How to Reach An Outcome When You Don’t Believe Its Possible

How to achieve your outcomes and goals

When I first started blogging over 5 years I set outcomes for myself that I felt were impossible, but at the time, I believed in ‘dream big.’  Might as well go for it in a big way.  Some of the outcomes I set myself were:

Outcome: To reach 10,000 blog subscribers in the first year

Actual: 670 blog subscribers in the first year

Outcome: To earn at least $1,000 per month in the first year of the blog

Actual: nada, nothing, zilch, zero (actually I earned an affiliate commission of $26)

Outcome: To get readers interacting and have at least 50 comments per post

Actual: Average of 5 comments per post in the first year of blogging

Over the last six months or so I have been looking at how I set my outcomes and had a breakthrough in my thinking.

The reason I did not reach the outcomes I had set myself was that I did not, deep down, believe they were possible.  In psychology this is called ‘cognitive dissonance’: when your conscious mind says one thing, but the unconscious mind doesn’t believe it.

As you know it is the unconscious mind that is the driver for most of our actions, thoughts, and behaviours in life.  So, when your unconscious mind does not believe, but you really want to achieve something in life, what do we do?

Marrying the conscious with the unconscious

Going back to the outcomes I had set above, I looked over my outcomes for this year for the blog:

Outcome: To reach 40,000 blog subscribers in 2012

Actual: 31,000 subscribers (an average of 2,200 subscribers per month for the last 6 months)

Outcome: To earn at least $5,000 per month in 2012

Actual: In the past 6 months the lowest figure is $1,700 and the highest is $7,800, average of around $3,500 per month)

Outcome: To get readers interacting and have at least 50 comments per post

Actual: Average is around 50 comments per month just now (comments numbers have gone down across the board in the blogging world so this is good)

I have reached most of my outcomes so far, and in hindsight I should have stretched these outcomes a little more.  The reason is that I believe that I can reach the outcomes I have set for the blog.  This is happening across my business and personal life.

The reason I can now believe in the outcomes is that I can now see the process and instinctively know what actions to take in order to achieve these outcomes.  When you know the process you can take the right actions, when you take the right actions, your belief is a lot stronger, and therefore it is easier to achieve your outcomes.

I have coached many bloggers whose outcome was to achieve a certain target for their blogs e.g. to earn $1,000 per month from their blog, to gain 10,000 subscribers for their blog and so on.  However their belief is not there as they do not yet know the process, and therefore cannot see themselves as having achieved their outcome, which means their unconscious mind does not really believe it is possible.

To achieve these types of goals for a blog you need to know how to get traffic, you need to know how to write headlines, you need to know how to write good blog posts that are engaging, and so many more things.  When all of these things are in place and you can do them at the unconscious level the money and the outcomes will come much more quickly.

Aligning 100 plugs

We think of outcomes like a plug going into an electrical socket: If we have the two pins (or three pins, depending where you are in the world) lined up correctly and push it gently into the socket, the electricity will flow and there will be power, and we will reach our outcome.  However reaching an outcome is more like trying to line up 100 plugs and putting them into the correct sockets at the same time.  There are so many variables to reaching the outcome; there is no one thing that will get you there.

We really have to know how to align all the pins at the same time, but we cannot possibly know if we have not experienced aligning them before.

Forcing the issue

We are told that if we just keep trying, push on and take more action we will eventually reach the outcomes we desire.  This does not really work, as we are really floundering around trying to learn the process without really getting anywhere and we eventually give up saying ‘I gave it my best shot!’

What do we do to align?

Steve Pavlina talks about aligning with the vibe in order to achieve your outcome.  What he meant was get to know what it feels like to have already reached your outcome.  If your outcome is to be a successful author, you need to know what it feels like to be a successful author before you can ‘match up your vibe’ and really align your conscious beliefs with your unconscious beliefs.

