About Steven AitchisonI have been sent a lot of questions recently about how to control thoughts and beliefs in our life that are not good for us. This is something I deal with quite a lot as an addiction worker and we use a great tool to help people with irrational thoughts and beliefs.
The tool is called REBT which stands for Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. In this video I wanted to go over the basics of REBT and show you how you can control, with practice, your irrational thinking and the resultant beliefs about yourself.
I truly believe if we can control our thoughts we can control the way we act and feel about life and REBT is a great tool for this.
Video on REBT and Controlling Your Irrational Thoughts and Beliefs
Here are a few links to find out more about REBT
A more comprehensive look at REBT
As ever I welcome feedback on this topic and the videos themselves as I am always looking to improve them.
Subscribe to CYT and
receive a FREE copy of
Volumes 1 & 2 of
The Best of CYT
Steven, the timing of this video is so fortuitous because of something that came up here in Japan – I am going to pass it on. A quick comment on the video’s look – I like the way you are standing and presenting, and the colors are pleasant.
Some questions, Steven. How much of a time lag is there between the activating event and the consequences? Because of habitual patterns, response is usually swift and typical. How does a person naturally get to the point of disputing when everything in that person is driving him/her in a habitual response, even when it is destructive?
When you talk about making D and E habits, how is this accomplished? Alone, or with another person’s help? Is there someone there to say, stop, stop, dispute the ABC’s, or is this an ability you need to develop in yourself? If so, it may be very difficult to do, simply because of the habitual patterns already ingrained. Some key words for me were, “I didn’t think about it at the time.” I think that’s exactly how the situation typically plays out – we are not thinking at all at the time, or are thinking irrationally. In the overwhelming drive of that moment, how do you pull yourself back into a “rational” state that shifts you into “dispute” thinking? Some other tools seem necessary, because the very definition of irrational is the opposite of the rational which would allow you to step back and reassess right at that moment. In the irrational heat of the first reaction, rational assessing skills are sorely lacking.
Really good video, Steven, on a very important topic – I look forward to learning more. Thank you very much again from Japan – Catrien Ross.
.-= Catrien Ross´s last blog ..Catrien Ross on Stretching Your Potential Through the Real Power of Intention to Direct Your Energy Flow =-.
Thanks Catrien, I appreciate your comments on the video, it still needs a little tweaking but I am confident I am 90% there with the videos.
D and E is done by yourself or you can do it in group work, which is what a lot of our clients do in the addiction work. However, it is meant for group work and working alone. It can be difficult but as soon as your start doing REBT it becomes second nature and you start doing it with everything in your life and pretty soon it will be a new thinking pattern so it becomes automatic and you’ll know it’s really engrained when you automatically stop yourself from reacting at all.
To start doing this type of thinking it will start slow at first and gradually build up so you shouldn’t require any other tools to use it – keep it simple.
What if the case against you is a rational case? How do you move forward with that?
.-= Justin Dixon´s last blog ..How to Find Your Hidden Strengths =-.
Hi Justin. You’ve raised a great point here. If the case agianst you is rational then you use REBT to change your behaviour. This works two ways, you become aware of yourself more and look at your thinking as a whole and not just the irrational thoughts. In the case of the example I gave, the irrational thoughts are still present so it’s still important to work on them.
I’m a firm believer that thoughts control our emotions and behaviors.
LOVED the A B C D E
Activating (Something that happens – i.e. your boss shouting at you)
Belief (what does the activating event mean?)
Consequences (feelings and emotions due to the activating event)
Disputing (The understanding of an event – dispute it by tapping into empowering truths and beliefs)
Effects (The result of disputing and empowering yourself. This results in a positive response to situations which seem negative at first)
I’m going to use this with my website statistics as my first application of it. Too often I’ll let a high bounce rate or low visitor day prick me and think that I’m not doing what I should be – or that it won’t work. But I’m going to dispute that with knowing that I am doing a great work. Thanks for this video – I REALLY appreciate it.
.-= Jeremy Johnson´s last blog ..Video – Garden Of Life Series Part 1 =-.
Hi Jeremy. I think that’s a great way to use this tool. So often website owners and blog writers look for validation in their statistics, which is totally irrational as it’s not the numbers that matter but the people who visit.
Hey Steve.
I was pleasantly surprised to see this article, as I’m under the impression REBT does not get nearly enough attention as a personal development tool, comparing with how effective it is.
I’ll star by saying it is my (by far) favorite tool in this area, I use it for myself and my clients. In a field which is bombarded with a lot of mambo-jumbo, I find REBT to be one of the few tools which is backed-up by solid scientific research and can provide real, consistent, measurable results.
Thanks for spreading this wisdom,
Eduard
.-= Eduard @ People Skills Decoded´s last blog ..Discovering what you have to offer =-.
Hi Eduard, I think REBT is a great tool and it’s so simple it often gets overlooked. Thanks for your comments on this.
Great video! Thanks! I wasn’t familiar with this tool but I love it! It reminds me a lot of “The Work” (Byron Kaite) and the Self Coaching technique developed by Brooke Castillo.
In my experience, any thought/belief that keeps us from joy is irrational at its core, even the ones that really seem reasonable. I know that sounds a bit extreme, and maybe someone can think of a counter-example to this, but so far I haven’t been able to find one!
.-= Joy Tanksley´s last blog ..Poll — How Will You Create Joy This Weekend? =-.
Hi Joy, interesting point about irrational thoughts leading us away from joy. I wouldn’t agree with you about all thoughts that lead us from joy is irrational, but it’s intersting nonetheless. thanks for you comments here.
Do you have an example of a thought that leads one away from joy (and I define joy as something deeper than happiness) that you would consider rational? This is an issue I’m fascinated by and am trying to sort through in my own brain, so I would love to hear some counter-examples! I’m not certain I’m right, but I haven’t been able to prove myself wrong yet.
