I was speaking with Sharon, my wife, and a few friends,a few weeks ago, and we got around to talking about favourite colours, favourite flowers, favourite foods etc.  When one of my friends asked Sharon what was her favourite flower, Sharon replied ‘Well this week my favourite flower is the Orchid.’  When my friend questioned her use of the phrase ‘this week.’  Sharon replied that it changes all the time.  It is the same with her favourite colour, her favourite food and other favourites.  I think this is a great fluid way of thinking and it got me thinking about the phrases we use that keep us static in life.

If I ask you the question: Who are you? What would you say?

You will probably answer: I am (insert your name here)

Then if I ask you who is (your name)

You might answer with the roles you have in life, I am a construction worker, I am an admin assistant, I am a chef etc

Then you might go on to say I am a wife, a mother, a father, a son, a brother, a sister etc

You might then go on to speak about the you that identifies with your particular beliefs in life: I am a Catholic, I am a Muslim, I am a Christian, I am Buddhist etc

If I then ask you what attributes make up (your name)

You might go on to say I am kind, I am loving, I am a good listener, I am a good friend, I am a bad enemy, I am shy, and go on to list all your personable attributes relating to your personality, which is great.  We usually define the attributes of our personality in a positive light.

When I go on to the aspects that you don’t like about yourself you might say things like: I am no good at organising, I am lousy with technology,  I can’t cook, I can’t cope with change, I am no good at maths, I can’t write very well

What do you notice about all of the things above?

All the statements are static!

Identification

A fascinating part of our psychological makeup is that we identify with our roles in life, with our beliefs and with our values, and we can’t really tell the difference between our roles and ourselves.  It’s called ‘identification’

That’s all great, that we identify with these roles, beliefs and values in life, however they become static, and when something becomes static it is difficult to move.

Think of this statement below

I am an alcoholic

There are millions of people around the world who utter this statement every day, but when you look at the statement, it has nowhere to go, the person uttering this is stating a fact ‘I am an alcoholic’ – it’s like saying ‘I am human.’ That fact will never, ever change and that’s how your brain interprets statements that begin with ‘I am.’ – a fact that will not change.

So when the person saying ‘I am an alcoholic.’ They are really telling themselves that they will never not be an alcoholic.  This, I believe is a flaw in the AA, which is an amazing organisation.  The AA believes that once an alcoholic always an alcoholic, but that very label of being an alcoholic can hinder the recovery process of someone who currently drinks too much to cope with their issues in life, or who likes alcohol too much at that particular point in their life.

Just like any other ‘I Am’ statement, you are leaving yourself nowhere to go and change becomes almost impossible.  All the statements we utter that begin with ‘I am’ ‘I Can’t’ are all walls we build around ourselves, and the more we say these statements the thicker the walls become and the harder it is to tear them down

Tearing the walls down

To tear down the walls we have built around us it’s important to understand the concept of ‘Identification’ which you can check out at Wikipedia to give you a start.  Once you understand the concept you can then begin to break them down and realise the statements we tell ourselves day in day out stick, and are acted upon in our unconscious minds.

When you say a statement beginning with ‘I am’ or ‘I can’t’ your brain interprets this information as fact, and there is nothing that can be done about it, and it does not try to look for new, fluid, solutions

The kind of things we tell ourselves and those around us should be fluid.  We are evolving beings, forever changing, forever in motion and using static statements can keep us stuck in life.

Fluidity

If someone asks you a question which you would normally answer with ‘I Am’ or ‘I can’t’  you can replace this with:

I currently work as (your occupation)

I currently follow the beliefs of Catholicism but am looking at different belief systems

I have not really tried to learn the art of cooking but am willing to learn

Just now I have not taken the time to be good with computers but am open to the idea of learning more

Obviously there are some things that are facts such as I am a father, I am a son, I am a wife etc, but on the whole the statements we make about ourselves are static and should be fluid..

Have a think about this and let me know what you think.

Over the last 5 years of writing this blog there have been exactly 18,925 comments on 695 posts, an average of 27 comments per post. Whilst this is great and we get to see some readers who comment regularly, it occurred to me that I don’t really know the people who comment, except for a few of you.

So I wanted to get to know you better as a reader, a commenter, a friend, and as a product buyer.

In this post I would love it if you could leave a comment below telling me all about yourself. You can promote your products (as long as you’re not a spammer ), promote your blog, or just tell us more about you and what your hopes and aspirations are.

Why am I doing this?

You have been part of the CYT community either for a few days or a few years and I would love it if everybody who stops by here on a regular basis could just promote themselves for a change.  I have been talking through my posts, interacting through comments, and talking via email, but I’ve not had a real chance to listen to you talk about you.

