Over the past few weeks, I have spoken to many friends and acquaintances who have been having bouts of classic sadness. I won’t call it depression, although I am sure some of them might be inclined to use that label. I’ve always been wary in using that word with my clients since it can easily be misunderstood. Most of the time what they’re suffering from is sub-clinical depression, commonly known as extreme sadness.
To be diagnosed with clinical depression, a person must experience a specific number of symptoms every day for at least a two-week period. Some of these symptoms may be: loss of usual interest or pleasure in activities; reduced appetite and weight loss ( other than from healthy dieting ); increased appetite and weight gain; changes in sleeping pattern; feelings of inappropriate guilt, hopelessness, worthlessness, or pessimism; inability to concentrate, remember things, or make decisions; constant fatigue or loss of energy; restlessness or decreased activity noticed by others; thoughts of death or suicide or attempts at suicide; and persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain.
Most people do not fit into this pattern, and are in fact suffering only from a serious case of the blues. It may last anywhere from days to weeks. I don’t want to minimize how difficult this is. Once people get into a funk, they often cannot notice anything positive going on around them. They are experiencing the world through defective filters. The Law of Attraction states that you will get more of whatever you put your energy, focus, and attention on. So people in this state will be drawn into a negative vortex that is difficult to escape from without some form of intervention or interruption of pattern.
Whether alone, or with the assistance of a friend, any combination of the following approaches will contribute to breaking that pattern. They work.
1. Notice disguised opportunities.
Lee Iacocca once said, “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities – brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.” When I trained in customer service skills, I used to tell front line staff that customer complaints were not to be feared, but rather to be welcomed with open arms. They were being handed a wonderful gift. Here was their opportunity to shine. Here was their opportunity to show the customer just how much we did care for their needs. Most customers are neutral, but a disgruntled one, once turned around, is usually an activist for the company.
2. Get ye to the countryside!
A research study measured subjects’ cognitive deficits and psychological states after walking in a city environment compared to a group who walked in an arboretum. Those who had walked in the city scored considerably less on a test of working memory and attention, and were also in a worse mood than the other group.
3. Accentuate the positive.
I love Jim Carey movies. I recently watched, “Yes Man.” Here was a man living an uneventful life until he began responding positively to every request. Of course this got him into some unexpected and very funny situations; however there is a great lesson here. For every event, look for and embrace its positive features.
4. Stay connected.
Maintain and foster your network of friends and family, even if it is a bit of a chore. Isolating yourself just deepens the hole you’re in.
5. Stay active.
This is probably one of the simplest methods available. Walk, dance, swim, or do some gardening. Trick your brain into thinking that everything is just fine.
6. Nurture your body.
Eat well, drink well. At some time or other we all turn to comfort food – self-medicating to make us feel better with too much of things like pasta, pop, alcohol - but, though it feels fine in the short term, it’s destructive over time. Keep in mind that dehydration is a prime cause of fuzzy thinking and convoluted decision making. For good hydration, choose water over pop and alcohol, and, for abrupt and dynamic change, switch much of your diet to fresh fruit and vegetables, their fiber helping regulate your system’s pace of absorption.
7. Get some sunlight.
During the short days of winter, either get outside for twenty minutes a day, or buy a full-spectrum light bulb. Exposure to this light on a daily basis will encourage your body to promote the generation of the mood-raising vitamin D.
8. Nurture your mind.
Lots of research has shown that what we read, listen to, or watch will affect our consciousness. Our conscious thoughts influence our emotions, behaviors, and even our health. None of us can afford the luxury of a negative thought. Saturate your mind with positive thoughts. Avoid the news and listen to relaxing music. Spend as much time out of doors as you can. Develop a habit of laughing and smiling often. If you want to take it to another level, consider taking a personal development course or hiring a life coach.
9. Live in the present.
Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future generates and sustains anxiety. Focusing on the present creates a sense of grounding and wellbeing.
10. Be grateful.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, or grieving over what you once had, be grateful for what you do have, whether it’s health, family, skills, abilities, friends, or a place to live. Many people keep a daily gratitude journal. This keeps their good fortune at top of mind.
The last thing I want you to be aware of is that life is full of cycles. Sometimes we may find ourselves in a natural low, and it takes only a few negative events to make our life appear very gloomy indeed. Be assertive. Give some of these approaches a trial run. I am sure you will notice a difference within days.
