Personal Development

3 Incredible Secrets to Take Control of Your Life and Emotions

Manish Yadav
Written by Manish Yadav

Wouldn’t it be great if you could control the Little Things in Life that Drive You Mad?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could surgically remove all sources of stress from your life RIGHT NOW and derive more pleasure, enjoyment, and relaxation from each day – all without needing to change a thing except your mindset?

Are you frustrated by the way that the little things in life drive you nuts?

If so, don’t be surprised. We in the Western world indubitably have the sort of mindset that provokes us to ‘fix’ whatever is wrong by making changes to the outer world, instead of concentrating on why we’re upset in the first place.

We look for solutions externally – “I’ll be happy and stress-free when I get the pay-rise” – instead of changing our ATTITUDE and taking control of our lives and emotions.

Sound familiar?

Here’s the GOOD news …

If you can learn how to alter this natural prioritization, you’ll change your whole life around.

You’ll become one of those rare people who are calm, happy, and smiling no matter what.

Yes, this really is possible – and no, you don’t need to do ANYTHING except take a look at how you’re thinking.

Note that this is a ‘how to be happy right now’ article.

It will teach you how to change the way you THINK, by taking control of your life so you can get on with living your life in tandem with HAPPINESS RIGHT NOW.

Here’s what to do.

#1. Put a Brake on Your Aggressive Behavior.

YOU OR MR – almost certainly have an issue with aggression on some level.

How can I make such a sweeping statement with such equanimity?

Easy: because aggression is a natural byproduct of STRESS.

And who here doesn’t have a stressful lifestyle?

Let’s face it: being an uptight, tense, aggressive person does nobody any favors – least of all yourself.

But with our modern, stressful lifestyles, such a mindset is practically unavoidable.

Matter of fact, it’s even PREDICTABLE!

Believe it or not, most people with aggression problems justify their behavior (and the damage it causes to their quality of life) by telling themselves that it’s a NATURAL part of life.

We rationalize our aggressive tendencies, clenched jaws, clenched fists, by saying things like, ‘I’m just blowing off steam’ and ‘it’s not good to keep everything bottled up.’

It’s almost as if we think we’re doing ourselves a favor by getting rid of these toxic emotions.

But the truth is, these sorts of phrases are actually extremely misleading! Think of all the damage you do to your mood, your day, your relationships, your commute home from work, your physical and emotional wellbeing, when you ‘give in’ to the ‘natural urge’ to blow off steam.

FACT: True, it’s not good to keep things bottled up.

But the solution is to remove the rage in the first place, not let it shoot out of you like an outburst of toxic lava whenever you feel the need!

Here’s What You Can Do About It

Here’s the solution to the problem:

Practice focusing ON THE MOMENT.

Instead of getting all bent out of shape about the fact that the stressful situation exists in the first place, ask yourself this question:

“Since this situation already exists, and I’m stuck in it, what can I do right now to improve the situation for myself?”

For example: let’s say you’re stuck in gridlock. You, like everyone else on the planet, hate being stuck in gridlock. But there’s nothing you can do about it: the gridlock exists, and you are in it.

Instead of getting STRESSED about this fact, and setting your aggro levels simmering along, ask yourself what you can do to improve the situation AS IT IS RIGHT NOW.

For example, perhaps you have an extraordinarily busy life where you rarely get time to yourself. Perhaps driving – and even being stuck in gridlock – actually gives you a rare chance to be alone, marshal your thoughts, plan for coming events, … or simply switch off your brain and operate on dreamy autopilot for a while.

Perhaps you could take the opportunity to make calls that need your attention, listen to self-improvement audio tapes, switch on talk-back radio and giggle along with the local shock-jock, practice your deep breathing and affirmations or simply rest, unclench your jaw, and unwind.

If this is something that happens to you a lot, you can even decide to invest in some purchases that will improve the situation long-term: e.g., you could buy a CD of Gregorian chant to help you relax; a headset for your cellphone; a neck-pillow designed for commuters; a thermos that you can bring hot coffee (or warm herbal tea) along with you in.

YOUR QUICK CALL TO ACTION:

To instantly minimize stress levels and their attendant aggressive tendencies, there is no need to uproot your life, change jobs, or take a helicopter to work.
Instead, simply ask yourself this question: ‘How can I improve the situation, as it is right now, for myself?’ then try acting on what you come up with. See what happens.

