You surely raised a brow upon reading the terms “pickup artists” and “self-improvement” in the same sentence. Don’t those sleazy jerks use routines to pickup easy, manipulable women? I’m sure there are people out there like that, but they are actually a community of guys who want to help others improve themselves to become more attractive to the opposite sex in a very classy, humble type of way. Think self-improvement. What can we learn from these so-called pickup artists?
There is without a doubt a certain sense of charm about someone with more confidence in their own actions and their seemingly optimistic outlook.
To the pickup community, confidence is THE key to becoming better with women. There’s no surprise that the number one advice given there is to work on confidence; reiterating that if you have none then work on faking it.
What part of life doesn’t benefit from confidence? It is easier to get your foot in the door at an interview when they see that you exude confidence in yourself and your abilities. No doubt is it more of an advantage to appear confident on a first date than to be an insecure, needy person.
Then when you look into your social circle, whom do you respect the most? It is most likely the one with confidence, the one who isn’t afraid to lead; it is the alpha male, as the pickup artists call them. Don’t you want to be that person, the leader of the pack?
The community stands by self-improving advices and they do not just teach cheap tricks to men who want to sleep around. They teach the average male to become a better person and how to become confident. In fact, their advice is sometimes so universal that there are many women in these communities who read them just to learn. They aren’t disgusted by the audacity of these men because it is just a giant self-improvement group with a negative reputation they don’t deserve.
Since confidence is such a huge part of improving as an individual, how can we learn from the pickup artists themselves?
Fake it until you make it
One of the first methods they teach is to “fake it until you make it”, believing that the more you fake it, the more you begin to internalize this new-found confidence. You see, this is the way they argue it works.
You are normally not a very confident guy, so you are used to a certain way of being treated. So once you begin to fake being confident, you get an understanding of how it feels. In addition to that, you start to notice people treat you differently, people look at you more, and all of a sudden, people are more sociable! What does this do for you? It makes you start to feel actually confident because all of a sudden, you’re being treated so well!
Let’s take a look at it again. You fake confidence so people start giving you more respect, which gives you actual confidence in yourself because you are no longer second-guessing. Round and round it goes.
Hit the gym
The second thing they teach provides more tangible results you can see in yourself physically; this of course, means joining a gym and putting on some muscle. What better way to feel confident than to genuinely see yourself as a stronger guy who isn’t so weak anymore? It’s beautiful to be able to see the before and after and just know that you’ve changed for the better. Women will notice you a lot more and it doesn’t involve having to talk to anyone just yet.
It gives you that extra edge over other guys who don’t work out, and truthfully, we live in a very physical world. Whether or not you want to admit it, people who are better looking tend to get what they want more. You may as well use this to your advantage and get a confidence boost.
Start dressing better
You don’t have to dress as smooth as James Bond, nor would you want to. You want to dress to fit the occasion, but try to wear clothes that work better for you in terms of fit and style. If you’re wearing loose t-shirts three sizes too large and jeans that can fit two of you, then you’re doing it wrong. Read up on basic fashion tips; it will make you feel better, look better, and be treated better. It also comes with an extra dosage of confidence.
Personally, I am a huge advocate of quality over quantity. Don’t reach for those packs that promise five t-shirts for $15 because they won’t last you very long.
Practice and improve your social skills
Improving your social skills is a huge cornerstone to pickup artists as well. They tell you to practice getting comfortable with starting conversations with anyone, regardless of gender. Actively listen and engage those you talk to; come up with great stories to make them laugh. All of this ties into picking up women and it makes you a more sociable person.
If you want to get over your fear of striking up conversation with people you don’t know, start off with something simple. Go up to that friendly, approachable looking person you see and just ask for the time, maybe even asking for directions if you feel like extending the conversation. Once you feel comfortable enough, go ahead and spontaneously initiate legitimate conversation. Just have fun with it because you most likely won’t see these strangers again.
So don’t think that simply because they have a negative reputation they don’t have tons of self-improvement worthy advice. I find them to be very philosophical in their ways of thinking and they dissect what it means to be an attractive individual.
There you have it, a more positive look on the world of pickup artists and how us normal folks can learn from them. Remember, they aren’t just trying to pick up women; they’re trying to change their lives. Don’t forget to comment below and share your thoughts on learning self-improvement from pickup artists. Perhaps there still is something morally off about it to you? Either way it’d be great to hear and get a conversation going!