There is an enormous fear associated with public speaking that is nothing short of a mythical phenomenon. It is listed as people’s Number 1 Fear in life, even above dying!
I call it irrational because when you are standing up in front of an audience, any audience, if you think about it quite logically, there is no threat to your life nor is there any risk to your safety. You are in fact in presence of golden opportunity on each occasion.
There are many possible outcomes of this occasion but let’s just consider the extremes. The worst outcome is that you do not acknowledge this golden opportunity at all (and you still survive the occasion unscathed!) The best outcome, however, is that you completely exploit the opportunity to your advantage, you learn something, you impact someone, you deliver a message, you make a difference, and you walk away fulfilled, energized and jazzed to do it all over again.
In this post, I am going to focus on achieving the latter outcome.
Between us, standing in front of a crowd and furthermore speaking to them can be terrifying and it’s easier to avoid it than to face it. But the thing is this, you cannot afford to avoid it. You realize you would be crazy not to take advantage of this opportunity when you fully understand the enormous benefits of developing sharp and polished communication skills.
This applies to everyone from every walk of life. Whoever you may be, whatever career or non-career path you may have, whatever your aspirations and goals or place in life, you come in contact with people and the ability to clearly and professionally express yourself to the society and the world around you is invaluable. It sets you apart immediately because believe it or not, this skill is not the norm in our society.
From one who was petrified and speechless at her first Toastmasters club meeting in 2003, to one who still gets nervous with butterflies but can manage her energy better now, I share with you the 10 Best Ways to help you manage that irrational fear and boost your Public Speaking to the levels of a Professional:
1. Keep it Professional: How should you behave and what personality should you assume on stage? Be your true self yet always remain professional in all your manners and your language. The audience may be casual and the setting may be relaxed but avoid getting too comfortable and remember you are the center of attention. With a professional and sincere presence, you can establish an immediate trust and respect between you and your audience.
2. Watch your Stance and Posture: Your stance, the position and bearing of the body while standing, will send a strong message about your self-confidence and credibility as a speaker. Have a confident stance with legs slightly apart and hands by your sides unless gesturing. Assume good posture by standing tall with shoulders pulled slightly back and arms relaxed. Don’t rock from side to side, dance, fidget, lean on one leg, put hands in pockets, fix your hair, stoop over a table or a chair while speaking. Don’t hide behind a podium or a chart or your notes. Be your best, tallest, most confident self.
3. Make Solid Eye Contact: This one is a difficult one and comes with practice but you should develop a solid eye contact as a good speaker. Eye contact means that you are talking and connecting with the audience on individual level. Avoid talking to the ceiling or the floor or your presentation slides (it could work fine if you are looking at the presentation to gather your thoughts but then speak to your audience). Make sure you are not darting your eyes or looking over your audience rather than at them. You are there to speak to them. To each and every one of them. Focused eye contact can give you a noticeable leverage in your speech and drive your message home well, one person at a time.
4. Leave your Hands at your Side: The hardest lesson which seems the most awkward is to have your hands at your sides when you are not gesturing. But that is where they belong. A professional speaking coach taught us this in a class years ago and if you video and watch yourself, you will see that hands at your side is indeed the most professional and naturally makes the gestures the most effective. Avoid fidgeting with your hands, making spider hands or Velcro hands or putting them in your pocket. Relax them at your side unless you are gesturing to make a point.
5. Use the Right words and No More: Thomas Jefferson once said “The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.” How smart and yet difficult to do. Think about the words you use. Enunciate them clearly. Be concise and to the point. Do not use more when less will do. You are up here because you have something to say, a message, a call to action. You are here to inspire or motivate or bring awareness. So use the time that is given to you well. Don’t over complicate it. Speak in simple terms and with sincerity. Avoid jargon and filler words such as “ah”, “uhm”, “like” , “so”, “and”, “you know” and while it may be awkward at first, you will sound polished and coherent to your listeners.
6. Remember to Use Pauses: There are few things with more impact on the listener in a speech than a well-placed pause. A pause that follows a call to action, a touching story you just shared, a key point in your overall message. A pause is not long, 2-3 seconds is more than enough yet it seems like an eternity of silence. Make friends with that silence and allow your listener to digest your strong messages and catch up and come along for the rest of the ride.
