Over the last 5 years of writing this blog there have been exactly 18,925 comments on 695 posts, an average of 27 comments per post. Whilst this is great and we get to see some readers who comment regularly, it occurred to me that I don’t really know the people who comment, except for a few of you.

So I wanted to get to know you better as a reader, a commenter, a friend, and as a product buyer.

In this post I would love it if you could leave a comment below telling me all about yourself. You can promote your products (as long as you’re not a spammer ), promote your blog, or just tell us more about you and what your hopes and aspirations are.

Why am I doing this?

You have been part of the CYT community either for a few days or a few years and I would love it if everybody who stops by here on a regular basis could just promote themselves for a change.  I have been talking through my posts, interacting through comments, and talking via email, but I’ve not had a real chance to listen to you talk about you.

• Introduce Yourself below (even if you are a regular here)
• Tell us about you, your work, your blog or product
• Tell us a little about your hopes and aspirations for yourself
• Promote the hell out of you

Is there a price to your dream? How much will you sell your dream for? Are you willing to give up big money to live your dream?

When Sylvester Stallone was just starting out in life, it was a miserable life for him. Before his big breakthrough with ROCKY, he was a nobody. He lived life on the go, earning bare minimum from film roles no one wanted to take.

In his early acting career, he took part in some soft porn films. For him, it was a matter of survival. Once he recounted how he had to live at a New York City Port Authority bus station for three weeks while waiting for an assignment that eventually paid him $200.

Although he was a nobody to people, he was someone big to himself. All he ever wanted to do in his life was to become a writer/actor. He held on to this when the environment he was in and people around him beat him to the ground. He knew how to get up and continue living his dream. Hasn’t that become the trademark of all his ROCKY films?

His big break came after watching a boxing match involving the great Muhammad Ali and Chuck Wepner in March of 1975. Like Stallone, Wepner was a nobody against the greatest heavyweight champion of the world. Yet, he never knew how to quit. After that, Stallone was so inspired that he when home and wrote the original script of ROCKY in 20 straight hours.

Stallone did not just write the script, but he also knew that this was his own dream. He must be ROCKY no matter what.

When a film producer eventually decided to take his script and start the movie production, the company was willing to pay Stallone big bucks for it. There was only one problem – Stallone wanted to be ROCKY.

But the producers could never put an ugly guy that could not speak properly as the main character. So they began raising the offer to prevent Stallone from starring in his own movie. That price eventually came to $325,000.

That was a fortune in the 1970s. Still, Stallone turned it down. He was ready to walk out of the deal because he believed in his dream so strongly.

Finally, the producers relented and allowed Stallone to be ROCKY in their new movie, but they also reduced the amount paid to Stallone to $35,000. Stallone was ready to hold onto his dream no matter what.

Listen to Anthony Robbins recount this true story of Sly Stallone.

Until you are willing to let go of everything, you will never truly succeed and fly in life. In any fight, it is the man who is willing to risk everything that will find success.

ROCKY eventually won Best Picture, Best Directing and Best Film Editing at the Academy Awards. Since then, there were another five ROCKY films, each inspiring millions more to look at their lives and live their dreams no matter what.

What would have happened if Stallone sold his script for $325,000?

ROCKY is always about getting knocked down but never knocked out. It epitomized the true human spirit of going the distance no matter what. How have you been knocked down lately? How are you reacting to those knockdowns? Is life too hard sometimes?

Life is hard because it calls on us to do the impossible. Life believes in us! Do we believe in ourselves? I end with this famous quote from ROCKY BALBOA, the last of the ROCKY films:

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”

 - ROCKY BALBOA

]]> http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/how-much-do-you-believe-your-dream-will-cost/feed/ 29 http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/one-question-and-merry-christmas/ http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/one-question-and-merry-christmas/#comments Sat, 24 Dec 2011 17:09:09 +0000 Steven Aitchison http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/?p=6158

I’m just getting ready to go out for our family meal and then off to the movies to see Sherlock Holmes. This is a Christmas Eve tradition our family have and I absolutely love it.

I just wanted to write to wish you all a fantastic Christmas, wherever you are in the world.

