Line BreakAuthor: Steven Aitchison (399 Articles)
The owner of this blog. Proud father, doting husband, blogger, hire me as freelance writer, and addiction worker
It can be extremely difficult to focus on the good when, seemingly, bad things are happening in your life. However you can train your mind to focus on the good things in your life rather than dwelling on the bad. No it’s not one of those positive thinking articles that you’ve read all over the web and are sick and tired of. This is about changing the way you think, changing your thinking pattern. Do you use any of these thinking patterns in your day to day life?
8 limiting patterns of thinking
- ‘Life is shit’ Thinking pattern –Everything in life is bad, everybody is not to be trusted and nothing good will ever happen to them e.g. “I won’t get that job, the interviewer didn’t like me, I didn’t particularly like them anyway.”
- ‘Unsubstantiated conclusive’ Thinking pattern– You tend to make a lot of conclusions without any evidence to back up your conclusions. This can be a really destructive pattern as it can limit you in seeing reality for what it is e.g. “He walks a bit funny, he must be gay.” (I actually heard someone saying this about a colleague last week).
- ‘Never to me’ Thinking pattern – This is when you think nothing good will ever happen to you. This can be a deep seated way of thinking and it is a deep down inability to believe you are worthy of anything good happening to you e.g. “I’ll never have money, I’ve never had it before so I’ll never have it in the future, might as well carry on with this shitty job, at least it pays the mortgage.”
- ‘The negative psychic’ Thinking pattern – Presuming you know what people are thinking about you and it’s all bad. e.g. “She thinks I’m an idiot, I’ll try to avoid talking to her.”
- ‘Should, would, could’ Thinking pattern – This type of person knows what they have to do to change their life, they are capable and they know it and they would do it if only……… e.g. “I know I could go to university and I would, but I’m just to busy with other things right now, I’ll apply next year.”
- ‘Emotion based’ Thinking pattern – Your emotions control what you are thinking and therefore your vision of what reality is e.g. “I feel incapable of doing that so I must be incapable”.
- ‘It’s all my fault’ Thinking pattern – You see yourself as being the cause of everything bad that has happened e.g. “It’s my fault he left me for another woman.” You’ll notice this type of person does not take responsibility for the good things that happen.
- ‘They’re all wrong’ Thinking pattern – You see everyone as incapable of doing anything right and your way is the best way to do it e.g. “He can’t do it right, I’ll stay late tonight and fix it when he’s gone.”
These are just some of the common thinking patterns I have come across in my life and I have used some of them myself, I used to use mix the ‘Never to me’ and ‘The negative psychic’ thinking patterns about everything, “She’ll never go out with me she thinks I’m an idiot.” I made a conscious effort to change what I believed about myself and what I believed about the world and it has literally changed my life.
How to change the destructive thinking patterns
The first stage of changing is to recognise the problem – You will find a lot of people in life who just don’t think there is a problem so there is no need to change. If this is you then do nothing. If you want to change you must think there is a need and you will start to recognise what things need to change and it usually starts with your perception of life. Everybody’s perception of life is different, therefore everyone’s reality is different. I don’t live in the same world as you and you don’t live in the same world as me. That might sound a strange concept to some people, but think about it for a few minutes, it could change the way you see the world. I’ll give you an example:
In 2004 I took a redundancy package from my place of employment and received about £10,000 for my troubles, not a lot at all when I was earning £25,000 a year when I left. I was speaking to my friend about it and he thought I was absolutely nuts to do it, especially since I was married with two children. I explained to him how free I felt and what plans I had to start an online book dealing business and my wife was right behind me. He still thought I was crazy. My perception of the world was one of opportunity, life was great and I was free from the rat race for a while and I would get to see my wife and children a lot more than I had, I was ecstatic and if it didn’t work out I had a lot of skills to offer another employer. My friends perception was one of doom and gloom, he needed the security of a full time job even though he hated it and was working 12 hours per day. It turns out I worked at it for 1 year made a good profit but gave it up due to a huge downturn in business. At the end of it I was still optimistic as I knew I was good enough to get another job until I could do something else.