7. Practice Slow and Deep Breathing: There is nothing more natural than taking a quiet deep breath It relaxes you and your listeners. and Your Voice to speaking clearly, professionally, and with Purpose: Take a breath when you get nervous. Breathing brings out your voice. Your voice is your ally, your medium, your best friend. It delivers your message and connects with your audience.
8. Memorize your Beginning. They have quoted Plato to have said, “The beginning is the most important part of the work”. And so it is with public speaking. The first words you express will make a lasting impression (that impression thing, again!). I highly recommend that you memorize your beginning and practice it well beforehand. It may also be good practice to end with the same message to bring everything back full circle and remind your listeners the purpose of your talk.
9. Do not Apologize for Everything: If you forget something, or if you repeat something, or simply feel unprepared, do your best but do not apologize as it brings attention to something that must have gone wrong. Audience usually never notices until your apology which then brings it to surface.
It is all in the delivery.
10. Feign Confidence Til It Comes: In an advanced public speaking in California years ago, the instructor surprised us with this advice. “Fake your confidence until it becomes real!” If you are nervous, hide it with deep breathing, a smile and all previous 9 tips. It is imperative that you assume the position of a confident speaker for your listeners for them to trust you implicitly and immediately. This is not to be confused with deceiving your audience. It simply means appearing confident and truthful on what you know and admitting with the same confidence yet a humbling attitude to what you may not know, with assurance that you will learn the answer to follow back up with them.
“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – A favorite quote which I leave you with, adding that I sincerely hope you do not allow the irrational fear of speaking to be such a impediment to your bright presence and future.
Do you share in the fear of public speaking? Have you used any of these tips or care to share your thoughts on what has worked for you?
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Hi Farnoosh
Welcome to CYT.
This post is totally relevant to me just now as I get prepared for more video presentations and hope to turn these into seminar speaking. Your tips are great. I am a hands person so keeping my hands at my side is impossible but it’s a quirk I am happy to live with as I feel it gives more in the way of emotion and feeling.
Thanks for a wonderful article and i know you’ll get a warm welcome at CYT.
Steven, thank you for indulging me with such a warm welcome. I feel very privileged to be here.
Glad you like the tips. As far as the hands at our side, it is extremely difficult to adjust to, indeed. And they are not like military hands straight and taut, they are relaxed, and just resting by your side. This way, your well-placed gestures will carry a great impact on your audience. Think of it in terms of distractions too, if your hands are constantly moving, it’s hard for the audience to focus their best attention on your words…Look forward to those videos!
Hi Farnoosh, that’s an incredibly useful post and very relevant to me too. Leaving hands at your side is the hardest thing to learn, feels totally awkward:) And I liked “Feign Confidence Til It Comes” advice. Thanks!
Lana, I am so glad you find it useful…..Public Speaking, like many other things, is 1% knowledge, 99% practice so with practice, those relaxed hands by your side – when you are not gesturing – will come.
Mum’s the word here on feigning confidence bit! No one will know the difference.
These are fantastic! I use many of these techniques, plus sometimes visualization and some acupressure relaxation.
.-= Laura Poole´s last blog ..More on Balance =-.
Laura, I have seen you speak and learn from you each time I listen to you. Thank you for adding excellent tips to the list!
Farnoosh -
This is a really good post on how to overcome a mortal fear. I’ve worked with lots of people on this problem and think you’ve hit some of the major ways to overcome the fear. Two ideas I’d add – 1) Enjoy yourself – this is an opportunity to interact with others, and they’ll only have fun if you do. Be professional but be passionate and enjoy it 2) Create a comfort zone on the stage beforehand – designate a spot on the stage and spend a few minutes in it relaxing before the presentation. This is a place of comfort you can visit if things go wrong, you get nervous or you need reassurance. The comfort zone will bring you back to focus.
Thanks for a great post!
Phil
.-= Phil – Less Ordinary Living´s last blog ..Secret Games We Play and How to Win Them =-.
Phil, enjoying yourself is definitely a good one, an almost always forgotten one until everything is over and you realize it was actually fun to be up there, delivering a message, and having an audience of listeners…..And I love the second tip – esp. if the opportunity permits you to see the stage beforehand. Thank you!
