About Steven Aitchison
We all seem to be waiting for something to come to us before we can move on in life:
‘Waiting for perfect partner before I can be truly happy’
‘Waiting to make more money before I start my business’
‘Waiting until the day I retire before I truly enjoy life’
Every single ‘waiting for’ excuse can be overcome today.
The myth that we have to wait for something to happen before we can move a step closer to our perfect life seems to be invading everyone’s lives. We all seem to be waiting for tomorrow, and when tomorrow comes we wait for another tomorrow. The thing is, tomorrow has been heavily influenced by our yesterdays; our beliefs, our emotions, our attachments, and our thoughts on life. So you can’t change your tomorrow unless you change your yesterday, and the only way to change your yesterday is to change today.
This is not a post on living in the moment and living for today. This is a post on recognising what your thoughts were yesterday, analysing them and changing them today.
What stops us moving forward is fear and doubt.
In my life, I am not really waiting for enough money to give up my day job; I am fearful that if I give up my job I won’t make enough money in my business to support my family. In actual fact my wife is reluctant to let me give up the day job as it would be a bit irresponsible 
However, what I have done is stopped waiting for knowledge and information to move forward in my business. I used to think I will need to master video techniques before I can post videos, I need to have enough knowledge to speak about a certain topic, I will need to become a literary genius before I can write a book. I accept the fact that I will make lots of mistakes in my life, so why not make the mistakes today, learn from them, and produce something better tomorrow. I can look back on my very first post on CYT and laugh at it now, but I learned, got a little better, and 450 articles later you are reading this.
Here are 4 common ‘Waiting for’ excuses and how to overcome them:
4 Common ‘waiting for’ excuses
Waiting for more knowledge
Haven’t we all used this excuse at some point in our lives. We all seem to be waiting to become experts in something before we move on with our lives; waiting to gain more knowledge in the writing process before writing a book, waiting to gain more knowledge about a particular topic before applying for that job, waiting to gain more knowledge about a sport before taking it up.
I was on a training course last year about a new computer software management tool I had to use at work. The training lasted 1 day, and by the time I came to use it, 1 week later, I had totally forgot what I had learned on the 1 day training course. However, I didn’t ask to go back on the course, I started using it, making lots of mistakes, asking lots of questions, and eventually mastered it within 1 week. We learn by doing.
By doing something, we quickly learn to ask more questions. Each piece of knowledge we gain from each question we ask, brings us closer to having a more thorough knowledge about something. However, if we wait until we think we have a thorough understanding of something before we start, we will never gain any real insight and learn to ask the pertinent questions we need to ask.
Obviously, we might need a PhD in order to practice medicine, but for most things in life we don’t need to become experts before we start practicing something.
Waiting for more money
This is a classic ‘waiting for’ excuse. ‘I’m waiting for a big lottery win before I can get all the things I want in life.’
I have asked friends who have said this what it is they really want if they win the lottery. A lot of the answers are something like:
‘I’d travel the world’
‘I’d buy a Ferrari’
‘I would give up my job and do volunteer work’
What we are looking for a lot of the time is not to own something, such as the Ferrari, but to experience it. You can experience driving a Ferrari for $200 a day.
You can travel the world using your holiday time from work and travelling is relatively cheap these days, you don’t actually need a huge wad of cash to do this.
You can do volunteer work any time, you don’t have to give up your job to experience the thrill of helping others less fortunate than yourself.
Most of the things we want in life can be experienced quite cheaply so why wait, why own it when what we are really after is the experience.
Waiting for more time
This is an excuse I have learned to overcome in the last few years, and I think you’ll find it relatively easy to overcome it as well.
A few weeks ago when I asked my son why he hadn’t completed his homework for his English classes, he advised he didn’t have time. the conversation went something like this:
‘You didn’t have time!, what have you been doing’, I said, as he is sitting watching another episode of ‘Two and a Half Men’
‘Well, I had rugby on Wednesday and Sunday, I had homework for other classes, I had a party to go to. Where do I find the time?’
‘How long would this homework take you?’
‘About an hour, ninety minutes max’
‘What are you doing just now?’
‘What?’ he says, looking perplexed.
‘You’re watching TV just now. You could have done it instead of playing your xBox or watching TV.’
‘Oh come on, I need my relaxation time, I’ve got a busy life.’ He says with a cheeky grin.
I couldn’t help but laugh. the reason he didn’t do his homework air because he didn’t give it enough importance. (Needless to say he completed his homework immediately after our conversation).
