About Steven AitchisonThis is a series of 3 articles looking at self discipline, willpower and motivation.
Self discipline – Taming the lazy monkey
Every morning I have a freezing cold shower, why? Because part of my mind
says ‘Don’t do it, it’s just stupid’ and that same
part of my mind give’s lots of different reasons not to do it. Each
morning I fight that inner voice and discipline it to accept that I am taking
a freezing cold shower. I believe there are benefits
to having a cold shower which is why I started the discipline in the first
place.
Self discipline is a skill and once you get to grips with it, it can alter
your life.
What is it?
Self discipline is the training of your mind to control, perceived harmful,
urges, and to continue to control these urges until a satisfactory resolution
has been sought
Self discipline occurs in every part of your life right now, you might not
have recognised it but it does. When you get out of bed in the morning
to go to work, that is self discipline; when you brush your teeth every morning,
that is self discipline; when you have a shower or a bath every morning, that
is self discipline. Although you might not have recognised it as such
we use this skill every day in our lives.
Imagine if you harnessed this power to change different aspects of your life. There
are many areas of your life it could benefit; in fact it could benefit every
area of your life. If you want to give up smoking, no matter what programs
are available to do so, it ultimately comes down to self discipline. If
you want to lose weight, yes it’s great that there are groups of people
who are doing the same as they can be a good motivator but again it comes down
to self discipline.
Who’s in control of your mind?
With television, computers, e-mail, radio, mobile phones, video, iPods, newspapers,
magazines, etc there has never been an easier way to reach our minds through
advertising. A lot of us don’t realise that we are all being manipulated
in some way to do things that may be harmful to us. I am not talking
conspiracy or anything like that, it’s been a natural progression. Advertisers
have become a lot smarter and appealed to our psyche rather than our rational
minds, there are some great adverts out there which slip into our minds and
build up and eventually get us to act to buy something or do something.
For example our children, especially at this time of year, they are bombarded
with adverts for toys and they have to have the latest thing. Why is
so much spent on advertising for children when it’s the adults who are
buying? Because it’s the children who ultimately apply the pressure for
us to buy the latest toy. We all give in and buy that toy don’t
we.
The practice of self discipline
Whilst it’s hard to control your thoughts and actions as a child it
should be easier for an adult, you would think! However this is not necessarily
the case. If you’ve not been taught self discipline as a child
how are you expected to self discipline yourself as an adult?
The truth is self discipline comes automatically for some us as our responsibilities
become greater. For example when we get a job, we have to get up at
a set time, we have to work a set number of hours, we have to conform to the
companies rules and procedures, that’s all self discipline. Usually
the things we learn to practice self discipline in are the things we are rewarded
with e.g. our job, going to the gym, saving money, making love. Depending
on the person some of these rewards will be bigger and have more meaning than
some of the others.
What good would self discipline have in your life?
What if you could practice self discipline in everything you do? How would
your life change? Would it change? Think of these questions for a moment.
Some of the areas in your life you could change might be;
- The amount of time spent with the kids
- Your weight
- Your fitness
- The tidiness of your house
- The tidiness of your office
- The cleanliness of your house
- Fixing all the broken things in your house (fix that shelf once and for
all) - The amount of time spent watching TV
- Watching what you eat
- Fasting for one day per week
- Having a cold shower every morning
- Get your finances sorted out
- Write those letters you’ve been meaning to write
- Make the phone calls you’ve been meaning to make
- Organise your life
- Getting up early to be thankful of all the things you have
The list could go on and on and I am sure you could add a few as well, let
me know what you would add.
The next article will look at willpower, which is different from self discipline in many ways.
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I’m working at this in my life, but something is so hard, because all around us are so much attention grabbers, and huh.I have to gain 100% control of my thoughts as quickly I can.
Hi Mitza
You’re right it is extremely difficult to block out the attention grabbers.
A quick tip, don’t look at the bigger picture just now. Concentrate on 1 thing at a time, if you can be mindful of your thoughts for 15 minutes a day, thats 15 minutes more than normal. Build it up from there. Builders build a house brick by brick. You strengthen your mind day by day.
Good luck Mitza
Hi there,well I’m young and going to school,I work at a dounut shop for now with all these wonderful sweets and I’m addicted to sweets I’m tring to watch it but it’s hard when their right there in your face……
Kimberly
What ways could you get around this?
Hi Steve
Over the last months I have been looking for ways to help myself be a better worker, have a cleaner home and finally start working on my writing.
I have come to realise that lack of self-discipline has always been at the core of all of my many failures. Is there a method you can suggest which could help me with this. I am not a very strong person in this sense though.