Everybody’s view of the world is different and it all comes down to the thinking patterns you use in your daily life. If you think life is wonderful you will notice the wonderful things in your life, if you think life is shit you will find shit things about life. Change your thoughts and you literally change the world you are living in. First you have to recognise your destructive thinking pattern.
The second stage is to be aware of when you are using the destructive thinking patterns – We can employ different thinking patterns depending on what we are doing in life. For example you could use a positive thinking pattern at work as you are very confident in your ability and yet use a destructive one when it comes to looking for love. Recognising when you use destructive thinking patterns can help you to change that pattern. Now that you have recognised when you use the destructive thinking patterns it is now time to change it.
The third stage is to replace the bad with the good – This is something that you don’t do immediately. You don’t say to yourself ‘I’ll never be able to do that”, which is you old thinking pattern, to “Oh yes I can”. That won’t work. You have to let the old pattern die slowly whilst slowly introducing your new improved thinking pattern. Here an example:
You are out in a club and you want to talk to someone you are attracted to. Your thoughts are “ She’ll never talk to me, she’s gorgeous.” You will immediately recognise this pattern of thinking and tell yourself something good about yourself e.g. “I’m good at _______(FILL IN THE BLANK), it can be anything. This will not immediately help your situation but it will slowly begin to change your old destructive thinking pattern with a new one.
This stage takes place over time and is not done immediately. The best time to change a destructive thinking pattern is to let it run it’s course and slowly replace it with a thinking pattern that is better for you. I know people want a microwave life, stick it in the micro and it’s ready in 3 minutes, your life is not like that and you cannot change in 1 day, unless something drastic happens.
You can work on more than 1 destructive thinking pattern at a time.
To recap
To change your thinking pattern you have to
Recognise
Be aware
Slowly change and introduce a new thinking pattern
Keep working on all your destructive thinking patterns
Change your life with your new way of thinking
Recognising and changing your way of thinking can be a long process depending on what patterns of thinking you employ and how badly you want to change. People can change, do change and change for the rest of their lives, I know I have, so don’t be thinking you’ll never be able to change, you can and you will if you really want to.
After a few months you will see a huge difference in your life and you will want to use your new way of thinking to good effect. You will start to notice new types of people enter into your life who can help you reach the goals you have in life and in turn you will help them reach their goals, don’t worry about how just now.
Take time to think about your goals and take the time often to do this. I take time every day to think about where I want to be in life and slowly but surely it happens. Personally I find it better in the morning to really think about my goals and then again at night just before I am falling asleep. It works for me but you will have to experiment a little to find your way of thinking about your goals.
I hope this article has helped you a little. If you feel you would like to say something about it why not leave a comment.
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Great article Steve, our thoughts are our biggest roadblock to success.
Another thought pattern I believe that holds so many down is taking the wishes of others for our life to heart, rather than listening to our own dreams and needs. I recently wrote a post about this – http://billriddell.com/it-is-your-life/
These are great tips. Have your read ‘As a Man Thinketh” – Benjamin Koshkin
That book is by James Allen. These ideas are not new, but they are still very usefull. – Michael Adkinson
This is a great article. Our perceptions are very powerful and surprisingly, they influence how people treat us. This in turn reinforces our negative (or positive) perceptions.
Beware, the zombie apoclypse is coming!
nothing new. Same old think positive story.
Very intriguing article!
Thanks for sharing these great tips. Part of our work on improving our own thinking is to avoid spending time with people who are stuck in negative thinking with no plans to get out.
“avoid spending time with people who are stuck in negative thinking with no plans to get out”
Good point Flora- A challenging proposition when they are our spouse/ partner or child.
Antony.
if a man with no legs complains to you that he cannot run, telling him to imagine he has legs wont make him grow some.
There is a saying that you should be careful what you wish for because you might just get it. Sometimes you have to recognise that what might seem good could really be bad. A lottery jackpot for an alcoholic might just end with their death from alcohol abuse. So maybe things are not so bad – it is just how we perceive them.
I think it’s funny that people read this article and then reply with NEGATIVE responses. That is exactly what the author is trying to get across to people. JEEZ! I employed positive thinking in my life years ago, and yes sometimes life sucks, but you just have to realize that it’s NOT THAT BAD. Unless you die things will always get better if you try.