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Great advice I believe, in particular the section on connecting with family and friends.
Re: Stay Connected,
This is really great if you are usually a positive or enthusiastic person, since the people you are that way towards can ‘pull you up’ when you’re feeling down/depressed.
These remedies are great to pick yourself up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and start smiling at how good your life can really be.
I like the labeling of the problem as classic sadness. I decidedly do not have depression but I do have occasional times of being down. It’s just a case of the blues. I like that.
Definitely some good tips. Along with the “stay active” tip, getting some good consistent exercise in can be extremely helpful. I just finished a sixty day quest to do 1 hour of cardiovascular exercise each day. I made it about 55 out of the 60 days, and my productivity was pretty darn awesome during that time.
The next couple of weeks, when I backed off of it, not so great.
I definitely recommend consistent activity, try to work it into your routine.
Sincerely,
Bryan
Hi Bryan, I think you have made a great point about keeping active. When we are active our seretonin levels are much higher which can help with sadness whereas seretonin levels plummit when we are sitting about being inactive
Its important to differentiate between clinical depression (MDD, Dysphoria, Adjustment Disorders, etc.) and a depressed mood or generalized melancholy. From what you are describing it sounds like you, as we all do, occasionally have depressed or melancholy moods. For me, these are most often characterized by “do-nothingness,” and I’ve found the best way to overcome them is to get active.
Action generates motivation.
Exercise is a great long term mood stabilizer, but in the context of the “now” doing just about anything can help get me out of a funk.
.-= Chris Akins´s last blog ..3 ways to ground yourself =-.
I’m guessing the sadness you’re hearing about is primarily due to the economy and this savage unwind of credit and home/stock equity… So maybe #11 should be to block CNBC on your TV LOL.
#4 Stay connected – is so true. Whenever I feel down I just reach out to a friend, chat a bit or go out with them, and I’m fine
Bryan, Really these are great tips. Thanks for sharing these valuable tips.
Hi,
I agree with your article which has lots of useful advices.
You know, in my opinion one of the main causes for stress – lets not foerget that there’s the “healthy” stress – is that people are too focus on materialism while forgeting that the best things in life are the simple ones, such has being in the company of friends, having a nice meal with family (not in front of TV), going for a walk and having a hobby. Just to mention a few.
Take care,
José
All the tips you gave are wonderful and easy to implement. I think some combination of them will raise spirits. They are good ‘top ups’ for those people who already have reasonably secure relationships.
However, there is a sadness that comes from insecure attachments that is less amenable to being pushed aside. Doing things for oneself don’t quite hit the spot of feeling seen, heard, attended to, valued and loved.
You have to have that from an attachment figure first, before you can give it to yourself. If you don’t have a template for receiving it, you can’t recognize it or let it in. For these people anger, resentment and frustration use up all the emotional space they have available, and no amount of exercise, good books or active minds staying in the present is going to take away that basic human need.
It’s easy to tell people not to worry, but not so easy to ease that need for security and safety that is lacking in your relationships.
Couples can find out how to avoid ten relationship mistakes at http://wwwcouplesspeakdecodded.blogspot.com/
For those who get sad at the way they react to hot button issues, you can find help at http://howtodealwhenyourbuttonsgetpushed.blogspot.com/
Tuning into your dreams can bring you immense comfort, wisdom and peace if you attend to their messages. They are powerful tools for those who feel sad. Find out more at http://www.thepowerofourdreams.blogspot.com
Dr. Jeanette Raymond
Dr. Raymond,
Great insights… and very Buddhist of you as well. Depressive disorders have many potential causes, and depression in general is a symptom of a variety of mental health conditions. But I agree that attachment to “something” is typically at the root of depressed moods.
When we talk about pathological disorders we have to find and resolve the core issues before we can move on to many of the steps Brian outlines. But he was talking about subclinical depression after all.
I’ll check out the links you provide. They sound interesting.
Chris
.-= Chris Akins´s last blog ..3 ways to ground yourself =-.
Here is the correct link for the couples who don’t want to be sad.
