Martin Luther King’s Achievements:
- travelled over six million miles and spoke over twenty-five hundred times
- awarded five honorary degrees
- named Man of the Year by Time magazine in 1963
- became not only a leader of American blacks but also a world figure.
- became the youngest man to have received the Nobel Peace Prize.
Alright, let’s be real.
At one point or another we have all looked up to someone else, and I think it’s safe to say a majority of people who are considered leaders may never amount anywhere near to what Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Nelson Mandela have done. As true as this maybe, does that mean we can’t be a leader in our own way?
I consider my father a leader, same goes for my business mentor, and even Joe, my mail man for six years.
But if we don’t need history-changing-triumphs to be considered a leader, then what do we need?
There are many characteristics that the both of us may take on when becoming a leader, to name a few:
- A Leader takes charge
- A Leader Builds teams
- A Leader has helps others succeed
All of these aspects do play a part in being a leader, but there is the question of how. How do you take charge? How do you build teams? How do you help others succeed?
In my personal experience and through what I have observed, here’s what I’ve learned when it comes to creating Newborn-Leaders.
To become a leader you must have influence, before influence you must be respected, but to be respected you must be good at something, and to strive towards being good at something…..you need:
Ambition
As obvious as it sounds that you will need to have ambition, it easy for people to not challenge themselves. And that’s because as a society, naturally, we all want the “quick fix”, a “get rich quick” strategy. Take blogging for example, working from home is ideal for everybody (mostly everybody). But it’s not easy, and I’m quickly reminded everyday as I struggle to keep my own blog alive and running. The best perks in life simply won’t come easy…unless we’re Paris Hilton.
So we have to be motivated, you and I.
Our biggest enemy is ourselves and there will be times when we (our minds) talk crap to ourselves, “ You can’t do it! Don’t even try! Give up!“
But we can’t give in. Don’t worry dude, I have your back. And I’ll be damned if I sit back while you talk shit to yourself.
What’s my Solution? Reasons.
What kind of reasons? The reasons why you’re striving to better yourself, your goals, your dreams and aspirations. Most people have very unclear and vague reasons. That’s why they fail to achieve their goals. The more in depth reasons you have the better. Ultimately, whatever your reasons may be…. yell them out loud! Upon yelling and listening to your own words of reason, if you don’t feel emotions ignited within your body–you better go back to the drawing board.
Why do you want to stir up your emotions?
Because the “impossible” happens when our emotions come into play. Take the countless stories of super-humans lifting up the “impossible” upon having a gush of emotions ignite their bodies.
Simply put, I want you to strive to set out on finding reasons that ignite you emotionally. Besides, if you’re emotionally affected by your reasons, it’s normally a good (or bad) sign that what you’re fighting for matters.
As you may or may not know, I teach people how to mingle and build relationships for a living and I worked hard to get where I am. There were many times when I went out to social events alone trying to meet and build connections with strangers. It was scary, sometimes traumatizing, meeting strangers alone. My mind would say discouraging things–variations of how I could not take charge, how I could not make friends, but mostly how I would not be successful. I was at a point in my life where I felt secluded, that no one liked me, and I was afraid that I would end up alone in life.
But in those moments of doubt, I realized that I wanted my life to be filled with friends who appreciated me for me. I knew that my future depended upon the relationships that I would build during those times.
And that’s when I manned up and decided to follow my ambitions.
Ultimately, the fear of being alone was more than enough for me to get my ass through that door and take action for my life. And those were my reasons to achieve my goals on becoming a social coach.
Four years later, 45 cities all over the world later, hundreds of clients who I’ve successfully coached later… here I am, talking to you. I wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t have reasons that emotionally ignited my body to take action.
Now my question to you is this: What are Your reasons?
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Hey Parker, welcome to the CYT group of authors, a growing list of great bloggers.
I thought this was a great post when you first sent it through but reding it over I think it’s even better. You have picked a hugely inspirational figure in Martin Luther King and the qualities he displayed is amazing.
I am so glad you spoke about emotions playing a big part in our decision making processes and helping in getting our butts in gear. I have found time and time again if there are strong emotions linked with a goal the goal will be achieved so much quicker.