Hi Farnoosh,
Wonderful post! Fear of public speaking is 100% irrational, but still everyone of us at some point or other have experienced it, and the most common reason seem to be, as you mention, the lack of enough understanding of the objective reality. I, personally, have struggled and still struggling with this fear, and certainly expect to be benefited by these 10 awesome points.
I especially liked the point you made.. “It sets you apart immediately because believe it or not, this skill is not the norm in our society.”, which is so damn true. Effective communication is indeed the key to succeed regardless of our field of endeavor.
I guess I shall have most difficulty in applying the 5th and 6th point in practice. As I generally tend to repeat the different phrases with the same meanings almost unconsciously. And also, when I speak, I seem to forget when it is apt to pause.
Anyways, fabulous article!
Cheers!
Hi SUMIT, it is a never-ending struggle with this irrational fear but the more you practice these points, the less of an obstacle the fear becomes. I think it is always there but it will be manageable at first and then that energy (of the fear) can be used as just enough excitement to get the adrenalin going without hampering a good performance. These tips take a while to master, and believe me when I tell you I am nowhere near mastering them – but the knowledge of them helps push me in the right direction. Best of luck, and glad you took some good things away!
Hi Farnoosh — I See you are over here today. You offer some great advice here. While I have been successful in the public speaking arena, I’d like to bring up a somewhat tangential point that applies to all of us doing video blogs these days. When I first tried the video blogs I came off very stiff and almost camera shy. I was very perplexed, given my experience in public speaking. As it turned out the format I was using was all wrong for me (sitting on stool & staring into the camera.) I abandoned those and came up with a free-form format that is much more natural. So, my advice to V-Bloggers is: experiment with different formats and find one that is right for YOU. (Of course you can see mine on my home page…Plug, plug… and follow Steve’s advice from before)
Hi rob, so I watched your video with the shiny fancy car and the drive down the road, and the conversation you were having….Man I was paying way too much attention to your wheels to remember how you seemed but stiff is not what I took away – of course that is not the video you refer to, and a good distinction. On video, we need to be even more relaxed and more interactive, and more personable than when managing a live 100 or 1000 person audience. Great tips, thank you!
Hi Farnoosh!!
What a wonderful article!! I have been involved in Toastmasters in the past – and found this to be such a great organization! And your points are right on!! So much good stuff there. The one that always jumps out at me is #9 – don’t apologize. If you don’t apologize, who’s really going to know you missed something???
Great stuff!!!!
.-= Lance´s last blog ..A Brother’s Story =-.
Lance, thank you! I am impressed that you were in Toastmasters. It IS a wonderful organization. The no apology rule is subtle but effective. It is for stuff that the audience really wouldn’t notice (certainly we would apologize for something that comes out obviously wrong or misconstrued) but not if it’s part of your speech and you go a direction different than intended or if you seem to forget something and have to pause…..I am sure you are a smooth talker anyway
!
Farnoosh,
this is a wonderful article, I have just finished a year at Toastmaster as I found when being interviewed I had a lot of UMs. One year on I have become a Competant Communicator, feel very confident and it has helped me with video. the skills are transferrable.
Suzie, a year at Toastmasters a notable accomplishment! Competent Communicator is a great milestone too, and those Uhmms just slip in there, they are so much part of our everyday conversation but belong very little in public speaking! Great to hear it and keep it up!
Great article, Farnoosh! I am sharing it with the members of my Toastmasters club.
Brian, that’s so nice and I am glad I will have critique and tips from fellow Toastmasters…feel free to come back and add more tips here for us!
Hello Farnoosh,
Thanks for these great tips. I also enjoyed reading the comments and tips of our other friends in this post.
Preparing a mental outline of the things I would discuss has always worked well for me. Before talking in front, I think of what I would say first, the points I would talk about and explain, and what message I want to leave my audience. This prevents me from getting lost in my talk and it makes my points easier to understand. I also sometimes practice on my own, saying aloud the things I will discuss.
In addition, having a mild sense of humor helps in connecting with my audience. I however make sure that the mild jokes are directed to myself or my personal experiences.
.-= Julius´s last blog ..How to Caption Videos in YouTube =-.