I also wanted to ask you one question:

What is the one big goal you hope to achieve in 2012?

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin — real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

Father Alfred D’Souza

Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking once offered to show a young man in despair a place where thousands of people had no problems at-all.

The young man, eager to hear about such a place, was not so pleased when he found out where it was.

It was Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx.

Peale argued that if you’re alive you’re going to have problems. Using a reframe that might be a stretch for some he further said: “If today you have no problems, I urge you, go home as fast as you can. Go into your room, lock the door, fall to your knees and cry out to the Lord, “What’s the matter Lord? Don’t you trust me any more? Give me some problems!”’

Yes, I can hear you making some barely printable comment or more charitably muttering saying ‘”Sheesh!” Give me a break. Who’d want more problems?’

And you’d be right – most people don’t want more problems.

But I’m betting you are not most people. You are interested in taking your development to the next level (or you wouldn’t be reading this blog!) and while I hate to say it – problems are one of the routes to get there.

But I still don’t want problems!

Am I channeling Larry Winget (author of Shut up, stop Whining and Get a Life) when I say wishing they were gone won’t get rid of them? We will never be without problems* so the sooner you face up to that fact the sooner you’ll be focusing beyond them to solutions.

Therefore it’s in our best interests to develop a good robust mindset for dealing with problems. As the quote says ‘these obstacles ARE your life” and the quality of your life can improve in proportion to your attitude to problem solving.

We have framed problems as terrible, awful, something to moan about etc.  And so we “as we think so we are” and problems and inconveniences produce uncomfortable and so-called negative feelings – and accordingly are experienced as awful events that just get in the way of us having what we want.

I tell you – when you visit a third-world economy country – and then come back to seeing people having a fit in the superstore because they had to wait five minutes to pay for their piled high trolley of food – it puts things in perspective.

Many things we think of as problems are merely reflections of our lack of patience and our spoilt brat expectations of getting our own way. A life with so few problems is a luxury of the West and not reality for most of mankind.

But the fact remains – We will always have problems. If we’re going to succeed we need to learn to love them.

Love my problems? Yeah, right?

I will be the first to admit this process can seem HARD and it seemingly goes against the grain. But that only exemplifies the power of the case we’ve built up against them.

If….if you can learn to approach problems with excitement and verve, IF you can LOVE them – you can gain a tactical advantage over 90% of people in the world**.

More on how to do this further down.

Problems can make you rich.

It has been said “Don’t become a millionaire for the money, make a million for the person you will become in the process.”

Now, hopefully you’re planning to be an ethical, philanthropic contributor to society rather than paranoid billionaire locked in a room with talons for fingernails (sorry Howard) but either way – to get there – you’ll need to overcome lots and lots of problems to get there.

Millionaires (unless they inherit) get paid for solving problems. You can get paid for solving problems. In fact, you DO get paid for solving problems – think about it.

The more problems you can solve (and the bigger those problems) the more value you can add – and the more you can get paid. Imagine if you were the person who invented the wheel – think of the royalties from that…!

Adding value to other peoples’ lives increases the impact you can have in this world. And since ‘making a difference’ is so often on peoples’ list of values when you are known as an avid problem solver you will win people to you.

You can lead in your field. You can be a servant leader, providing for mankind in some area. And you can feel a whole darn lot better about your life.

So how do we change our attitude to solving problems?

Change our reaction to problems

Paul Stoltz in The Adversity Quotient suggests we retrain our brain’s reactions to hearing about problems. Instead of groaning he advises we sound klaxons like this one:

Likewise, we can also force ourselves to rejoice when we have a problem:

When I was training to be a coach the trainers would have the class raise their hands in the air and shout “How fantastic!” when they had an insight.

Doing this when you realize you have a problem to solve helps break the neuro-linguistic-semantic state that used to get you down.

Yes, it’ll feel weird at first like laughing when something isn’t funny but you’ll get used to it.

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got. If you don’t feel the love, fake it until you do!

Increase your ability to bear pain

Peter Daniels is a 78 year-old Christian billionaire who is one of the four-hundred richest men in the world.