• Introduce Yourself below (even if you are a regular here)
• Tell us about you, your work, your blog or product
• Tell us a little about your hopes and aspirations for yourself
• Promote the hell out of you

How to Become Certain That You Will Reach Your Goals

Jonathan Talks about his story of quitting his corporate job to do something that he truly loves, which is helping others realise their potential.

However, when he realised there were hundreds of other people who were tired of their jobs and wanted to go it alone, and become an entrepreneur, he was suddenly in hot demand.  Ignoring the signs, at first, Jonathan eventually succumbed and started teaching others how they could go about making a living doing what they loved.

Check out the interview below

You can find out more information about Jonathan’s

TRAILBLAZER Movie here

and watch the great video we were talking about during the interview.

If you have any questions for Jonathan I am sure he would be happy to answer them here.  Just leave a comment below and tell us what you think of the interview.

I’m just getting ready to go out for our family meal and then off to the movies to see Sherlock Holmes. This is a Christmas Eve tradition our family have and I absolutely love it.

I just wanted to write to wish you all a fantastic Christmas, wherever you are in the world.

I also wanted to ask you one question:

What is the one big goal you hope to achieve in 2012?

Click On The Image Below to Visit the CYT Award Sponsors

Okay it’s finally time to reveal the Top 50 Personal Development Blogs of 2011.

This has been a mammoth task for me and has literally taken me over 30 solid hours to complete this one post, you’ll see why as you go through the list.

With over 200 nominations and nearly 700 comments on the original Nominations Post I’ve finally managed to whittle it down to 50 great personal development blogs.

Criteria

I have tried to be as objective as possible when picking the top 50 Blogs, and the following criteria helped me with this:

1. The blog has to have a post at least every 10 days

2. The blog has to be more than two months old

3. The blogger has to show good interaction with their readers via commenting

4. The blog has to have at least 2 comments on each of the 5 latest posts

The above criteria helped me whittle the original 207 blogs to around 120. After that it was purely down to my subjective view of the design, the content, and looking for something unique about the blogger or the blog itself.

The winners

Everyone in the top 50 has a badge they can display on their blog.  You can find these on the last page of this post.

Category winners have their own badge they can display on the blog, again you can find these on the last page of this post.

The overall winner has their own badges they can display, which can be found on the last page of this post.

Okay enough of me going on.  Click on Page 2 below to go to the winners list

Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Please Click on the image to visit our sponsor for the CYT awards

NOMINATIONS AND VOTING NOW CLOSED
RESULTS WILL BE POSTED ON MONDAY 19TH DECEMBER 2011   

I can’t believe 2011 is nearly over, it’s true, the older you get the quicker time seems to pass

I would love your help in nominating your favourite Personal Development blog of 2011.  This will be a CYT annual event.  The aim of this event is to highlight some great Personal Development blogs that readers may not know about and also a chance for you to say thank you for some great writers out there.

Nominations for Best Personal Development Blog of 2011

In this post anyone can nominate their favourite personal development blogs by leaving a comment below.  I will then collate all the nominations and put them in this post.

The top 50 blogs will then be chosen from the final nominations list

The Top 50 Personal Development Blogs of 2011 will then be announced in two weeks time with the following categories:

Best Overall Personal Development Blog of 2011

Best Productivity Blog of 2011

Best Personal Development Newcomer Blog of 2011

Best Simple Living Blog of 2011

Best Finance Blog of 2011

Best Personal Development Product of 2011

To make it easier for you just copy and paste the above categories into the comments field and choose your nominations, or just leave a comment with the blogs of your choice, and I will categorise them.

This is going to take a lot of work as there will be hundreds of nominations for this award and I will be busy promoting this so as many people as possible can vote for their favourite.  There will also be a press release and hundreds of emails to individual bloggers to notify them of their nomination short list.

If you do get nominated you can use these badges on your site, and use the html code to put into your sidebar or post.

<a href=”http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/nominations-for-top-50-personal-development-blogs-of-2011/”><img src=”http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/I-have-been-nominated2.jpg”></a>
<a href=”http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/nominations-for-top-50-personal-development-blogs-of-2011/”><img src=”http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/I-have-been-nominated.jpg”></a>

What the winners receive

Besides the kudos, and the traffic, each top 50 blogger will be able to display this badge on their site:

The overall winner will receive a winners badge, which is being designed as I write.

The category winners will be able to display a category winners badge, which is being designed.

Some nominations so far

Here is a list of the nominations so far.  This will be updated on a daily basis

When the winners list is announced, each of the top 50 bloggers will have a bio, with a picture of the blog owner and link to their site. So it will not just be a list like this.  This list is to gather all the nominations.