Julius, excellent tips on Preparing a Speech – which was outside the scope of this article but can lend itself to a brand new post. What you want to leave your audience with is a very effective approach to writing your speech, either literally or mentally in your head, and will keep you focused. Very good addition to our delivery tips here, thank you!
hi dearest Farnoosh,
your beauty has so attracted me that I can’t think about the main matter.
keep like this.
Hi Farnoosh, what a fantastic post!
I do quite a bit of public speaking, and while I don’t think I’ll ever be 100% comfortable in front of an audience, I certainly think practice makes a difference! I agree completely with all of your tips, but another one that a polished public speaker gave me once was to make sure you visit the toilet beforehand, and then to drink a glass of water – the first makes sure you don’t need to go at the wrong time, and the second reduces the need to drink during your presentation and gets your body and brain nicely hydrated. It works!
Topi
.-= Topi´s last blog ..Accountability =-.
Hi Topi, I think it’s the same for many of us – a work in progress forever in getting 100% comfortable in front of the audience, but a little nervousness can be managed and channeled as the right energy to help too. Thanks for the extra tip, that is the most necessary one – especially hydrating before you speak. I have forgotten to do that at times and I usually have my Oolong tea with me which is hardly a replacement for water, and I have experienced dryness in my mouth during the speech. Thank you!!!!
Hi Farnoosh,
Thanks for the great tips. I’m always nervous before I speak, but once I start it flows. I like the feigning confidence tip. That’s what I do for a few minutes. I have difficulty standing still. I will have to work on that.
Hi Simon,
I hear you on the nervousness, and you are right in that after a few seconds of hearing your own voice and looking at the attentive audience, it flows. As long as you can manage that initial nervousness, and memorizing the beginning of the speech is definitely helpful! Also have you tried to just pause 2-3 seconds (which may seem quite long) right before you speak. It lets you and the audience settle and anticipate, and during those seconds you can just breathe and relax and then off you go!!!
Farnoosh, thank you for your excellent post and encouraging pointers.
Memorizing your beginning is a good tip, but I would like to add that your speech or presentation itself is better not memorized (I have twice seen speakers totally blank out from stage fright fright when they did this).
Depending on the setup (whether or not there is a lectern) you can use a postcard or a small sheet of paper with headers of each topic you will cover in sequence, perhaps with key words. You can glance at this easily to keep you on track and within time. The whole point behind public speaking is to share what you know, so this is key – know what you are talking about – whether it is a formal presentation or a more informal chatting about personal experiences.
When you look at public speaking this way, the fun aspects emerge and you feel much more confident as you engage with your audience, sensing that people really do want to hear what you have to say about your topic or field of expertise. Your genuine wish to share and the genuine desire of your audience to hear, becomes an enjoyable, sometimes magical exchange that can benefit everyone.
I am very comfortable with public speaking after a lifetime’s experience which began with my “training” in the literary and debating society of my secondary school in Scotland!
My new balancing act is training myself to be more and more accomplished in Japan, where I deliver seminars and workshops that require my working through an Japanese interpreter. This demands a different sensitivity to the right timing in using pauses – an important point you mention.
However, next month, for a group of 100 senior citizens, I will be giving a speech and demonstration that I will personally attempt in Japanese. Right now I am practicing possible phrases that I will use! Although I feel just a little apprehensive, I know that public speaking is always about engaging with your public – it’s the engaging that matters, and as you so eloquently point out, you can do this by being aware, breathing, and making eye contact with your listeners. People know when you want to engage, and they forgive an awful lot when they can sense your sincerity and caring approach.
From the mountains of Japan – Catrien Ross.
.-= Catrien Ross´s last blog ..Catrien Ross on Finding 9 Powerful Meanings in Your Smile When You Don’t Feel Like Smiling =-.
Cartien, wonderful tips, really excellent and I am so envious of you being in Japan, let alone giving presentation in Japanese or through your interpreter. I know the complexities and intricacies of the Japanese culture from experience and trips to Tokyo and other parts of Japan and while I find it fascinating (and the language extraordinary beautiful) I have to commend you for your mastery at this very difficult task.
