Looking For Peace in Troubled Times?

by Christopher Foster on June 29, 2010 · 60 comments

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Author: Christopher Foster (1 Articles)

Christopher is a former reporter turned Author and Blogger and has a mission to teach the world to live with happiness. Christopher writes for TheHappySeeker.com

Looking for peace and sanity in difficult times?

The answer may be simpler – and closer – than you think.

Be Kind!

Some think it’s a sign of weakness. But having a kindly attitude toward others and toward life isn’t weak. It’s a sign of strength, because only the strong can be gentle.

When I think of kindness, I think of Nelson Mandela, as he was portrayed by Morgan Freeman in the movie “Invictus.”

Kindness — a kindly attitude and spirit — was not something that got turned off or turned on in him according to circumstances.

Far from it.  It was part of his character.  It was part of his strength. Whether he was in jail, suffering injustice at the hands of his oppressors — or whether the situation reversed, and he was in a position of power over the former apartheid rulers — his resolute, but kind-hearted spirit never wavered.

It’s the reason his jailer was drawn to him and they became enduring friends.

It’s why he was able to come through his dreadful ordeal in prison, forgive his oppressors and unite his country behind him.

A small kindness can last a lifetime

It’s remarkable how a small kindness can last a lifetime.  I can still remember the surprise and delight that welled up in me during World War II when for some unknown reason my father, who was overseas in the Army, sent me a subscription to a British yachting magazine.

Perhaps my mom had written him about my love of the sea and boats.  In any case, when the first issue arrived — as I say, totally unexpectedly — it immediately became one of my most treasured possessions. I pored over each issue like a mother cherishing her new baby. Every night when my aunt lit the Aladdin lamp and brought in a bowl of apples for our snack (no electricity of course in our remote north Devon cottage) there I was studying my yachting magazine.

A visit from an angel

I experienced a similar moment last evening when the doorbell suddenly rang around 6 or 6.30.  A heavy snow was falling not only over Loveland but over the whole of Colorado and beyond.  Who could that possibly be? my wife and I wondered.

I wasn’t sure whether to get up and open the door or not, but an inner voice said go ahead.  Shivering in the cold but with a big smile on her face was a 12-year-old Angel from across the street named Kirsten.

She had one of her Mom’s warm, freshly baked loaves of bread to give us along with a small cup of butter.  “Kirsten, you shouldn’t be out on a night like this,” I said as I took the gift from her — but her smile simply got bigger.  We chatted for a brief moment, her hands clutching her coat close to try to stay warm, then she turned and ran back home with footsteps as light as snowflakes.

Not only was the bread a blessing.  The beautiful spirit that made the bread and brought it to us was a blessing too.

Kindness can’t be forced

True kindness has a natural, spontaneous quality to it.  It’s not something that can be forced, or faked.

I came across a great quote about this at www.akinderworld.com. “One cannot invent kind acts by searching for people to be kind to or by brainstorming ideas about kindness.  Life is all around us and all life needs kindness…. most of the time, it just takes a tiny word, a scribbled line of thought, an act of sympathy, a smile or a nod in the right time and place to bring sunshine to the life of another person.”

Ultimately, when we speak of kindness, we are speaking of Love, aren’t we, the great mysterious force that does indeed make our tiny speck of a planet go around — along with all the other planets and galaxies and universes in existence.

When you open your heart to kindness, you open your heart to your own integrity, to your own divine nature.  Stay with it, and you will find with absolute assurance and certainty that any feelings of emptiness or discouragement will surely dissipate just like the snow that fell so heavily in our area last night is dissipating even now in the sun’s presence.

Be alert to the kindness of others

There are two aspects to kindness.  There is what we ourselves express into life that is compassionate and kind, helpful and creative — a blessing to our fellow humans, or to nature.  But equally important is being alert and open to the kindness which comes to you from others — thankful for what they add to your life.

