Did someone cut you off in traffic? Did someone else get your promotion? Did your girlfriend or boyfriend dump you?
And you are angry?
Ok, I got it.
Now what are some options to deal with it effectively.
1. State your emotions. Say out loud. “This situation makes me angry.”
It’s important to validate your feelings because it honors you. It also puts your focus on the situation and does not devalue you as a human being and throw you into a self blame an guilt state. Later in this process we will be exploring your unmet needs which came up from this situation.
“I’m just angry,” my friend said loudly at the women’s meeting. “And I need to get my feelings out or I will stuff them.”
It’s best not to stuff your feelings for they can negatively affect your mood for the day or the week and affect your health in the long run.
2 .Set your intention
An affirmation will work here.
Say out loud, “I can overcome this. I can dump this angry feeling and let this feeling move on.”
Keep repeating it until it sinks into your consciousness.
This affirmation will reinforce your will power, by giving definite instructions to your brain and body about what you want and how you plan on dealing with this anger.
It gets you away from any tendencies to hold onto the injury and becoming a poor me victim.
I was camping one weekend and the lady in the adjoining campsite was upset and calling all her friends to repeat once more the story of what someone had just done to her. Her loud, upset voice was ruining my camping experience as well as that of her family and cementing a “poor me attitude” in her psyche.
3. Calm down your feelings
Breathing calms the body, and focuses it on something besides the anger.
Here is one of my favorites: Inhale for a count of 4, hold for 4, release for 4. Then after several repetitions of this, increase the length of each inhale, each hold and each release.
You can add soothing music to this exercise. It also helps soothe the nerves and the emotions.
4. Emotions are Energy
Emotions are energy – it moves or it doesn’t.
When it moves, you stay healthy and sane. If it doesn’t move, you get unhealthy and a little crazy.
Here we are going to learn a technique to push the negative energy out of us. It’s one of my favorites. Think of energy as water. Think about wet dogs. They shake off water, right? So can you.
Shaking is fun and it feels good. It forces the energy out of your body, especially if you visualize yourself as a wet dog.
Use your imagination. Visualize you are a dog. You are wet and it feels uncomfy. Shake, Shake. Have fun with it. Do it several times, and laugh with it.
5. Add Humor
Add your own humor here. For instances, you could visualize you and a dog shaking off the water together and getting each other wet in the process. Keep laughing.
Or make it cartoony. You throw water at the dog and he throws it back at you. You both shake it off.
Notice how the anger is gone. Wow, it just disappears in the humor. Good job.
6. Now analyze it.
From your new calm, centered state of being, remember that “everything happens for a reason.”
The Universe got your attention with the incident. Let’s explore what it is trying to tell you.
The Universe usually talks to you in pictures, but not always.
When the Universe wanted me to leave Iowa, it yelled “California” in my head every 10 seconds, every day and every night for 1 month. I got the message.
When I tell the Universe I’m upset and need some comforting, I get an image of a pair of cupped hands that are ready to hold something. I image myself being held like a baby chick in
Or I have felt peaceful presence in the room and just absorb it and felt loved in a few minutes.
Another time I asked if a certain person was appropriate in my life and I got a feeling of being hugged. It was so powerful I felt the love just as if the person was there in body hugging me.
When you are ready to analyze the situation, just emotionally detach from it and sit with the situation. It is like watching a TV sitcom. Then ask for the meaning, and listen.
If you are calm, focused and patient, you will get an answer.
The Universe is guiding you toward your best self. Accept it. It makes life’s journey so much easier.