Overcoming depression

October 11th, 2007 • Related • Filed Under

how to beat depression

Depression is a word a lot of people run away from due to the stigma attached to it. The truth is everyone has suffered from it at one point in their lives, even if it has been for one day.

I have suffered from it in my late teens/early twenties and paradoxically the only thing that kept me sane was thinking of the different ways I could kill myself. It’s not a nice place to be in at all especially if you’re good at covering it up.

What is depression?

If you are going through a depressive period in your life just now, let me assure you it is not for life and you will get out of it. I have been there and know it can be tough to get out of the quagmire of the mind to see the light again. It can feel like being stuck in quicksand and the more you struggle the worse it gets.

Nobody truly knows what causes depression and it is one of the most common illnesses that doctors deal with.

Depression is a state of feeling low all the time for two weeks or more and some of the symptoms of depressions according to patient.co.uk can be:

Low mood for most of the day, nearly every day. Things always seem ‘black’.
Loss of enjoyment and interest in life, even for activities that you normally enjoy.
Abnormal sadness, often with weepiness.
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or uselessness.
Poor motivation. Even simple tasks seem difficult.
Poor concentration. It may be difficult to read, work, etc.
Sleeping problems:
- sometimes difficulty in getting off to sleep.
- sometimes waking early and unable to get back to sleep.
- sleeping too much sometimes occurs.
Lacking in energy, always tired.
Difficulty with affection, including going off sex.
Poor appetite and weight loss. Sometimes the reverse happens with comfort eating and weight gain.
Irritability, agitation, or restlessness.
Symptoms often seem worse first thing each day.
Physical symptoms such as headaches, palpitations, chest pains, and general aches.
Recurrent thoughts of death. This is not usually a fear of death, more a preoccupation with death and dying. Some people get suicidal ideas such as …”life’s not worth living”.

Once you recognise the symptoms it will be easier to ask for help in the future and once you have gone through it once it will be easier to deal with if it comes back again.

The situation vs the mind

I believe depression is caused by the situations you find yourself in life. It is not a disease, it can’t be caught, and there is no specific area in your body which, when removed, could alleviate the depression. The logical conclusion and speaking from my experience is that it is where you are in life that causes you to be depressed.

Take for example the person who is feeling lonely, they have a job with little contact with people, they don’t go out a lot, and tend to keep their own company. This lack of human contact can be quite distressing for some people and put them in a depressive state. Now imagine the same person gets a job where there is lots of human contact and meets lots of different people and interacts well with them, their social life improves, and they are not staring at 4 walls as much as they used to. Their depression might not completely disappear but it will be lifted and eventually disappear with a little more confidence in themselves.

Depression is caused by what you focus on and when you always focus on the dark side of life the harder it will be to life yourself out of depression. Going back to the lonely person again; if they focus on not being able to find a partner and they see happy couples everywhere in life they tend to focus on the lack of having a partner. The more you focus on the lack of having a partner the more depressed you get, it is a vicious circle.

The vicious circle

When you have hit rock bottom low it can be hard to pull yourself back up, but it can be done and it can be done easily if you let it. I am not saying the process of getting out of depression is easy but flipping the switch is easier which makes it a lot easier to get out of depression.

If you think the only way to think about life is to focus on what you have or don’t have right now you’d be wrong, totally wrong. This is what can be keeping you in this depressive state. And yes you might say; I have no money, I am £50,000 in debt, I have no partner, I am losing my house, I am losing my job. However, think about this situation for a moment. You are focusing your attention on everything you are losing and it is going round and round in your head about everything you are losing and life sucks. You might resort to medication; I would never advocate this for depression as you are running away form the underlying cause of you feeling depressed.

Overcoming depression

Overcoming depression is extremely easy. Before you say it’s not and ‘you don’t know my situation’. The truth is some people like being labelled, in fact most people label other people to make life a little simpler for themselves. Depressed people label themselves as depressed so they can say ‘I have the label of depression, therefore I will be depressed for a few weeks or a few months but I will get out of it once I feel like un-labelling myself as depressed’. That might sound harsh and I hope I am not offending anybody here however I have been where you are I have sunk to my lowest point in life and I can say it is easy to get out of depression, or rather it is easy to start the process.

Gratitude

You have life, you are living and breathing! Acknowledge this for a few moments, don’t say but, but, but! Just acknowledge that you are living and breathing. Acknowledge another good thing in your life, it might be you have a roof over your head, you have the time to read this article, you have a great partner, you have food in the fridge, just acknowledge the things you have in your life.

This can be difficult at first because that little mind of yours keeps whispering ‘yes you might have food in the fridge but you’ve nobody to share it with’ as soon as you hear the word ‘but’ in your head stop that train of thought and re-focus on what you have. With practice this will become automatic and you will start to see a change in your thinking and a life in your mood.

Visualisation

Another great way to focus on the good things in life is by using your imagination and replaying all your good memories you have in life. Just get time to yourself, close you eyes and find one great happy memory you have and let that lead you to other happy memories. If you feel the sad memories creeping in, just go back and re-focus on the happy memories. Again this can be difficult to begin with but it will get easier.

