About Steven AitchisonWe are all dreaming whilst believing we are awake. We have been brought up to live with a collected set of beliefs that we have all subscribed to from a young age. The sad thing is that we subscribe to these beliefs when our minds do not have the capacity to question them.
We are living each day trying to please someone or trying to impress someone with our knowledge, our looks, our intellect, our wittiness, our charm. We are all wearing 5 or 6 social masks every single day of our lives, depending on who are with.
Your social mask is not the same when you are speaking to your work colleagues than it is when you are speaking with your loved ones or when you are speaking with a close friend. We have been brought up learning what masks to wear and in what situations.
The only reason we are wearing these social masks is to be accepted in a society that doesn’t like masks. So what can we do to break free from a reality that has been built for us, but not built by us?
Make a choice!
There comes a time, or several times, in your life when you have to make a choice between living in a reality that has been created by others or creating your own reality.
Right this very second our reality has been formed by the beliefs that have been passed down by others, mainly our parents, teachers, siblings and peers. Right now you can decide that you no longer want to live the reality created for you and it’s time to create your own reality.
but how on earth do you create your own reality?
Wake up!
The very first thing to do to change your reality is wake up to the fact that the world in which you live is made up of belief systems. Someone believed that it was possible to fly and went on to master flight, someone believed that it was possible to illuminate the world with light and went on to master the light bulb, someone believed that we could be connected with computers and went on to create the internet, someone believed that we no longer needed horse and cart for transport and invented cars.
It’s time for that someone to be you, it’s time for you break the spell of someone’s beliefs and start making your own spells. You live in a reality created by others – have the courage, the belief, the mental strength, and the power to change your own reality. Don’t join someone else’s revolution, start your own revolution and become the leader and not the follower.
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Nice one Steve!
What you call spells is what I more often call irrational beliefs and thinking. I have clients who in the coaching process had real awakening moments, because they realized they operated on very silly views of themselves and reality. I think we all need a slap in the face every once in a while (metaphorical and occasionally, not) to get out of spells.
Hi Eduard, good to see you here. I’ve also had a few clients who have experienced these awakening moments and it’s wonderful to see. I think we can all do with a swift slapping every now and again
This is great, Steve.
Our mind is easily mesmerized, easily hypnotized, and if it isn’t you doing it, you can be certain the world will do it for you. It is a back breaking burden to go through life allowing others to hypnotize our mind with their opinions. On the other hand, it is an absolute delight when you decide that you will be the only one that mesmerizes your mind.
Hi Rob, that’s a great way of putting it, being hypnotised or mesmerised in our lives. I think some of the greatest moments of realisation have certainly come from when I awoke and started thinking for myself, but it’s a case of consciously waking up all the time and forcing myself to wake up. It’s exhilarating and worth the effort of breaking the spells.
Hi Steven.
I hear you there. We can create our own venture or effort only when we don’t look to others as the person to lead the way. The minute we look to someone else to first lead us, we end up wanting to look to them every time we do something, slowing ourselves down, and limiting our creativity. Some set forth a certain plan, and if we only mimic their plan, it won’t be as good, will look like a copycat effort, and will suck away our energy since it was not conceived by us.
.-= Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..You And Your Response To Competition =-.
Hi Armen. I know exactly what you mean here. When we decide to lead the way we can sometimes get bogged down into thinking ‘oh no, nobody is following me’ and then quickly go back to being led, however, when we lead the way without fear of anyone following us we will be followed. Thanks Armen, good to see you here.
Dearest Steven, now THIS is a topic sooo dear to my heart. You have described here what I went through when I walked away from society and went into the Australian Rainforest. At that time I consciously chose to let go of all previous conditioning. I even went so far as to not read books for years, and of course there was no TV, Radio, cell phones or computers.
I went far beyond the safe boundaries of human domestication and into a wild world that we have all but lost touch with. And that “wild world” not only existed outside myself in the form of the rainforest, but it existed within me. AS I explored myself, I often felt like one of the early explorers headed into new and uncharted territory.
I have NEVER regretted my choice to consciously walk this path. All I can say here is that we are FAR more than most of us yet imagine. We really are without limits.
I love this line of yours (the whole post for that matter): “There comes a time, or several times, in your life when you have to make a choice between living in a reality that has been created by others or creating your own reality.”
THAT kicks arse!!! WOW!! I have seen this in you and I encourage you to keep going. This is a powerful path you share, a much needed path if we humans are to reclaim who we really are, if we are to live in harmony with each other and all the rest of life on planet Earth.
Bless you dear one.
Hugs and love to you and yours.
Robin
.-= Robin Easton´s last blog ..Naked in Eden – Book Trailer =-.
Your experience in the rainforest is one that will continue to inspire me. I think we are all looking for the rainforest experience, the only trouble being that it can be hard to get up and do it, that’s why it’s so great to have these awakening moments. the more awakening moments we have the longer it lasts, the longer it lasts the longer we can stay awake and that is my ultimate goal and teaching that to others is a blessing. Learning from yourself are some of the best awakening moments I’ve had and I thank you for that.
