The following are some examples of fiction that people regard as true:

“Things always go wrong.”  “He makes me so mad.” “I can’t change how I feel. “I’ll never love again.” “It’s all my fault.”  “I’m a loser.”

Notice the distorted thinking, and irrational words such as “always, never, “can’t” and the fortune telling in the phrase “I will never love again!” How can anyone predict the future with certainty?

Changing these distorted interpretations to stick to the facts looks like this:

“Things do not go the way I wished very often.”  “I was mad when he said that.” “It is hard to change the way I feel.” and “It might be hard to love again, but I will sure try.”  “I feel partly responsible.”  “I am just as worthy as everyone else.”

As a psychotherapist, I often find the more depressed and anxious a client is, the more they live in the land of fiction that they take as fact.  For example, just the other day I had a client tell me that her children are misbehaving so much, and she blames herself for her drug, alcohol and sexual promiscuity in her teens which she thinks resulted in her having such difficult children.  She felt she was being punished for her past, and was getting “paid back” for being a problem teen.  She felt this way despite the fact that at the ripe age of 45 she had been leading a law abiding life as a mother, wife, and school teacher for 20 years!    Her lack of self- forgiveness for her past regretful behavior loomed larger than life, even though those behaviors were of the distant past.  Yet, they still defined her as a person, and she became a person not defined by her dreams and aspirations, but rather her disappointments and her poor choices.

Separate Fact From Fiction Takeaways

• Many thoughts we treat as facts are really interpretations
• Many interpretations are so automatic we do not know they’re not fact
• Examine your thought habits so that you are aware of what is your “default” way of thinking – only then can you change them.
• As you can discern facts from your take on things, you will feel more positive and empowered
• Realize when you are just telling yourself stories!  Nothing is wrong with being a story teller – just know when you are!
• Stop upsetting yourself with nonsense that you believe to be true
• Stop over-catastrophizing and making mountains out of molehills
• Refuse to feel like a victim and feel more like a victor
• Be more solution focused and not problem focused

Activity for Your Separating Fact From fiction

Take a magnifying glass to remind you to be “thought detective” to look behind what you are thinking and identify distorted thinking that is fiction rather than fact. Remind yourself that when we interpret, we are telling ourselves stories.  There is nothing wrong with stories – but just know that they are not real or true!

Remember, when you can not separate fact from fiction, one plus one does not equal 2, and not even 11, but numbers that don;t make sense, like 145!  And the more irrational you live in the land of fiction, the higher the numbers go up!

So take your magnifying glass and identity your thought habits – and make sure you can distinguish between the stories you tell yourself and the actual facts at hand!

Several years ago, I was working twelve-hour days as a lawyer, eating processed food on the go, not exercising, and drinking copious amounts of coffee and Diet Coke. As I rushed to catch the last train home after a particularly late night at work, I wondered to myself, “How did I get here?” The answer was something I hadn’t been able to admit before. I was addicted to work. My life, identity, and value had become all about work without me even noticing.

Like a smoker addicted to nicotine, I’d become addicted to the buzz I felt from a well-written legal brief or well-argued motion. It wasn’t the work itself that I was addicted to, but rather the approval and validation I was seeking from my colleagues when they affirmed that I was smart, capable, and worthy. And like a smoker who needs more nicotine to get the same fix, I was never satisfied with the praise that I did get and was always seeking more.

I was in serious need of a work detox. I’m sure you’ve heard of popular detox diets like my favorite, Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Diet. They recommend you become more aware of what you eat, stop eating certain foods to cleanse your body of harmful toxins, and break bad eating habits. It’s the same idea for a work detox. You become more aware of your relationship to work, stop working in ways that are toxic to your psyche, and break bad working habits. My work addiction was about seeking approval. What’s your work addiction about?

Signs You May Need A Work Detox

Is any of this sounding familiar? Well here are some signs that you might need to break your dependency on work:

• You devote most of your time, energy, and thoughts to work.
• You feel stressed or anxious about work when you’re not working.
• Your personal relationships have deteriorated or decreased in number.
• You don’t feel like you have time for hobbies or creative outlets.
• You don’t allow yourself to laugh, play, or be silly.
• You’re afraid if you don’t “work hard,” then you’ll be a failure.
• You’re passive aggressive, resentful, or overly competitive with colleagues.
• You’re working longer, but not accomplishing more.

Why Go on a Work Detox

Work is the main source of identity in our culture. We want to know what others do for work, and feel compelled to tell them about our own work, even if we have to make it sound better than it is. Sometimes we take it too far and rely on work to determine our self worth.

It’s a losing game, however, to depend on work to determine our identity, value, and significance. We end up limiting our ability to fully express who we are. When we spend all of our time working or obsessively checking our work email, we leave no space for other parts of our identities.

We forget we are not our work. Before my work addiction, I’d been able to see that I was also a supportive sister, loyal friend, committed activist, reluctant runner, water lover, and outdoor adventurer. But I’d neglected these aspects of my identity.

There are lots of reasons we do this. I was seeking validation. Maybe you’re trying to please or impress your parents, your spouse, or a potential mate. You might be trying to fill a hole in your personal life or escape a bad relationship. Perhaps you’re like many and are scared you’re going to lose your job or not be able to make enough money. Whatever your reason, you can benefit from a work detox.