Yes I agree – memorizing entire speech is not the best approach but as someone else mentioned and I agree, knowing the highlights, the sections you wish to bring forth and the main key points you want to make…the exact phrasing and wording will fall into place during the speech.
Thank you so much for sharing a lifetime of public speaking with us and I have no doubt you have much more to add as it is a very difficult and relevant topic to all of us. So nice of you to take the time to share those thoughts and the very best during your upcoming senior citizen speech!
Nice post! Public speaking is definitely the number 1 fear, mainly because in your brain it’s hard-wired to death. Very good points though, posture is important in my opinion as well as making your audience laugh as early as possible – that normally settles you and them.
.-= Craig Thomas´s last blog ..6 Proven Ways To Make New Habits Stick =-.
Hi Craig, I never thought of it as “hard-wired to death” – that sounds both funny and perhaps partly true but as you can agree, quite irrational! Posture is important in everything we do but you are very right in that it is when you speak – and when you have the right tall posture, it exudes confidence! The early use of humor is a brilliant tip, if it fits the occasion. Thanks for your thoughts!
Its a really nice most to remove fear of public speaking. very motivational. international shipping
Remove it or mitigate and minimize it….thank you for the comment, maria!
Great article Farnoosh. I would also add:
11. Decide what kind of speaker you want to be:
Find your public speaking niche; what are you good at?
What are you suited to?
What are you passionate about?
Who do you want your audience to be?
What is your key message; your mission?
Do you want to do it professionally?
Are you an educator… “Okay class, let’s take a look at the physiological benefits of progressive resistance training for the elderly”
Are you a motivator… “I’m not interested in your comfort or enjoyment, I’m interested in results… now stop whining, stop bleeding and get up off the floor!!”
(Mmm… maybe that’s a masochist!)
Are you an entertainer… “hey guys, a funny thing happened on the way here tonight… “
12. Have a U.S.P.
In business we want something which separates us from our competitors; we call this a Unique Selling Proposition. If you want a successful career as a speaker then you need to give people a reason to want to utilise your services. People always have options… so we want to be the best option (eventually)… or a better option at least.
13. Spend significant time writing, preparing and committing your presentations to memory. You need to (1) have great content (fresh, interesting, challenging, stimulating, confronting, funny, relevant) and (2) you need to know your stuff inside-out.
The better you know your material, the more relaxed you will be in front of your group.
Looking at notes repeatedly while you speak… not cool.
14. Practice often.
In the car.
In front of the mirror.
To your dog, cat, rabbit… plants!
Recruit an audience… your family perhaps.
15. Get feedback.
When you do any presentation (even if it’s a dry run in front of friends or family) ask for constructive feedback. Don’t be precious and consciously work on your weaknesses.
16. Film your presentation.
Want some real perspective?… watch yourself on film.
The first time I saw myself on video (it was the 80’s) I was totally weirded out by all of my little public speaking idiosyncrasies and habits… I repeated myself, I spoke too fast, I spoke with my back to the audience (as I wrote on a board), I kept rolling up my sleeves in this kind of unconscious nervous little ritual thingy (embarrassing) and my finish was about as exciting and empowering as porridge.
I hated watching myself.
But what it did was let me see what everyone else sees.
Not a particularly comfortable process but a valuable one.
I instantly became a better presenter after that.
(I didn’t want to put anyone through that pain again).
17. Do freebies.
Every public speaker has done hundreds of freebies along the way.
You can only develop a skill… by practising that skill.
Reading about, talking about and thinking about public speaking doesn’t improve your actual skills…. public speaking improves your public speaking skills.
18. Be able to present on different topics… or at least variations of the same topic.
If you can speak (competently) on a broad range of subject matter, you are more likely to be in demand.
19. Study other speakers.
Next time you watch another (quality) public speaker, take a look at the process through the eyes of a student public speaker; you will learn a bunch.
Watch how they engage their audience, their timing, their use of (appropriate) humour, how they dress, how they incorporate their audio-visual stuff, how they start, how they conclude.
20. Create opportunities
“So Sam, tell me a bit about yourself…”
“Well I actually do a bit of public speaking in the health and fitness area…”
“Hey that’s fantastic… how would you like to talk to my team of fat sales execs?”
