Personal Development

Contacting Your Hero: Gain Priceless Advice, While Giving Them The Greatest Compliment Ever

A businessman an businesswoman  shaking hands
Written by Juha Kardo

Whatever dream you may have for your future, you can be sure that someone has already figured out how to make it into a reality.

Have you ever considered going to one of these people directly for advice?

If you haven’t, you really should, since this one action might save you hundreds of hours of frustration along your path to achieving your dreams.

But these experts are superhuman, aren’t they? There’s no way I could just approach them directly for advice.

Most people aren’t bold enough to get in touch with these valuable individuals. This is a shame, since these are the people to contact if you want to take massive progress towards your goals.

But what we do instead?

We ask advice from people we are comfortable talking to, no matter what their level of expertise is.

Your mom might not be the greatest help when it comes to advice on starting your own business.

You should always try to reach the people who have actual experience.

Asking advice from the right person can mean the difference between realizing your dreams, or falling flat on your face.

The reason we’d rather keep to ourselves

Sure, it can be a bit frightening to contact these people who have much more experience than you.

They have all kinds of titles, and rewards to show for their efforts. To you, they might almost seem like gods because they’ve been able to succeed in something you only dream about.

This social status acts as a barrier for contact in most cases. Even the idea of contacting these people, is way too much for most people to handle. It isn’t even considered an option.

You’ll be a bit nervous before contacting someone who you admire. This is expected.

But I’ve discovered that most people have completely unrealistic expectations of what would happen if they did approach someone more experienced. These beliefs make the process much harder than it need be.

For some reason we imagine that these people would never even talk to us. We might even picture these people laughing at our simple questions, and possibly even getting mad.

What if I told you that, in real life, the complete opposite reaction could be closer to the truth?

Hey, they’re human too

When you ask someone for advice you are actually giving them the greatest compliment they’ve ever received!

Let me explain.

Think back on a time when someone came to you, asking for advice on a topic you’re experienced in. Didn’t you feel flattered?

The person who approached you was actually saying that he respects your achievements and considers you capable of helping him to the next level.

When people ask me for advice I’m always happy to help, and I want to give these people the best guidance I’m capable of giving.

The people you look up to probably think the same way as well.

Chances are that the person you reach out to is dying to share his experience with other like-minded people. It could even lead to a long lasting relationship.

But only if you do it right.

The three steps to asking for advice successfully

With a little common sense you’ll be just fine when asking for advice.

Still, it’s good to have a general idea of how to do it the right way.

I’d break the process into three steps:

1. Prepare: Come prepared with questions that are worthy of the expert’s time. If you come in with a question you could have easily Googled, you are wasting both of your time. Remember to respect her time to the highest degree possible.

2. Listen up: When you get in contact with your person of choice, you need to be all ears. This isn’t the time to argue or debate. Listen up, and hang tight on every word. Keep in mind that this person has actually experienced what you are still only dreaming of doing.

3. Give thanks: No matter what the response was, remember to thank the person at the end of the interaction. Let them know how much you value their advice.

Follow these steps and you’ll create a pleasurable experience for both people.

In conclusion

Many of us have very distorted beliefs about what would happen if we contacted someone we admired for advice. These views stand in the way of us getting in contact with people who could change our lives for the better.

You owe it to yourself, to at least test, if these beliefs hold any truth in reality.

Asking for advice can be a bit scary but the potential rewards are well worth it. Overcoming the initial discomfort could lead to incredibly valuable advice from someone with real life experience.

Most people want to help, and they?ll be flattered that you came to them for advice.

Do this the right way and you’ll be creating a win-win situation for both parties.

Have you ever asked an expert for advice? What was the result? Please leave your comments below!

Some Amazing Comments


About the author

Juha Kardo

Juha is on a mission to develop Mental Superpowers. If you enjoyed this article you can find more at his blog Prince Awakened. There you can also get access to The Quick 4 Step Guide to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose.


  • Hi! Nice post!
    I’ve recently discovered that my girlfriend has amazing advice even in fields she doesn’t know anything about … Bottom line: any person can have good advice, and when i say ANY i mean ANY. We all have and had different experiences and interests and for that reason any person will come up with his own point of view and his own ideas on a subject…

    Don’t be afraid of requesting advice… or just letting others know your worries, troubles and obstacles, and myabe they will give you a workaround, or an other solution you never thought about!

    • Very good point Nicolas!

      One thing that came to my mind while reading your comment was that it might be beneficial for people to ask for advice from the elders of our society – like our grandparents, for example.

      They have much more life experience to draw from and they’d probably love to help!

  • Thank you Juha! I’m working very hard to get exposure for my website and book and believe guest blogging might be a good start. The good news is that it’s not hard to contact folks that you want to be associated with! Thank you again for a push in the right direction! :)

    Melissa Curran
    Author of
    Find Your Paradigm: The Art of Living With Grace and Ease

  • Hi Juha,
    Over the past few years I began going directly to people who are successful in areas I want to be. Sure, it is uncomfortable at first but like anything in life, it gets easier the more we do it.

    Take Care.

    • Hi Justin,

      I think many avoid contacting people they admire because they want to avoid the uncomfortable feeling. I’m glad you’ve take action in spite of it.

  • There’s nothing like getting advice from an expert. If we get the chance to do such, we shouldn’t pass up that opportunity. Additionally, we should value that chance and appreciate what we learned from that person, whether we agree with his advice or not.

  • Hi Juha,

    Great post. I’d just like to add that you also need to ‘take action on their advice’ if you want the relationship to continue.

    People more experienced love giving advice, and you’re right, it is the greatest form of compliment! However, if the same person keeps asking for adice without implementing the previous advice then they will lose interest and not feel the time spent is worthwhile and of use.

    I’ve seen this happen all too often where people go in with good intentions but fail to executive anything from it.

    The key, as always, is to ‘take action’.


    • Hi Brendan,

      Thats a great point you added!

      I guess it’s truly the greatest compliment to take immediate action on the advice you receive.

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