#2. Your Thoughts Are Just That: Thoughts.

Here’s the major problem with how a typical human brain operates day-to-day:

We all take our thoughts at face value, and react to them as if they are FACTS, rather than THOUGHTS.

And if the thoughts are negative, we INSTANTLY develop negative feelings as a result of that thought.

In fact, it’s impossible to have bad feelings without first having a bad thought!

Most of us just plain don’t realize that the thoughts inside our head can be disregarded and without anything terrible happening at all.

Of course, it doesn’t FEEL that way at first, does it?

Most of us believe that we have bad thoughts ‘for a reason’: as if our brain is trying to alert us to some dangerous sequence of events going on, and we OWE IT to ourselves to pay attention and start dwelling on the matter.

But the truth is, that’s a pile of baloney!

Thoughts are just that: THOUGHTS. They’re not facts. They’re not announcements from some sort of internal barometer. They’re merely a side-effect of being ALIVE.

And it’s our privilege to evaluate our thoughts as they come up and decide for ourselves whether each one is something we’d benefit from engaging with or not on a case-by-case basis.

Richard Carlson, author of the book ‘You Can Be Happy No Matter What’, suggests that it’s quite literally our THINKING, not our circumstances, that dictates how we feel.

But in every situation what you don’t realize is that it’s YOUR CHOICE, as the thinker of your thoughts, to decide which ones you’d like to dwell on and which ones you’d prefer to ignore.

Guys I want you to realize that you have the power to choose and discard negative thoughts – without any harmful effects at all!

Instead, we’re trapped in a belief system that tells us that we must pay attention to our thoughts.

As a result, we’re at the mercy of whatever thought makes headway into our brain-pan. And thus, our moods are 100% out of our control which means our emotions are also 100% out of our control.

And if your EMOTIONS are out of control, your LIFE is out of control!

To really spell things out: we haven’t fixed the problem yet because most people don’t understand that there is a better way to live.

Once you learn how to deal with your thoughts and ‘sort’ them productively, you INSTANTLY become a lighter, happier, freer, more blissful person – no matter what’s actually happening in your life!

Here’s What’s Different About This Approach

You might be familiar with the loads and LOADS of material and advice on this subject currently out there circling the globe in cyberspace you know, the stuff that advises you to ‘Just think positive.’

Or, ‘Don’t worry, be happy.’

Or, ‘If you have a negative thought, create reasons about why it’s not true.’

Or, ‘Try to think more positive thoughts.’

But let’s be honest with ourselves here: thinking positive isn’t helpful.

It’s exhausting.

The average human has over 40,000 thoughts per day. And most of them are involuntary.

Can you imagine how worn out you’d be if you had to constantly monitor the coming and going of 40,000 thoughts?

You’d be exhausted. You’d have no energy for ANYTHING except ‘mind control’ – the control of your own mind!

Fortunately, as with most questions of human attitude, there is a better way …

Here’s What You Can Do About It

Here’s the solution:

STOP GIVING SO MUCH WEIGHT TO YOUR THOUGHTS.

The best way for you to live a happier, more relaxed life right now is for you to recognize that ALL thoughts are just that – thoughts! That we have created! That we can choose to engage with or disregard!

Don’t bend yourself into a pretzel. Just take a second to evaluate the thought, and decide whether engaging with it is likely to improve your mood, or worsen it.

#3 Understand That Your Brain is Simply Emitting Thoughts at Random.

That’s the function of the brain.

That’s what brains do.

Next time you have a thought that makes you feel uncomfortable, ask yourself this question:

‘Is this thought something that will improve my life or make me unhappy?’

If the former, carry right on and have a great time analyzing it. If the latter, release the thought, and refrain from having any further dealings with it.

The bottom line: don’t try to CHANGE your thoughts or ‘think positively’. Instead, either choose to engage, or disengage.

The result? A balanced, sane, relaxed feeling – and an ability to ‘float’ through your day without upset or overwhelm. Enjoy.

I will stop here. If you loved this article, please do not forget to share it on your favorite social media.

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About the author

Manish Yadav

Manish Yadav

Hi, I'm Manish Yadav, A passionate blogger from India. I'm on a mission to help you discover your lost happiness and inner peace again by truly connecting with your soul. Believe me you deserve to be truly happy and prosperous in this one and only life. To Learn More Visit my Blog – lovefindsitsway.com