21. Join a public speaking organisation
There are some great organisations (like toastmasters) who get like-minded people together and help them develop their public speaking skills and careers.
22. Don’t be impatient.
If public speaking is something that you might want to do long term, don’t be impatient.
Spend adequate time learning, watching, researching, practising and developing before you rent your first ten thousand seat auditorium.
Be ambitious.
And realistic.
And patient.
23. Know your audience.
Research the company, organisation, group that you’re speaking to.
What kind of group are they?
Will there be thirty or three hundred in the audience?
Are they corporates, are they truck drivers, are they predominantly male or female, are they kids, are they students… have they been presented to before?
Talk to the organiser (the person who gave you the gig) and get some insight into your audience.
24. Use audio-visual aids when appropriate and relevant.
The occasional well-placed video or slide can be a valuable addition to a presentation and can provide you with a nice opportunity to re-group, collect your thoughts and take a look at your crowd.
This concept is not to be confused with the mindlessly-boring presenter who feels compelled to base his entire presentation around a series of slides, photographs, charts and statistical tables.
(all high-lighted with his laser pointer gizmo).
If I see you doing that, I’ll hurt you.
25. Don’t rush your material.
Don’t talk too fast, don’t try and present too much information and don’t have too many slides (if you are doing a power-point presentation). Not too long ago I sat in a presentation where the speaker had over forty slides for a forty minute presentation.
It was a disaster and it hurt my brain.
26. Have a great finish.
Leave them inspired, challenged, excited, curious and impressed.
.-= Motivational Speaker – Craig Harper´s last blog ..The back-slapping, high-fiving, mantra-chanting, group-hugging, fire-walking, fist-pumping Club =-.
Craig, clearly, the wrong person wrote this guest post
! I am beyond impressed with your list, and thrilled to meet a motivational speaker, a long lost dream I had along the way which I may someday pursue again. Motivational speakers must have one of the most rewarding jobs on this planet, and one of the most difficult. I have nothing to do, except that I quite agree with everything you have said here – and how I wish more people in the corporate world (and everywhere else really) took these simple tips to deliver better messages. I also love “writing voice” – it is one that I can hear spoken with passion and intention. Thrilled to have another 15 fantastic tips added to the original list as I am sure are all the other readers here.
Fanoosh, thank you for a very helpful topic. It’s true that the top leaders in any field are those who can communicate effectively in public, especially through public speaking. And Craig Harper’s comments were jam packed with information (see the comment above me:). I took a brief session of Toastmaster’s training when I helped the club come to a college I was working for. It’s fantastic training, and I highly recommend it to everyone. Come to think of it, I need to put re-joining in my list of goals for the near future
.-= Steve-Personal Success Factors´s last blog ..You Can Use Gary Vaynerchuk’s Key Success Factor! =-.
Hi Steve, yes Craig’s list was quite comprehensive, see my response which was hardly adequate thanks. Do rejoin Toastmasters, give it at least 2-3 meetings and a couple of speeches, you will not be sorry to be back among some of the most supportive groups in the public speaking arena…..best of luck and thanks for commenting!
Excellent list of tips. The microphone pic is a great choice of images for this post. It almost looks like a monster ready to devour it’s closest victim!
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..Kennewick and Richland Police Departments Offering Seminar for Landlords =-.
Thanks Colleen…the choice of image and all kudos on that goes to Steve himself. It is quite the visual aid we need to remind us of the fear and anxiety. It is looking like a monster but I assure it it won’t devour its “audience”, it will embrace them and deliver a strong message to help them become better people in one way or another!
Hello Farnoosh. Between you and Craig now, I have some great information for speaking. In fact, I just did my first presentation two days ago in front of about 30 college students. It was absolutely amazing! Better than I thought it would be. I’d echo about knowing material inside and out. I spent about 16 hours rehearsing my material over and over in the car, walking around the house, in front of my cats, in front of my wife, and it paid off.
I look forward to doing it again. Thanks for sharing this.
.-= Jeremy Johnson´s last blog ..Approach Motivation and Avoidance Motivation =-.
Jeremy, exactly! Now I have a co-author in Craig in this article and it indeed makes for a great list of stuff! Congrats on your first presentation!! It’s wonderful to hear it surpassed your own expectations. Practice is key to success in all things and especially in public speaking, so bravo and thanks for your message!
amazing post. . . . i plan to print it and stick it on my wall till every point gets stuck in my mind
thanks!