Obviously we cannot experience success until we have got there, and the only way to get there is to experience it – bit of a chicken and egg scenario.

The way to do it is to borrow someone else’s beliefs and actions.

Borrowing beliefs and actions

I remember, last year, I coached someone whose outcome was to get 1,000 subscribers per month in her first few months of blogging.  She was getting around 4 subscribers per day, 120 per month.  I gave her one action to take which quadrupled her subscriber numbers overnight, and she was well on her way to reaching her outcome.  What she was doing was borrowing my beliefs, knowledge, and actions because I had been where she was, and I was where she wanted to be.

If you want to be writer, hang out with writers who have achieved what you want to achieve, be in their company, and take their courses.  Pretty soon you pick up on their unconscious thoughts, beliefs and actions and you can borrow them in order to get you closer to your outcome.  If you are around successful people their success rubs off on you.  That might sound a little out there, but I believe you will understand exactly what I mean.

Once you have borrowed some beliefs and actions, you can start to visualise more clearly, and believe more deeply the outcomes you wish to achieve.  When you do this, you start to take the right actions and things seem to fall into place naturally.

Moving on

When you begin to reach your outcomes there will be others in your life that are not aligned to what you are achieving and try, unconsciously or consciously, to bring you down in some way.  This plays out in many ways, such as envy, neediness, negativity, and a number of other ways.  You have a hard decision to make: Whether or not to keep these people in your life.

People don’t like change.  I like the quote from Wyatt Woodsmall: “People don’t like it when you change because the ways they use to manipulate you stop working.”

When I’ve mentioned this in the past a lot of people have a hard time with it.  Dumping people in your life just because they are not aligned to your growth sounds harsh.  The truth is we are doing it all the time.  Think of when you left school, left a job, or became a manager to go on and do bigger and better things.  You are perceived differently so there’s no choice but to say goodbye to the ties that bound you before.

Doing the work on yourself

As well as others not aligning to your growth you are going to have to grow yourself as a person, which also may be difficult.  You’re going to drop old belief systems, stop certain habits, and perceive yourself in a new way.  This can be tough as well, and it’s worth being aware of this.

You will find you will drop old belief systems automatically, as more and more of the 100 plugs align themselves in the correct position.

How to work on yourself and align the 100 plugs

  • There are lots of ways to do this.  Here are a few suggestions:
  • Know what your outcomes are in all areas of your life.  I find a simple word document typed up at the beginning of every six months is great.
  • Practice guided meditations to help align yourself to the outcome.
  • Meet with people who have more knowledge and expertise than you do do so their energy, knowledge and beliefs can rub off on you.
  • Take action on everything you learn.
  • Write everything down.  If you learn something new write it down before it gets lost forever in the back of your mind.
  • Practice visualization and see, feel, hear, smell and taste yourself in the outcome situation.  Do this on a regular basis.
  • Go to seminars, lectures, read books, within the field of your intended outcome.
  • Start believing in your outcome.  This will happen the more you immerse yourself in it and hang around people who have already achieved what your want to achieve.

There are lots of ways to immerse yourself in your chosen outcome; you will no doubt have your own favourite ways of doing this.  It’s not the way you do it; it’s your intention behind it all.

I remember when I first started to get serious about email marketing.  I surrounded myself with people who were already doing what I wanted to do.  There are about five people I regularly keep in touch with via Skype, and email and they are people at the top of their game, having around 1,000,000 subscribers between them.  My outcome is to have an email list, not blog subscriber size, but email list of around 100,000 by the end of this year.  By being around people who are already there, I can learn, pick up on their energy, enthusiasm, and knowledge to get there.

The KIMGRO Process

There is a process for doing all of the above, which is a simplified version of what I have been talking about above, but it will help you to learn the process much quicker.

Know exactly what your outcome is and know why you want to get there.  Do this for all areas of your life.

Immerse yourself in the outcome you want to achieve by reading, attending seminars, hanging around people who have achieved what you want, anything you can to start believing that you can achieve your outcome.

