saying that they have become more social in the ordinary world as a direct result of being social online. I also love the fact that I can go online anytime during the day and there’s always someone there to talk to, if needed.

  6. Lori says:

    Hi Steven,
    Okay, this is interesting: I stopped by your blog from a comment you made to me over at Twitter. How cool is this to read about this when I landed! I love the synchronicity.
    I have always been social, but I agree with you that with this age of social media, I am definitely more aware and as you say, “attuned.”
    Thanks for your positive presence in the internet, and also for linking me as a “blogger to watch” so long ago. I’ll never forget it! I hope all has been well your way.
    Sending you billowing clouds and beams of sunshine!
    ~xo
    Lori recently posted..Be a Storyteller Shaman Start a Ripple

  7. Hi Steve, yes I wonder what Carl Jung would have made of it all. Some things I believe I have learned about myself in over three years of blogging etc is that a) I’m not as smart as I thought I was, b) I’m not as interesting as I expected to be! c) I’m not as funny as I thought I was d) I’m not as influential as I hoped to be.

    What does this mean to me I wonder? I think the extrovert in me has learned a little humility through social media and consequently I’ve perhaps headed in the direction of introversion? or maybe I should read that as introspection.

    NTU psychology prof Mark Griffiths writes about the social media space being dis-inhibiting, so in my writing of this comment I have suddenly realised that I’m being extrovert after all in sharing these thoughts! Which seems suggest that we don’t have an either/or we have a both/and so I am probably being introverted in my extroversion and vice versa.
    Reasonable Robinson recently posted..Ricky Hatton Floored Diamond

  8. Baz says:

    I also agree. Case in point: I’m off all week from my day job and I’m a block from a sunny California beach. How have I spend this week thus far? Inside in front of my laptop working on my blogs (OK, I do get out to walk the dog twice a day…) ;-) . The Internet as a whole has allowed introverts like me, and a millions of others, to find their online identities without having to resort to pretense. Does this mean that the net will soon be dominated by like-wired individuals? Perhaps not, but we can certainly build an outpost and thrive. :)
    Baz recently posted..Recycle Friday- 3 Posts I Recommend

  9. Allen Loomis says:

    I love your blog, its great! I am a self improvement blogger as well and I was wondering if you would be interested in exchanging links on our blog rolls! Comment back on my blog and let me know :)

    Success Demands Action

  10. Lesley Riley says:

    One thing about being an introvert is that we are usually great listeners. We (I) also like to take a while to think about things before I speak, and therefore, miss the boat in most face-to-face social conversations. So yes, the Internet has provided introverts with a great way to be social on our own, comfortable terms. Thanks for the great post, Steven.

    • Hi Lesley. You’ve brought up a great point that I’ve never really been able to put into words. I take a while to digest what is being said, or rather savour what is being said before I reply, and too often in conversations I have missed the chance.

  11. hasseenah hassan says:

    Hi Steve,
    You’re ‘spot on’ on that. I’ve always been the introvert one in my family. My parents were always encouraging me to open up more and socialise more because they said I’m too reserved and like to keep to myself. I like the way I am. I love my personal space and I do not like people to ‘come too close’ unless I chose to let them. I’ve realised long before that it’s OK to remain as I am. Thank s for reinforcing that it’s cool to be an extrovert introvert.

    Warms Greetings from Sunny Malaysia!

  12. Real gold in this post Steven. I’m certainly part of this tribe of which you speak, the introverts. I’m glad — for one thing, it made it possible for me to meet you.
    It’s a fascinating thought, how the internet allows “introverts’ an opportunity to come out of their shell if they have one and create nourishing and positive connections with others they would otherwise never have met.
    But whether we are “introvert” or “extrovert” one thing is sure. The iron rule that I’m so glad you underlined. Let me be true to myself: and as Shakespeare I think said, it follows I cannot then be false to any man.
    So GOOD to spend this little time with you, Steve. All the very best to you and all your readers from this fellow introvert also bravely voyaging on the ocean of the internet….

    • Hi Chris, I love your comments and the quotes you bring with them as well.

      I would also check out your CommentLuv status as I checked into it for you and it is saying there is some sort of problem.