The truth is, life sets a feast before us constantly.  The waitress who smiles and asks how you are doing as she passes you your meal or your cup of coffee.  The inquisitive dog straining at its leash, insisting on saying hello to you as you walk past in the park.

The more we open ourselves to see and appreciate the kindness of others — and the more we express a kindly spirit in our own lives — the more we know the love that is at the core of all being.

Mark Twain put it so well: “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

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{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Steven Aitchison June 29, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Hi Christopher. Just wanted to welcome you to CYT as a guest author. It’s been great connecting with you over the last few months and I know if you stick at this you can do big things with your goals.

Your writing has a unique voice; wise, raw and straight from the heart and this post is no different. The heart of man is in the kind acts he feels compelled to do and this post illustrates that perfectly.

Thank you Christopher.
Steven Aitchison´s last blog ..Looking For Peace in Troubled Times My ComLuv Profile

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2 Christopher Foster June 30, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Steven,
Thank you for your kind and generous words. It’s been a great pleasure to connect with you too this past while. Your support and encouragement means a lot to me — as I’m sure it does to many others.
I read a book some years back on the theme of mutual cooperation by a man called Arnold Patent. This is the way the world is supposed to work, isn’t it? We’re all in this together.
Just want you to know that when you say I can do big things with my goals if I stick with it the words nurture a dream that has been with me for a long time…
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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3 Hulbert Lee June 29, 2010 at 5:38 pm

Hi Christopher, thanks for this touching post. I enjoyed reading your examples through Nelson Mandela, through your father sending you a yachting magazine, and through the bread sent by the little girl. I agree that kindness is like a different language. We need to be open and alert for it so when we received it, we can appreciate it and give it back to others. This post is a great start for my morning. Thank you!
Hulbert Lee´s last blog ..Interview with Annabel Candy My ComLuv Profile

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4 Christopher Foster June 29, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Thanks for your kind words Hulbert. I really enjoyed your reference to kindness as being “like a different language”, because it is, isn’t it? Anytime you hear that language being spoken by someone — even if you don’t even know them – it warms your heart. I also appreciate your emphasis on being alert so we can reciprocate this language. I look forward to checking out your last blog.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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5 Eduard @ People Skills Decoded June 29, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Hey Christopher,

I think kindness can be very fulfilling. We all want to make a contribution in this world, to leave it better than we entered it. It’s one of those goals we all share, even if the nuances are unique for each one of us. Thanks for the reminder :)

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6 Christopher Foster June 29, 2010 at 7:50 pm

A real pleasure to share your spirit Eduard. When you reference kindness being “one of those goals we all share” it gets me excited because it reminds me we are not alone in this world even if we sometimes imagine we are. Personally, I think that when we choose to be kind-hearted we can’t help be aware that we are part of a larger whole.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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7 rob white June 29, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Hi Christopher,
You bring up a great point when you say, “kindness cannot be forced.” Most people are so indoctrinated by the world-voice that preaches the opposite of kindness, “watch out for your self, everyone is trying to take advantage of you.” etc. This is an unnatural state of being that requires shedding. So in fact reaching our natural, joyous and kind self is getting back to our original nature — not adding a NEW quality. We can consciously pre-plan expressing kindness in many small ways. It is important to do this so we absorb these qualities into our personality. We can shed our Artificial-Self so our Authentic, kind nature becomes our natural state of being again. Great discussion.

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8 Christopher Foster June 30, 2010 at 12:21 am

I love what you say Rob. You kind of rip a hole in the idea that we are born “miserable sinners” and there isn’t too much we can do about it. You suggest that in truth we are natural, joyous and kind by nature — and all we need do is shed anything that may have covered that . My mentor once said we are like a beautiful painting that has been covered over by cheap imitations. Remove the imitations and… there we are… just as you say, our authentic, kind nature shines out. Thanks buddy.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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9 Dia June 29, 2010 at 9:17 pm

Thanks Christopher for this post. Nothing can beat kindness. A simple act of kindness make a huge difference in people’s life. Thanks for sharing
Dia´s last blog ..How to control your emotions and overcome negative thoughts My ComLuv Profile

