I wrote this post as a return to a post Lisis and Steve Aitchison started about the concept that says "Find your passion and the money will follow." The many comments that ensued on both blogs included the disillusionment brought on by snake oil sales men selling self development concepts like the one above that do not work.
My post therefore is titled:
10 REASONS WHY CERTAIN, (A LOT OF ) SUCCESS TECHNOLOGIES DO NOT WORK FOR CERTAIN, (A LOT OF) PEOPLE.
It is nigh impossible to do something whole heartedly if you don't believe in it. Muhummad Ali once said that before he entered a ring he had already won the fight in his head. These folks have already lost their battle before it has begun.
2. They Do The Thing The Wrong Way And Then Blame The Technology
E.g "I bought this plant then filled the plant pot with sand and crushed biscuits, watered it religiously EVERY day as it said on the packet and it still died……rubbish plant!"
The comments on Lisis's post had a raft of people doubting certain self development and success concepts partly because they felt they were being sold the idea from snake oil salesmen with their money making agendas. It begged the question that of all the terrific, undeniably successful people out there why CHOOSE to listen to a snake oil salesman? Why choose the worst representative and then blame the technology? There are indeed certain skills needed to be 'successful' and a certain amount of discernment is one of them. Discernment comes from doing your homework.
When I chose NLP for my personal Million Dollar Challenge I DECIDED to follow the teachings to the letter, no deviation, no excuses, so that if it didn't work I could be somewhat justified in blaming the methodology, but if I didn't step up 100% to the proverbial plate I couldn't. I can be as skeptical as the next person but it was important to test this technique properly by relaxing and letting go of my cynicism. You might even have to do this with a number of different techniques to find the right one for you, but you still have to give each one a fighting chance.
I also accessed other people that NLP had obviously worked for to feed off their positivity, not people for whom it didn't in order not to feed off their negativity. I utilized the finding that your brain can only think of one thing at a time and decided to occupy the limited space with the running theme that NLP WOULD work and not that it wouldn't.
3. They Are Desperate Or In Trouble
Desperate, panicked or distractingly worried is not the right mindset or state to plan or work efficiently and methodically. It is however the right frame of mind to kick you in the butt and fire you up, but not to carry out the necessary follow ups needed for most success technologies. Neither will folks in this predicament be prepared to allow the time that some versions of success would take, one year, two, three…..because they are desperate for answers NOW!
If you are in a desperate state i.e your house may be foreclosed or the debts are becoming insurmountable, you have to take a deep breath, take a step back and deal with that issue FIRST – however long that takes also, to enable you to think straight and make good judgements, (such as not listening to scam artists and snake oil salesmen!) This must be integrated into your longterm plan for success.
4. It's Just Not For Them
I know people who religiously watch 'Eastenders' and other soaps. I don't. It's just not for me.
I know people who think that shoe shopping is a religious experience. I don't. It's just not for me.
For some people the discipline, change in perspective needed and utterly rude self belief is just too demanding. It's just not for them. For every self made success story over the last 100 years or so there are tales of stark, painful difficulty, fear, self doubt, wanting to quit even suicidal thoughts. The difference being that they didn't quit. You can't do an unreasonable thing like quitting a job with no worthwhile plan and expect to hang in there with some degree of ease, it's going to be difficult enough. You must make it as do-able as possible to enable yourself to keep going for as long as it may take. Napolean Hill said: "Most people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure." – In other words, you've got to enable yourself to hang in there!
5. We Simply Aren't Built The Same
Well actually we are! But our personal experience, environment and personal genetics provides the uniqueness which we are responsible for tweaking to get it to function in our favour.
i.e some folks are predisposed to be leaders or fast 100m runners. But it has also been proven to a degree that if you are prepared to put in the hours you can make yourself very useful in an area you would not normally be considered suitable. I'm sure many of you have heard of the '10,000 hours to make a genius' theory.
6. They Choose The Wrong Mindset
You have 2 basic choices, positive or negative. As aforementioned our mind can only cater with one thing at a time. Of all the hideously successful people I have met none of them had a cynical, defeated or negative outlook. I'm not attacking those that do, (there is usually a good reason for it), I'm just stating a noticeable fact. When you meet these kinds of people, Mandela, Branson, Cowell, Jackson, you bristle with their contagious electricity and possibility, it's almost tangible. When I meet skeptics I always feel like it's just about to rain! I feel tired and want to sit down. Even if a lot of what they are saying is practical it is just not conducive to striding forward to tremendous victory with unweighted force. Why not choose the mindset that enables not disables you?