When asked on a talk show what one of the secrets to his success was, he said “my willingness to bear pain”. Daniels said that to be a success you need to be willing to bear pain, suffering, humiliation and ridicule.

Although he didn’t specifically mention problems it is obvious he had overcome numerous odds to get where he was. Did I mention he had gone bankrupt 4 times and was illiterate until age 27?

He once asked an audience member on his show if he thought he could make a million pounds in two years. The guy said ‘no’. He then asked the participant if he could make the money if his wife and three kids would be killed if he didn’t. The guy said ‘of course’.

And there you have it. With a powerful enough motivational source you could overcome most any problems in your life or give it such a good go you wouldn’t feel bad if you failed!

But what would drive you to endure, to pursue solutions with the same intensity you would have if you’re loved ones would be killed?

What would be so important not to loose, what would be a loss so grievous you would do almost anything to avoid it?

Conversely, what do you value so much you would live for?

“Let someone else get killed!” “Suppose everyone on our side felt that way?” “Well then I’d certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn’t I?” “Englishmen are dying for England, American’s are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can all be worth dying for?” “Anything worth living for,” said Nately, “is worth dying for.” “And anything worth dying for,” answered the old man, “is certainly worth living for.”

Joseph Heller, Catch 22

What are you willing to endure for your goal?

Identify yourself as a problem solver

This one comes from Switch by Chip & Dan Heath. People who identify themselves with an idea become more likely to behave in a way congruent with that idea.

Remember a time when you really loved solving a problem. Perhaps you didn’t identify it as a problem but it was a situation in need of a solution so it could be defined as a problem.

When you see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel what you felt, adjusting your body to allow the maximum experience of this you can stand, imagine what it would be like having this feeling as you approach other problems?

For example, if you enjoyed planning a holiday, what if solving that knarly work issue felt like the joyful anticipation of a week on the beach?

If you choose to accept the definition, you acted as a problem solver that time.

Now, think of all the problems you have solved throughout your life. Everything you have had to work out how to do is a problem you have solved. From walking, to baking a cake to figuring out how to fund that holiday in three months rather than six, these are all examples of how you have used your problem solving abilities. Don’t dismiss it, you did those things and what seems effortless to you may be hard for someone else.

In the field of NLP we call using a strategy that was successful in one area in another ‘mapping across’. If you want a real in depth discussion of how you can develop new strategies try NLP Volume 1.

Redefine your meanings of problems and pain

As I alluded to earlier, a good frame to have is: “I love problems because they make me rich!”

Additionally, here are some frames you could use:

• Problems are solutions waiting to be found
• I’m bigger than any problem
• Don’t tell me a storm is coming, tell the storm my God is coming
• What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
• Problems are opportunities: in the middle of every adversity is the seed of its own solution (Napoleon Hill).

If you have a particular problem (ha!) with your concept of problems and pain, get the Change your Concepts Change your Life which will help you map out and redefine your conceptual states of mind – leading to a change in your behavior.

Redefine your expectations of ‘settling’

At what point do you want to stop solving problems?

I ask because, truly, perhaps you’re satisfied with where you’re at in life?  Perhaps you really don’t need to solve some of the problems that others insist are part of everyday life.

You could be happy to rent not buy, normal in some parts of Europe.

You might be happy being single when everyone tells you that marriage is wonderful (it is!)

But you get my point.

Or perhaps you’re conflicted inside because you don’t want to venture outside your comfort zone but know you need to in order to grow.

You need to give yourself permission to redefine your expectations of where you stop.

This can be as simple as putting your attention inside your head and telling yourself in an authoritative voice: “I give myself permission to press on, even though I feel uncomfortable.”

I mean, imagine what would open up to you if you didn’t value listening to your problems any more…!

So here you have some thoughts on problems. We will always have them, so let’s step up and learn to love solving them, if not the issues themselves.

Our entire futures can be changed by the issues we solve for ourselves and those we love. So problems? Bring it on!

*(Yes, if you like you can reframe this to “I don’t have problems I have solutions waiting to be found” – fine, if that works for you. )

“The best way you can cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up” – Mark Twain

Ever felt like sulking?