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10 Christopher Foster June 30, 2010 at 12:27 am

Thanks Dia. Happy to meet you across this great ocean we call internet and hope we’ll cross paths again.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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11 parker lee | howtomingle June 30, 2010 at 3:29 am

Hey Christopher,

“She had one of her Mom’s warm, freshly baked loaves of bread to give us along with a small cup of butter. “Kirsten, you shouldn’t be out on a night like this,” I said as I took the gift from her — but her smile simply got bigger. We chatted for a brief moment, her hands clutching her coat close to try to stay warm, then she turned and ran back home with footsteps as light as snowflakes.”–

Wow that’s very moving. I appreciate you sharing this, Chris. There’s something about being genuine and authentic that can make anyone become a “mover and a shaker.”

Thank you,
–Parker
parker lee | howtomingle´s last blog ..If You Are Short- Fat- Older or An Asian Man- You Must Read This But Especially If You’re Short My ComLuv Profile

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12 Christopher Foster June 30, 2010 at 8:01 pm

Very pleased to meet you Parker. We’re on the same page. For too long it seems to me we have thought that to be a mover and a shaker — someone really important, someone who MATTERS — requires acccomplishing something impressive and important in an outer sense.
Nothing wrong with that. I applaud it. But it’s a race you can never win because it never really ends…
Personally, I think it’s enough just to be present — as you say — a genuine and authentic person, content to express one’s best in the moment …
Makes life so much easier, so much more satisfying in the end.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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13 C.Bhimsena Rao June 30, 2010 at 4:16 am

By reading these articles, you get moral support and one can change
one mind set and also get postive attitude.

Indeed Thank you

With Regards
C.Bhimsena Rao

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14 Christopher Foster June 30, 2010 at 8:17 pm

I’m so happy Bhimsena that you find moral support on these pages, and help in developing a positive attitude and beliefs.
It’s funny. The world has so much to offer in many ways. But sometimes there’s a fire in us — a longing –that won’t be satisfied by anything but the truth crying out from our own soul…
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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15 Claire - Gratitude Connection June 30, 2010 at 10:53 am

What a beautiful post, and thanks for sharing these heartwarming stories. I love the way you write, I hope I’ll see more of your posts.
Claire – Gratitude Connection´s last blog ..Today Im grateful for My ComLuv Profile

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16 Christopher Foster June 30, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Hi Claire. Thank you for your kind words. You know as well as I do that writing can be a bit of a lonely pursuit at times…you put something out there and it’s the best you have to offer but it will mean anything to anyone else? Will it even be read?
Demon discouragement is always lurking at the door…
It’s not that we HAVE to have encouragement. We’d do it anyway. But when a word of encouragement does comes along it is so very, very welcome…
I look forward to checking in with your
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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17 John Sherry June 30, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Christopher, top post Sir. In this manic modern world full of a drive for having, wanting and getting, simple human attributes such as kindness have gone off the radar. Posts like yours hopefully will change that. Kindness brings us together, connects us, and breaks down barriers of all types. We need to be more kind because, after all, we are one race called humanKIND. It’s a clue about what we are really here for!
John Sherry´s last blog ..The 7 Words That Stop You Being A Happy Bunny My ComLuv Profile

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18 Christopher Foster June 30, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Thank you for your response John. Most welcome. You have a gift for expressing something important in a succinct way. I do believe kindness has the potential to bring us together just as you say, and dissolve the barriers that otherwise simply continue on ad nauseam is it? (I did learn Latin a bit at school a long time ago but it’s been long forgotten).
I love your hit on the word humanKIND, had never occurred to me before.
All the best. Look forward to visiting your blog.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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19 Phil - Less Ordinary Living June 30, 2010 at 2:39 pm

Christopher -

What a beautifully written post on kindness. I love the story about your father and the yachting magazine – that put a lump in my throat. Kindness and compassion are such simple ideas yet fly in the face of much of the materialism in the modern world. It is about treating others as we’d like to be treated. Keep spreading the word – thank you!