If you are using this excuse a lot, ask yourself this question:
If someone was holding a gun to my head and saying ‘find more time to get this done, or I’ll pull the trigger’, how would I find more time?
Not having time is never a valid excuse. Not assigning enough importance to something is closer to the truth. Be honest with yourself and find a way to assign importance to something you’re putting off. A great way to do this is to tell someone you’re going to do something by a certain date. That way it creates a little more urgency and more accountability. If you are accountable only to yourself your excuses don’t seem lame. If you’re accountable to someone else, excuses always sound lame.
Waiting for belief in myself
Dr. Leonard Orr has noted, the human mind behaves as if it were divided into two parts, the thinker and the prover. He states that; ‘whatever the thinker thinks, the prover will prove’. This is true in our day to day lives. We believe what we believe because we have found evidence to believe it, or we trust someone else has found evidence, and piggy back off their beliefs.
Think of a belief you hold about yourself that is holding you back. It can be anything you want e.g. you might believe you are no good in social situations, but you desperately want to be social. Over the years you have collected evidence to prove this belief, therefore reinforcing it over time. Flip this on it’s head and start looking for evidence to prove that you are good in social situations and you will find that your old belief starts to melt ever so slowly. Look for more and more evidence and pretty soon you will start to believe you’re bloody amazing in social situations.
Having belief in yourself is not an external issue, it’s an internal one, as is all the other ‘waiting for’ excuses. Belief in yourself is simply a matter of gathering enough evidence to prove to the prover that what you believe is really true.
Try and think some of the beliefs you hold about yourself and by doing the flipping exercise you will be able to find evidence to dispute your old beliefs and install a new belief. It takes work, but believe me it’s worth it.
Can you think of any other ‘Waiting for’ excuses that you are using?
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wonderful post steve! until recently, I’m quilty often of ‘waiting for more knowledge,’ until this summer when I started to teach, I wasn’t sure I knew a little more than I’d thought…Thank you for reminding me to take action with what I have. God bless.
HI Kiptum. They say that teaching is one of the best methods to consolidate the information you have.
thanks for your comments, glad this was a good reminder.
one more is ( WAITING FOR APPROVAL) :
waiting for a nod of head , an o.k from someone around us who’s view matters so to say in public eyes. ( why we do that is because we see this person as someone more knowledgeable than us , that is why we think if he is a personality to recon with he surely is worth getting approval from. We fail to recognize the worthiness of our own opinion ).
Hi Sujata, that is an excellent point, a lot of us certainly wait for approval. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
Steven,
Ahh…that conversation with your son sounds like one we have here, too…all TOO often!!
On a more *ahem* serious note – I’m loving this idea of this flipping exercise – something I am definitely going to play with in my life!! I know those moments…the waiting for moments. And the thing is…to get stuck in that place. So, I really am loving all you shared here today.
Have a great one!! I’m off to “do”!!
Lance recently posted..Sunday Thought For The Day
Hey Lance. I am so glad you enjoyed this. Yep, conversations like this with my sons are quite regular too
Glad you liked the flipping exercise, it’s quite powerful yet very simple.
So true words, Steven! I completely agree with you. This sitting and waiting can lead us to the dead end and later nothing can be changed.
Thanks for sharing this inspirational post!
Roman Soluk recently posted..How To Become More Sexually Confident
Thanks for your comment Roman, glad you enjoyed it.
This is a great post. You are so right that we have a tendency to want to wait until things are perfect or we have the time, whatever. The thing is, the more we wait, the less we do. In my life, just doing it worked much better than waiting!
Steve C Thomas recently posted..What is Your Legacy
Hi Steve, glad the ‘just doing it’ attitude gave you some momentum, I think it’s the best way to start doing something.
Hi Steve,
Wonderful post! The waiting for more knowledge bit was one I used to struggle more with. Now I obtain a minimal amount of book smarts and set out to get street smarts immediately.
I think waiting for the “perfect opportunity” is another stumbling block that causes people to procrastinate.
Opportunities come to those who hustle. You create opportunities by exhibiting a strong desire to succeed while demonstrating deep faith in your abilities. Each moment presents an opportunity to move yourself in the direction of your goal. If you wait, you die a little bit more because when the moment passes so does the opportunity, and the past just left town and will never return.
Thanks for sharing your insight!
Ryan
Hi Ryan, thanks for your comments on this.