Match your beliefs thoughts, actions, behaviours, and feelings in the outcome you want to achieve.  This should happen naturally by immersion and growing yourself.

Grow yourself as much as possible, by learning as much as possible about the field your outcome is in, and start working on yourself as much as possible.  This may mean a little sacrifice: no TV, no weekend nights out, staying focused on your outcome.

Review your outcome and progress every month with a detailed review every six months.

Optimize the processes, which have been successful for you in getting closer to your outcome.

Okay, I think you get the message by now.   One last thing- enjoy the whole process, no point in achieving your outcomes if you’re not enjoying the process along the way.

Let me know your thoughts, you know I am always interested in hearing what you have to say.

Some Amazing Comments

comments

About Steven Aitchison

I am the creator of Change Your Thoughts (CYT) blog and love writing and speaking about personal development, it truly is my passion. There are over 500 articles on this site from myself and some great guest posters.
If you want to learn more about my products you can check out Steven Aitchison's Products or check out my books and Kindle books on Amazon

Comments

  1. This is very helpful. I’m going to mention you with a link to your site on my next blog post for my readers. Another belief that stops people achieving what they really want is the belief that they don’t deserve it. A good way to overcome that limiting belief is to daily write a list of reasons that they deserve their desired outcome, or daily answer the question “what do people who love me love about me?”

  2. Nice post – I see you as a mentor as you describe – you have created a great community and I have learned from what you have shared so generously – thanks! Judy
    Judy Belmont recently posted..WELCOME

  3. You should write about how to make money through blogging.

  4. Nice advice Steve. Believe and take action :-)
    http://www.wisdomthought.com/2005/02/bouncing-back-after-setbacks.html
    Francis recently posted..30-day Trial to Success

  5. awesome post. Believing is seeing. taking action is the key to success. what ever the mind of man can believe he can active!

  6. Another great post Steve ;)

  7. thanks for the advice STeven, we do need to put our heart and mind to our goals and wants
    Noch Noch
    Noch Noch | be me. be natural. recently posted..writing poetry again

  8. I can really relate to the ‘push, push’ problem. So many times I’ve pushed myself silly to reach a goal. For instance your example of reaching a certain number of subscribers – I worked my elemu off to reach my goal number. Finally decided to walk away from the stats for a week – and when I next looked I’d gone OVER the goal number. I really just needed to give the Universe a little breathing room!
    marquita herald recently posted..To Stop Procrastinating Identify Root Causes

  9. I like your valuable post it summarize the story of success in direct words
    I enjoy reading your post
    thanks alot steve

  10. Thanks, Steve. I’m glad I followed a link to your site, because I think this is what I needed today. I have been struggling with putting off some major life goals and only recently realized that I’ve been letting doubt keep me from truly committing. Your ideas of visualization and borrowing beliefs sound like something that might help me to get where I want to be.

  11. Steve,

    As a new blogger, your post was very encouraging. I’m glad you eventually figured it out and it’s going well. I’d just like to contribute to your 50 comments per article, LOL.

    Keep believing: great mentality.
    Fin recently posted..About Me

  12. Thanks Steve- You give a lot of great ideas and practical informational and it is very helpful for people like me who have just recently started blogging on personal development and emotional wellness! You are a great role model and think you are very generous to share some of your own information to make your points and help others benefit from your experience!!! Judy

  13. Hi Steven,
    Lots of juicy good stuff in this post about manifesting desires. When it comes to the blogosphere people are dying to know what the secret formula for success is.

    The majority of bloggers would be thrilled to earn just $1000 a month from their blog and if they could reach that plateau than they can always up the “anty” to higher income goals.
    Justin Mazza recently posted..Stuck In a Rut? Stop Acting Like a 4-Year-Old

  14. I have strongly come to believe in what you say here, Steve, if only I could articulate it as well as you did :) However, as a blogger, I have begun to focus on my strengths, ‘hang around’ successful people and invest in improving my knowledge and skills. KIMGRO is fantastic and I’m going to follow this. Thank you, Steve.
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Why Do We Stay?