  13. I definitely have to agree with you. Twitter, as well as Facebook, has helped me to come out of my shell a bit. Even though I’m still not a social butterfly by a lot of people’s standards, I’ve come to truly enjoy making connections in the online world. Now I have a term for it–extroverted introvert. I like that.
    Nea | Self Improvement Saga recently posted..Is Positive Thinking a Waste of Time

  14. Melvin says:

    Hi Steven,

    You now what I haven’t look at this side of social media: a tool for introveted people to be extroverted and more social. I had a profesor at the university that said that internet/technology is like water, you can do good with it but it also have a potential to be destructive. I like technology and social media, it have the potential to give power to people to know people, get knowledge, ear money, influence others ect. But we have to see it as a means and not an end, what ever we get in it we can share and enjoy it more in the real world. I’m agree with your article just want to rise the flag about the potential danger of internet to isolate. Great article and point of view, thanks.
    Melvin recently posted..Impossible is Nothing

    • Hi Melvin. Absolutely! the potential is there to isolate if used in the wrong way or rather if used in an unconscious way. If we are very conscious about ourselves and those around us then it’s okay, but people with personality disorders can become unaware of their social isolation quite quickly.

  15. Neva Flores says:

    I am an extroverted introvert. An internet poet. I find my world full of many people that I have never met face to face. I work outside of the home and keep completely (physically) to myself after work. The internet has opened my eyes in fantastic ways to many people all over the world. I think this place is like anything else in life, there has to be balance and caution.
    Neva Flores recently posted..Sometimes – Sept 21- 2010

  16. Julius says:

    I personally have become more sociable after years of using social media. I guess the social skills I’ve learned online have somehow helped me to be more sociable in the real world.
    Julius recently posted..The Wonder Years- Seminars@Hadley

  17. Alex Yong says:

    I am an introvert and the internet has opened up endless opportunities for me – made my wiser, more knowledgeable (but no doubt not everything on the net are truth), more friends, etc.

    As everything has two sides of the coins, it is sad that there are people who abuse social networking on the internet to cheat and harm others. Like you, that damned “high-ranking African politician” is still pestering me to accept that $1,000,000 from him! For these people, may God bless them.

    Thank you, Steve, for this post now that I know it is ok and normal to be an introvert.
    Alex Yong recently posted..What Is The Meaning Of Life

    • Hi Alex. I am glad you connected with this. There will always be people who abuse anything in life, but the thing is, we are more aware of these types of people and can spot them a mile off.

  18. Hi Steven.

    I’m very hesitant of labelling people … personally I consider myself very introverted, but recognise there are times when I’m not at all.

    I think the nature of the internet, and especially the rise of social media, has given us more choice about how to interact with other people as well as dramatically increasing the number of people we run into. Each social media application is different in some ways from the others and gives different range of people and choices about to interact. I suspect it more suits those who tend towards introversion and so provides a valuable resource to those of us who don’t often enjoy face to face socialising.

    I’d like to add a slight digression though. Less than a third of the world’s population has ever used the internet (if my reading of the stats is correct). Which I find a helpful reminder to myself that to really reach out and meet people requires more than sitting at my computer or Twitting (fortunately I read the comment over again and realised I’d left out the ‘w’ from Twitting. On second thoughts maybe that would be a better word for what most people do on Twitter?) .

    Nice article, Steven and I enjoy the discussion it stimulated.
    Ian | Quantum Learning recently posted..The Art Of Knowing What To Ask For

    • Hi Ian. Being honest, I didn’t think of the people who have no access to the internet. I certainly don’t advocate that we all sit in the house and connect with others, rather see it as a way of becoming more comfortable of who we are. This in turn enable us to reach out to the world more and be less conscious of ourselves when we do have human interaction in the ordinary world.

      I know what you mean about twitter. I’ve recently started to losing all the people who ‘twit’ and only follow those who have something to give to the world, like yourself.

  19. Caroline says:

    Hi Steven,
    Two thoughts …..
    Firstly, there are obviously different levels and depths of introversion. Possibly the most ‘introverted of the introverts’ might use the internet as a substitute for face to face relationships – using it to satisfy any fleeting wishes they may have for human interaction, while thereby becoming even less skilled and practiced at real-life relations and relationships.
    Secondly, for the deepest introverts amongst us (me and who knows how many else), this might enable us to hide in an even deeper place … thanks to our internet connection, there is now absolutely no need to ever risk poking our heads up and exposing ourselves to all that danger.
    You’ve had lots of positive comments on the effect of the internet so far I notice, but maybe these are from the least introverted of your readers – the ‘borderlines’ maybe(!). Possibly the ones for whom the internet isn’t a benefit are just thinking and continuing to hide.
    Many thanks for your blog but I’ve got to dash back to my hiding place.

