Furthermore, this power is not restricted to people that you know. In fact, it actually extends to people you have only seen once, and that you have never even spoken to. That’s right, with almost no effort you can change the state of a complete stranger in a moment, from a distance, without a word. How’s that for influence?

As intriguing as this power is, it is really a very specialized form of communication. Let’s look at some possible candidates.

Verbal communication skills

In an effort to influence other people, most of us tend to rely on verbal communication skills. Why? Because being able to express our thoughts and feelings accurately and convincingly is a powerful skill. We have all been persuaded, motivated, or otherwise moved by the words of skilled communicators.

Whether delivered by a captivating speaker, a talented author, or a persuasive friend, well crafted words have the power to touch our hearts and stimulate our thinking. But this article is not about the influential power of words, and here’s why. For our words to be able to touch somebody’s life, they need to be heard or read. Remember, I said you could use this power of influence from a distance, without speaking to the other person.

How about body language?

There is no doubt that our body language has a strong influence on the way others view us. Yes, body language conveys a powerful, subconscious message to everyone who sees us, even from a distance. So body language is most definitely an influential means of communication.

Is body language the secret power of influence we are looking for? Even though body language is an effective way to communicate nonverbally, and to influence how others perceive us, it doesn’t really have the power to change their mental state. So, it’s effect is limited.

How about our external trappings?

This is a large category that includes the clothes we wear, the car we drive, the cost of our wristwatch or jewelry, the home we live in, and various things like that. There’s no denying it, those things do get other people’s attention.

Really though, external trappings are just an extension of our body language. They may convey a message about our current financial status, but again, all that does is influence people’s perception of us, not their mental state. So, what is this powerful yet specialized form of communication we are looking for?

Here’s a clue

Imagine that you make eye contact with someone walking down the street who looks sad. What could you do to to help them? What secret power could you release in a moment, without a word, that would help them feel better right now?

Perhaps you are the one walking down the street feeling blue, and someone else makes eye contact with you from 10 feet away. What could that person do to add a little shot of joy to your life instantly?

Did you figure it out?

If not, don’t feel bad. It’s probably because the answer is so obvious and simple. OK, here’s how you can use your influence to instantly change someone else’s mental state. First, look them straight in the eyes, and then, give them a warm, sincere smile. Wasn’t that easy?

Smiling at other people has the power to change their focus and lift their spirits in an instant. It’s a friendly little gesture that forms an immediate connection between you and them. Smiling also sends a powerful message of good will. Amazingly, a smile can reach clear across a room and touch the heart of a complete stranger. Now that’s powerful!

Think of your own experiences

How do you react when you are just going about your daily business, and someone you don’t even know smiles at you for no discernible reason? My guess is, you smile back, right? It’s the natural reaction.

Now tell me this, how does exchanging smiles with someone else make you feel? It feels good, doesn’t it? So smiling is a simple way to make everybody feel better immediately. That’s a pretty wonderful ability to have at your disposal, don’t you think?

Use your power of influence

Why not make a special effort to use this power liberally to improve your life, and the lives of those around you? Go ahead, exercise this great power every chance you get and see if it doesn’t completely transform the quality of your life.

Don’t be surprised if people are attracted to you like a magnet, even though they won’t consciously know why. The important thing is, you will know why, and you will feel really good about it. In fact, it will probably make you smile!

Let me give you an example.  At the right hand side of this blog post there is a chicklet which tells you how many people have subscribed to this blog, to date there are about 2500 subscribers.  This is a form of social proof, it is a statement saying ‘Look, there are already 2500 people who have subscribed to this blog; it must be worth subscribing to’.  Little do we know it but we are being influenced every day by different forms of social proof.

This is why celebrities get paid millions to advertise products as the advertising company know that with a celebrity endorsement it could potentially bring in millions of pounds in extra sales.  When you see the likes of Nicole Kidman advertising Channel No 5 and then learn that it boasted sales by 30%, according to Euromonitor, you’ll realise the power of social proof.

Okay how can you use social proof in your everyday life to influence others with the use of social proof?  Here are 5 ways to do just that.

5 Ways to use social proof to influence others

1. Use others behaviours – When trying to influence people to do something for you at work, for example get them to sign a sponsor sheet for you, you could say ‘Will you sign my sponsor sheet..’ and show them a list of people who the person already likes who have signed.

What if there is someone who everyone despises who has signed your sponsor sheet, then you simply make separate sponsor sheets.  This is quite simplistic but I think you get what I mean.

Another example could be if you are trying to get your child to do something they don’t really want to you could mention one of their friends who are already doing the activity you want your child to do. This might sound like manipulation, and you’re right it is, but we all unconsciously use it everyday without realising it. 

2.  Link yourself – Linking yourself simply means making yourself known and be seen with another person who is considered popular, intelligent, cool, important or influential.  Think about the most popular person at school and think about their friends, did you think their friends must have something for the popular person to hang around with them? This is linking yourself.  For some, it happens by accident and the influential person wants to know you and you suddenly have better standing in your community whether you like it or not.

3. Testimonials – For those of you who have websites you’ll know the power a testimonial from someone in your field can have on your website sales or sign ups.  Using a testimonial is crucial if you are looking to sell anything on your website.  It is telling your visitors that others are using your product so it is worth buying.  When someone is trying to decide if they should buy something or not, using a testimonial cuts down the decision making time if an influential person is already endorsing the product.

4. Socialising to attract others – If you are trying to attract a member of the opposite sex, using social proof can help your chances of attracting the person you desire.  For example if your dream date is a beautiful blonde, then talking to other beautiful blondes will up the chances of you getting to talk to the beautiful blonde you’re trying to attract.  How do you get to talk to beautiful women in the first place? Simple, hang out with people your workplace who know you well and you get on reasonably well with.  When you are seen with other beautiful people it will increase your chances of other beautiful people being attracted to you.  Sad but true.

5. Socially brave – A lot of people are scared of one thing or another.  If you want to overcome a certain fear observe someone similar to yourself who is also afraid but manages to overcome it.  This will help you bypass some of the doubt you have and give you the courage to go for it.  For example if you are afraid of speaking in public, attend a toastmaster’s session and observe someone similar in age and status to you and watch them.  By doing this you start to realise that there is noting to be afraid of.  You have to be careful with this one also, as observing someone who is younger, smarter and more confident than you might make you even more scared.

Social proof is a powerful force in our lives and if we learn to recognise it we can use it to our advantage.