Avoid mistakes in your relationship
http://wwwcouplesspeakdecoded.blogspot.com
Dr. Jeanette
Eat well and drink well! this one is one of the most important to me, if you take care of your body, your body is going to feel good, and if you feel good inside you feel and look good! So try to keep active and eat well…
I am so pleased at all the comments that were generated as a result of my article. I would like to invite you to take a look at my YouTube videos as well. My channel is simply WalshSeminars
Cheers,
Brian Walsh
Love the world and the nature.
Sadness is just another spice in life.
Last year, I usually turned to blue, but now better
Yes, blue mood usually annoies me.
Great Advice! Some of them made my feeling better.Thanks for the article you have. I will follow all of this and share it with my friends.
You have written very well.
To be honest, i like to be sad sometimes. I think it’s romantic feelings.
I think the best advice from this article is being contented and grateful with what we have. It pays to be more appreciative of the things we have and not to envy people of what we do not have.
Wonderful and wise advice. Thanks for sharing with your readers.
I completely agree that you need to get out to the countryside. It is important to get outside and backpack or walk. Clearing your mind can really help. Wise advice!
A great information, i love all the tips to fight thee sadness, especially the one which says Live the Present. This is very important for every one of us. Because majority of people are sad because they overstress themselves in thinking about their past.
thanks for advising these tip.
Good tip
I like how you mention the country side. It is very relaxing and in a way exciting to explore the countryside. It instantly clears away the blues that may be lingering.
The sunlight (not necessarily sunshine) promotes the production of Vitamin D. This is the one that generates a good mood. It works even if there are clouds. Only 20 minutes of sunlight a day can raise your mood.
I write about this on page 108 of Unleashing Your Brilliance. If anyone reading this would like a copy of the e-book, just email me.
Cheers
Brian
No doubt i praise all these great tips,kkep it up..
i read this article, and it made me feel so much more better. i was feeling so low. i going to speak to someone 2nite about my problems
Very interesting article. Thanks for sharing it.
have a nice day.
r4ds r4i’s great blog post..A Mixed ON Product with Attributes
Brian,
This is a very useful and relevant post. Your recommendations are excellent. I would add to #9 – Live in the Present by saying I have always associated dwelling on the past with depression, and dwelling on the future with anxiety. Being mindful of the present avoids both, and once we shed our fixation on past trauma and future anxiety we often become more able to solve problems or resolve unhealthy states by being able to actually focus on them.
I also think #2 is extremely valuable, but often overlooked by us city dwellers. I personally believe that many instances of depressive disorders are consequences of our growing disconnection with our natural environment. It is amazing what some time in nature can do for one’s perspective and general mental well-being. We are not just residents and masters of this planet, we are literally part of the ecosystem. As a society we sometimes tend to view ourselves as somehow outside of the system, and with dire results to ourselves and the very system we rely on for life.
There is so much I like about this post I won’t take up pages of space to comment. Suffice it to say I really enjoyed reading it!
Chris
.-= Chris Akins´s last blog ..3 ways to ground yourself =-.
Hi Chris
I agree on both counts. Allow me to comment on past and future thinking.
I could have expanded on how some people love to mentally reside in the past because that might be more interesting than their present lives. They can be selective about which memories are comforting. Of course, in small doses that’s fine. If this becomes a habit of escapism, that could be detrimental in the long term. Avoiding the present is counter-productive. The most beneficial use of memories is to reframe them as lessons. That’s how we grow.
There is nothing wrong in considering the future, as long as it is for the purpose of setting goals and contingency plans. If we set our intentions and follow the principals of the Law of Attraction, then we are on the right track. Worrying about outcomes is a consummate misuse of energy. Not only that, it has the potential to lead us into a vortex of anxiety and depression.
Cheers,
Brian
These tips are great.. im feeling a bit down at the moment and its unlike me.. iv been depressed before and now im determined not to slip back into it.. im already feeling more positive and these tips actually made me feel like trying a bit harder to smile
thanks
Hi Laura,
I am so pleased that my tips have been of some help. It is so easy to fall into a funk. It is even easier to stay there if there is no support. Sometimes, all you need is to get a bit of a jolt to extricate yourself from it.
Stay well,
Brian
um… when i try do these things, i feel as if i am tricking myself in to thinking i am happy when in reality i need to man up and face my thought of saddness. is this wat ur suppose to feel?
i feel as if i am tricking myself in to thinking i am happy when in reality i need to man up and face my thought of