Thanks for a great post Parker.
Steven, I cannot thank you enough for giving me this opportunity to write for your fantastic site!
Thank you so much for the compliment, to be honest with you–for some reason, it reads better now than it did when I sent it to you through email..ha ha.
Once again, Thank you for having me!
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
Hi Parker Lee,
Indeed, like any quality; leadership requires being conscious of being a leader. When we exercise our Right of Consciousness we grant ourselves the authority to express and experience any quality we desire. It is wise to contemplate the value it will offer… If you someone wants to be a successful leader so they can buy a nice new car… don’t deny it! Say it loud and proud to yourself. Always keep in mind that any material gains are simply reminders that you are expressing your superlatively creative nature… and that is the true joy in life.
Hey Rob, always with the wise words! I couldn’t agree more, most people have trouble getting things done because their minds aren’t even capable of letting them succeed.
I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve had in the past who have wanted to make a great first impressions on that first date, but walk out the door with a very, very messy place.
I then question them by asking: What happens if you bring them back to your place, you know… because the date will be going really well?
“You know what Parker? I didn’t really think of that.”
Winners will always have a winning positive mindset, think it and it will happen.
Thanks for your thoughts buddy-!
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
He shared what all great people had. He knew his goal. He had a very clear mental picture of what success looked like. He stayed focused and was always taking the next step. He is a great example of tenacious.
LL Rhodes recently posted..Jet Fuel for Visualizations
Hey LL Roades,
Great acknowledgments–in good order… Vision. Action Steps. Stay Focused
parker lee | howtomingle recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
Emotions play a huge part in the decisions we make, especially those that stir the greatest changes in our lives. Nice article Parker.
Colleen recently posted..New Tri Cities Washington Home Listings For July 27- 2010
I couldn’t agree more, Colleen! Thanks you
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
Parker Lee,
I really enjoyed your post. Finding role models is a key element of self improvement in my opinion. The serve as inspiration and examples that we can attempt to emulate. I also like your criteria for being recognized as competent. I am not so certain that competence in any given skill is necessary for a leader. I think having vision and being able to inspire through that vision are really the key elements. However, I suppose that depends on the leadership role you wish to take. MLK was a great speaker, had a phenomenal and motivating vision. His greatest strength was inspiration and rallying his followers to a cause. He was a man we should all learn from.
Thanks for such a great post.
Chris
Chris Akins recently posted..You cannot- not learn
Hi Chris,
“I suppose that depends on the leadership role you wish to take. MLK was a great speaker, had a phenomenal and motivating vision.”
I cannot agree with you more, it all depends on where you want to end up, from there emulate people who have already done it.
I appreciate your thoughts Chris–out of curiosity, which leader would you consider role model for yourself?
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
Reasons have to be simple, raw, and honest. Ultimately my reason is to change the world, but that’s like matyring myself to fail. I keep it simple: do something that motivates me to keep doing it over and over, never have to check the bank balance because I want to do something, support my family, and smile every day. Oh, and change the world. Nice post Parker Lee.
Helloo Simon,
lol, I enjoy your honest and simple feed back. I think you’ve pretty much nailed what everyone would love to have in their lives…
and you’re right, it’s far more worth it to do something you love than hate.
unless, it’s keeping us from eating 3 meals a day and having a roof over our heads
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
Very inspirational post! Thanks a lot for sharing it! I’ve enjoyed it!
Hi Roman,
Thank you very much! I appreciate the feedback
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
I like the concept that a leader helps others suceed. Often leadership is thought of as being completely in control but I see leading others as empowering them to improve themselves- this makes the team stronger as a whole. It also makes people more productive, happier and more likely to reach their goals – which also means benefits for the leader.
My reasons are to help people become happier, through improving their self confidence and self esteem, and this continues to spark passion day after day. Which means I am doing OK (or at least I like to think so!!)
Kate recently posted..Lessons from Budapest – Slow Down and Take Note
Hi Kate,
“Often leadership is thought of as being completely in control but I see leading others as empowering them to improve themselves- this makes the team stronger as a whole. It also makes people more productive, happier and more likely to reach their goals – which also means benefits for the leader.”—-You’re preaching to the choir!