It’s hard in today’s world, right? Everyone seems to be out for their own gain. People would rather frown than smile, would rather moan about the world than delight in its benefits. Doom and gloom everywhere we see.

But this isn’t reality, it’s only our reality. What we perceive the world to be is only our own perspective based on our beliefs and experiences. If we believe the world to be grey and miserable, it will appear that way. If we perceive the world to be stressful and difficult, then it will appear that way. Whatever way you look at it, the world will adjust itself to fit your views. Harsh? Maybe, but it’s true.

So why not stop sulking, and be happy? Here are nine ways to stop moaning like it’s the end of the world, and start enjoying yourself again:

1. There Will Never Be Another You

I’m the most important person in my life.

Sound cocky? Arrogant? Whatever it sounds like, it’s true, and it always will be true. I’m the most important person for me, as you are the most important person for you. This applies to everyone, regardless of age, sex, race, culture, etc. In other words, the only person who will be able to live the mass potential that is your life, is you. No-one else will have the chances that you have, and no-one else will experience the same opportunities that you will encounter. It’s all down, ultimately, to you, and that won’t ever change.

An example: no-one will re-live Tony Robbin’s rise to stardom, but Tony Robbins won’t be able to experience what you experience. That’s all down to you, and no-one else.

2. You Can Change At Any Point

There are going to be points in your life which you won’t like; you might not like the way you behaved in a confrontation, or you might not have spent as much time with the children in the past. Well guess what? We have a gift to change all that.

We have the gift to look at ourselves and reflect on what isn’t working. And then change it. We can change anything in our lives at any point, for something better. How about that? We can transform our lives whenever we want! Anytime you feel down, you can take action to feel better, and to do better, simply by changing your thoughts.

3. You Control You

Sometimes we genuinely believe we are forced into situations where we have no control, where we have to do what we’re told. This, I preach, is false.

We are never forced into anything. Everything that we do, we choose to do, whether we recognise it or not. Granted, there will be moments in life where it would be extreme to go against what you’re told, but the same applies. Only you have control over your actions.

We ALWAYS have the power to choose what we do next, no matter how much of it we exert. No-one else controls you, and you control no-one else. You control you.

4. Look Outside

Here’s a tip; if you wanna sulk, take a look outside instead. Ignore the grey, dull clouds if there are any, and look closer. Everything is always there, but how often do we take it all in? There’s a whole universe up there beyond the sky, and all the wonders of mankind. Yet all we can find is complaints about the weather.

Next time you’re feeling down, look out your window, see what is there, and don’t take it for granted. Really appreciate everything for what it is. Just picture in your mind what there is in the world and beyond. It might even make you happy.

5. Talk To Someone New

A key reason why we sulk is because we don’t like our friends. We blame our friends for making our lives miserable, when this is far from the truth. If they deliberately set out to make us miserable we wouldn’t be friends with them in the first place!

I remember looking back at one year in my life, and realising that I made one new friend over the whole year. Only one! I was shocked at the stagnation of my social circle. That’s right, my circle had stagnated. Not good.

If you lack interesting conversations, try talking to new people. People you wouldn’t normally talk to. At the very worst, you’ll end up back where you started. At the very best, you’ll have a new friend for life. Sounds like a good deal to me.

6. What Do You Love?

A lot of people move through life, and moan about it along the way, being totally unsure about what it is that they actually want to do. People in their fifties, even sixties, are still in jobs which they hate, yet they’re too afraid to leave because they don’t know what they’d do otherwise. They haven’t taken the time to discover what it is they truly love to do, not just as a career, but for life.

What is it that you love doing? Really think on it here, what spurs you on? What can you see yourself doing as a career, spending most of your weekday hours towards? Take your time, be sure about what you want to do. Then charge towards it like an unstoppable animal!

7. Smile

All you have to do is…

Extend your muscles in your mouth and smile. No matter where you are, just smile. Smile for yourself, smile for everyone to see. Show the world you can be happy.