.-= Joy Tanksley´s last blog ..Poll — How Will You Create Joy This Weekend? =-.
Hi Joy, a few different types of thoughts come to mind:
Contemplative thoughts (rational yet not leading to or away from joy)
Traumatic thoughts of the past (rational and sometimes necessary)
This was a good exercise however it really comes down to semantics and how you define ‘irrational’ and ‘joy’, so we could debate this until the cows come home
Thanks for answering! I totally agree that at the end of the day you have to agree on the definition of both JOY and RATIONAL. I really appreciate you thinking this through with me.
.-= Joy Tanksley´s last blog ..Poll — How Will You Create Joy This Weekend? =-.
Hi Steven, I never heard of REBT, so thank you for sharing this with us. I want to watch the video again to really understand it.
Everything brillant is always simple.
BTW, I love the lighting you have and the way you added text to explain what you were talking about. Looks very professional. Great job, Steven!
Hi Lana, I like your remark about everything brilliant being simple, nice way to sum it up.
Thanks for the comments on the videos, always appreciate it.
Hi Steve,
Thanks for the video. I also had never heard about REBT.
The part I like best is D – Dispute. It’s incredible the assumptions we as human beings make about what other people are thinking. In your example, there could have been any number of reasons why the boss yelled at the employee that would have had absolutely nothing to do with him or her.
And yet, we are most likely to look at something like this through a negative lens. This is not rational. But we all do it.
I like how you put the writing on the screen in the video. Nice touch!
.-= Greg Blencoe´s last blog ..Positive thinking does not work, but positive feeling does =-.
Hi Greg, it’s great to know that there are some things that a lot of people are learning something new about some tools for the mind.
I think we are all guilty of making assumptions about other people and it’s important to catch that whenever we think it.
Thanks for the comments on the video.
Thanks for the video and the documents. The Introduction to Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy was particularly eye-opening for me.
.-= Julius´s last blog ..Learning About Web Accessibility Through Everyday Tasks =-.
Hi Julius, glad you liked this and so glad you enjoyed the links as well.
Hi Steven, I don’t know anything about REBT (except what you described here), but if I remember correctly it was created by Albert Ellis? I love the ABCDE approach and I actually can tell you what they stand for -:). I noticed in your comment to Eduard you said it was so simple it was often overlooked. That makes it a huge selling point for me. I’m really into simple nowadays. We seem to overcomplicated everything.
.-= Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Tips for Boosting Creativity and Problem Solving =-.
Hi Stephen, we do tend to overcomplicate things and I’m into simple as well and have tried simplifying a lot of things in my life including looking at how the mind works and breaking it down to explain it a little better. Thanks for stopping by.
Hey Steve,
I really like this process. This is one of the more systematic procedures I’ve found for dealing with irrational thoughts and beliefs. We can choose to reinforce a thought but often times, sheer will power just doesn’t do it. I’m going to have to look into this some more.
Thanks for sharing!
Ben
.-= Ben Weston´s last blog ..The Definitive Guide to Attracting Relationships with the Law of Attraction =-.
Hi Ben, I think you will enjoy this this once you get into it, it’s really is a useful tool.
Steve: I found this technique very interesting and will definitely try to put it to use. I 100% agree that our thoughts impact everything we do and if we can figure out a way that works for us to control them in a positive way, then everything else will fall into place. I know I used to believe that just having these types of irrational or negative thoughts meant that I wasn’t doing what I needed to do in order to not have these tpes of thoughts at all. I think now I have realized that the issue is not that these types of thoughts surface, but rather that we sometimes allow them to expand without taking control and putting good tools to use like REBT. Thanks for the great explanation on REBT.
.-= alternaview – Sibyl´s last blog ..How to Create Great Opportunities for Yourself =-.
Hi Sibyl, I am so glad you found this interesting, I think you will find the links really useful.
I also think that it’s how we allow our thoughts to dictate our actions sometimes that is the problem. Thanks for your comments Sibyl, always welcomed and appreciated.
Cool video Steven! Soothing yet alive colors. You seem very poised and comfortable!
I have done some work in the addictions field and I think this is a very useful tool as there are so many irrational thoughts that often arise.
It seems we could all take something from this and apply it to our lives!
Thanks!
Lauren
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Controlling Others: Not A Strategy That Makes For The Best Relationships Ever =-.
Hi Lauren, thanks for your thoughts on the video, I am getting used to being in front of the camera so I feel more comfortable.
I think everyone can use this tool to good effect. thanks for stopping by.
Hi Steve, I had never heard of REBT before either. I can see that this can be a very powerful tool to anyone and everyone. Such a pragmatic tool that can stop those howling voices of negative self talk is a great gift. Like you said in response to Catrien, I can see if we start doing this with small things it will eventually become second nature and thus be able to apply to bigger challenges. I’m going to apply it to my blogging endeavors as well!
.-= rob white´s last blog ..Self-Dependence Day =-.
Hi Steve, I tried REBT and it didn’t really work for me. I wonder if you have comes across ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), another variant of cognitive behaviour therapy. This therapy also has a good scientific backing. What is interesting to me is what they say is in opposition to the theory behind REBT. ACT says that thoughts, especially the bad irrational ones, cannot be controlled but must be lived with and that trying to suppress or control thoughts is counterproductive. I am interested to know if you know of a way to resolve the apparent contradictions.
Nice video.
Never heard of REBT before, very interesting to look at. I’d like to think I can control my emotions effectively – but, some are extremely hard to handle. I’ll read more into it and see how it works.
.-= Craig Thomas´s last blog ..How To Effectively Change Someone’s Mind =-.