Forever a fan
Hi Steven,
Nice post!
Yes – identifying what your beliefs actually are is the starting point for a lot of people when it comes to personal development. This can be quite a challenging process as these beliefs can be rooted very deep so you barely even notice them anymore (and, as you rightly say, many of them were not even yours in the first place!). When you unearth a particular belief you can often be left wondering “huh, why do I think THAT?”
I have found that identifying these is essential BUT I have found that actually getting rid of them once and for all requires a lot of persistence because they WANT to hang around! I read somewhere that a belief is an opinion that wants to endure and wants to protect itself so it is impervious to reason! How true. Even now, I still recognize negative thoughts or limiting beliefs flashing into my head – almost too quick to recognize and challenge….
How about a follow up post on tackling “bad” beliefs once you have identified them?
Thanks
Gareth
Hi Gareth. You are so right, challenging beliefs is extremely important and can be hard as they are deep rooted. The awakening moments such as the ones you get when you discover a belief you no longer need is one of the most enlightening experiences you can get. However, you ask a good question in ‘how do we find what our beliefs are?’, not easy to tackle that question in a reply, but I will do as you suggest with a follow up post.
What a great post Steven. Beliefs are one of the main reasons people don’t go after their goals. We should form our own beliefs instead of going with what other people think we should do. Thanks for sharing
.-= Dia´s last blog ..5 Ways to stay energetic throughout the day =-.
Thanks for your comments Dia. I think everything we do in life can be linked back to our beliefs and that’s why it’s so important to get a handle on them.
We can start with small tasks and goals. By doing something different, and doing it with our own set of skills and ideas, we can eventually move to doing much greater things.
.-= Julius´s last blog ..Web Accessibility in Japan =-.
Thanks for your comments Julius I appreciate them as always.
I love those moments when you’re able to break through and see something new about yourself or about the world. This weekend, I went shopping with my g-friend and only tried on stuff that *she* liked. She kept saying, “I like that, but it’s not your style.” And I kept saying, “That’s the point!”
Tim D
http://www.momentary.org
free mobile gratitude journal
Hi Tim. I had to laugh at that She kept saying, “I like that, but it’s not your style.” And I kept saying, “That’s the point!”
it sums everything up really.
Steve: Great post and I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for the inspiration. We really do need to take advantage of our ability to create and shape our future. Thanks for the motivation and the inspiration. I really do believe that this is something we can work at and get better and better at doing overtime. It is all about realizing you have the ability to create your own reality and then continually choosing to take advantage of that fact.
Hi Sibyl. Until we realise that we can create our own reality our lives are determined by others, but as soon as you ‘wake up’ life becomes so much more exciting and full of possibilities.
It is very important to stay ourselves in this world. We really need to change our beliefs for that purpose. Nice post, Steven! Thanks for sharing!
.-= Roman Soluk´s last blog ..Slow Dance =-.
Thanks for your comments Roman, I appreciate them
It’s always amazing to uncover your beliefs and how you got to have them in the first place and once you do that you see that most of them are simply rubbish.
Good to read you again Steven.
Hi Abubakar, it’s one of the best feelings we can have and one of the most empowering.
Strongly agree Steven, getting rid of false beliefs is one of the very important keys of success and happiness
.-= Farouk´s last undefined ..Response cached until Wed 23 @ 12:21 GMT (Refreshes in 23.91 Hours) =-.
Thanks for your comments Farouk I appreciate them.
An inspiring post Steven. Many thanks.
You say, “There comes a time, or several times… when you have to choose between living a reality created by others or creating your own reality.”
I remember vividly a terrible argument I had with my father when I was a young fellow wanting to leave rainy London and go out to British Columbia and find freedom and “truth.” He said “truth” didn’t exist.
My whole life changed becoz I followed that still small voice that is in us all and went to BC anyway…
But what you’re talking about here isn’t something we do once and then we can sit back and relax, is it? As you suggest we have to be alert every moment not to be fooled into surrendering our own genuine inspiration and creativity but be true to ourselves at all costs …
.-= Christopher Foster´s last blog ..How to deal with exhaustion =-.
Hey Chris, good to see you here.
You’re right Chris, this is not a one time thing this is a lifetime of waking moments and then acting on them. I would say a waking moment can last hours, days, months before another comes along. We also have to make a choice to wake up, like trying to get up out of bed when you are very comfortable, sleepy and can’t be bothered getting up, it takes a bit of mental work to keep waking up.
Hey Steven!
How are you? This post has a lot of truth in it, I always say people have their “public face” and their personal face.
And the trick to getting personal and making an authentic with someone is to try and reveal “personal” parts of yourself others wouldn’t normally do.
In a world that people are always trying to be perfect by having their “social face,” it’s the ones that are being “real” that stand out.
Cheers!
.-= parker lee | howtomingle´s last blog ..I’m, Too Sexy For My Shirt–Gawd-Daymn It Hurts! =-.
Hi Parker, thats so true and I have seen, particulalry in the last few months, that the internet is waking up to this fact: authenticity is what people are looking for.