The Benefits of a Work Detox

By owning and cultivating a diverse identity and rich life beyond work, you take yourself out of the losing game of over identifying with work. You’ll start to live with a new set of rules more aligned to your values. From that place, a lasting sense of personal worth is possible.

Time and energy you’ve devoted to work can now be re-focused on activities that you’re internally motivated to do. You’ll begin to break your bad habit and create a new relationship with work that allows you to:

• Do the things that energize and excite you other than work.
• Spend more time with friends and family.
• Improve your personal relationships in and outside of work.
• Develop or rekindle a hobby or creative outlet.
• Laugh and be playful.
• Realize that you are more than your work.
• Feel more confident in who you are.

How To Start A Work Detox

With awareness, you can begin to change habits, shift perspectives, and explore ways of cultivating your identity outside of work. Here are some starting points:

Consider how you would work differently if you knew you were leaving. Would you feel less attached to the work? Would you limit your work responsibilities and hours? How would you feel going to work? How would your interactions be different? Your answers represent what work would be like when you’re not over identified with it.

Be honest about how much time you actually need to spend working. Are you mismanaging your time? Are you staying late simply to impress others? By working less, we often can actually increase our productivity.

Commit to 2 weeks when you’ll work less and focus on other parts of your identity. Create a schedule and include on your calendar time with the important people in your life and time for you to do things besides work.

Carve out time for what’s joyful and meaningful. Recover a hobby, take a class, or take up a sport. Pick one thing that you can do consistently so that it becomes part of your routine.

Be social. Get together with friends for dinner or host a dinner party where no one can talk about work. Repair or renew friendships with people who make you feel good about yourself. Build strong relationships based on who you are and not what you achieve.

In my own work detox, I stopped working so much. At first, I didn’t know what to do with my extra time. I couldn’t find the inspiration for a new hobby so I simply began taking better care of myself. I started going to weekend farmers markets, cooking my own meals, and inviting friends to join me for some of them. I slowly added in new activities, like hiking on the weekends. Over time, I became more efficient at my job as a result of working less. I returned to what inspired me about the work and became more creative and productive. Eventually, I started to recognize that I’m more than just my job.

10. Budget your work

Just as you would budget your money, budget your work. Decide what you need to get done versus what you want to get done. Split your work up into 3 categories:

* What I must do now
* What I must do later
* How much time will each of these tasks take?

It’s important through this routine to stay happy and not become a workaholic, because that defeats the purpose of personal growth through productivity. Be sure to budget your work and give yourself some downtime. However, don’t put down an important task while you’re still in the middle of it. Finish, and then relax.

9. Stay organized

Personally, I believe that organization and productivity go hand in hand. If you’re the type of person that keeps a clean desk and living area, then chances are you’re the type of person that gets things done efficiently and effectively.

8. Believe in yourself

This is important for anything you do. Remind yourself that you can accomplish something if you put your mind to it. This is usually easier to do if you’ve worked on a solid goal-setting routine so you have an idea of what you want to accomplish.

7. Set goals
As I just mentioned, an effective goal-setting routine is a great way to keep yourself in a good attitude about finishing things. Set little goals for yourself throughout your working routine, as well as bigger goals to work toward. This will make staying productive fun, easy, and even more productive.

6. Think productive thoughts

I’m sure you’ve noticed how I’ve been saying the word ‘productive’ somewhat redundantly throughout this article. That’s because I feel that the more you put thoughts of productivity into your head, the better your working experience will be! It’s better thinking about what you’re working on than thinking ‘what’s on TV tonight?’ or ‘I wonder how many diggs my story has..?’. It goes without saying that when you’re determined to get things done, you tend to do a better job than when you’re determined to procrastinate.

5. Enjoy what you’re doing

We want to make the good things last, right? This is why you should make your mindset positive about getting things done. Allow yourself to find the fun and enjoyment in being productive, rather than focusing on the cons. You’ll want to stick with something if you’re having fun doing it.

4. Be satisfied with your downtime

Make sure that what you’re doing in your free time is beneficial to your happiness. It’s much better to spend time with family or friends than to sit around and hang out alone. If you’ve enjoyed the time you’ve had with the special people in your life, you’re more likely to be confident and satisfied about getting back to work.

3. Stay healthy!

No one can be productive if they’re sick or feeling crumby, right? It’s extremely important to keep a good diet and healthy lifestyle. Go to the gym or go for a run every day or two and establish solid, healthy eating habits. Not only will this make you more productive, it will keep you happy and free from anxiety.

2. Relax

Don’t get stressed out about your work. Handle the situation maturely and positively by staying calm while getting things done. Your life is important, so don’t waste your time and enjoyment worrying about the little things.

1. Do what works for you

Use these tips in your daily productive life, of course, but also personalize the working plan. Try out different things and see what ones work for you. Everyone is different, and we all have unique ways of getting things done. The best favor you can do for yourself is use this post as a guide to help you along the way while implementing your own productive habits into your lifestyle.

If we want to be ‘productive people’ it’s important to stay productive once we’ve started. No working routine is going to stick if you haven’t gone to proper measures to keep it going. Remind yourself of these steps when you’re working to help you stay productive, happy, and healthy. So, keep moving along the productivity path, and enjoy it!

About The Author

Charlie is a student who writes personal development related articles. He focusses on positive thinking, productivity and zen related subjects in his posts and also adds in helpful tips on how to integrate technology into developing a positive living experience. Check out his blog at ich4z.blogspot.com/ you will no doubt be hearing a lot more from him in the future.