Life is shit, you just don’t notice it when good things are hppening to you that pre-occupy your mind!
Awesome advice. I find similar advice that is very helpful in Andrew Matthews’ books and tapes.
if you’re telling people to not think negatively because they do not know the outcome of the situation ahead, you shouldn’t tell them to think positively about it either. remain neutral. in unknown circumstances there is no reason to be scared, but there is also no reason to create false hope(setting up a fall)…
personally, i think life can be great, don’t get me wrong. but please don’t say “it’s not that bad”. that’s your opinion, not a fact. you don’t need to lie to yourself to do the things you want to do. but being inexperienced or unfamiliar shouldn’t stop you either.
The reason there is so much talk / writing about positive thinking is simple: it works. Changing your thinking doesn’t have to be time consuming or painful either. Affirmations will take you there quickly!
Cheers
Thanks for the reminder – good, sage advice.
And to return the favor, I suggest your article can and probably does help more than just “a little” – hope for it to help, maybe a lot!
I have fouind out that when I think negative thoughts,nothing good ever happens, so now I pry myself on thinking only positives and see the disappointments as a test for a bigger and better blessing
Thanks for the article. I really believe it in. Negativity brings negative things. Positive thoughts might not change the initial situation, but you can think you way out of it. Negative thoughts just leave you in a black hole with no light to see your way out.
Great reminder on positivity.
I find that when I focus on the positive rather than the negative I put myself in a better situation to find alternatives, options, and opportunities.
To the person who said don’t tell the man with no legs that he can run, I hear what you are saying.
But perhaps if that man decides he WILL run, he will look for the possibilities that could make that happen. Because you know, someone had to dream up the possibility for prosthetic limbs to exist.
Since quantum physics shows us that you get what you focus on, it’s important to stay positive! Negative thoughts create negativity, and loving, positive thoughts will bring you much happier results.
Having a positive mental outlook is the first step to achieving anything you that you desire, nothing can stop you from becoming successful, happy or whatever it is that want out of life, the only thing that can stop you is, yourself!
I know there’s two ways to spell it, but it’s recognize not recognise!! haha I know I know but come on! Who spells it like that!
Ok this whole “negative thoughts are bad” thing? NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
hippies…
Wow, thanks for all the comments on this even the negative ones, without you people we wouldn’t recognise a good comment so I appreciate you taking the time to leave your negative thoughts here, I have to say on every single negative comment not one person has had the guts to leave their real details, this tells me a lot about you.
Hi Steve – I think I’ve been through every single one of these thinking patterns over the years. And once you retrain yourself, you tend to notice other people using them more, as you did with your friend.
This article is a great reminder – it’s easy sometimes to slip back into bad habits.
The United Kingdom spells it like that.
“Comment by Emily on 5 July 2008:
I know there’s two ways to spell it, but it’s recognize not recognise!! haha I know I know but come on! Who spells it like that!”
very good articles about this patterns.bookmarked your site
What Steve mentions at the very beginning of the article is important: everyone lives in the world they perceive. Keeping that in mind, positive thoughts will project a positive world for that individual.
In the movie “Turtles can fly”, which projects a radically harsh reality in some place of the Middle East, the characters show how -even in the worse situations- the positive approach can make a difference. And even those who choose the “negative” alternative (i.e. death), under their particular perspective, such alternative is not negative at all.
Cath, I have noticed this a lot over the years, it is a quandry whether or not to tell people. In the end I don’t end up telling them, you’ve got to let people find their own way and if they ask for help so much the better.
Thanks Melissa.
Hi Funny dogs, nice to have you here.
Ximena, that’s an important point you have brought up and is the main focus of the article. I haven’t seen that film, I will try and source, thanks.
You pretty much covered all the destructive thinking patterns – well done! Not only is it hard on the individual to be thinking this way all the time, but it’s hard on the people around him too. Negative thinking can turn into negative conversations and actions and then everyone suffers. As you say, positive change is possible; your steps are a practical way to improve. Thanks.