Spot on!
Start YOUR revolution!
I believe as the next generation rises, the masks will naturally start to fall as social media grows and our lives become more transparent.
I look forward to that day.
Thx Steven!
Ryan i couldn’t agree more, there’s nowhere to hide anymore so a lot of us are going with the flow and revealing themselves a lot more.
Very good. A paradigm shift from someone else’s reality for you to what you want your own reality to be is certainly necessary for personal maturity.
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..Inexpensive Family Friendly Summer Fun in the Tri Cities Washington =-.
Hi Colleen, I think we all need this paradigm shift to mature.
Stephen,
Great post. I love your first sentence, as well as the rest of the article of course. “We are all dreaming whilst believing we’re awake.”
To me that says it all. We, mankind, has dreamed up this entire physical reality that we accept as completely real. There is so much more than what we perceive, but our limited awareness because of this conditioning doesn’t allow us to see it. It’s not unlike those pictures that at first look like two vases, but when you look a second time you see two profiles. We only see the structure our beliefs have created. This is the maya – the illusion – of physical reality and it’s not an easy task to learn to see past it.
I totally agree with you. Our our limiting beliefs do hold us back from moving forward, and from revealing who we really are. Realizing that we can change our experience by changing our belief system is very empowering.
Thank you so much for this insightful article.
.-= Angela Artemis´s last blog ..Global Healing June 21, 2010: Urgent Call to Action =-.
Hi Angela, Thank you for your kind words and adding to the article. It’s so empowering to realise that we can create our own reality, and even as I write this i know there are some readers who will not understand this concept as they are not quite ready for it yet.
I like this quote: “There comes a time, or several times, in your life when you have to make a choice between living in a reality that has been created by others or creating your own reality.”
It’s all about awareness and choice isn’t it? Well, throw in a bit of courage and we’ve got a great recipe.
.-= Susan Liddy´s last blog ..7 Reasons Why Exercise is Good for You! =-.
Hi Susan, it’s totally about choice and awareness, we choose to live in someone else’s reality, when we become aware of this we think about changing it, when we have the courage then we can change out world.
Posts like these are so helpful. The first step is illuminating the fact that these beliefs are running our lives. Once we know that, we can begin to illuminate and question why the beliefs exist, getting rid of those that don’t serve us well. You highlight CHOICE – so important – critical step-up to creator……from victim. Thank you.
.-= HappinessandWisdom´s last blog ..Quote About Happiness: Happiness Wisdom from Abraham-Hicks =-.
Hi M&H, thanks for your comments I really appreciate them, I like the going from victim to creator quote.
I love the idea of starting my own revolution!
.-= Claire – Gratitude Connection´s last blog ..Today I’m grateful for… =-.
Hi Claire, you’ve already started your revolution
Great post. I think it gets easier as we get older to do this. Not that it’s an age thing, but we get farther away from the influences that were so deeply embedded and that created those false beliefs in the first place. We grow into our own power. I feel more powerful at 46 than I ever did in my twenties. Late bloomer maybe, but there’s no time like right now to let go and follow your heart. Thanks Steven for the inspiration.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..A Slacker’s Guide to Getting Things Done =-.
Hi Katie, i think you are absolutely right about the ‘age thing’. I love the thought of us growing into our own power and I know exactly what you mean by this, i feel much more powerful now than I have ever done at any other point in my life. Thanks for a wonderful comment.
Hi Steven,
The first sentence of your post struck my attention and then I remembered one of my fave movie Waking Life… A part of the movie resembles something about your post… I admire your passion on mind “boggling” yet enlightening matters…
Thanks for the great resources as well!
Kudos
Hi Jen. I remember going to see ‘waking life’ at a small cinema in Glasgow and came out feeling enlightened in some way. thanks for your comments, always appreciated.
It is a sad fact to observe that most of us are prisoners of convention. This places us in an unnatural position in which we are constrained to do and not to do what society expects of us and not what our hearts dictate.
Belief system does have a very strong hold on the way people behave. I agree that these beliefs have been planted deeply in us at a tender age when we did not the mind and the heart to challenge them.
What should be do to free ourselves from the shackles of these spells? We need an overhaul of our belief system. Clear our minds, and stuff it with good concepts.
I have always subscribed to the idea of mental discipline, which I believe can be effected by mastering meditation. Meditation clears our minds, strengthens our will, and allows us to point its arrows to worthwhile beliefs.
.-= Percival J. Meris´s last blog ..Juice Fast Detox: Delectable Internal Body Cleansing and Weight Loss =-.
Hi Percival thanks for your thoughts on this. I certainly believe we need to look at our belief system as this is a fundamental part of the change process.
This is great advice. Thanks for posting this as it is so true. I just finished a book by author Carol Marleigh Kline called, “Streetwise Spirituality,” which also touches on this. She points out that living on autopilot can take the life out of life and that we need to take the initiative in our personal growth. The book was very inspiring and I hope you can check it out.
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Hi Audrey, thanks for the book recommendation, I will check this out.