Phil
Phil – Less Ordinary Living´s last blog ..25 Surefire Ways to Get More from Work My ComLuv Profile

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20 Christopher Foster July 1, 2010 at 12:42 am

Thank you Phil. My Dad was quite a man. He was a reporter all his life in Fleet St, which used to be the center of the big English dailies. Dad was one of two so-called “silent reporters” who in the 1960′s were sent to gaol for a few months for refusing to break their journalistic ethics and reveal their sources to a government spy tribunal.
Actually Dad did quite well in prison, made friends with the warden, etc etc. He lived till 95, looking after himself in a small ground floor flat just across from his favorite pub…
Again — thanks for your encouragement Phil and all the very best to you in your own endeavors.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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21 Abubakar Jamil June 30, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Excellent article Christopher.

It reminds me of a quote from Wayne Dyer, “If you have the choice to be right or to be kind, always choose kind.”

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22 Christopher Foster July 1, 2010 at 1:26 am

What a lovely quote Abubakar. Thanks for sharing it. And thanks (while I have the chance) for a comment you left at my blog a couple of months or so back, much appreciated. My love to you on your journey in this life.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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23 Miranda Cruz June 30, 2010 at 3:19 pm

Thank you Christopher for this wonderful article. A lot of people say that I have this tough and mean looking facade. Haughty and selfish. They don’t see me as being kind. Somebody who doesn’t like me that much got into a freaky accident. He needed blood. His blood type was rare. I was the same blood type as his. I gave him blood. I don’t have to if I want to. But I wanted to do it. Because it’s the right thing to do. Since then, he became a very good friend of mine.

So thank you for this article.

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24 Christopher Foster July 1, 2010 at 1:38 am

There’s an old saying, Miranda, I’m sure you know it, “Actions speak louder than words.” Your actions in this incident say volumes — for your own true character. A strong character that someone can rely on when the chips are down. It’s a pleasure to share your inspiring story.
Surely doing something for someone else because it’s the right thing to do (as you did in this instance) is what true kindness is all about.
All the very best Miranda.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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25 jonathanfigaro June 30, 2010 at 3:33 pm

What changes the world. One act of kindness a day. Imagine if everyone did something nice to someone else everyday. May I dare say ‘ NO WAR’?

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26 Christopher Foster July 1, 2010 at 1:41 am

Something to think about Jonathan. Thank you so much for sharing this inspiring thought.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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27 Roman Soluk July 1, 2010 at 6:49 am

Thanks a lot, Christopher, for such a nice post! I like it a lot!
Roman Soluk´s last blog ..Exclusive interview with D Devonshire- a former VP at Motorola Inc My ComLuv Profile

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28 Christopher Foster July 1, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Thank you for your words and your support Roman. I’m very pleased to hear from you and wish you all the very best in your life.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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29 Kate July 1, 2010 at 8:01 am

Hi Christopher,
This post was really touching. I think it is the small things we do which can have the biggest impact. A tiny gesture we do naturally, without really considering doing it out of kindness can have a massive impact on someone’s life and vise versa.

Many thanks,
Kate

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30 Colleen July 1, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Agree 100% Kate. A tiny gesture of kindness opens all sorts of doors in life. :)
Colleen´s last blog ..104 South Idaho Street- Kennewick WA 99336 My ComLuv Profile

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31 Christopher Foster July 1, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Thank you Kate. I loved reading your comment. What you say is so true — even though at first glance it might seem paradoxical. But it really is the small things we do that can have the biggest impact — which is good, isn’t it? because it makes life so much simpler….
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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32 Colleen July 1, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Kindness is a big part of our business, even when wronged. Kindness does amazing things when offered as reply to being wronged, cheated, etc. We’ve turned many a sour relationship into a positive one through kindness.
Colleen´s last blog ..104 South Idaho Street- Kennewick WA 99336 My ComLuv Profile

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33 Christopher Foster July 1, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Thank you Colleen. This is such an inspiring comment — the power of kindness, as you say, to turn a sour relationship or sour experience into something sweet. Opens a door to magic …
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..What makes a true home My ComLuv Profile

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34 Kendra July 1, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Simply beautiful. Thank you. If we all could be kind to ourselves and share that with others, think what a loving world this will be. I’ll start right now!