Waiting for the perfect opportunity is a classic
I believe the more you desire the more opportunities come your way, if you wait for the perfect moment, you might blink and miss it.
Hi,
I love what Dr. Leonard Orr said…and the flipping exercise is an easy thing to do on the spot. I’ll see what comes up for me today. I need to find prove I’m good at staying organized;) Congrats on all that traffic you got. The growth we’ve seen from you at CYT is prove you walk your talk. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. Wasn’t it a year ago you began doing videos?
Tess The Bold Life recently posted..Courage Is A Beautiful Thing
Hi Tess. be good to see what you got using the flipping exercise.
The traffic was short lived, only 4 days or so, but in general traffic numbers are up so had to move to a dedicated server anyway
Thanks, as always, for your support Tess I really appreciate it.
Steve – BULLS EYE.
I admittedly have been guilty far too many times of sitting in the waiting room. In reading between the lines it hit me that I am not so much waiting for anything, but merely not wanting to make a decision until my life and mind become aligned.
Whether fear, simply not be able to say no, or whatever the excuse is easier to offer. Likely links in to ‘failure thinking’ so an excuse is offered instead.
Going to try to figure out the real reason behind my decision (or lack thereof) when I do offer up an excuse.
My favourite waiting for axiom is: Waiting for the Right Time (or insert Opportunity for Right Time). I have been very fortunate in life to have had a string of good jobs and opportunities have presented themselves at various moments in time and space. Very seldom have I seized an opportunity because the time was not right. In looking back, I realize that it was simply because my life and opportunity were not in alignment.
Thanks again.
jb
jsbulmercreations
Hey John. I am glad this article helped you put things into perspective, and thanks for sharing it with us.
Oh, is very very easy to say this or that, YOU ARE NOT ME YOU DONT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME , WHY DO YOU AFFIRM IT IS SIMPLE?/DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT WE ARE AS WE ARE BECAUSE WE WANT???
OH MY FRIEND WAKE UP, WE HAVE FEARS MANY MANY FEARS REJECTION, JUDGMENT, POVERTY….AND SO, WHAT CAN YOU DO |?/IF I HAD COURAGE, I WOULDN´T NEED HELP, PLEASE HELP ME EFFECTIVEMENT, NO JUST WITH WORDS THAT CAN HELP OTHERS BUT NO ME.THANKS
Hi Joao. You are absolutely right I am not you and I don’t know what you are going through.
everybody has fears Joao, but some of use those fears and the times we have been rejected to our advantage. What makes people different is the way they see the world, when they change the way they see the world they change their attitude, when they change their attitude they change their thoughts, when they change their thoughts they change the whole world.
It sounds as if you’re looking down at the ground too much Joao, and sounds as if you need help as well. Are there not any places of help in Brazil?
Steve,
Thanks for the inspiration! I really like the notion of accepting failure will occur and being willing to pursue goals regardless. I think this can be the biggest inhibitor to trying something new and taking a risk. People are afraid to fail. It can be tough to take an unconventional path because of this. It’s easier to tell myself, I not ready yet and am still developing myself. I have to realize that the most important things to learn will come from trial by fire.
Joe Wilner recently posted..Set Yourself Up For Success in 4 Simple Steps
Ho Joe, thanks for your comments on this. I think the most important lessons in life are learned from trial by fire, so you make a good point.
Steven,
I love this particular nugget of wisdom: “I accept the fact that I will make lots of mistakes in my life, so why not make the mistakes today, learn from them, and produce something better tomorrow. ”
The “not enough time” theme resonated for me! Thanks for the prompting.
Sandra Lee recently posted..Sunday Reflection- Loving Awareness
Hi Sandra. Glad to have prompted you a little
Hey Steve,
I really like this post. It has definitely strung a cord with me today. It is a very good post! It’s a very universal theme and that’s what makes it so good. So many people can relate to it. Keep the good writin’ goin’!
Hi Katie, glad this helped you in some way.
Great perspective here Steve. I never wait exactly, sometimes I just move faster than others. There is a funny saying about experience: “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.” Most of the time, experience is what I wanted so I am rarely disappointed. I loved this quote: “Not having time is never a valid excuse. Not assigning enough importance to something is closer to the truth.”
Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills recently posted..Do You Feel the Need for a Change
Hey Jonathan. Thanks for your input. I liked that you never wait, you just move faster than others
Hi Steven,
I think I can relate to ‘Waiting for more time’. I had been using it as an excuse to put off some really important things in my life but as you clearly indicated the problem is not having less time but actually not being able to set priorities.
