Personal Development

10 Ways You Are Stopping Your Own Happiness

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You want to be happy, really you do. You wonder why Sally is always smiling and chipper and you can't be. You try to do all the things she does, yet she pulls it off and you simply just aren't that happy today or any day.

What is it that keeps us from happiness, even though we all so desperately want it? Is it really that hard to achieve happiness? Actually it isn't but there are some things we do, without even knowing it, that keep us from achieving this eternal happiness that seems to elude us.

gratitude_31. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Sally may seem like the happiest person on the face of the earth but it could also be she is suffering internal emotionally pain and covers it up through smiles. We have no idea. Don't compare yourself to Sally. Be your own happy.

2. Don't stress over silly things.

Why do we freak out when gas prices go up or they no longer sell your favourite shampoo? In the grand scheme of things does it all really matter and is there anything you can do about any of it? Probably not. Let it go.

3. Beating yourself up.

Ok so your cake didn't come out nicely or you just noticed another grey hair. None of it matters. Maybe you just failed a math test or your driving test. You'll get it next time. We expect ourselves, our lives and our things to be perfect. They won't be.

4. Perfection is overrated.

Stop wanting things to be perfect. Your hair, your makeup, your job, your kids, your beard, your garden, any or all of that stuff. None of it has to be or ever will be perfect. You are perfect just the way you are. Accept that.

5. Let down your wall.

You know that wall that prevents love and happiness from entering your life? You need to knock it down, brick by brick. Let down your guard and let love and happiness come to you naturally and freely as they desperately want to anyway.

6. Appreciate little things.

Stop ignoring all the nice little things that are happening around you. The pretty little flower that just bloomed on your houseplant, your child just made their bed for the first time, the snow is melting. Find beauty and appreciation in every single little thing around you.

7. Show more kindness.

Kindness is a beautiful thing and the world needs more kind people. When we go out of our way to show kindness and do kind things for others, especially strangers, the happiness that fills your heart is like nothing you have ever felt before. Do more kind things.

8. Don't listen to others.

Other people's opinions of you should never matter. Ever. They are judging you based on the chapter of your story they are walking in on. Ignore what people think. Most people don't even think highly of themselves. How do you expect them to think highly of you?

9. High expectations.

We often have put such high demands on our goals, dreams and desires that if we don't achieve them in a certain time frame, then we consider ourselves a failure. Don't put such high stress on yourself. Have a goal and a dream but don't try to do everything in a day. Give yourself time, cut yourself some slack.

10. Love who you are.

Self love is not easy to master and if you don't have it, chances are there isn't a lot about yourself that you love or makes you happy. Take the time to rediscover who you are and learn to love everything about you. I mean everything. When we love who we are, completely, faults and all, we will reach a state of true inner peace and happiness.

Finding happiness isn't impossible, but it may take a wee bit of work. Work that is, however, definitely worth doing if you want to be happy. And who doesn't? Happiness allows for happy things to come into our lives. Always choose happiness.

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About the author

Steven Aitchison

Steven Aitchison is the author of The Belief Principle and an online trainer teaching personal development and online business.  He is also the creator of this blog which has been running since August 2006.