    • Hi Caroline. Thanks for your comments and making me think about this a little more.

      I think the deepest introverts are deep through choice, if you are truly an introvert then there is no question that you prefer to lead the life of an introvert and are comfortable with that. The introverts I guess I was speaking to are the ones who are naturally introverted but with a longing to be able to connect better in the ordinary world, and it’s these people that the internet is a blessing.

      Your second point about receding to a deeper place of introversion: surely if you were a deep introvert you wouldn’t want yourself known on the net, therefore not interact at all, rather watch the cyber world from a distance. Someone who is a deep introvert and leaves a message on a public forum, I think, is reaching out and forging relationships that might not have been possible in the ordinary world.

  20. Hey Steven,

    Before reading this entry I would have never guessed you were an introvert. Sometimes I forget the power of the internet, and how much it can change us, not just financially but how we interact with people on a daily basis.

    As always, thanks for sharing

    –parker
    Parker Lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..When Should We Cut People From Our Lives

    • Hi Parker, always have been introverted, but have always liked it this way, although there are extroverted tendencies in me when I want to get my message out there.

      I truly believe the internet has revolutionised the world and am glad to be part of it’s history.

  21. rob white says:

    Hi Steven,
    You really summed up beautifully something I had sensed but been able to pinpoint. You articulated this very well. If the internet is helping people express there authentic creative nature more freely … It’s a good thing! As a natural extrovert the social media culture was quite baffling to me for a while. One of the challenges I face to differentiate myself is to be an extroverts extrovert on the internet. This article gives me some clarity on what I’m up to (I am actually working on launching an interesting new ‘extrovert’ project soon.)

  22. Stacy says:

    Steven,

    I really couldn’t agree with you more! As an introvert and a very shy person the internet has really been an answered prayer for me. It has helped me to build social skills that I never learned growing up and I have gained a lot of confidence through my online interactions.

    I used to have very extreme social anxiety (I would literally have a panic attack at the thought of approaching someone that I didn’t know) and I even tried counseling to work through it and that didn’t help. What counseling couldn’t accomplish the internet did! I’m still shy and introverted but not filled with anxiety or having any panic attacks.

    This even started before the likes of facebook and twitter when I joined message boards. Facebook though really made a huge difference and it has helped me to build relationships with people who were just acquaintances in the ‘real’ world because FB opened the door for my personality to really shine through. Some people were surprised at what a fun person I really am! I’ll take that as a compliment!
    Stacy recently posted..More Blogs Not to Miss

    • Hi Stacy, this is exactly what I was talking about in the post, about giving people more confidence within themselves to interact in the ordinary world. I love your story of how you have overcome your extreme social anxiety – thank you for sharing it.

  23. Roman Soluk says:

    Twitter is a great thing. I see its huge advantages since the very time I started to use it.
    Roman Soluk recently posted..Diet containing the acai fruit may help with living longer

  24. Noel says:

    wow, i read through the comments and found so many like-minded readers (introvert like me!). As you mentioned, we’re not anti-social. For me, i’m just too shy to social around in reality and it’s undeniable that the social media provides a comfortable way for the introvert to social. What’s even better, my colleague who has depression started to be active on facebook recently, and she gets to ‘connect’ back to her circle after hiding herself for one year. That’s a bless~

  25. Aaron Torng says:

    I couldn’t agree more. I would consider myself an introvert in the ‘real’ world, but in the online space you can be whoever you want to be. The beauty of the internet is that if you make a bad impression with an online stranger, you don’t have to ever talk to them again. You can have this same mentality at a bar, club, library, etc, but I personally feel more ‘safe’ behind my computer.

    Oh and finally, ‘an extroverted introvert’, very catchy :)
    Aaron Torng recently posted..How to Increase Your Blog Traffic

  26. Steve: Interesting post. I think it is so true that Twitter and the blogosphere can open up a whole new world for just about anyone and you are not confined to being or behaving a certain way. The great thing is that you can really be yourself and have great relationships with people you may not have otherwise met. I think it is also great that it opens up a whole new way of communicating for people that are introverts. I can’t say that I am an introvert, but I have always wanted to hear more from people who are introverts. I have always been convinced that introverts have some great thoughts and insights in their minds and you and Leo and Chris only further confirm that reality for me :)

    • Hi Sibyl, thanks for the compliment.