Great article Steve, I think the confusion comes with the positive thinking. As you say, it’s very difficult thinking positive when we are suffering. However, after you accept what it is right now and focus on the positive you have, you can move on to change your perception. Living without legs no doubt is a tragedy, but you have to accept the reality sooner or later. Then, you can “dwell” with the same obsession in things you love to do that don’t require legs. You might be surprised the light you find underneath the ashes.
I couldn’t agreed more with you. It is your thoughts that will determine your life. Think positive, act positive, take action and your life will be a lot different. Cheers.
Steve, I just wanted to mention that I am sharing your article on my blog and recommending readers to subscribe to your rss. Great article!
Brett
awesome article about teaching people to lie to themselves!
that shits real. ive been doing the same recently and i can definitely say i notice the difference.
good article
I love it. Very positive. Very helpful.
I love this
I have read ..As a man thinketh,Byways to blessedness…and the best of all is Charles Haanel,The Master Key System…that book is over 100 years old and everything here is mentioned there.I just love it and it is my very favorite book.
I have the free online e-book,of all 3 of these…should anyone want
Saying stuff like “winning the lottery could be really bad for you” or “don’t tell someone with no legs to be positive” is pretty naive. Regarding the “lottery” thing, obviously noone can predict every outcome of every event that takes place, that doesn’t change the fact that it is in our interest to do what we think is good for us. What else would we aim at? Doing what’s bad for us? Doing nothing? That’s like saying “since we can’t theoretically prove that humans have free will, there is no point in doing anything at all”. What you are talking about is unwanted consequences of (potentially) uninformed decisions, which is an important aspect of managing to live a successful life in its own right- utilizing our intelligence to choose things that will further our survival and happiness is pretty much the reason we were equipped with these huge-ass brains. There will always be a chance that even with the best of intentions and accurate information, we will screw everything up. What did you expect? Negative outcomes are part of life, we try to avoid them to the best of our abilities- noone in their right mind actively seeks them out, it’s a psychological imperative. It certainly does not mean that we should avoid making choices at all, in fact, refraining from making choices altogether because of potential negative outcomes usually yields far worse results than any other choice would have done.
As for “people with no legs”, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that people still throw this around. Yes, sometimes life serves you a big fucking lemon, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Tough luck, it’s the same for everyone. That doesn’t mean that the advice given here don’t apply to anyone, anywhere, ever. The majority of people on this planet still have both of their legs, you know. Yeah, I get what you’re saying- a positive attitude isn’t an automatic solution to all of our problems. However, all things equal positive thinking (or rather a realistic and neutral form of thinking as I like to see it) will more often than not award you opportunities that would have been closed to you had you been in a more moody mindset. It is a creative way of interacting with the world, where you don’t let negative emotions color your experiences, bringing you down and therefore making you less inclined to solve your problems rather than wallow in them. And, by the way, this kind of thinking will perhaps not bring a guy’s legs back, but then again, what will? Is that a reason to ignore all mental and emotional aspects of ones life? I don’t believe the advice given here is contingent on any particular physical capabilities- as long as you’re a sentient, rational being, there are better or worse ways to deal with your life, experiences and potentials. Thinking like this, at least for me, has been much more effective at producing desirable outcomes than the alternative. It’s more enjoyable as well.
Very interesting and helpful article to aid in meditation and living a satisfying lifestyle.
I enjoy reading all of the remarks. One thing that hasn’t been mentioned much is how much more “fun” a postive person is to be around. I work at a Nursing Home where there is one lady who is usually negative all the time. “I am a dumb. I can’t do anything right. Why does God allow me to live. I would rather be dead.and on and on”. I can’t wait to get out of her room because being around such a person is such a downer. I am always trying to make her see something positive and feel better about herself but sometimes it is a never ending project.
I have others who are happy even though they have problems such as not being able to see
One thing I beleive is that everyone has problems amd it is just the way you see things that make your life miserable or bearable.
This is our anniversity today so it is more important today see the positive things in life.
We just put up with each other faults. He still leaves the seat up, hates shopping, hates long trips etc. I found that I could put the seat down and go shopping without him or go traveling alone
I think that my husband should bring all the postive things in my life like I did as a newlywed and was crushed when he said something I didn’t like.