Best,
Kendra

Momentary.org
Count your blessings. Everyday. Everywhere.
mobile gratitude journal (free with promo “joy”)

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35 Christopher Foster July 2, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Great point Kendra. We have to be kind to ourselves before we can be kind to anyone else. I also love what you say about starting right NOW because now really is the only moment we will ever have, isn’t it? It’s a pleasure to be in touch with you Kendra. All the very best.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..The hidden power of kindness My ComLuv Profile

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36 Marion Anderson July 1, 2010 at 10:47 pm

This was a great post. Acts of kindness are the best and most appropriate gifts you can give and receive. They are totally correct in the moment and also thoroughly appreciated. They warm both the heart of the giver and the receiver. However unlike the usual gifts they are never forgotten.
Marion Anderson´s last blog ..Choose the best Environment for you My ComLuv Profile

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37 Christopher Foster July 2, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Thank you Marion. What beautiful words. Acts of kindness warm the heart of the giver and the receiver just as you say. Maybe it’s because they bring life and beauty and warmth into our world that they are not forgotten…
I send greetings and best wishes to you across the miles.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..The hidden power of kindness My ComLuv Profile

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38 Frank July 2, 2010 at 1:42 pm

Who would thing that such a simple act would create such a powerful response. It is amazing how many peoples lives you can affect with your own actions. If you take the time to bring happiness to others you will find your self becoming extremely happy. With an attitude like that who wouldn’t want to have you around. Build a network of happy people and help light the path to someone in darkness.

This post just made my weekend even better. Thanks for the inspiration.
Frank ´s last blog ..Is There An Easy Way Out My ComLuv Profile

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39 Christopher Foster July 2, 2010 at 6:55 pm

So many worthwhile thoughts here Frank. Thanks. I find myself particularly thinking about this one: “It is amazing how many peoples lives you can affect with your own actions.”
My guess is we will never know how much effect even the simplest act of kindness (for example) has on the rest of creation…the rest of being… because who knows where the boundary of our consciousness is?
Does it even have any boundary…?
I’m glad if my post made your weekend better — your comment certainly made MINE better. Must be what they call a win/win.
Christopher Foster ´s last blog ..The hidden power of kindness My ComLuv Profile

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40 jan jarboe russell July 2, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Funny to me that often kindness feels like the arrival of a stranger, just as you described the arrival to your door of the 12-year-old with bread and butter.

Kindess and love. . . bread and butter for the journey.

Thanks for this post.

Jan

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41 Christopher Foster July 2, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Thank you and bless you Jan.
I’m with you. Bread and butter indeed.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..The hidden power of kindness My ComLuv Profile

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42 Easton Ellsworth July 2, 2010 at 2:55 pm

Yes! I’m so excited to see you shining on this stage, Christopher. Having had the honor of designing and helping you start The Happy Seeker some months ago, I just knew that in time your words of wisdom and encouragement would find their way into thousands of hungry minds.

Kudos to Steven for giving you the floor for this post.

And of course, a wonderful post. My favorite quote:

“The more we open ourselves to see and appreciate the kindness of others — and the more we express a kindly spirit in our own lives — the more we know the love that is at the core of all being.”

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43 Christopher Foster July 2, 2010 at 8:06 pm

Such a pleasure to hear from you Easton. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, and special thanks for helping to get me started in this weird and wonderful world of blogging.