Your Turn

Do you feel uplifted after reading this article? If not, why not? How do you uplift yourself, and when? Let us know in the comments below

The sun, silently, slid down on the horizon as I sipped a cup of coffee. The air, still warm, but with a gentle bite of cold, breathed on the garden in front of me. I sat and fixated on a Photinia Red Robin tree, I listened, and everything went quiet. I felt it, felt the rush of being connected, ever so briefly, to the world around me. No noises inside my head, no thoughts to disturb me, just a feeling of peace, just a moment of silence – it was beautiful!

When did you last stop?

Let me give you an example.  Assume you had the beliefs: I’m not loveable. Relationships don’t work.  Men/women can’t be trusted.

With these beliefs, what are the possibilities that you could have a really good, nurturing, long-term romantic relationship?  … Slim to nil, right?

Now let’s assume you completely eliminate those beliefs.  Can you see you have just created the possibility of a good, nurturing, long-term relationship that literally didn’t exist before? There is no guarantee you will ever find such a relationship, but the possibility exists now that didn’t exist before.

This is one of the most powerful consequences of eliminating beliefs: You not only change your behavior and feelings, you actually change the reality you live in.

Here’s another example.  Let’s assume you held the following beliefs: You have to work hard to make money. I’m not deserving. I’ll never have enough money. /There is never enough money. Money is a struggle. Life is difficult. Your reality with those beliefs does not include the possibility of acquiring wealth easily, if at all.  Without those beliefs the possibility comes into existence.

The possibilities that exist in your reality are defined by your beliefs. When you say something is impossible it actually becomes impossible for you. If you believe Life is difficult, you will experience things not going the way you wanted them to go as upsetting obstacles rather than exciting challenges.  If you believe I’m not capable or I’m not competent, would you likely try to do something you believe you can’t do?  And if you tried, do you think you would succeed with these beliefs?

Beliefs Create An Organization’s Environment

Even the environment in which an organization operates is largely a function of its beliefs.  When I do workshops for CEOs I tell them that the biggest barrier their organization faces is not in the world (competition, government, costs, etc.), but in the minds of their employees.

For example, if most of the people in a company believe that something is impossible—such as outsourcing, raising capital, finding qualified new employees, or reaching a certain sales or earnings target—that belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, because the employees will operate according to a reality consistent with their beliefs.  If something is impossible, there is no sense in trying to do it.

Notice that you don’t have to do anything (other than eliminate the belief) in order to create a new possibility and literally change your reality.  Your reality changes automatically after the belief(s) has been eliminated.

As amazing as that is, another remarkable thing occurs: When fundamental changes in our behavior and feelings occur after eliminating a few beliefs, we usually are not even aware of the change.

If there are no beliefs in the way, all we have to do to make a change in our way of living is to make a commitment to the change, and it usually occurs.  Sometimes we don’t know how and have to get some needed information, and then the change happens.  But it’s not so easy when there are beliefs in the way.

When we try to act inconsistently with our beliefs—such as trying to create wealth or relationships when we have beliefs that act as barriers, or trying to stop procrastination when we have beliefs that necessitate it—we are aware both of the struggle to change and our inability to produce lasting change.

Our Reality Changes Without Us Even Noticing It

But when the belief(s) is gone, we unconsciously do whatever we choose to do and there is no resistance.  We just automatically do it.  Because there is no resistance, because we are able to make the change so easily, we frequently are not even aware that the old barriers are gone.

One of the most dramatic examples of that fact was when I once asked a client whom I hadn’t talked to for a few months about her sex life.  She replied, “It’s fine, why do you ask?”  I read to her from her file the details of her lack of interest in sex that had plagued her for years, which she had related to me just a few months earlier.  She was flabbergasted.  “I totally forgot that that’s how it used to be.  My new feelings and behavior now seem so natural and automatic I just take them for granted.”

When you drive down a highway and come across a barrier in the middle of the road, you are aware of trying to remove the roadblock so you can drive on.  After you remove the roadblock and you then drive down that same highway a few times, at some point you drive down the highway and forget that the barrier had ever been there.

It’s so easy to create new possibilities for yourself.  What are you waiting for?