Many thanks
Hi Lisa, I suspect you might be looking at the bigger picture. Take it in small steps.
For example, you say you want a cleaner home. It maybe that when you think of cleaning your home you are looking at the mammoth task of cleaning the whole house and then giving up. Instead of looking at cleaning the whole house look at cleaning just one room, when you have done that go on to the next room. When you find yourself thinking ‘I’ve still got x amount of rooms left to tidy’ go back and focus on the one room. When you finish tidying one room it will give you, hopefully, a sense of achievement and this will spur you on for the next room.
With regards to your work, you can use the same method of breaking it down into small steps. I don’t know what your line of work is, but every job can be broken down into tasks for the day or tasks for the week. Go through one task at a time or a few tasks at a time and set yourself a time limit. Make it a habit of finishing the tasks.
Writing is the same. However getting past the outcome of your writing may be challenging. When you write, let go of the outcome i.e. write because you love it not because you want to be a published author. Letting go of the outcome will help you tremendously with anything in life. When you let go of the outcome of a task, the task becomes infinitely easier and less stressful.
I hope this helps.
Hi Steven,
I agree with you completely in that self-discipline can alter lives!
Cold showers are great for self discipline! I’m trying to get into the habit myself. So far I’ve noticed increased concentration and alertness. I actually stumbled upon your website while I was researching it via google
You have a great site here. Congrats
Good post. You make some great points that most people do not fully understand.
“Self discipline occurs in every part of your life right now, you might not
have recognised it but it does. When you get out of bed in the morning
to go to work, that is self discipline; when you brush your teeth every morning,
that is self discipline; when you have a shower or a bath every morning, that
is self discipline. Although you might not have recognised it as such
we use this skill every day in our lives.
”
I like how you explained that. Very helpful. Thanks.
It is so great,motivational and mind traning write up, that can build a man that wants to build himslef.
Hi there,I’m currently trying to nurture self discipline. Indiscipline is at the core of all my failures, all the dreams I haven’t pursued. I’m undisciplined because I get away with a lot of things, I can submit assignments last minute…and I use the excuse that I work well under pressure. It’s true that its difficult to do it when you take on large tasks, break it down into smaller ones.
hay steve, i do parkour or free ruuning if u like, it involves flips and big leaps, but the only problem i hav is with my mind sayin i cant wen i havnt even tryed wat i wnted to do, or my mind saying no to sumthin i can do, what would ou advise, write back.
Hi, I’ve only just read this blog and found it very enlightening. I have a big problem with self discipline. I want to get my fitness back on track and lose weight. I will begin a program for a week or two and then I go out on a night out and get hungover and have bad day eating the next day and I give up on the program saying whas the point.
Hey Steve, i am a failing university student. I have an interest in what i am studying but im realizing i dont have the self discipline to read lecture notes, textbooks.. even do assignments (until the last minute). I have in the past dropped out of courses because i eventually give up.
I also want to do jogging (& gym) but find myself saying “Tommorow.. then the same the next day!”.
I need help as reading your article made me think through the past and realize the weak influences i had then. Would you have any approaches to change my patterns.
thanks
hey hi,
i am a student of final year architecture.days along i have realized that though i have been working hard i am never happy with the output.How much ever one works its always less.in the course i have messed up with my family friends and now myself. i get tensed and cant concentrate or enjoy my work .reading your article i thought u could help me to decode the problem and find a solution. looking forwar for help
My issues are with getting things done. Having the discipline to set time aside for small term goals. Great article
I like your article.
Though most people are aware of the importance of self discipline, few do anything to improve it. One of the ways to improve it is to exercises self discipline in the small things we do in our daily life. There is no need to do unusual things
If we start with small things, like cleaning the dishes now, instead of later, going for a walk now and not postponing it to some other time, or getting out of bed immediately, we strengthen both our willpower and self discipline. These little and sometimes not so much significant actions train us and enable us to use our willpower and self discipline in more complicated or difficult situations.
I have been struggling with drug and alcohol problems since I was about 15 years old. I have had a horrible anxiety disorder since I can remember. I use this as an excuse to be lazy and to not take care of myself or better myself. I was never taught self discipline as a child. I was always very strong willed and manipulative and it was hard for my parents to deal with me. I know that I need to just give myself a strong kick in the ass but sometimes it feels impossible! Especially with my anxiety disorder. I also have Borderline Personality Disorder and my dialectics are all wrong. I want something as much as I don’t want it! I struggle so much with staying organized and having a routine. I have NEVER stuck to a routine! Maybe it make me feel confined, claustrophobic. Is there any type of regiment that I can start to maybe take baby steps towards self discipline? Help!