Line BreakAuthor: Steven Aitchison (382 Articles)
The owner of this blog. Proud father, doting husband, blogger, hire me as freelance writer, and addiction worker
Recently I have been looking at the way I interact with people, my clients, my work colleagues, my mentors, my wife and my children. I am a great listener and that comes across when someone is speaking to me and I suppose that’s a good thing if you are doing counselling of any kind. However I have noticed that I am also quite impatient with certain types of people, particularly anybody who is energy draining, you know the type of people who think everything is a hassle and the whole world is against them and nothing ever goes right for them ,it infuriates me to be around people like this and usually I avoid them like the plague. However, recently I thought about what people like this have to teach me. I recently had a chance to talk to someone like this in depth and had to hold it together long enough to ask myself ‘what is this person teaching me about myself?’ and the next question is ‘What am I teaching them about themselves?’. The answers were quite surprising to me.
What is this person teaching me about myself?
I am intolerant of negative people – wow!, what a revelation (sarcastic tone there) , how is this relevant? Well, I do counselling work for a living and being intolerant of certain types of people is not a good thing and that will come across to the person who is talking to me.
What am I teaching them about themselves?
If someone who has a dark outlook on life is talking to me and I am giving them vibes that I don’t like talking to them this is going to re-enforce their belief about themselves that nobody likes them, the world is a dark place etc etc.
What I did to change
I looked at the person in a different light. That person was there to teach me patience, to teach me tolerance and I had to remind myself of that. I was there to ask him a simple question ‘Why is your world so dark?’
This is exactly the question I asked him and he was taken aback when I asked that. He didn’t really think he had a dark outlook on life and it was a bit of a revelation to him as well. We spoke about it for a while and by asking that simple question he was able to change almost instantly as his perception of his world had changed. The next few sessions revealed that he had changed the way he looked at life and constantly asked himself what he would do if he was a positive person, obviously there were still dark moments but he was much more able to cope with them.
Everyone is a teacher
This was a great lesson for me and it’s one of those moments that changed a certain aspect of me for a lifetime. It’s those moments that make us grow as people and we can’t change overnight but we can have lots of a-ha moments which help to shape our lives.
What is someone trying to teach you?
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice post.
Craig’s great blog post..Get out Of Your Rut with the 2 Reasons That Got You in It
What a great story Steve. We really open ourselves up to personal growth when we look for the lessons life is handing us. I think of these personal revelations as ah-ha moments. That’s when the light comes on and the whole picture changes. As you experienced, these events put us in a much better position to assist others.
Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills’s great blog post..Who Needs Approval?
This is a very good article. Each one of us has different experiences and learns how to deal with them in a different way. By sharing with each other we thus teach each other a different way of looking at a particular situation. Who will you learn from today?
You have shared a deep thought. In this age of information boom, nobody is aware of all the things and if we restrict ourselves from certain sort of people, we will not be able to make use of the knowledge they have to offer.
John Samuel’s great blog post..Insights to Add links to your posts [Wordpress Plugin]
Great post, these are some great things to keep in mind when dealing with those frustrating people
Thanks for these insights.
Tom Dempsey’s great blog post..Knowing When to Say “No”
Good post. I like the questions you asked yourself and how they made you learn; smart. I’m going to apply them the next time I’m in a similar situation. It’ll be interesting to see what happens.
Laurie | Express Yourself to Success’s great blog post..Leadership Communication During Uncertain Times
I’m also intolerant for the negative Steve. But even more I don’t tolerate (I don’t want to use stronger languare) constant liers. People who think out stories that you just know they’re not true make me really mad!
Nieruchomosci Gyrfino’s great blog post..Sprzedaż mieszkania 3-pokojowego na GT
My wife and I have a Law of Attraction website and we love finding stuff like your blog to show other people.
Just today, I was wondering about how to deal with this situation I’m in. This really dark negative person takes the crap out of me every time I try to post. So I decided to stop belonging to that site. But really, the guy was teaching me patience and the contrast of how to deal with negative people.
Very thankful I found your blog. I posted this article on my Facebook page too, hope that’s Ok with you.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/stevesoucy?ref=nf
another Steve
Steve Soucy’s great blog post..Law of Attraction – that’s what we’re about!
great post,here ,I agree with you that we are all the teachers of ourselves, this idea I felt that It’s true when I was talking with people concerning my social issues ,or what’s bothering,any problem ,any unknown fact,person,…After,a big amount of interaction with people ,real friends ,on line ones,I realized that ,we teach ,help assist and maybe treat heal each other,and this way ,our”medicine=wisdom” move to another one…
Great Post here I agree with you!
ASUS Eee PC’s great blog post..ASUS Eee PC 1004DN BIOS 0503
Wow – what a truly deep revelation you and he had. Even though I am a positive person and don’t like negative thinking it always bothered me that poeple would tell me to avoid negative people. We all have sad moments but overall I tend to stop and redirect myself towards the positive… towards the hope.
Although there are times in life that I really can’t be around a depressive suicidal person – I don’t like the idea of avoiding them. If all positive people avoided all negative people who would get the negative out of their negativity? Being positive is a skill that can be taught. Some people have a natural tendency to be upbeat while others need a lot more work to get there.
So I think you did a great thing here deciding to look into yourself and to change your perspective.
Eren Mckay’s great blog post..Poem for hope in God – on hope in the midst of trials – “And I Await”
It took me years to learn that difficulties I have – with other people or in life – are presents to me. Opportunities to improve myself. I once heard someone say – it’s not what happens to you in life, it’s how you respond to it.
Thanks,
Ted
This is a valuable lesson for real estate professionals. I frequently hear San Diego Realtors always complain the ’sellers are yellers’ and ‘buyers are whiners.’ Of course buying and selling a home is a very stressful experience. Stress brings out the worst in people. But it’s amazing how many people who complain about the yelling are themselves very belligerent, and how many people who complain about the whiners are themselves insecure.
Rancho Santa Fe Real Estate´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at
We normally shut such people out of our zone. All conversations with them are always superficial. The fact that you actually tried to analyze and learn from such types is by itself a lesson for not discounting any other person or their views.
Arun K´s last blog ..Threadless Tshirt Giveaway at jaypeeonline.net