“My reasons are to help people become happier, through improving their self confidence and self esteem, and this continues to spark passion day after day. Which means I am doing OK (or at least I like to think so!!)”–Kate
I think having a sense of fulfillment in life is crucial for healthy living. Mother Theresa is a great example of not caring about the perks of “fine” living, but still enjoying life to the fullest.
Thanks for sharing Kate
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
Top notch Parker. I love your challenge to ignite ourselves and the blue touch paper that leads to the dynamite inside. Then we become the leader in our own life and can scale our own heights. Super encouragement and inspiration.
John Sherry recently posted..Three Promises That Will Change Your Life
Hey John!
y’know what? I was actually concerned that “my challenge” was a bit too intense, but in the end I decided to just go with it… now I’m glad I did.
thanks for your thoughts John !
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
Hi,
I love Martin Luther King. I’ve been to view his home, church and the eternal flame on his birthday anniversary in Atlanta. It was very moving. Thanks for the reminder of how great one can be when they act on their dreams. Also I appreciate adding your own success at the end of the article.
Hi Tess,
Really? Did you travel to Atlanta for just that? Not that it’s a bad thing, it’s great if you did, I’ve just never personally met anyone who appreciated him to the point of making it a mission to visit his home, church and eternal flame.
Thanks for your contribution Tess!
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
I think no one can duplicate MLK. He is the reason for Barack Obama. He words carried so much power is a shame how he lost his life. As a Personal who believes in the power of your words and the vision of ones dreams. All I have to say is. If anyone on this post comment section has a dream. Not just a pipe sculpture but a real canvas of ideas and possibilities.
Just follow it. Just be. Nothing more than that.
If you have a dream, follow it period. Only God can judge you and I think he’ll be proud you if you decided to make something out of yourself. So go out and lead the field everyone. It starts with you.
P.S: It’s it crazy how one man can change the world with his words of wisdom and the integrity to back it up. I wonder what would the world be like if he was president??
Heey Jonathan,
I love your passion in this subject, and you’re very right–it all starts from a vision: the more descriptive, the better.
If MLK became president, besides the obvious of the world changing for the better… I believe he would still be assassinated, just because he’s such a mover and a shaker. People knew he was great, that’s why they were afraid of his limitless possibilities and did.
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
But what happens when as life changes, so do our emotional reasons? Isn’t it uncertain to rely on our feelings towards a certain reason to reach a goal?
If I am emotionally driven to look at myself years down the lane and think,’Yes I made it, no matter who didn’t believe in me’, what if a couple of years later, I realize I don’t need to prove myself to those people? That I am ok with what I am. Then the goal won’t be as important to me, and right now, I want it to be no matter what the circumstance!
Hi Nahl
You bring a good view into it, I believe it doesn’t matter what your reasons are, as long as emotions are involved. As unstable as emotions can be, I believe that if your emotions force you to do positive outcomes..,, it shouldn’t really matter.
You can get hurt by losing a good friend by being a jerk, but if you use that emotional stress to better your life, learning from your mistakes… even if your reasons are ” I don’t need anyone!”
The point is that you’re in the mindset of succeeding, and yes. It is definitely important to have a mindset of that you shouldn’t prove to anyone, but hopefully life will eventually ingrain that into you.
With this type of subject, I don’t think one should try to look into the future too much, it’s all in the process. Enjoy it
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..I Lost a Lot of Weight But Resent All the Men Who Now Find Me Attractive
Hi Parker. This post was quite inspiring. My reasons have changed over the years but ultimately it all comes back to experiencing joy. I was extremely motivated to provide a great childhood for my daughter and I’ve done that. Now that she’s almost an adult, I’m motivated by the example I desire to set for her. She’s my main reason for so many things and that evokes more emotion than I can ever describe.
Nea | Self Improvement Saga recently posted..Self Improvement Techniques to Reshape Your World
Martin Luther King ! wow what a personality to compare ourseleves . Offcourse everyone wants to be a leader but we should not compare with , those who changed the course of time and era in which they were living and effecting furture , but one must try to be leader to influnce around.