If you haven’t yet eliminated at least one of your limiting self-esteem beliefs using the Lefkoe Belief Process go to http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free where you can eliminate one limiting belief free.

Complaining, criticising and condemning are not going to help you improve your life or work. All these can change, as you change your thoughts, and decide to take action for what you do not like.

Work is Crap or Life is Crap?

Take time to contemplate your life. Is your life crappy now or is it your job? It is always easy to blame your job for other parts of your life that is not working well. My theory is that work takes up a big part of your waking hours, hence you conclude that must be the reason you are unhappy. Look around you, what are the parts that you feel need improvement? If you work on the areas of your life that are not going well you will feel better about your work.

Spring Clean Your Life

You take out the trash from your house everyday. Do you take the trash out from your life?

Spring clean your life. Look in all the nooks and cranny. Take a day and do nothing but write down everything you want to do and need to do, your dreams and your fears. Absolutely everything.

Even the smallest things like change the light bulb and get stamps for postcards you have been wanting to send for ages. The idea is to clear your mind and sort out your life. The exercise itself is empowering. For one, you will see clearly what needs to be done. What’s that got to do with work? When you start to write, inevitably, you will confront the issues in your life and your work. It crystalises the issues for you.

Are You Blinded by Your Own Arrogance?

Very often people are blinded by their own arrogance. They like to point their fingers elsewhere when in fact they may be the source of the problem. Let me give you an example; your issues at work, how much of it is contributed by your own flaws? To be fair to others, when you point your fingers at others three are pointing back at you. Look within; are there things you can improve?

Do You Set Goals?

I am a big fan of goals. You won’t know where to score if you do not know where the goal posts are, do you? Set goals. That becomes your target and it allows you to positively focus the time and energy instead of wasting your energy complain and lamenting about the unfairness of things at work. Write down all your goals at work and in life. When you write down and read your work and life goals they will form a meaning and suddenly it will become clear to you what you need to do.

Give Up, Give In, Give Away

You are always asked to add things to your life. Enhance this, add this and increase that. It seems like your problems will go away if you just add. But life can also be easier if you subtract.

How can you do this? Ask yourself this; are there things you can give up? For example, bad habits or a certain type of food or drinks.

Can you give in? Allow someone else to win an argument. Most times these are so small that in two days time you may not even remember what it is. The next time someone argues with you, say “you are right.” And watch what happens.

Are there things you can give away? Learn not to be so attach to your material things. Money is one of the things most people are very attached. Learn to be more charitable than you already are now. See how much you will learn to appreciate the feeling of detachment.

No doubt, some of you will be holding work that is truly crappy. But that does not mean it has to have a major effect on other parts of your life. Your work life will improve as you clean up your life, learn to focus on being more positive and begin to be more productive.

Today I want to write about a successful product launch ‘How to Become an Advanced Early Riser‘ which was launched last month on October 14th.

Some numbers first

To date there have been 143 copies of ‘How to Become an Advanced Early Riser’ sold.

The gross sales of this have been $2,625 to date

Partner payments have been $460 to date

Money spent on design, website, and advertising – $450

7 Returns – $105

Net profit to date – $1,610

That’s a net profit of $1,610 in 21 days.  This is my best month to date with regards to selling my own products.  Quite a difference from the loss I made in the Alter Your Jacket program.

I learned a lot about writing, collaborating and launching a product and wanted to share it with you today.

5 Lessons Learned from a Successful product Launch

1. It’s all about the readers

Before I even launched this I sent an email to the subscribers of CYT asking them what product they would be interested in the most, and gave them a choice of 8 guide titles and an option to add their own title.  By far ‘How to Become an Advanced Early Riser’ came out on top, with 25% of subscribers voting for it.

Had it not been for the CYT subscribers I wouldn’t have written the guide.  The lesson i learned from the last launch was; what I think is a great idea is not necessarily what the market or my subscribers will think is a great idea.  Sometimes we can get wrapped up in our own ideas that it’s sometimes easy to forget who may or may not buy the product in the first place.