  15. thank you for this enlightening message/article. i should be reading more of your other articles. more power! cheers

  16. Wow Steve,

    I’m a virgin visitor to your site and I have to say I totally relate to much of what you say.

    As I was going through your list I actually was comparing to what I did in my first year online, specifically my first affiliate commission of $20.

    Remembering the journey from then to now…. it has been amazing and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

    I’m now a specialist in ranking people on page one for their particular niche. Without focus and goal setting there is no direction…. I’m a big believer in small steps lead to larger goals.

    Awesome post!!

    Sandy Moore

    • Welcome to CYT Sandy, it’s great to have you here.

      That first commission is an amazing feeling isn’t it :) If it hadn’t been for that first commission I might not be doing what I am doing just now, it’s the most money I have ever earned in terms of learning and motivation.

      Glad you’re reaching your outcomes.

      Hope to see you back at CYT again.

  17. “”””by learning as much as possible about the field your outcome is in, and start working on yourself as much as possible. This may mean a little sacrifice: no TV, no weekend nights out, staying focused on your outcome.
    no TV, no weekend nights out, staying focused on your outcome.
    One last thing- enjoy the whole process”””

    “””Review your outcome and progress every month with a detailed review every six month”””
    Really works for me thnx steven

  18. Hey Steven

    Great article mate and they are awesome goals you have for 2012…

    For anyone reading this Steven has shared pure gold with us here especially for anyone who runs their own website and is wanting to see massive action…

    I can testify to what Steven is teaching as true as I am one of the ones Steven has been generously mentoring…

    And the fact is as someone who has just launched a website in the law of attraction niche of self help I have indeed borrowed from Stevens’s beliefs and actions.. just as he has encouraged others to do in this article..

    And because I have borrowed from Stevens’s beliefs and actions.. I have achieved incredible results so far.. And if all continues to go as planned.. I am on track to having an amazing year helping people and doing what I love..

    You see it is true what Steven is teaching here in that if you believe nothing will be impossible… But true belief is more than just head knowledge as Steven has shared (ie why Steven didn’t achieve his goals in his first year of blogging ie he didn’t believe).. And this is why Steven is bound to achieve and surpass his goals for 2012 because he now believes!

    I have a saying I teach my students wanting to know how to use the law of attraction to create the life of their dreams and it is this:-

    “Magic Happens When Our Thoughts, Feelings & Actions Align As One”

    This is the true belief that Steven is referring to and all the great Master teachers of the law of attraction down through the ages have also taught!.. Take Stevens advice (I know I am) his track record speaks for itself!..

    Thanks Steven and all here keep ROCKING it my Friends!..

    Chris T Atkinson
    Chris T Atkinson recently posted..My Kids And I On Youtube And Why It May Not Be A Wonderful World?

    • I have come to truly understand and believe in what you are saying Chris: “Magic Happens When Our Thoughts, Feelings & Actions Align As One”, although it sounds a bit out there, if you can really get your head around it and understand it at a deep level, and take action, then things really do start to happen.

      Loved your video of you and the kids :)

      Take care buddy.

  19. Hi Steve,

    I have always had a problem with those who teach “have a huge hairy audacious goal” because you can achieve anything. It is true we can achieve anything but we often can’t do this in one huge step.

    The further the gap between what you want and where you are, the more likely it is that you won’t believe it’s possible. When this is the case there is no way you will be able to manifest what you want.

    In my own experience I have found “being more general” at times far more advantageous than being specifically unbelievable.

    Your tips are most helpful.

    ~Marcus
    Marcus Baker recently posted..Guilt and how to Deal With it

    • HI Marcus.