I don’t depend on my husband, kids, job to bring me joy. I love living and am thankful everyday for another day. I believe that an Attitude of Gratitude
I have had some miracles in my life that have only increased this Attitude
What that person said about your colleague is commonly known as “gaydar” – the innate ability to tell if someone is gay, often by the way they walk or speak. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then I will call it a duck. Perhaps you should take another look at your colleague, this person might be right (some gay people do not even admit they are gay, how messed up is that!?)
“What that person said about your colleague is commonly known as ‘gaydar’ – the innate ability to tell if someone is gay”
Wrong. Gaydar is the innate ability of *gay* people to recognize other gay people who are NOT usually recognized as gay by straight people. What you’re talking about is stereotyping, not gaydar.
I think you just described exactly the same thing except that you think it is something only gay people can do, which it isn’t.
No, I’ve seen hundreds of instances where straight people are oblivious and gay people are clued. I don’t mean to pull rank, but if you’re straight you have no basis for claiming that ability.
Thank you. I decided to actively work on my mind and perception of the world around. I am glad that I stumbled upon your page.
I have a lot of anger problems in my life and that causes the people close to me think of me in a negative way. I never really knew how to change that until I read this article. Thank you for opening my eyes and helping me to become a better person. I’m very glad to have stumble upon this page
How come peanut butter taste like peanuts?
you want to be happy in life you don’t get it free show your wild life the love you have for them feed them in the garden turn to your home and look at it think wow what a lovely home I love my room and space no I dont need nothing roof over my head food in my mouth friends family I got what I need but if it comes to me it’s an extra bonus why is it feeding the birds am I a good person well you will have to wait and see what comes to you but be wise with it.if it’s allot think of retirement at 50 with property and enjoy life to the full if your single married could loose half we all live in a jungle if your rich marry someone rich. if your not good luck I am a sentient of life never be rich but love the life helping others take care in all who reads me.
I think this post pretty much summarises why the power of positive thinking is so important, and that if the majority of depressed or unhappy people could recognise the “triggers” or the patterns in their thinking, the world would be a happier place.
Some of these things are correct, but you can’t always look at life in a positive way. Thinking positive all the time leads to expectations and anxiety, and if you do get let down, it feels so much worse
You can always try to see the positives in life. And you manifest in your life what you focus most on. A book called the secret teaches about giving thanks everyday. Remembering the things you are grateful for always helps banish these destructive thought patterns
Diane, You said that you have all three books free on-line. I would so much appriciate it if you would share the link to access those books.
Steve – I have read many articles ect. reguarding positive thinking. I loved your article and I think it’s important for us all to get a reminder sometimes to take check on the way we are currently thinking. Sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves in this crazy world. Thanks!
I would like to thank you for writing this article. I sometimes ‘get stuck’, and this article is just the thing to bail me out.
So right on. I had in one conversation these responses. “I can’t help it. That’s easy for you. You know how not to let things get to you.” It’s too bad that when the lesson needs to be learned that the teacher comes but the student doesn’t listen. They can’t see through the haze of their own self-limiting behaviors and beliefs until it’s too late.
What you think about, you bring about. I agree with Pjean, I have a negative friend who has many negative things happen to her and I think she brings it on herself. It must be awful to feel that much hate.
Change your thoughts to positive ones will change your life in a profound way.
http://www.inspirationforchange.com
personal experience of life has taught me that positive attitudes can determine who and what comes into our lives it is not always possible to be in control of circumstances o r people but we can make choices every cloud has a silver lining
Author Debbie Ford has a book about 10 questions that can change our lives and one of them is, “Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?” Pretty powerful question. It’s simply about >awareness<! Is it really helpful to be doom and gloom?
may G and I be happy, grow together, accept each other, build trust,love and caring.
Life will always have its ups and downs; this is why it’s called life.
But each and every one of us has the ability to change our destiny just by our thought process.
Negative thinking will always produce more negative results!
Positive thinking will always produce positive results as long as you become part of the solution, and apply yourself to get them!