2. Be part of a great team

Had it not been for my designer, my subscribers, my partners and other bloggers and authors who were willing to help me, there is no way this would have been a success.

Talking with everyone involved in the process of making the guide and promoting the guide was essential in it becoming a relative success.  Answering questions, getting ideas, getting feedback, partners pointing out errors in the sales page etc was crucial for this to work.  Everybody involved was a great help throughout the whole process, and they didn’t do it because of any monetary gain, they did it to help out a friend who they thought had a good idea and the guide might benefit the readers of their own blogs.

3. Keep focused

The self talk in writing a guide like this can be overwhelming sometimes; ‘Is it going to work’, ‘the last product failed’, ‘do readers really buy products like this’ ‘is it over-priced’, ‘is it underpriced’.  The main thing to do is to listen to the negative self talk and let the thoughts just drift through your mind, acknowledge and let go.

Keeping focused on the outcome of what the product can do for someone is crucial.  I had an avatar in my head of my ideal buyer.  Someone who was always sleeping in, disorganized, thoughts all over the place, stressed etc and I kept of thinking of them as I was writing the guide and getting it out there.

It’s hard to keep focused when you’re outside your comfort zone, but forcing yourself has the benefit of helping yourself become stronger minded, more focused, and more confident.

4. Take constructive criticism the way it is meant

After the guide was released and sales were strong, you start to get a few returns for whatever reason.  Some readers said, there were too many spelling errors, some thought it just wasn’t for them.  With the returns I learned why they had returned it and rectified anything I could fix.

I always replied to an email asking for a refund as soon as possible, refunded the money immediately and asked if there was anything I could have done differently, if they hadn’t already told me.  Customer service is important, but more important is to not get attached to the product and believe it doesn’t have flaws.  My perception of the guide is different from a readers perception who has paid good money, so listen to feedback, fix it and then let it go.

5. Detach yourself from your product

It’s easy to get attached to a product you have produced, it’s almost like a piece of art ; you spend weeks creating it, and want everyone to admire it.  As soon as you send it out into the world, let it go and move on to your next piece of work.  Don’t forget about it, don’t stop promoting it, just detach yourself and think ahead to your next product.  This is a business, and it’s not long before you and your product is forgotten.  Keep re-inventing yourself.

After you launch it’s great to take a break for a few days and come back with eyes anew.  that way you can make your product better, whilst working on a new product.  there’s always something you can do to make it better.

What’s next?

Well it’s something a little different for me as I am currently asking the question:

Would anybody be interested in a guide which shows how I accidentally discovered a way to lose at least 8 pounds in a week, without changing your diet, or exercising?

I am asking you as a reader, subscriber, and a friend.  Until I get some feedback, I will hang fire and look to see if there is a market for this.

It wasn’t on my list of products to write, but about six weeks ago I really did accidentally discover a way to lose at least eight pounds in weight, to date I have lost 12 pounds in as many days, and it’s so amazingly simple.

Thank you

As ever I want to thank all the readers, subscribers of CYT, friends, partners, interviewees for supporting me along the journey and I am glad that you are part of my life.

We never want to get rid of negative emotions because they are a useful learning tool, and it is only natural that negativity is experienced throughout our lives. However, if we can cultivate and grow our positive emotions them we can shade the negative emotions when they arise.

I’d like to discuss seven emotions to cultivate in  life to put negative emotions in the shade. If you are feeling one emotion you can’t feel another particular emotion at the same time.  Hence, if you are feeling a positive emotion you can’t feel a negative emotion at the same time. So the more positive emotions you have the less negative emotions you have.

Seven emotions to cultivate

1 – Gratitude

Gratitude is an extremely powerful emotion to cultivate in your life. First thing in the morning I get up and I always acknowledge that I feel grateful for the people in my life; my wife, my two boys, my mum and dad, my sisters, my father in law, my mother in law and all the family round about me.

This acknowledgment only takes a couple of seconds and I say thanks, not to anyone really other than them, although I acknowledge that we each have different beliefs and I respect that, but for me I thank the people. I’m also thankful for the inanimate objects in my life; car, computer etc.  I know they aren’t people or living entities but they do help to enrich my life.