Skeptics tend to have mastered the skill of seeing everything as negatively as possible, and it IS an acquired skill see:
Tim Brownson's fun take on 'How To Be Miserable'
7. They Don't Believe In Magic, Dreams And Fairy Dust
Certain people always talk about 'realism', 'you've got to be realistic' and 'keep your feet on the ground.' Again, I have never heard a self-made multi millionaire, billionaire or world changer utter those halting, grounding words…..just saying! Not in their books or interviews. (Maybe they do secretly – I have just never heard them).
The very idea that you can now contact someone on the other side of the world in literally seconds could never have been dreamt and then created by a 'realist.'
A 200 ton plane would never have lifted off and flew at the hands of a 'realist.'
When Richard Branson wanted to risk absolutely every asset he had acquired to start an airline, he specifically avoided talking his plans through with his accountant because his accountant was a 'realist' and Branson has always admitted to being a dreamer.
Apart from Michael Jackson's phenomenal dancing and music, he once decided that at the end of his show he would rather like to fly, (no strings), over the audience and disappear into the night. A 'realist' would have told him to keep his feet on the ground literally. A fairy dust merchant said, 'how high do you want to fly Mr Jackson?' and provided the means for him to do it.
All I'm saying is that to make great personal or world changing strides there is a little bit of a belief in fairy dust, Providence, magic, God or whatever intangible ethereal force you choose that is required, along with the self belief and sufficient work ethic.
If you are too much of a 'realist' to believe that, that is okay too, it is merely your CHOICE of mindset.
8. They Choose To Align With the Wrong People
Like mindset it is a two way choice. When I started my Million Dollar Challenge you can bet I met realists who laughed at me with my welfare-cheque-having dreams. I chose to ignore them. When purposely provoked I refused to even engage in conversation with them on this particular topic. One skeptic in particular was one of my best friends – but best friend or not he was still the wrong person to talk to. There will always be people who say things can't be done and people who say the opposite. You therefore have to make a choice of alignment. Everyone has a choice to align with the 'can't-be-dones' of the world or the 'can-be-dones'. I'll leave you to guess which group will provide the continuing wind for your wings as opposed to raining on your parade leaving everything feeling like a damp squib.
9. For People Who Are Realists They Can Be Very Unrealistic
Reading 'The Secret' or any other self development book / blog or success theory will not make you wealthy unless you follow through with a viable vehicle or plan to make wealth. You don't even have to be business person of the century but you do have to get to grips with some basic business principles which are all accessible and learnable if it is not natural to you. The law of attraction and manifestation are merely some of the facets that can assist you.
However, having passion on it's own CAN lead to monetary wealth – with a bit of luck. Take the creative field, singing, writing, painting, sculpting….there are agents or managers who will handle the business side for you to allow you to solely and frivolously indulge in your passion with few other pesky concerns or interruptions. But for the most part your passion must accompany some sound common sense. Yes it may take time. Yes you might 'fail' once, twice, three times, four times, ten or more times. Yes the naysayers will probably have a field day should you 'fail'. Yes you might have to revise your original plan or re-research its viability, or write a detailed business plan which can take up to a year in itself to do and no, there is no one on earth who can give you a definite guarantee of success. Still wanna do it?……That's passion!
10. I suck – I don't have a number 10!
So I'll use no.10 to say that suffice to say I am a ball of nobody just offering my take on this fascinating issue…..but then who isn't? I highlighted words like CHOICE and DECISION because I wanted to remind folks that whatever you CHOOSE to believe or whatever mindset you plump for it is indeed your decision, so I trust it is one that makes you willingly jump out of bed with a silly grin on your face most days itching to start your day – if not, can you truly say you have made the right decision???!!! If so then happy days to you!
On my web site (www.lovelifegodsexmoney.com), I have much press and good tidings from folks I have helped rediscover THEIR OWN passions and move forward in a fruitful way, but that, as with most advertising can be manipulated to make me sound wonderful, (even though I am!). My credibility should be discerned not just from critics but from what I say and the experience I may appear to have. The same discernment that should be used in sussing out snake oil salesmen and dismissing them for someone whose agenda is more useful to you.
The credentials therefore that I choose to proffer are my experience with success technologies and concepts which have worked for me, (including the PASSION one that started this whole discussion) – but only after I had changed my limiting mindset. I wasn't blessed naturally with 'sideways' thinking, I had to be taught and because it has given me the ability to jump out of bed itching to start the day, like most of you, when I find a good thing I want to tell everyone about it so they can do the same.
I am not selling anything, (except myself I guess) – which seems to be important to some people, I have no alluring links about making thousands of dollars in 30 day deals. I have no book to sell, no PDF to download, not even any advertising on my site. I just love what I do.
The other thing is that I am super PASSIONATE about my CHOICE to share possibility, potential and can-doism to anyone who also CHOOSES to believe in it.
To passion and success!
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