Do you struggle with feeling bored with your life? Is it difficult for you to wake up and greet the day with enthusiasm?
Being bored with your life is a sign that something needs to change – and it can be a precursor to depression if you don’t take control.
While it has the potential to be a serious problem, the solution is simpler than you’d expect. In short, it’s because you’re living a life that doesn’t match your mental “blueprint” of how you believe your life should go. Even worse, it isn’t fulfilling some of your very basic human needs, which are in unique proportions for each of us.
This often begins with the career that we have. Many of us choose career paths out of a place of panic to choose what’s convenient, widely available, or just what is known to make good money. Others choose careers out of an obligation to please their family, by impressing them or even just carrying on a tradition.
Sometimes, we see people who get “addicted” to a certain feeling. It’s something they’ve felt for so long that it’s become easier to fall into than any other feeling. Yes, it’s true – you can be addicted to being bored!
It reaches the point where being genuinely excited and doing something like bursting out into song or dance seems ridiculous and out of the question.
Just because you feel this way most of the time doesn’t mean you always feel this way, I’m sure.
Think about activities, people, and environments that make you feel better. These are the things that fulfill your emotional needs.
What is it about that activity that you enjoy?
Is it a mentally stimulating challenge, which makes you feel proud when you overcome it? Is it an escape from the real world?
What is it about that person that you love?
Do they make you feel important? Is it that they help you cut loose and have fun? Can you experience or learn new things through them?
What is it about that environment that you like?
Is it calming? Do you feel more in control?
When you find all of the reasons these things make you feel better, you need to find a way to fulfill those emotional needs more often.
What are other ways you could feel important or significant? How could you cut loose and have fun without someone else’s help? What can you do to restore a sense of control or calm in your life? And so on.
Another important aspect is to take a look at is your core values. One of the fastest ways to become dissatisfied with life is to neglect these values. Core values are fundamental beliefs that guide the choices you make in life – or cause you distress when they aren’t honored.
If you value contribution, you might find that you invest more time into others than yourself. You’re likely to settle into a career that you feel gives to the world in some way.
However, if the way that your life is designed does not permit you to nurture this value, you won’t be satisfied.
The interesting thing about contribution in particular is that it is both a value a human need. Contribution can be both important to you as a member of society, as well as necessary to make you happy.
If you’re not sure what your core values are, take a look at significant moments in your past.
Moments where you were either deeply upset or angry, and moments where you felt happiest.
What values were either being neglected most when you were upset? Which were nurtured during the joyful times? What feeling seems to be a “MUST” in your life, in order for you to be truly fulfilled? Lists of example core values are also available through Google.
Our career takes up a significant amount of our time, so that makes it something that deserves a closer look. What values and emotional needs does your career fulfill? If it fulfills some but not others, you may need to reconsider your career.
If you’re an entrepreneur, take a look at your business model and whether or not it takes your needs and values into consideration as much as your income. When you have the time, you can also seek fulfillment outside of work.
What needs and values are you fulfilling now with your life as it is? This is a good starting place, so that you can see what doesn’t need to change, and recognize what to be grateful for. From here, you can begin building the rest of your life around them. Enjoy your soul-searching journey!