Its a very good article. I found it in the heat of my anger and negative thinking… And now im calmer… Thanks!
Im 21, full time uni student and i still live at home with conservative parents. I find that when im at home, thats when most the negative thoughts start… And i think its because every1 at home has mostly negative thoughts… I cant escape it. They say that they dont have a problem and that im the 1 with the problem. I dont have my own space, so isolating myself from them is just not an option…
My question is, how does one stay positive when there are so many inescapable negative influences around?
Positive thinking is what it’s all about! When you start to get those negative thoughts, instead of thinking about what you don’t want, or what you don’t want to happen, focus on what you do want, and what you do want to happen!
‘They’re all wrong’ Thinking pattern – You see everyone as incapable of doing anything right and your way is the best way to do it e.g. “He can’t do it right, I’ll stay late tonight and fix it when he’s gone.”
I used to act like this but then i learn t that it is in working with others that we achieve the best results.
Also check out a great book, “The Optimistic Child” that talks about how thinking patterns impact who you become.
http://www.elementsofmemory.com
http://trevorponder.com
This is really tough for me… I have always been a negative thinker. I have been trying to change my train of thought it is just difficult to do so when I am so trained to my old way of thinking. Anyways, thanks for the post!
I definitely fall in to that “should, would, could” trap of thinking. I always over analyze everything but lately have been forcing myself to “do” instead of just consider.
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Nice and very productive article. It has some some of my confusions……..I just like to know……Why and how negative thinking pattern is developed?
Zubair
Pakistan
Special thanks from Lebanon for your advice
if you think youre so smart and anylitical you should learn how to spell recognise
sorry i didnt know you can spell it two different ways my bad for the negative thinking
I tend to be too critical of myself and guilty of those items in the list that effect a person to hard on themselves. Thanks for posting this.
Really Nice Tips. Thanks For sharing the Useful tips. In Mind People are Think the 2 types one is Positive thinking and second is Negative Thinking.
I have problem with negativity thinking. I guess i assume people won’t like me and assume people are thinking bad about me. It just that people do make bad faces sometimes and i takeit personally. oh well, try harder next time. and also do you think i should try affirmations? helen
Great piece of work I like this.
I like what you have done.
#1 Challenge yourself to write something from your own experience
#2 Start using something outside of the box
#3 Remember that fresh is better than out of date
#4 Be someone who thinks about helping others
#5 Expect to see yourself going somewhere other have not gone
#6 Never settle for the same old stuff
#7 Read something new every once in a while
i found this article very helpful as i am working on deconstruction of thinking patterns. hope i will see more such helpful articles
It is worth reading and it can be used to make a personal evaluation how one thinks.
George karunakkal
g.karunakkal’s great blog post..What You Grow inside Grows Outside
Negative thinking can really inhibit your ability to succeed, which is why eliminating the negativity is crucial if you are to succeed past your current limits. If you think you are just mediocre and cannot get past mediocrity, then you won’t have a chance. While positive thinking doesn’t necessarily mean you will succeed at that attempt, at least you will have had a chance because you will just try again.
I think I’ve been through every single one of these thinking patterns over the years. And once you retrain yourself, you tend to notice other people using them more, as you did with your friend.
its nice to know how to came out negative to positive.
Wow! I am definitely going to tweet this article. How completely insightful!
I have been noticing in the last year that people that I truly love have negative thought patterns and this affects all of the decisions that they make (in a bad way).
They can’t even see things from a different perspective. They only see the bad. It’s amazing. I try to show them and they get really mad at me so I have to just not say anything in order to not provoke an argument.
I’m teaching my boys to think in a positive manner and I believe it is really helping them.
This article is awesome.
All the best,
Eren
Eren Mckay´s last blog ..Discover these sun safety tips for summer protection
Eren
Thanks for your comments I really appreciate them. It’s amazing how switched off people are to their own feelings and even more amazing that they are not willing to accept help or listen.
Thanks for the tweet.
steven aitchison´s last blog ..How to develop true courage
this is really helpful to come out from nervous thinking and try to become a creative.