.-= TheAnand´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at =-.
TheAnand, read the list often but don’t’ forget to practice each point so it becomes a habit. Thanks for your thoughts!!
Hi Farnoosh,
Thanks for the post. Here was my favorite part:
“Fake your confidence until it becomes real!”
This is SO true! And of course, it applies to other areas of life, too. I’ve heard a similar phrase “Fake it ’til you make it.”
I’ve found that building confidence in this sense is much like building a muscle. It takes some practice, but change can happen pretty quickly if one is committed. Being confident eventually becomes a habit.
.-= Greg Blencoe´s last blog ..How to get your ideal boyfriend/girlfriend =-.
Hi Greg, nice of you to compare it to muscle building – it reminds me I need to do some more weight training but point well taken and just like muscle building, there is pain but a joyful kind of pain along the way, as we all know. You are very welcome and so nice to see you here!
Hi Farnoosh
Your point number 10 is the one that I emphasis…”Feign Confidence Til It Comes.”
I read somewhere that if the audience think you are confident, then you are confident. Sounds good to me.
Trouble is, we can hear the slightest tremble in our own voice and just assume that the audience can hear it.
Truth is… they can’t.
Best way to sort out those nerves is to join a Speakers Club, Toastmasters internationally or The Association of Speakers Clubs in the UK, and get lots and lots of practice.
.-= Keith Davis´s last blog ..A helping hand… =-.
Well-said Keith. They cannot hear the tremble in our voice or the butterflies in our stomach and many other small signs of nervousness. And there is no way to overemphasize what you said about the speaking club! Thanks for your comment.
Hi Farnoosh,
Love your post. The more people who let this so-called ‘fear of speaking’ go the better.
More than 30 years of speaking has taught me no matter what ‘method’ you use, there’s 3 things you need to do to truly get past it for good.
1. Understand It. Most people imagine they’re afraid of public speaking. That’s a mistake. They’re just afraid.
2. Love It. Do you hate speaking sometimes? Behind all ‘hate’ is fear. Only Love conquers fear. Love is a verb. If you don’t choose to love speaking, you’ll always be afraid.
3. Practice It. Most speakers don’t get anywhere near enough practice. The site has online public speaking exercises so you can get tons of practice, and constructive comments. It’s the only site that does that.
Thanks again
.-= Brian Clough´s last blog ..Apr 29, Public Speaking Facts =-.
Brian,
The most painful truth you wrote here in those 3 things. It went right to my core. Thank you for summarizing so well, far better than I did in the post, and for leaving us with such powerful and yet simple thoughts. I’ll be sure to visit your site now. Thanks again!!!
Hi Eddy,
It’s not easy but taking that step is better than letting fear not allow us even near it. The worst outcomes are still worth the experience and potentially great results of just doing it. Thanks for your comment!
Farnoosh recently posted..Yoga Flow Series 6- Tapping into Energy
This is so damn true Steve. I had a Public speaking workshop this Monday and Tuesday. So very true about the pauses, body fillers and pause fillers and hand movements…
My trainer added one additional point… to mix Dynamic and Charismatic styles.
Dynamic – where the speed of your words matches the 150+ beats per minute on the piano. Your hand movements need to be precise – no curves, see hand movements in this Anthony Robbins speech… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aziR4KRMh44
Charismatic – where you talk at a speed of close to 120 bpm and your hand movements have more grace… they are slower than your usual hand movements…
Makes a lot of sense…
Thank you for these great tips here, dear Sridhar and you must forgive me for coming back here a lot later to thank you ….. I must’ve missed the notice about a new comment. No matter, real helpful, thanks!!
I find that the key to public speaking is overcoming the fear of anything going wrong. If you do a lot of work as a public speaker, the law of averages dictates that something will go wrong at some point. Just accept it, but make sure you have a plan B or something humerous to say when the inevitable happens!
Hey Stacey, that’s a great great point things will go wrong and how we manage them at that moment says EVERYTHING about us as a person, a speaker, a trustworthy figure. THANK YOU for this reminder!