Personal Development

What To Do When They Don't Love You Back

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You have watched them from afar for quite some time now. You hang on every word they say. You get butterflies in your tummy when you see them. Your heart skips beats, you may even have a little dance in your step. All this love and so much emotion. How you wish they would show some sign of having the same feelings for you but you know they don't and they may never.

It might even be that they hardly even notice you or have any idea that you feel the way you do. Even if they did, you are sure that it won't b e returned, the affection and love you feel for them is one sided. Always has been, always will be. No matter how much you have tried to get this person to love you back, it just isn't happening and chances are, it probably never will.

love_notSo what do we do when we are in this situation? Here are a few tips and a few things for you to think about before you go throwing yourself at them and embarrassing yourself.

1. Question your love.

What is it about this person that you love so much that even them not loving you back doesn't make you stop and turn around? Why do you love them so much? Is there something within you that is missing? Perhaps they remind you of someone from long ago.   It might not be them you love but the idea of them reminding you of someone else. Imagine how you would feel if you didn't love this person and what your life would be like.

2. This is one sided and empty.

If you continue from #1 and imagine your life without them or the love you feel for them, it is possible that you might be blocking a real and true love from coming in to your life. Why would you want to give all your love to someone who will never return it? Your love is a beautiful love and it should be given to someone who respects it and can return it.

3. Spend time with you.

Honour and nurture yourself. Learn more about who you are and what there is to love about you (which is everything by the way). Be alone, be with friends who love you, spend time with family who adore you. The more time you spend away from this person who doesn't love you back and the more time you spend with those who love you very much, you will see that you are deserving of a true and mutual love.

4. Talk to a friend.

Sometimes our friends see things in us that we don't. Maybe you are lacking in the self love department and your friend can help you elevate it or at least help you to see why you should be loving yourself more and not some person who doesn't even know you exist. Many times we love desperately because we are lacking self love. Once you have self love in place, your views on love will change and you will see your true worth.

5. Distractions.

Find something to do, places to go, different people to be around. If this person happens to work at the same place as you keep away from them as much as you possibly can, though sometimes this isn't possible at all. If that's the case, then you need to kick your self love discovery journey into high gear so you can revert your attention to you, not them. Stop going to places you know they will be and try new places to hang out at. You may even meet the person of your dreams at this new locale.

Loving someone who doesn't love you back is very frustrating and heart breaking but remember and know that you are deserving of a true and mutual love. Don't waste it on someone who doesn't see your worth.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.