I have started setting priorities in my life and leaving every unnecessary thing behind and it is really helping me.
I would like to add one more – ‘ Waiting for some one to help me’.
Often, we wait for some one to come and help us move forward in life.
This one can really take its toll on us. But, yes! I have started moving forward and asking people for help instead of waiting for them to come and help me.
Thanks a lot for sharing your wisdom!
Hi Avdhessh. What you described by ‘waiting for someone to help you’ is called learned helplessness and so many of us suffer that at one stage in our lives, so i know exactly what you mean.
I am so glad to hear you have started moving forward.
I love this, and the synchronicity that I just happened to catch Wayne Dyer’s “Excuses Begone” on PBS the other night. We have SO many excuses.
One thing I used to wait for was “when I lose weight.” A lot of people do this. And many wait until the children leave home. Or wait until they find their mate.
The more we wait, the more we’ll wait. Today is the day. And when we mess up, we have another go at it tomorrow.
Ande Waggener recently posted..How To Change Your Happiness Programming
Hi Ande. Never a true word spoken; Today is the day. And IF we mess up, we have another go at it tomorrow
Hi Steven!
It’s an interesting twist on a subject – changing today on base of yesterdays. And to keep oneself motivated by telling others that we will do something on a certain date forks great – we just don’t like to feel ashamed.
I used it when having 40 days lent – by blog and messengers, and my friends kept reminding me every time I didn’t post info for that day. It was kinda obligating.
Andrzej
Andrzej recently posted..5 steps to get rid of TV
Hi Andrzej, what a great way to make yourself accountable, by letting your readers know what you were doing.
Steve, this is a phenomenal and timely post. Often times I am the biggest obstacle to my own progress. Rationalizing that I don’t have this or that (especially the 4 you listed) just keeps me stagnant and stale (loved the pic of the skeleton in the waiting room
By the way, do you have any material on how to put a podcast on itunes? If not, I’m glad to do the research myself: no excuses, no waiting
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted..Smart Goal Setting in 2011
Hi Steve. Isn’t it amazing how much imagniation we use to rationalise to ourselves the things we are putting off
I was going to send you an email about putting up a podcast but I will post it here in case anybody else is interested:
I used a company called Podbean to host my podcasts, very easy to set up as it is a wordpress site so you will get the hamg of it very easily. Using podbean will give you an RSS feed for the podcasts which you can then put into iTunes. you can see my podcast at podbean here stevenaitchisn.podbean.com
Once you have set up your feed with podbean go over to iTunes
Click on Store
Then click on ‘podcasts’
You will then see a link that says ‘Submit a podcast’
Put your details in there and you are good to go.
You will then get an email to confirm your podcast on iTunes and they will give you links to link to your itunes page
Any questions at all Steve send me an email via the conact page or my personal email, which I think you have.
Hope this helps.
Great points as always Steven,
I love the point on waiting for more time. When I was in high school I thought, when I go to college, I’ll have more time because I can make my own schedule and studying is more flexible. When I got into college I had to work three jobs at a time to make ends meet, and I thought, “When I graduate I’ll have more time since I’ll work my 9:00 to 5:00 and be done, no studying on weekends anymore.
Now I have no more excuses. The point I’ve learned is that we will always fill in the empty time we have. Like you said it just changes with the priorities we have. So if you want to use the “waiting for time” excuse, you should really just ask yourself, “Is this project or task I’m delaying less important then everything else I’m doing right now?”
If you can’t say yes, then that excuse doesn’t work.
Thanks Steven.
Bryce Christiansen recently posted..Do You Have a Job or Do You Work
Hi Bryce, you totally nailed it there when you spoke about setting priorities.
Great post, Steve. The biggies for me are “knowledge” and “time.” When I first started my blog, I spent SO much time setting the thing up, choosing a name, and writing the first post. We’re talking a whole summer (and part of the fall) spent doing something that could have taken a week had I just jumped in.
And that’s the point I’m adding: When you jump in and just DO what you really believe in, you dramatically SAVE time and INCREASE your knowledge. You get MORE of whatever you don’t think you have enough of.
And that’s why experience rocks so, so much.
Hi Travis. How much did you learn from that one experience? It’s great learning from something like that, the hard part is recognising that you may have wasted time, which you did and that’s the amazing thing – you learnedand will always just DO it next time
This is all so true Steven! Take for example the thing about waiting to have enough understanding of something before we take it on. How could we get the understanding if we don´t first do it? Understanding comes with doing.
