Line BreakAuthor: Steven Aitchison (399 Articles)
The owner of this blog. Proud father, doting husband, blogger, hire me as freelance writer, and addiction worker
Ask the coach is a new weekly feature on CYT whereby you, the reader, get to ask a personal development question and two coaches myself and Ayo Olaniyan will answer your question in the form of a post. Your question can be anything related to your personal development however we cannot give advice on such topics as investments, the law, and medical advice, you should always seek out a professional for these matters. Example questions might be:
How can I become more assertive?
How can I deal with overpowering people at work?
How can I become less introverted?
How can I overcome a recurring nightmare?
These are only example questions and you can ask more of less anything you want.
Coaching is a process and one on one coaching can be much better as one issue you have in life maybe a manifestation of problems in other areas of your life. So it is not a comprehensive solution to your problems but rather a guide to get you started thinking about the issue at hand.
Meet the coaches
For anybody who doesn’t know me here is a short bio. Steven Aitchison has been writing for Change Your Thoughts blog for 3 years. He has a BSc in Psychology and is currently working as a drug and alcohol addiction worker. His main interests in the field of psychology are thought processes, belief formation and the dreaming mind.
‘I believe anybody can be coached to reach their true potential, sometimes it just takes a nudge, some direction, and a little encouragement.’
Ayo Olaniyan has recently joined us an author on CYT and writes for blogs across the net as well as his own at www.discoveringpurpose.co.uk He is a certified Unitive™ Life Coach, having completed an Advanced Postgraduate Level tutorial in Unitive Coaching with the foremost UK Life Coach Charles Bentley PhD. He is currently studying for a Post Graduate Certificate in Personal and Professional Development (University of East London) with a view to carrying out research at a Masters Level on completion. He also holds a BSc. in Chemistry, Certificate in Counselling from the Institute of Counselling and a University Diploma in Psychotherapeutics from the University of Derby.
The way it will work
You will be able to ask a question here on this post. So if you have a question on your personal development just post a comment and when we answer a question we will email you to let you know we have chosen your question to be answered. There will be two questions answered per week which will give us a chance to answer as many questions as possible. Remember and put your correct email address when posting a comment as we will email you directly to let you know your answer as well as posting the answer on this blog.
Questions will be chosen and answered every Thursday by myself and Ayo and will be around 500 – 700 words replies. This will hopefully benefit other readers who have similar type questions. We will also answer any questions by way of comments on the question and answers for that particular week.
Do you have a question about your personal development?
Go ahead and leave a question in the comment box below and hopefully next week we can help to guide you in the right direction.
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How can I job hunt and market my skills in a school environment?
How can I drop bad habits easily?
I care too much about what other people think. My fear of other’s disapproval is the basis of many of my decisions. I say yes when I should say no. I recognize the problem but feel powerless. How do I make my own decisions based on what I think I should do?
This is a great idea Steve. I can’t wait to see the results.
Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills´s last blog ..Is It Time to Reinvent Yourself?
How can i increase my communication skills?
jonathanfigaro´s last blog ..3 Easy Improve Mind Tips
I feel that its a whole lot easier to know the right things but the difficult part is implementing them.
Macky99´s last blog ..Amazing Images of Moon,Mars and Space from Google Earth
How can I use “LOW OF ATTRACTION” in my life?
Good luck on this one, I’m really curious about this one will work. but knowing ou already, I can only have very high expectations
Dragos Roua´s last blog ..Finding Reasons To Agree
When we experience something major in our life, what some may term as a crisis, then how do we learn completely so it is not necessary to repeat this in an endless cycle.
[Note to editor. My last name is Mae, but it was unclear as to whether my full name or first name would be posted on the web. It would be nice to have this clarified on the Post a Response web form
]
It would be wonderful to have a button to EDIT or DELETE a post after it is submitted.
having a possible big changes in front of me. this will probably include a change of job, etc. i welcome these and in fact am all for it, but big changes do sometimes make one a bight insecure, anxious etc. what are some tips to cope with big changes in ones life
Hi,
My question is a bit long-winded, sorry about that!
I’m in my late 20’s and have suffered from anxiety in the past and got some help through the Dr in the form of counselling. Once that was completed I felt a lot stronger and happier within myself and looked forward to the future and had a good 18 months of feeling good and also dealing with problems, including being made redundant and some difficult people at work. That was 2 and a bit years ago.
Since then, I’ve changed careers, returned to uni on a part time basis, whilst working full time hours, 50+ a week, in a new and hard environment. Its brought on anxieties that I’ve had in the past, left me feeling constantly tired, miserable, feeling totally inadequate and compared too many people I work with, totally alien in personality and mindset. The role has been important as its been a foot in the door and valuable experience for which I can now use to my advantage in the future as my route of work branches off but its left me feeling very anxious.
I’d describe myself as easy going, probably thinking about others first and what the older generation would call term as a ‘worrier’ and I feel like I can’t assert myself.
I’m really worried about this taking a firmer grip that it has already as I want to be successful and most of all happy. I’m finding as in the past its becoming a major stumbling block because as I worry my attention is deteriorating, I’m always anxieties about what people are going to say to me in work, which has manifested itself into my social life. As mentioned above, I see myself as too nice.