      I used to believe in the big hairy audacious goals, and to a degree I still do, but we always need to know the process, and it’s the process that comes in small steps, never in one huge chunk.

      I still like being specific as it gives me something that is measurable e.g. I was 50% of the way to achieving my $10,000 per month target. I like to measure, optimize, review and continue. However I know what you mean about being general.

      Thanks for your comment buddy.

  20. Good advice Steve.

    I like the idea of immersing with other people who already have achieved the outcome we want. As you say, we can learn the beliefs, thoughts patterns, and behaviours these people are already using, and adopt them ourselves. Experience is great and we all need to make mistakes in order to learn, but if there are already strategies being used by people, which work, then we already have models we can use.
    Hiten recently posted..Hanging out over at Unlock The Door

    • Hi Hiten.

      This was a major turning point for me. I am naturally an introvert and a bit of a loner, but as soon as I met with other people who had reached the outcome I wanted to achieve things changed for the better so I truly believe in this.

  21. Being harsh all the time (dumping people from our lives) doesn’t mean it isn’t harsh. Some people will be willing to do the work to adjust their attitudes and stay with us. We can also look at why we stayed with relationships where people didn’t desire what is best for us.

    Your insight that it is about knowing (at least a little about) the process is incredibly important I think. Also that it is often ‘picked up’ from just being around people who are doing stuff is very important too.

    Many thanks for putting this stuff out there.

    • Hi Evan.

      I didn’t mean dump everyone who is not aligned to your outcomes, I mean the ones who are constantly bringing us down, or making us feel bad about changing for whatever reason. If your outcome is clear enough and strong enough your enthusiasm will rub off onto other people as well and they will stay with you throughout the journey.

      Thanks, as always, for helping me to clarify certain points in my posts.

  22. Glad to know you are finding success. I am starting out getting my website noticed by the search engines and even that seems all uphill right now. I love my book and website, but learning the SEO as I go along can be frustrating especially when that’s not what I love doing. Writing and talking to folks is what I love to do!

    Thanks for speaking out on a subject that is rarely addressed this honestly! A little bit of visualizing goes a long way in helping you reach your dreams. Thanks!

    • Hi Melissa.

      As long as you know what to do with SEO, but keep your own on the main goal, which is great writing, the SEO stuff will fall into place naturally.

      I really do believe in visualization as it helps us get in the right frame of mind and aligns feelings with thoughts, actions and behaviours.

  23. Great advice Steve! There are so many different types of advice on setting goals (or having no goals at all). Shoot for the stars so you’ll have a better chance of hitting the moon. Keep goals realistic to you’ll have a better chance of meeting them. Just do what keeps you excited and good things will happen.

    Regardless of the technique, as you’ve said, it’s the feeling part that matters. I’ve struggled with that for a long time but have more recently seen how well it works (once I figured it out). Let the Universe figure out the “how” while we continue to feel good along the way.

    Thanks Steve!!
    Paige | simple mindfulness recently posted..I Want To Change the World and I Want It Done Yesterday!

    • Hi Paige. Great to see you again, you’re becoming a regular here :)

      You’re absolutely right about the feeling part. Without that there is no gauge to tell us if the path we are on is still the right one. I do believe in LOA and the right people will come into our lives when we are ready as long as we are taking action and keep our feelings aligned with our outcome.

      Thanks for your comments, always a pleasure to read.

  24. Dave Doolin says:

    Yep, as an extreme skeptic who is nevertheless bent on succeeding, I’m doing exactly what you advocate: building all the necessary skills. That way I don’t have to think about it, I can just keep my eye on the vision and have the parts fall into place with less stress (the amount of work isn’t the problem).

    Thanks for writing about something most people wouldn’t dare.

    • Hi Dave, thanks for your comment. Gaining the knowledge needed for the process to work is a huge part of this, little by little we will get there as long as we keep taking action. Good luck in your endeavours.

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