About Steven Aitchison
Update: Please click on this link for more information about The new Mind Alchemy course. All the links to the downloads have now been removed. I would like to thank all 800+ readers who expressed an interest in this course and for everyone who completed the course the first time round, it is becasue of you I could make the course better.
Before we start
You can still join the course by Clicking here
A few readers are now blogging about their experiences on the course, and it would be great to lend your support:
Stacy Claflin – Grow With Stacy
Marty BoneIdol – Living Life in Chapters
Stephen – New Life Starts Here
Read the interview I have done with Angela Artemis from Powered by Intuition
Read the interview I have done with Sandi Faviell from DevaCoaching
Watch an interview I made with Suzie Cheel on Mind Alchemy
Mind Alchemy Day 12
Welcome to day 12, can’t believe we’re on day 12 already 
Today we are going to release the energy blocks in our mind. In Qigong, the Chinese believe “When Qi flows freely along the meridians, people are free from illness; If the Qi is blocked, the pain follows.” This is also true of the mind when we want something so badly in our lives that it blocks the energy from flowing.
Blockages in the mind
I believe that that we have blockages in our mind which can prevent us from moving on with our life, and essentially keep us stuck.
The blockages happen because we are trying too hard, trying to control too much or obsessing too much.
As an example of this I’d like to share a story from my past.
For years I had been dreaming about my perfect partner. I visualised a woman with long dark hair, she was petite, intelligent and able to stand up for herself. I pictured us having two children and I pictured the house we lived in, I gave it the works. I had this in my head for about 6 years. Every time I went out for a night out I would look for her.
I dated in-between but never really found anybody whom I could say ‘she’s the one’. I eventually grew tired of looking and on the 19th July 2002 I was walking along Argyle street in Glasgow on my way to work, and I said to myself ‘that’s it, I love being a bachelor and that is the way I will stay for the rest of my life’ and at that I gave up the fight to find my perfect woman. During the day I was saddened as I hadn’t found ‘the one’.
Earlier on in the week I had been asked to go to a 40th birthday party from some colleagues at work and I had said maybe but on that day I didn’t feel like it, I was feeling a bit down. I was cajoled into going to the party from a few friends at work.
I was chatting with a few friends on the night out and we were having a laugh and at 7.30pm a woman walked in wearing a red t shirt and a pair of brown cord trousers, I looked up and said ‘who the hell is that!’ I later found out it was a colleague’s sister. She was not interested in me at all at the beginning but then a song came on that I loved, I held out my hand and asked if she wanted to dance and it was electric.
Her name is Sharon, she had two boys from a previous marriage whom I adore, we have a fantastic house, we have a love that I have never known and I seem to grow happier every day.
I was holding onto the outcome too tightly, in my mind, that I didn’t take the time to appreciate life around me. As soon as I let go of the outcome it happened, quite literally.
The Butterfly point
In his book ‘You can have what you want’ Michael Neill talks about the ‘Butterfly Point’, which is
Imagine what you want is like a beautiful butterfly in your hands. If you squeeze too tightly the butterfly will be crushed, if you hold your hands too loosely, the butterfly will simply fly away. The secret is to hold it gently.
We can also start living life on our own terms if we can learn to let go of ourselves and stop holding our outcomes too tightly in our minds. We have done a lot of work on our outcomes over the last few weeks now it’s time to reach the ‘Butterfly Point’ with them.
The trick here is to focus on our outcomes but let go of them at the same time and that is what todays exercise is designed to do.
Today’s exercise
Today, we are going to look at letting go and releasing some of the blockages in our mind, to help us have a healthier attitude towards our outcomes.
Download today’s exercise sheet
Alternatively, just open up a word document and use this for doing today’s exercise.
In this exercise we are going to look at all the amazing things that would happen if we reached our outcome. Then we will look at the flip side and look at the bad things which might happen. It may sound a little counter intuitive to do this, but it keeps us from obsessing too much and teaches us to let go of the outcome a little: ‘If you squeeze too tightly the butterfly will be crushed.’
Always take steps toward your outcome but let go of the outcome itself, just let it happen in a more gentle, easier way. You are detaching from your outcome without losing the desire for it. This can be a hard concept to grasp. the best example I can give here is in relationships.
We may have experienced a relationship in which either you or your partner was holding on to tight. You may have done everything for the person, idolised them, wanted to be with them at all times, got jealous when the person spoke to someone else, had arguments about why they wanted to go out with their friends etc I think you know what I mean. This is a type of control, and whilst it can be flattering for a week or two it becomes tedious and you soon start to view your partner as being needy or you become needy, and that means the relationship is bound to fail, unless something is done about it. Letting go in relationships is all about trust and confidence, trusting yourself and trusting your partner, and having the confidence in yourself to be who you are. If they do something to displace that trust then it’s time to let them go, but whilst you are in the relationship you’ve got to have, and got to give, room to breath.
Tomorrow
Tomorrow we will looking at organizing your life to organize your mind. Until tomorrow my fellow Mind Alchemists……..
Action follows a thought…
This course is about taking action, and to become pro active in changing your life. Take time to do this exercise and really think about it throughout the day. You don’t need to wait until tomorrow to take steps to improve your ‘Wheel of Life’, but with the support and encouragement from all the members we can help each other and support each other, but ultimately ‘you have to bring something to the table!’