Nominations for Best Productivity Blog of 2011

1. http://zenhabits.net/

2. http://www.dumblittleman.com/

3. http://www.gtdtimes.com/

4. http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/

5. http://litemind.com/

6. http://www.marcandangel.com/

7. http://www.productiveflourishing.com/blog/

8. http://www.lifehack.org/

9. http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/

10. http://www.43folders.com/

Nominations for Best Personal Development Newcomer Blog of 2011

1. http://www.mazzastick.com/
2. http://lifeislimitless.com/

Nominations for Best Simple Living Blog of 2011

1. http://rowdykittens.com/

2. http://zenhabits.net

3. http://www.mysimplerlife.com/blog/

4. http://www.missminimalist.com/

5. http://guynameddave.com/

6. http://www.modern-simplicity.com/

7. http://www.theminimalistmom.com/

8. http://artofminimalism.com/

9. http://jill-foleyjourney.blogspot.com/

10. http://www.ridiculouslyextraordinary.com/

Nominations for Best Finance Blog of 2011

1. Get Rich Slowly

2. The Income Team Blog

3. We make money not art

4. Stockpiling Moms

5. Online Success

6. Business Success Tips 2.0

7. Niche Marketing – Andy Beard

Nominations for Best Personal Development Product of 2011

Nominate a personal development product that you have liked this year.

Please cast your vote using the comment box below, copy and paste this into your comment:

Best Overall Personal Development Blog of 2011

Best Productivity Blog of 2011

Best Work/Life Balance Blog of 2011

Best Simplify Your Life Blog of 2011

Best Finance Blog of 2011

Best Personal Development Product of 2011

Underneath each category just add your nomination, or just leave a comment with your nominations and we’ll collate all the information and keep the list updated on a daily basis.

Please tweet, facebook, Google +, LinkedIn this so we can get this out to as many readers as possible and make it a readers vote.

Please Click on the image to visit our sponsor for the CYT awards

Today I want to share some of the truths I have learned over the years that have stopped me moving forward in life.

Do any of these ring true for you?

