Personal Development

9 Signs You Aren't Loving Yourself As Much As You Should

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Self love. So hard to have and do but so important. More important, actually, than having someone else love you. In fact, self love is so darn important that if you don't have it, you will never reach a state of happiness and you will not receive the love you deserve.

Many of us are in loving committed relationships yet still feel that there is a part of love that is missing. That's the part in you. You need to have complete self love before you can expect anyone else to love you 100%. Here are some signs that maybe your self love is slipping a bit and it may be time to get it back.

loving_21. You say yes when you mean no.

Don't be afraid to say no. So many of us just say yes in order to please everyone else. You may be pleasing others but are you pleasing yourself? Remember you are number 1. Learn to say no more often. Practice in the mirror if you have to. Saying no isn't easy. Do it anyway.

2. Treat yourself too.

You spend lots of time treating other people to things but what about you? When was the last time you rewarded yourself with something you really love to do independent of doing for others? Take yourself to the movies or maybe for a nice massage. How about dinner at your favourite restaurant that you rarely go to. Treat yourself, you are important and you deserve it.

3. It's ok to make mistakes.

Don't be too hard on yourself when you do. We are all learning and growing, developing and experiencing. Instead of looking at things as mistakes and getting angry at yourself for it, why not look at it as something you attempted, it didn't work, and you will try something new tomorrow. At least you tried. Most don't even do that. Kudos to you.

4. Where's your voice?

Speak up if you don't like something or if you have a valuable opinion or point to share with others. You and your voice matter just as much as anyone else's. I believe some of us don't speak up for fear of being ridiculed or made to look dumb. You're not dumb. You're smart and you matter. Speak up.

5. Take back your life.

If you are letting someone else control your life and tell you what you can and can't do, then you are not loving or valuing yourself hardly enough. No one has the right to treat you like that. You should be allowed to live your life the way you want, not dictated. Take back your personal power and love yourself enough to live freely and happily.

6. Get healthy.

Are you nourishing your body properly with good food and exercise? Our bodies are our temples. Everything we do or don't do either fuels us or slows us down. When we respect our temples inside and out, we have more confidence and appreciation of our selves. Get out and walk, do mini workouts at home, eat more fruits and veggies, stay away from boxed crap. Love yourself completely.

7. Too stressed out.

Practice mindfulness as it is essential to loving yourself. Take time each day, even if it can only be 5 minutes, and just sit and quiet in the here and now. You can make it a little gratitude break (of course being grateful for yourself) or just have a moment in which you appreciate some peace. Let go of all that is stressing you.

8. Watch your self talk.

Do you find yourself calling you names? Tell yourself you're too fat or skinny or old or wrinkly or any of that? Tell yourself that was stupid or you can't do something? Start telling yourself how amazing and awesome and brilliant you are and you can do anything. Wake up each morning and say I love you, to you.

9. Stop neglecting yourself.

Your roots need colouring, your nails manicured, your house needs to be cleaned, your car, whatever. You get it. Take care of you and your things. You spend so much time catering to others you've forgotten about you. Don't do that. Your diet, your exercise routine, your household chores and your alone time, it's all important. It's ok to put yourself first sometimes.

We spend so much time trying to please others, work too many hours, take care of everybody and we neglect ourselves and loving ourselves. We are tired and end up with low energy and low self esteem and low self love. If you are looking for love, you will only attract the wrong kind of you don't love yourself first. Don't expect anyone to come and fix you. You need to do that for you.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.