Hi, this is a great post.. To get rid of this thinking pattern needs time, we need to get accustomed to the new mindset and let it be our new habit as time goes on
Darmawan´s last blog ..Sony PS3 Slim Official Specifications
I think you bring up some excellent points about changing your thought patterns by introducing a positive one to take place of a negative one. It is so true that we can control out minds in that way–if you do it long enough, it becomes something you teach your mind and becomes habit.
There’s a reason that those extremely positive, happy, energetic people always have good things happen to them. There’s a guy I met in college who lives a truly charmed life. Opportunities present themselves to him, good things always happen to him, his luck is amazing. It took me a while to realized it’s because his attitude is so positive, he’s never down on himself, he just keeps on moving forward and smiling.
It’s true that you can shape your mind and literally become the person you want to become. There is so much negativity out there. It just takes effort–as you point out–to instill the changes necessary to change your thought patterns.
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“When you really desire something with your heart & soul, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it… – Paulo Coelho (‘The Alchemist’).”
make sure that you desire positivity and not negativity, because either way, you will succeed !!!
I’ve looked everywhere for this kind of advice on changing destructive thinking patterns. It’s brilliant. Thank you.
Hi Fiona, thankls for leaving your kind comments.
Steven Aitchison´s last blog ..Ask The Coach 4 – How to Use the Law of Attraction
Reading this list was like listening to someone describing my attitude. I think it’s time for a change! Thanks for the wakeup call
Hi Sarah, thanks for stopping by and I am glad the article helped in some way.
I like this post. I relate to this one as I have recently begun the same changes. Replace the negative with the positive.
Joshua Shear´s last blog ..How to expand readership? Our Mission
These thinking patterns are similar to those described in a recent blog post of mine regarding overcoming negative thinking. A really good source for learning to overcome these types of cognitive distortions is “Feeling Good” by Dr. David Burns, MD. He describes 10 common cognitive distortions, or destructive thinking patterns, in detail then outlines methods for overcoming them. The approach is commonly referred to as cognitive-behavioral, which works on the premise that our thought control our attitudes and moods, not the other way around.
Great post. I look forward to reading more!
Chris Akins´s last blog ..What is reality?
Another great article Steve. It help immensely that you’ve so clearly summarized each issue.
One of the things I run into, is being overwhelmed with all the things I have going on. So a concise list and recap is an easy format to follow.
In families and on the job, jumping to the ‘wrong’ conclusions due to emotion based assumptions seems to be running rampant. Giving the benefit of the doubt rarely exist.
Recognizing the error in ‘our’ thinking not blaming ‘them’ is key to change. Funny thing happens, suddenly they change!
Change your thoughts to positive ones will change your life in a profound way.
Very interesting article. I think we all have a tiny bit of each of these inside us, some more than others.
Trevor´s last blog ..Today’s Goal: No more gossip sessions
This article’s perspectives were logical, simple, and efficient. I tend to reach a place where I implement great strategies to improve my well-being and release destructive habits… then after about a month or two, I give up/find something else to do. It’s largely due to wanting everything to be perfect immediately, as well as running from the deeper wounds that are inevitably encountered when you decide to become comfortable with yourself.
When I don’t see immediate results (emotionally, physically, or otherwise), I sometimes freak out and give up on the strategy and myself, believing that I am not worthwhile or that I am broken somehow.
The truth is, it’s a conscious lifestyle change. It takes time, dedication, and consistency.
I’ve about had it with the destructive patterns. Why wade through decades of fuzzy thoughts and a victimized/frantic reality?
Just do the work.
Maybe I could start a blog
Always good advice Steve! The “Feeling Good” (by Dr.David Burns) book that Chris Adkins mentions is a really good foundational tool for taking baby steps in changing negitive thinking and thoughts. I read this book back in the 80’s and it was a life changer for sure. It is a step by step guide for analyzing your thoughts in an attempt to discount all the negative self defeating ones. It is like taking baby steps to not only changing negative thinking but understanding it as well. It would save many thousands on self help books and Anthony Robbins seminars and costs only about $15 on Amazon. I very rarely see this book referenced, but it is by far the most comprehensive and helpful out there.
Keep up the good work. Any Blog that helps is a blessing.