Tom Sörhannus recently posted..Courage Above The Usual
HI Tom. So true, we understand by doing. It’s great planning, but as long as we don’t spend too much time on planning, just jump in
Steve, your words have power because they come from your own experience.
Thanks for this post. I love the utter simplicity and charm of your assertion that if having the passionate desire to drive a Ferrari is an issue for me… I can have the experience today for $200.
The point about not waiting has deep, deep ramifications. The greatest of these I would say is this: real, genuine happiness is possible to me in this very moment as I am willing to be still and connect with my own authentic self and be WHOLE. No need to wait for happiness ever again.
I don’t even need to go out and hire a Ferrari… (though it would be fun!)
Every good wish Steve and again, thank you for everything.
Christopher Foster recently posted..A buoyant heart is a happy heart
Hi Chris. Great to see you here again. You don’t need to wait for happiness is a great one Chris and I agree with you on this.
Hope you are doing well and the blog is blazing?
Speak soon
I am full time uni student, who takes a bus and two trains from home to uni each way, so I have been waiting to get a job after I have passed my driving test….waiting for the panic to set in before doing my assignments….waiting to start that book when I have enough material to go on with, while actually I have a blog about different subjects. (Sadly all very true, waiting is something I know)
This is awesome Steven. I’m pretty sure everyone has been guilty of coming up with the waiting excuses. Another common one is, “when the kids get older.” That leads a lot of parents to wait 20+ years to even think about following their dreams.
Nea | Self Improvement Saga recently posted..Inspirational Words- Living Life
Ugh! Guilty on all counts. But that was years ago. Thankfully, I’ve been over those waiting periods and discovered that there’s nothing much going on there in that lonely, pathetic lounge. LOL!
What I’ve learned so far are these: 1) We learn or acquire knowledge as we move about, instead of waiting. 2) We never get money in our pockets that we find worthy for we’re not sidewalk beggars or mendicants who rejoice over coins. But when we get the fewest coins for our hard work and daring, it’s like we’re rich! 3) We make use of valuable time learning, even if we do make mistakes along the way, as opposed to being stagnant for years; fearful and immobile may not result to mistakes, but it also doesn’t get us meaningful footprints of living. 4) The longer we wait for that confidence to come, the harder it comes. But for people who seek it and dive depths, they find it fast!
There goes. The “lounge” may have free magazines, even coffee and a few notable conversations. But it will never make us better people. To those who’s seated there for some time, waiting… Get up and see the world!
~Arina~
arina nikitina recently posted..Who Makes You Laugh
Hi Steve, when i’m reading this article, it reminds me of the quote : Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is the special occasion. (author unknown). I’m always ‘waiting for money’ before i can have the things that I like and enjoy the life i’ve longing for. But why wait? as you said the ‘experience’ we want is quite cheap now, e.g travel, shopping..
thanks for such a thought provoking article.
Great post Steve!
There is so much power in the actual transition! So often we focus on what we want or don’t have that we are completely paralysed.
Often it starts with us picking up a book and reading a paragraph to ‘get more knowledge’ and it snowballs and ignites our passion!
Thanks for sharing Steve!
Juanita recently posted..Making a change when everything is against you
Hi… just came across your blog and am reading several of your posts. I am currently separated and “waiting” for my husband to make up his mind. It seems actually that I am waiting for him to find the courage to divorce me, an action that I surely hope he does NOT take.
I have been focusing on myself, spending time with friends and family and doing things that are healthy and fun for me. But unfortunately, I am still waiting. I feel like my life is still on hold a bit as I can’t really move forward right now nor let go until I know one way or the other if he’ll come back.
I do have faith he’ll come back, and since I do not want a divorce, I am choosing to wait. It is difficult tho! This is the most difficult time of my life. As Tom Petty said, “The waiting is the hardest part.”
Any thoughts on that?
This is so nice. I can actually relate to what you’re explaining in this article Steve. Especially the last part, waiting for belief in myself. It really hits me as if the article is directed to me. This is really inspiring. You’re such a genius Steve. Thank you for sharing your wonderful and inspiring thoughts to us
it really helps (a lot).
Waiting for someone else to do it first
Waiting for that perfect job opportunity
Waiting for the day to get over, cos tomorrow might be better (rinse and repeat)
Waiting for a miracle to happen