As an introvert, you could be the smartest person in the room, but that usually won’t be recognized if you can’t show it off. It’s sad but true: western society gives more credit to those who shout, and less to those who reflect.
So, how do we adapt? Should we turn ourselves into life-of-the-party extroverts, and go against our gut? If you’ve tried doing that, you know how exhausting it is. It just doesn’t feel like “you”.
Learn To Make Fun Of Extroverts (in a way)
I’m not gonna be fair here and will make wild generalizations, but let’s not take ourselves too seriously, okay?
You need to realize that even if extroverts seem to have perfect social lives, there are are downsides that go with it.
For example, studies show that extroverts tend to crave short-term gain, even if waiting a little bit more would be better for them. The ability to delay gratification is crucial to success. Many extroverts haven’t developed that ability.
Extroverts also have a tendency to miss important feedback. When pursuing a goal (like investing in the stock market), extroverts tend to ignore the signs that say “You’re Losing Here! Try Something Else!”. Not only do they keep going, they also speed up!
Finally, as Susan Cain put it in her wonderful book, Quiet, extroverts simply know less than introverts. One study tested more than a hundred college students’ knowledge of twenty different subjects, from art to astronomy to statistics, and found that the extroverts just knew less than the introverts about every single subject.
(By the way : To my extroverted friends reading this: I’m sorry, but it’s true. I still love you, though! )
Now that we know what to tease extroverts about, let’s talk about the advantages of being the quieter person.
Know Your Strengths As An Introvert
Serious research (from Kellog School of Management) shows that introverts take about 28% less financial risks. In fact, they take better risks! They take less risks when the chance of winning is low, and more risks when it’s high. It’s in the hormones, they now when to hold back, and when to go for it.
Introverts tend to pay attention to important details. If they’re investing, for example, they spot dangerous pitfalls because they “p-a-u-s-e” to think. That pause gives them the power to see what others don’t.
Maybe you heard that “Persistence is everything. With it, anything is possible, without it, nothing is.” Well, introverts are known to be more persistent, according to studies. And they are that way, even when it comes to social tasks, like cold-calling and sales.
But, on the social skills side, as introverts, you can do better. We don’t have to keep that “shy” label.
Learn The Critical Social Skills That Happy Introverts Have
Being an introvert doesn’t mean you should give up on being socially successful.
When I started learning to socialize and make friends several years ago, I tried every social technique advised, and learned from some extremely skilled people: extroverts and introverts. I realized that making friends and being social is a skill, not a genetic feature.
As an introvert, you want to be able to speak up when you want to. You need to know how to feel comfortable in public, make conversations, and connect with those you want to know more.
Ultimately, you want to have the choice to socialize and make friends, whenever you feel like it.
In my newsletter, I want to share with you techniques and strategies that will help you get there.
No matter how introverted you are, or how much social success you had in the past, I want to share with you the techniques that will allow you to be social and have the friends you want. You can get on it, here: Free Social Skills Newsletter
See you there,