      I think finding your true self by interacting in an authentic way on the net has been a great revelation for many people and it has helped a lot of people know themselves better and become more confident inside. I think when we are comfortable in our skin we are more inclined to be social in the ordinary world.

  27. Steven,

    I guess on internet it does not matter if one is introvert or extrovert, and that is beauty of it, all of us can be equal, behind the scene. I can be extrovert in real life and yet I am not so extrovert when it comes to social media due to lack of time. I love talking and writing, but doing blogging related activities to market my blog, I am behind, maybe on purpose.
    Preeti @ Heart and Mind recently posted..Why learning from history is cool – Part II

  28. I too am an introvert at heart. And it is quite difficult to interact socially with people. However it is a different situation when it comes to the online world. Especially blogging has helped me put forth my ideas and reach out to people who think in a similar way.

    Facebook and orkut have helped me connect and socialize with friends whom I had lost over the years and helped me make new friends some of whom I have not even met except in the online world.

    • Hi Kevin, I have met so many amazing people on the net that I would never have met in the ordinary world. I do tend to let the past stay in the past though and haven’t done the catching up with old friends thing.

  29. Being a relative newbie to the world of Twitter, I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the magical world of the web.

    Thinking of all the people I know socially, you are right, the ones doing well on the web are more introverted. It seems they have a way with their words that they may find difficult in person.

    For me, as an extrovert, the web has opened a whole new world of exciting people to chat to. I love it – the best of both worlds

  30. # “However, with social media: Facebook, Blogging, Twitter etc we can choose who to be social with and who to ignore, it’s much easier to ignore someone online than it is to ignore them in the ordinary world.”

    Hi Steven,

    this is true and it may be beneficial in both directions: ignoring the ones we don’t like and learning, at the same time, how to better interact socially. From this point of view, Twitter is the best tool I have come across.

  31. Steve,

    Yes, yes and y-e-s! Describing yourself as an extroverted introvert is what I would say Twitter has helped turn me into as well (I would add that blogging has done the same).

    People outside of social media and writing for your own blog/website (I think) naturally do not understand this dynamic, and perceive it to be hypocrisy on the part of the “extroverted introvert.”

    I call myself an introvert, because truthfully I am in most social settings. Then the question that arises, “If you are such an introvert, why do you write, Tweet, and Facebook trying to get everyone to listen to you?”

    The truth is that these technological mediums are a perfect compromise for an introvert to express oneself and communicate with a large audience, while remaining true to one’s natural personality.

    All my best,
    Dave

  32. Bill Gassett says:

    There are also extroverts that are starting to become introverts because they have become so addicted to being in front of their computer screen. Social media has changed the way we communicate so much.
    Bill Gassett recently posted..How to Interview a Realtor With Great Questions

  33. selina says:

    hello
    Steve i always like your post . Your every post gives us useful information that can transform our lives. If i talking about myself i am introvert kind of person .
    when i am sitting with my friends then i am always nil contributor in talking . sometimes I felt that might be something wrong with me but now i feel comfortable of myself because now I can join my friends in chat through social media .

  34. Niko says:

    Fun post Steve! It was actually a big thing when I realized the difference between Introversion and Extroversion (the way we recharge our energies). I realized that I’m definitely more of an introvert myself but that just because you’re introverted does not mean you’re unconfident or shy. I’m very social but at the end of the day I enjoy more personal conversations or in smaller groups. If I have too many nights out with a large group of people, I need some “me” time to recharge.

  35. I definitely agree with your take on social media; I have also noticed that sites such as facebook, myspace, myyearbook and so on, have also give many people who aren’t able to get out into the world a little bit of a sense of connection. I myself, am very much an extrovert – and this medium has widened my scope of friendships and business networking even more. It allows me to communicate more quickly with those that aren’t in arms reach. Thank you for this post.

  36. I can so definitely agree with this. I had always considered myself an extrovert as Ican talk to anybody, however, after nearly experiencing a nervous breakdown this summer and then going on medical leave from my job, my therapist pegged me as truly an itnrovert. That being with people continuously exhausts me. On the other hand, I have taken up writing a blog, and become very active on twitter and feel like I am connecting with so many people, yet it does not drain me as being with people in real life does.
    I have not totally become a recluse, I make sure I get out and interact with real people, but I love my online friends!
    Bernice
    http://livingthebalancedlife.com/2010/my-special-season-of-thanksgiving/
    Living the Balanced Life recently posted..My special season of Thanksgiving

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