How to Be More Outgoing

If you don’t know how to be more outgoing, then you probably wonder why it’s so easy for others to talk to people, ask their name, age, and make conversation, while it feels so unnatural to you.

Even if you have the tiniest doubt, even if doesn’t make logical sense, you’re completely discouraged from making conversation with others, especially if they are in a group.

I used to be that way, and maybe even worse. After I learned to be social, I could talk to anyone I want. In this article, I want to show you how you can stop fearing people and become more outgoing.

Why Is It So Important To Learn How To Be More Outgoing?

CYT OutgoingIn this connections-age, value gets created when people come together and create new things. Your ability to communicate with others is the key for you to earn more and have more influence on others.

On the social side, learning to be more outgoing will ensure that you don’t miss out on the opportunities that present themselves to you. Some people would love to include you in their plans and learn about you. Everyone has some kind of value to add to the table, but if you keep avoiding people, you won’t be able to share the value that you have. If you learn to be more outgoing, you’ll be able to avoid this kind of loneliness.

Does This Mean You Have To Stop Being You?

Being more outgoing doesn’t mean you have to stop being yourself and pretend to be someone else. It doesn’t mean you have to fake a new personality. You only need to decide that you want to behave in a more social way, whenever you want, and only when you think it’s appropriate.

You get more power over this when you get that you only have to do it when you want to. Do not reject your quiet, introverted nature. Instead, give yourself permission to stay alone when you want, and give yourself permission to be social when you want. You choose how much socializing you want to do.

How To Quickly Learn To Be More Outgoing

The psychology that will work for you is to consider, being more outgoing, as a new skill. Think about it as a new skill you’re going to learn, like learning a new language. People who always fail at being more social consider that the lack of social skills is part of who they are. Instead, they should think of social skills as something that anyone can learn.

Like any other skill, the more you invest in learning and practicing, the better you get at it. This simple change in psychology is exactly what makes the difference between humiliating failure, and quick progress.

How To Start: Set An Adventure Boot Camp For Yourself!

There is a simple way, and an advanced way to start learning to be more social. The simple one involves that you tweak your daily habits a little bit, to add a social element to them. This means that you will spend a tiny more time talking to waiters, cab drivers, colleagues, classmates, neighbors, friends, or anyone who already exists in your day-to-day life. You need to come up with a list of these tiny tweaks, and here is a great way to do it:

Take a piece of paper, write at the top “If I was 5% more outgoing”, and write at least 10 sentence-completions that start with “I would…” Keep that list around, and start executing those tiny little new habits, and take pride in your progress.

By the way, no one will notice the change, because it’s small, so you there is no extra pressure on you.

If you want to use an advanced way to learn how to be more outgoing, then I recommend that you go to clubs and events where it’s appropriate to approach and talk to strangers. If you go to a bar or a nightclub, that can be very hard because no one else is doing it. However, if you go to an interest group, a meet up group, an expat event, a networking event, or a professional fair, then it’s going to be ten times easier, because everyone else is doing it.

If you go to something like 5 events like that, and practice talking to strangers in a safe environment, then you’re going to sky-rocket your social skills, and you’ll inevitably learn to act in a more outgoing way.

Always remember this: Being more outgoing is a skill, and you can learn it.

Learn More

If you want to learn more techniques for meeting new people, I recommend that you get on my Free Social Skills Newsletter.

In it, I’ll show you the best techniques and strategies for meeting and making friends. I’ll also share with you effective techniques for having amazing conversations, that instantly make people want to get to know you.

See you there.
- Paul Sanders

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About Paul Sanders

Paul Sanders's Get The Friends You Want teaches you how to:
Overcome Shyness & Loneliness ; Master Conversation & Social Skills ; Make Friends & Build a Social Circle.
Start here. >> Free Social Skills Newsletter

Comments

  1. Great advice for everyone. Loneliness and social isolation is big in our society and covers all age ranges. People want to connect and belong, but shyness, feeling that you have nothing to offer, fear of rejection holds many back. If we could only leave the old negative beliefs and meet each other in our vulnerability, life would be so much better for everyone
    karen recently posted..The Art of unconditional positive Regard.

  2. I am naturally a more reserved person. I’ve realized that I need to be more outgoing if I want to attain all of my goals. This isn’t to say I need to completely change who I am, but I can’t remain in my comfort zone 100% of the time and expect things to simply happen. I’ve taken it slowly to be more outgoing more and more. I still have a long way to go, but have made great strides along the way.
    Don @ BreathofOptimism recently posted..Laughter is the Best Medicine

    • Hi, Don. What I recommend is that you get yourself a social ritual, that would literally “force” you to socialize. Why? Because just willing to do it from time to time is not enough to make you do it.

      Once you commit to helping out a social club, or a charity club, with people that meet up regularly, you’re are ten times more motivated to go and socialize. Try it out ;-)

      Paul

  3. I know a lot of people with social anxiety can develop some communication skills through Toastmasters.

    Do you ever suggest people to take part in this speaking forum?

    Thanks for a great post Paul !
    Kael recently posted..Let’s Talk About Reactions to Stress

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