1. Perfection – Perfection does not exist.  If you accept that everything can be improved upon then perfection cannot exist.  Give up the concept of being perfect and get on with your life as best you can.
2. Waiting for the right time – The right time is now, why put it off.  If you’ve been waiting for the right time for something and haven’t taken action yet, it’s going to be difficult to start.
3. Being stuck in the past – If you focus on the past, you stay in the past.  Moving forward is about acknowledging the past, but gently let the invisible cord of the past go, and move toward a better future.
4. Lying to yourself – Honesty with yourself and others will do wonders for moving you forward in life.  Start with yourself and be as honest as possible about who you are, what you’re doing and where you’re going.  If you’ve been a bit of an arse, admit it, and resolve to change.
5. Staying on the ‘Poor me’ train – The ‘Poor Me’ train never reaches it’s destination, because there is no destination, it’s just a train full of whiners and moaners.  Jump off at the next station and resolve never to go back on the ‘Poor me’ train again.
6. Befriending the vampires – Vampires suck the life force out of you.  It’s those people who bitch, moan, complain and generally suck the energy out of you.  Drop them as quickly as possible, if you can’t drop them avoid them as much as possible.
7. Keeping a tight comfort zone – If you’ve got a tight comfort zone then you’re not pushing yourself hard enough.  Push the boundaries of your comfort zone little, and as often as you can.  If you only do things you feel comfortable doing you will stop growing, mentally, emotionally and intellectually.
8. Saying ‘I can’t do that’ – As soon as you utter this phrase your brain will take it as fact that you cannot do it, and give up trying to look for a solution.  If you replace ‘I can’t’ with ‘I’m getting better….’, your brain will re-engage with you to look for ways to help you become better at something.
9. Comparing yourself to others – when you compare yourself to others you will ultimately fail.  If you work on exceeding your own expectations you will fair much better in life.
10. Moaning – we seem to live in a world of moaners, and it’s easy to get caught up in it.  Make it a point to only moan if you’re going to take action on what you’re moaning about, which should help cut down 99% of your moaning.
11. Multi tasking – Multi tasking is not possible, period! Or rather you can multi task, but because you can’t multitask and give 100% to each activity it’s impossible to do something well without giving it your full attention.
12. Asking ‘Why’ questions – A lot of the questions we ask ourselves are: Why does this happen to me, why can’t I do that, why is he better than me.  Most why questions cause you to focus on the past and gives your brain a reason to look for reasons why you can’t do something.  Instead you could ask ‘How’ questions, which are outcome oriented: How can I become better at that, how can I become the best I can be.
13. Trying to be in the circle – People in the circle want to be the same and conform into a group.  You’ve got around 70 years on this earth, spend it finding yourself and break free from the crowd, or at least find yourself and decide if you want to break free from the crowd or not.
14. Not spending enough time with yourself – When was the last time you spent time alone and really loved it? Being happy with your own company is a good indicator of getting the right balance in life, as long as you’re not alone all day every day
15. Trying for the quick fix – Get rich quick, Lose weight fast, build up muscle quickly.  Going for the quick fix in anything, usually doesn’t work in the long run.  Anything worth doing, is worth taking the time to enjoy the journey of achieving.
16. Being a control freak – Another thing that is impossible to do is to control life.  Life has a tendency to twist and turn when least expected.  Planning ahead is good, but trying to control what’s in front of you can only lead to frustration.
17. Thinking you never have any luck – Samuel Goldwyn said ‘The harder I work, the luckier I get.’ Luck comes to those who put themselves in the path of it, to do that you must get out there and be the best you can be.
18. Watching the news – watching the news only perpetuates, in your mind, that the world is a bad place.  The world is an amazing place with some bad people in it.  If you watch the news you’d think every second person is a murderer, rapist or paedophile.
19. Wishing well thinking – It’s great to wish for things in your life, and sometimes it can be a nice daydream to dream of winning the lottery, but if you are banking on your wishes coming true, you’re not going to go far.  Better to have wishes and work toward them than sitting around wishing.
20. Thinking the world owes you – Nobody, nothing or anything owes you a favour in life.  We all have to take action toward the things we would like in life, it’s not coming to knock on your door.
21. Watching TV – TV is another energy drainer unless used for educational purposes.  Watching soaps and reality TV actually gets you emotionally involved in someone else’s life, even though, in the case of soaps, they are fictitious.  You’re essentially giving away your energy to a box in the corner of the living room.
22. Blaming others – There’s are always others who hurt us, physically, mentally and emotionally, but blaming them for not moving on with life will stunt your growth, emotionally and mentally.  Accept that some people in your life have hurt you, and let them go mentally.
23. Not deciding what to do in life – A lot of people are unhappy in their jobs, not because they can’t get the job they want, but because they don’t know what job they want.  Decide what you truly, madly, passionately, want to do with your life and start taking small steps to get there.
24. Not finding a reason to smile – We all have reasons to be grateful in our life, even if it’s just for the fact that you have access to a computer to read this post.  Counting your blessings daily is a great exercise to improve the quality of your life.
25. Chasing others – If someone truly wants to be a part of your life they will make the effort to do so.  You don’t need to chase someone to be in your life, and waste energy trying to do so.
26. Giving up too quickly – If you fail at something, learn from it and try again, if you fail again, learn some more and try again, if you fail again, learn some more……………
27. Not taking risks – Life is inherently risky and you’ve made it this far.  Risk more in your life, as the rewards will far outweigh the thought of never having risked at all.
28. Not forgiving yourself -  There’s not a single person on this planet that has not made mistakes in their life.  Forgive yourself for your mistakes and free up your emotional energy for the things that matter.
29. Not enjoying the little things in life – Stop for a while to enjoy the little things in life, 30 years from now those little things will mean everything.

I hope you enjoyed this article.  If you have anything to add, just add a comment below and share your thoughts.

She advised that I should make a short video letting readers know some facts about me.  This was a few months ago, and I resisted making the video thinking it was a bit like ‘hey look at me’.

The more I have got into email marketing, I have revealed a lot more of myself to my subscribers: sharing stories from my life, letting them know the things I get up to and they have gotten to know me a lot better through my emails.  It’s great, I have never had such a good relationship with my email subscribers. But, not everyone opens the emails, so not everyone knows a lot about me.

So, here it is, a video of some of the things you might not know about me.

Hope you like it.  As ever please leave a comment below.

Yesterday I decided to send a free ebook to my list of subscribers about how to become more confident.  That’s great, however the ebook had not been proofread, so it looked like a piece of crap, and my readers were quick to point this out within the space of a few minutes.

So I decided to record a quick 5 minute audio about a powerful technique on becoming more confident, with the hope of producing a quick report for it next week.

You can listen to the audio here:

Download audio file (state-of-confidence.mp3)

Well, I couldn’t wait to produce the report until next week and I decided to write it today and give it to you today:

You can download it here:

You can give this report away to your list or friends or whoever you think might find it useful.

As ever, I value your feedback and your comments, so please let me know what you think.

Also if there are any other reports you would like me to write please let me know by leaving a message below.