Personal Development

5 Things You Must Tell Yourself When You're Being Judged

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Judgement. We all have experienced it at one point in our lives and quite possibly we are still guilty of judging others. It's so easy to do. For some it almost comes naturally. Your neighbour John had a bad experience with the new family that moved in a month ago and before you even meet them, you have already judged them based on John's experience. Yes, we all do that. It's difficult not to. If you've ever heard of the test where someone tells you to not see a blue elephant, don't think about a blue elephant, there is no blue elephant, but you can't help but see the blue elephant. It's already been ingrained in your mind. Judging people is a lot like that. People tell you something bad about someone and you already have a vision of that person being exactly as that person told you.

So how do we stop judging? What does it take for us to not judge? A lot of mind over matter, really. And what about when we get judged? We truly dislike that feeling. We know we are being judged. We all are. All around the world, we are all being judged. So how do we not let this bother us? How can we let these opinions of others not get to us?

judgedStay true to you.

You know who you are and what you're all about. You know the truth about what happened or your situation. That's all that should ever matter. People, as you know, form their own opinions and there is little we can do about it. Know who you are and embrace you and the truth. Eventually the truth comes out. It may not happen overnight but you will see, in time, people will figure it out.

Don't waste your energy.

We all want people to know the honest to God truth about us. We don't want them to dislike us for false reasons. We want to try to convince them of the truth and we really want them to believe us. Don't waste your time or energy. As people form their own opinion, they will do so on their own time and own terms. Nothing you say will change their mind. If they really want to get to know the real you, they will take the time, otherwise, leave it be.

Look at the source.

Sometimes the people who are judging us, really aren't worth our time or energy anyway. They are angry, hurtful and hateful people. They always have been, always will be. Nothing you can do will change that. Their words often fall on deaf ears. Nobody listens to their crap as they already have a history of talking nonsense about others. Let it go. Their words mean nothing.

Is it a reflection.

We are a reflection of others meaning, often, what we see in others is already inside of us. There might be a time or two when we do get judged and it really strikes a nerve or hits home, really hard. What was it they said that infuriated you so much? Was there a shadow of truth to it anyway? Is there something still buried inside of us that maybe, just maybe, we haven't dealt with yet?

Laugh it off.

Laughing really is always the best medicine. The comment or the judgement was absolutely ridiculous. Who makes this stuff up anyway? Laughing things off takes the edge and stress off of it and makes it into a lighthearted situation that is easier for us to deal with. Many things get resolved better with a positive attitude and laughing then they do with anger and harsh words.   Just tell yourself that was the funniest thing you heard all day and have a good laugh.

In a world and society where we are judged on our clothes, our jobs, our houses and the size of our bank account it's as important as ever to stay true to you, remember who you are, don't forget we all have a story, and always give people a chance. A chance to show you who they are before you take someone else's opinion at face value. You may be shunning someone who could be a good friend.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.