We’ve all been there. Either you or I have been in a really shitty place, realized it was crap and took the time and all the necessary steps to change. We know what we did was either wrong or just ridiculously stupid. We all make mistakes. Some of us stay in that place while the rest of others desperately try to figure out what we did, why we did it, recover and grow from it. While we’re trying to make our lives better there are certain things you should never say to us. I mean, we are trying.
Naturally, there is always a handful of naysayers. The loud mouths who don’t want you to succeed or change or grow. They like you just the way you are and don’t want you to improve. These are the people who are also afraid of your growth. They realize it may be a new beginning for you but the end for them. If you are one of these people or know someone like this, send them this article and tell them that while you are learning, changing and growing, these are the things they should not be saying to you.
1. Remember your Uncle Gerry tried that and it backfired on him.
Look at him now. Chances are I don’t really care about Uncle Gerry’s demise. I am not Uncle Gerry. I am me and I am confident in my growth.
2. You better be careful, you know it’s not just you who will pay the price if this goes wrong.
If this goes wrong? First of all, nothing is going to go wrong and secondly of course it’s just me who will pay whatever imaginary price you are talking about. This is my life. I am responsible for me, no one else.
3. Why would you want to do that?
Why would I not want to do that? I’m trying to change my life. Change is good. Hasn’t anyone told you that? We can’t stay the same forever. There comes a time where you will have to be open to learn and grow. A little encouragement goes a long way here.
4. Didn’t you already try that once and it failed?
Maybe I did and maybe it did fail. So what? I’ll keep trying until I get it right. When was the last time you tried to improve your life? Stop bringing up my failures.
5. Oh, you’re doing that again are you?
Yes, yes I am. So what of it? I see that me trying to better myself and improve my life annoys you. Is it fear or jealousy? The sooner we figure out what it is the sooner you can work on improving that.
6. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll still be here for you.
Why would it not work out? Why wouldn’t you be here for me if it does work out? Do you think I’m going to fail at improving my life? Thanx for the vote of confidence.
7. Oh well we all know how this is going to end.
We do? How? Do you know a secret that I don’t? Are you referring to my past just now? Why would you do that? We’re moving past the past and into the future. You should stop bringing up yesterday please.
8. Why can’t you just let things be?
Let them be as shitty as they are now you mean? You mean leave things just as they are and stay the same forever like the rest of you guys? Why would I want to do that? That sounds like a horrible idea.
9. Your life if just fine the way it is.
Really? Is it? It hasn’t changed in months, years even and it’s filled with misery and sadness. I’m stuck in a horrible job and stagnating. Why would you say my life is fine? It’s not fine. There’s nothing fine about it. You just don’t want me to change.
10. Well, good luck with that.
How am I supposed to take that? You don’t sound remotely sincere. As a matter of fact, you sound very sarcastic when you say that. Are you imp lying I am going to need all the luck I can get with trying to improve my life? Ok, well thank you.
People who are trying to improve their life really just want a few words of encouragement. That’s it, that’s all. Be happy for them and show them you care and you believe in them. That’s not so hard to do, is it?