I never would have made that start without your help and encouragement. You were so generous with your time and expertise — I have fond memories of meeting with you in the coffee shop at Barnes and Noble to talk about blogging and I have often marvelled how so often the right person shows up to help us at just the right time. All the very best to you and your family Easton.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..The hidden power of kindness My ComLuv Profile

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44 Valentine Belonwu July 3, 2010 at 12:48 pm

This is what i needed in my life. This is my first time visit here and i have already bookmark your page and will be visiting more.
Acts of kindness are the best and most appropriate gifts you can give and receive. This is a blessing to me.

Keep up the good work and God bless your family.
Valentine Belonwu´s last blog ..5 Causes of Poverty My ComLuv Profile

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45 Christopher Foster July 3, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Good to hear from you Valentine. I’m so glad this has been a useful visit for you and hope you will stop by again. Blessings to you.
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..The hidden power of kindness My ComLuv Profile

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46 Ana in Fort Worth July 4, 2010 at 2:37 am

What a great post! Most people including myself usual act in anger when being attacked or mistreated, best thing to do is just be Kind :)

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47 Christopher Foster July 16, 2010 at 12:14 am

Thank you Ana. I’m sorry for the delay in responding. But I really appreciate you taking the time to post your comment. All the very best.

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48 Maggie Mae July 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Right on Steve! A smile, a kind word… like “hi!”, eye-contact. Such an easy thing to do with unimaginable rewards for the giver and the receiver. Thanks for the reminder.
Maggie Mae´s last blog ..Pneumonia- Everything I Never Wanted to Know My ComLuv Profile

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49 Christopher Foster July 16, 2010 at 12:16 am

Yes Maggie. Just a smile can work miracles. Even just a friendly face passing by a stranger… a lot of potential in every moment…

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50 Miranda Cruz July 6, 2010 at 5:05 am

Hey Christopher!

My friend whom I was talking is getting married this coming December. Found a really good woman to spend the rest of his life with.

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51 Christopher Foster July 7, 2010 at 3:18 pm

That’s good news Miranda. Really glad to hear it and wish them all the best.

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52 Tim D July 7, 2010 at 3:40 pm

Great post, Christopher. I’ve found that – the worse I feel about myself – the more important it is to show kindness. It’s a form of the “act how you want to feel” idea.

Tim D
http://www.momentary.org
free mobile gratitude journal
what are you grateful for today?

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53 Christopher Foster July 7, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Thanks Tim. Yeah. It’s kind of counter-intuitive isn’t it? Reminds me of an old saying, “Assume a virtue though you have it not.” I really like the proactive thinking behind your comment. If we’re feeling down no need to wallow in it…change the channel…
Christopher Foster´s last blog ..The hidden power of kindness My ComLuv Profile

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54 Juliana Matthews July 8, 2010 at 7:47 pm

This is a beautiful post.
I have just come off a long haul flight where I watched the movie Invictus – Mandela’s example of inherent kindness had the ripples in a pond effect.
I believe if we all pay it forward, see the good before us and try to do our best for others, the riches we reap are bountiful.
I have been at a convention in San Antonio. 65,000 people and our only agenda is to be kind to each other and offer unconditional love and acceptance. As we gathered in the Alamodome, the atmosphere was like nothing I have ever witnessed. It was life-affirming and life-changing.
Juliana Matthews´s last blog ..Tolerance in Texas My ComLuv Profile

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55 Christopher Foster July 16, 2010 at 12:22 am

So good to hear from you Juliana and thank you for your comment. Sounds like you had a memorable time at the Alamodrome. Gives a hint of the potential there is when a large number of people are in agreement.
I’m very happy to have made a connection with you.
Every good wish.

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56 Corinne Rodrigues July 16, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Steven – Thanks for hosting one of my favorite bloggers here. He’s got messages that we all need to hear time and again…..
Chris – You know how I feel…….
Thank you both.

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57 Christopher Foster July 18, 2010 at 8:17 pm

God bless you Corinne. Such a great friend. Thank you for your kind and ENCOURAGING words…

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