Your thoughts
As always it’s good to talk about your experiences and share it with the rest of the members of the course, so let us know how this exercise went for you and if you gained any insights or had any revelations about yourself or your life.
You can share your thoughts at Mind Alchemy Facebook Group
You can Tweet using the hashtag #MindAlchemy
Or of course you can leave a comment below
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Just what i needed:)
Cant Believe it! but ITS TRUE!
Have a great Day!
Thank YOU!
Dilana
Hi Dilana, glad this helped in some way. Let us know more why it helped you or why you needed it , always interesting to know more
For me, todays article is the reason I am doing this course and came across your blog.
One of my goals in life is to develop ‘true/real’ confidence. With that you are the best and most balanced you in the present moment.
The sophistication of a human has layers of many onions, hence we forget the precious seconds in our short lives as being the only seconds in our live.
But still its a confusing topic to put my head around at times. The butterfly image I will try remember.
Hi Gerhard, so glad you’re taking this course and it’s giving you something to think about. It is difficult sometimes, but we can get our heads around it if we are willing to stick with it.
I’m glad you wrote a post about letting go of outcomes. I find that I like to be clear about what I want but I don’t attach myself to the outcome. Last week I entered a speech contest. I spent 20 to 30 hours working on a 7 minute speech. I did everything I could to get it right. I put in the effort, I had a good attitude going in. I placed third ……………………in a field of three. I wasn’t attached to the outcome…………..I grew through the experience. The important thing I find is to enjoy the moment ………find Something you want to accomplish and work away at it but stay open……flexiable……you don’t have to win to grow.
Hi wayne, that’s exactly it. Taking the Buddhist approach and not attaching to the outcome at all, but still have a healthy focus on it. I like ‘you don’t have to win to grow’
Hi Steven, this is a really, really important lesson. It’s awesome actually and I found my blog update just flowed. cheers mate, Stephen
Stephen Gemmell recently posted..Mind Alchemy Day 12 – Letting go of Your Outcomes
Glad this one helped Stephen. I’m enjoying your blog posts as well.
I love the reference to “Butterfly” I like to call this nurturing your goals and outcomes. It may be that in the early stages they need a fair amount of attention, but as they begin to grow we can have confidence that we are doing what is necessary. I’ve had experience of crushing a goal in the past. I went at it so hard that I ran out of physical and emotional energy. It was a VERY painful experience and took a long time to recover.
I’ve done the exercise this morning. I’m allowing my outcomes to have a little freedom and gradually take on a little independence.
Your testimony about seeking your partner is a great example. I seem to remember reading this before. Must be from one of your old blogs.
Marty recently posted..Inspirational songs
Hi Marty, I couldn’t find a better example than the butterfly one and Michael Neill summed it up beautifully. His books are worth buying.
@ Wayne
“you don’t have to win to grow.” Wise words indeed. I really like this.
Marty recently posted..Inspirational songs
Hi Steven,
I think this is such a great exercise and new perspective on outcomes. I often set outcomes and try with all my might to get it finished right away, but soon lose motivation or desire or sheer will. I never thought that I may have been over-doing it. The Butterfly visualization is awesome! It really makes me value my outcomes more as well as trying to let go of that control. I did that relationships as well (and now since I’m single, I can really see why it didn’t work). But I’m glad I caught up with each Mind Alchemy day and was able to read this and remember it. I can see things differently, and change it now.
Thanks Steven!
Hi Angel, glad you liked this one. I think sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to reach an outcome that it can, as you say, demotivate us and it becomes a chore rather than a pleasure. we see it so much in relationships and now that you know you can learn to enjoy your outcomes and your relationships.
Steve,
You never cease to amaze me! Never!
Your knowledge is astounding. I love the analogy you shared about crushing the butterfly. Excellent. I shall remember that.
Thank you for all you do and living on so little sleep to bring us all this amazing content!
Angela Artemis/Powered by Intuition recently posted..In Praise of The Blogging Black-Out
Hi Angela, i really do take that as high praise. Thank you so much for your support, it’s great having you here.
I have done this exercise and I was really glad I did because there is such freedom involved by doing this and I really like what Marty said about how we can grow the confidence but also how easy it can be to ran out of our energy.
If I get this right the magic here is to know your outcomes but not get worried about them which helps you to keep focus and we should not try to control the outcomes, instead just let it flow and move your negative thoughts from your self chatter to a positive outcome, however the black hole is we want things now and frustration kicks in and we totally lose our focus. So the key here is to hold our outcomes gently and remember that Rome was not build in one day.
@ Engilbert
Thanks for the acknowledgement. It’s quite task this one I have to say. A great episode in this course.
Marty recently posted..Inspirational songs
Hi Engilbert, you’re right, the magic is not attaching too much to the outcome, this way we can enjoy working toward the outcome rather than dreading it and seeing it as something we have to get done. You totally got it
There’s a quote by Kahlil Gibran which explains this thought beautifully…
But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Saikat thanks for sharing this with us, beautiful quote by Kahlil Gibran
Hi Saikat, love the quote you gave us here, thank you for sharing this.
Hey Steven,
Your post really resonates with me. After hanging onto certain ideas like a vice for about two years I recently decided to let go and let the world play out rather than stop my growth waiting to find a needle in a haystack. I think if you want something bad enough you’ll eventually find it, but you can’t obsess about the details along the way while life passes you by.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Ryan recently posted..Washington Heights Neighborhood