I acknowledge every day that I’m blessed, not only to myself but to those around me, and for what I have and I’m really grateful of everything. Now I’m a silent gratitude person, I say it inwardly, my wife on the other hand is more external. She appreciates everyone outwardly, when she is feeling a particular emotion, she actually verbalises it to whoever it may be, she also expresses it by non-verbal communication. I show it by my actions as well as by acknowledging it internally. Some people keep a gratitude journal, one of my blogging friends Zeenat Syal keeps a gratitude journal and has blogged about this.

2. Passion

The second emotion to cultivate is  passion. Without passion there is no way I would have been able to write 450 articles on this blog. But, ultimately I really believed that I could help people to change their lives if they want to . It might not be in this fashion, it might be in book form or on my blog which has been established for years, but what I knew was that if I had the passion, drive and knowledge then I would succeed.

The cultivation of passion keeps us interested and encourages us to experience the emotions that life has to bring. Writing for the blog puts me on a natural high and low, it’s really taken me through on an emotional journey. But, the passion and drive has never left me, and this has what has encouraged me to keep writing.

So cultivate passion in your life, find something that you are interested in, that you believe in or love. It could be your children, husband, friends, yourself, business, your work, really anything that you can invest in.

3 – Confidence

The next emotion we could try and cultivate is one of confidence. If you don’t have confidence in yourself then you really won’t have confidence in the world around you.

The way to start that is to reflect on your past success. Every single person in the world has a past success no matter how small let that small success drive you forward. That small success could be the next step to a bigger success and then another and another etc. So cultivate confidence in your life by looking at past experiences and getting yourself into a state of confidence.

4 – Love

The next emotion to cultivate is one of love. This is a big one for me; I’ve changed my world literally through finding my wife and my kids etc. It’s expressing that emotion of love and I do it every single day.  I’m not saying that just to be ‘cheesy’ , I genuinely feel this way and express it every single day because I adore my wife and my kids, and my life and my family round about me as well. So try and express and cultivate the feeling of love within your life  and that’s looking at who’s in your life, which can extend to work colleagues and friends as well.

5 – Positivity

The next emotion for cultivation is positivity. I know a lot of people say positivity doesn’t really work. It’s unrealistic to expect the feeling of positivity to last throughout the day, especially in this day and age when there are so many pressures on everyone and it’s only natural to feel negative. How else can you truly appreciate the positive emotions in our lives?

Try and look for the good things in people, stop reading newspapers and listening to the news because that instils an emotion of fear and negativity. We’ve spoken about the sensationalising of negativity that sells newspapers.  It’s crucial to balance negative emotions with positive emotions but it’s much easier to find positivity if you are looking for it, negativity needs no assistance to feed your fears.

So look at yourself and cultivate that feeling of positive emotion.

6 – Energy

The next emotion is one of energy, maybe when you have felt energised in the past you probably all felt elation, excitement, pleasure etc. Try and cultivate that  by looking at what excites you and elicits energy. Obviously if your body has really slowed down it’s an indication that you need to change something about your lifestyle to give you more energy in your life. So try and look at that and the feeling of cultivating the emotion energy in your life as well.

7 – Giving

The last emotion is the gift of giving. What I mean is doing good for people without expecting anything in return at all just do something nice for someone just for the sake of it, don’t expect anything in return that includes even a thank you.

Just do it and don’t tell anyone about it either. So if you’ve given money to charity don’t tell anyone about it just do it and guaranteed you’ll feel good about yourself and the world around you.  And even if you don’t get anything in return you will get noticed, but that is not the aim, it’s about noticing yourself and feeling good about yourself that you have given something back to the world. Hopefully this is what I am doing here, I’m giving something back to the world.

I notice a lot of marketers doing this, they are adopting the emotion of giving, or the feeling of giving, with the clients. So they are saying ‘how can I help you?’ instead of saying to clients ‘you need to give me so much money so you can help me make money’. The world is turning just now and everybody is turning outward and the new phrases in the outward world are ‘how can I help you?’ What is it that I can do for you? Without expecting anything in return.