I’ve had a bit of verbal bullying as a teenager, which I didn’t real deal with well and at times, thankfully, despite not being bullied in work I feel like that same teenager who felt totally stuck, frustrated and feel like I’ve got no like minded people around me to help me through this.
So, what can I do to move forward, to hopefully manage and deal with this for the future?
Many thanks.
Hi
I work in an environment where there is a lot of gossip, I find myself getting angry, when I hear about rumours about myself that are not true, and I don’t know how to handle people that make their judgement of my charachter based on those rumours…knowing that they haven’t taken the time to even get to know me.
In one particular instance there is a person who makes it a point to ignore me at work, gives me the evil eye etc. I have confronted her, and the reply I got before she walked off was “I do not want to converse with you, you can’t be trusted”
I now don’t talk to that person as i believe that I have done all that i can do, and now believe that she is the one with the problem, but I still feel uncomfortable around her.
Hope you can help
Tim
Hello,
I would like to ask what is the key point for overcoming fears and panic attacks.Should we change our life style ,way of thinking and anything else.Please,send me advice and step by step program for removing fears.
Thanks,
M
What should we know to overcome agoraphobia?
Hey guys,
Here’s my question:
I’ve found that my biggest sticking point in all of this is acting quickly. I have always been a micromanager of decisions and deliberate before taking action. However, as I procrastinate and weigh the decisions of what to do next or when to do my project, my mind drifts off to different places (like dark corners of the internet), resulting in exponentially more time lost. The only time I can seem to pull myself together and not procrastinate (especially when finishing one project and moving on to the next) is when there’s a deadline to be met. But the pressure of the deadline seems to suck the life out of me and my work.
The question is: how can I do the things I want to do without procrastinating or deliberating when there isn’t the stress of a deadline?
bretthimself´s last blog ..Why I Am Free
Steps to take and follow in order to keep ourselves focussed on our goals and one fine day achieve them? How to stay away from feelings of inferiority and worries looking at people who have somehow got some of those things which I long to have.
? Also how can one possibly stay away from feelings of inferiority and worries looking at others who some how have got certain things in life that one dreams of owning?
How can I deal with deep depression as I have no one in the world I can talk to as I have not one friend. I am on a course and every student is totally self obsessed and selfish. I have no one to ture to and ask for help. How do I deal with this situation. I am totally alone in the world.
my problems seem like a huge mountain to climb. i suffer from depression low self esteem anxiety worry and panic problems. i also have a constant feeling of fear inside me .everyday i have the same negative thought patterns. i dont know what i want out of life anymore i have lost my way completely. everything i do is on my own as i feel people dont want me as a companion or mate . i seem to send out signals to people that they dont want to take me serious and want to get out of my company. i feel i have a lot to offer but i also feel i have no power whatsoever. i could say a lot more but i think thats enough for now. i would be very grateful if you could give me something to go on.
Hello, I am a big fan and subscriber to your annual newsletter. I am only 19 years old but I have many questions but I will ask one that is most important to me at this time.
I tend to let people’s actions get the best of my emotions, and I also let my compassionate nature take over and that often allows people to manipulate me. How can I help people, and be compassionate without letting them hurt me?
Thank you
~ Benjamin Lemon
hi sir! yup i do hve a question thk u fr this oppturnity…i wntd to knw as what shld i do to improve my attention, my concentration on my focus , my target which i hve set up for myself
Hi,
Well I do have a question, but before I ask, I must say out of all the transformational and personal growth websites I have been visiting, yours is one place I have been finding myself returning to more frequently out of my own free will, not through being manipulated into being here… so thanx for the good work, I hope I can contribute one day.
As for the question, this is a maker or breaker for me, so I’d have to give you some background.
I’m now 48 the youngest of 8 born in Lebnaon. I grew up in Australia, and since where I was born where I spent the 1st 16 year of my life, sex education was Zilch, jam packed with early 20th century guilt and endless unknown stuff being born in already established family structure of 8, with all their games, secrets, and of course each one’s way of hiding their sexual guilt.
So I spent most of my life in Aust. dealing with these important sexual issues, much to my relief… sounds good so far?
I came back a few years ago to live among my birth relos in Lebanon.. many of them are more educated, free from my parents hardline stuff…
Suddenly I find myself surrounded by a new generation, their children who are in their 30’s and 40’s stuck in the same guilt ridden trips.
The Question: I feel I need to create a forum where people feel safe to share their sexual fears, taboos, and guilt, but I just do not know hot to start that, because some of the elders seem to emotionally black mail anyone that tries to free themselves from their moral codes on sexual guilt and taboos.
How can I experience a total turn around in my thinking hence action lifestyle so much that in a period of say 2 months I can truly testify that I am such a different individual? I am worried about the slow change I am seeing in me – I do not want to take as much as ‘a lifetime’ to change my thoughts and begin to experience the splendid progress and success I see some of my colleagues living. I am not happy where I am and I want to get a new guy in me! I have Nov and Dec as my turn around months – but I want to look at a quick bang personal change within this time!
hi dear friend,
my question is , if someone feels that his soul is in the curse, how can keep it away from mind to be free? it makes the jail for… so how to be success with this terrible thought!?
thank you so much.
regards,
ramo