Another useful way to focus on the good things is to imagine what it will be like in your future. You imagine yourself as the person you want to be in life, you imagine the things you want in life don’t even concern yourself with the tools to get these things just let your imagination go and imagine your ideal future. The more you do this the easier it will become. Don’t let the mind monster steer you away from the good and happy thoughts just keep going back and remember you control your mind, your mind does not control you.

Too simplistic!

Life is simple, it’s the labels we attach to life that are complicated.

Don’t let this simple process put you off trying this, you will find most solutions to problems are simple and so it is with depression.

The reason this works, and I do know from experience, is that it is directing your attention away from the perceived negative situations in your life. The less time you spend in the negative, the less you will feel depressed.

Once you have reached the state of feeling good again it’s time to deal with the circumstances which made you feel depressed in the first place. Due to you feeling good it will be easier to deal with the situations at hand and they will not become as hard as it was.

Looking at your situation logically

When you start to look at all the situations which was making you feel down, look at it from another’s eyes. Imagine your situation is your friends situation and you are advising your friend what to do.

For example

If you are in £50,000 worth of debt you will begin to focus on the solution of getting out of the debt or going bankrupt and starting all over. Going bankrupt is not that big a deal and can be a huge relief, I know it was for me, and it taught me a huge lesson in life.

What’s the worst that can happen?

I always ask myself one question whenever I start to panic about a situation: ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’

If you truly find the worst case scenario then work with your problem from that angle you will find things are not as bad as you first imagined.

Living your life again

I hope I have not offended you, or belittled your current situation as this was not my intention when writing this article. My intention is to help you help yourself. I can give you a few tools to change your life but you have to be willing to use the tools.

I hope you do use the tools and hope you change your current state to one of loving life.

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Pingback by University Update - Yahoo - Overcoming depression on 11 October 2007:

[...] YouTube Overcoming depression » This Summary is from an article posted at Change your thoughts on Thursday, October 11, 2007 [ how to beat depression] Depression is a word a lot of people run away from due to the stigma attached to it. The truth is everyone has suffered from it at one point in their lives, even if it has been for one day. I have suffered from it in my late teens/early twenties and paradoxically the only thing that kept me sane was thinking Summary Provided by Technorati.comView Original Article at Change your thoughts » 10 Most Recent News Articles About Yahoo [...]

Comment by Mimi Lenox on 12 October 2007:

Gratitude and visualization are great tools. I use them daily and have learned that will remedy anything. Great post!

Comment by Steven Aitchison on 12 October 2007:

Thanks Mimi, I find them the best tools to conquer almost any doubt we have in life and can be a great way to increase our chances for success in life. I appreciate your comments.

Comment by Suzann on 12 October 2007:

I too have found visualization to be an extremely powerful tool. And gratitude, as you said. This is a wonderful Blog, full of life-saving information. Thanks for putting it out there.

Comment by E on 13 October 2007:

Hai Steven,

thanks for this post! It’s uplifiting and realistic at the same time. I’m right now at that process of struggling myself out of this shit.. I’m recognising which thoughts are negative, and are keeping me in this state of mind. Indeed, focusing on what I do have, and recognising which thoughts are worsening this, does help a lot!

The one thing I’m wondering about, is whether this whole ‘depression’ label doesn’t worsen things by itself.. I noticed that when I was feeling utterly hopeless and sad I sometimes had the tendency to think ‘O my God, you see, that’s part of The Depression, where people say it will take at least months’.
Whereas, I’m now thinking: okay, feeling bad for a moment, what can I do about it. What caused it, and it will surely pass soon….

thanks for this post, for me it’s another step in the positive direction!!

Comment by Steven Aitchison on 13 October 2007:

Hi Suzann, Thanks for your comments about this post and the blogI appreciate it a lot.

Hi E. The truth is nobody can tell how long your depression will last. You’re absolutely right about the label of depression that’s what i meant when i said:

‘Life is simple, it’s the labels we attach to life that are complicated.’

When we label an illness we automatically assign a timeline to it, this is our mistake.

You might find that your negative thoughts dominated your positive thoughts, you will soon see a turning of the tide whereby your positive thoughts will start to dominate your negative thoughts, and then you will be back to your positive state.

I hope the postive’s come back soon.

Comment by Quint on 13 October 2007:

Thanks for taking the time to look at depression. Your prescription for overcoming depression has some valuable ideas, but I think your understanding of this disease is lacking.

First of all, there are different types of depression. You can have situational depression, as you describe, because of your life circumstances. There is also chronic depression, and something called “double depression”.

Chronic depression is classified as a disease because it is characterized by imbalances in important neurochemicals. Double depression is chronic depression compounded by a major depressive episode - possibly situational. When the chemical imbalance is treated, the underlying depression is mitigated or eliminated.

I also take issue with your assertion that people with depression like the “label” and use it as a crutch. I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself. I have hated every minute of dealing with depression. The stigma, the judgements of others, and my own internal struggles were overwhelming. I would have traded any “sympathy” for a day of peace. I recently decided to use medication again, and now that I have dealt with the chronic depression, I am able to use the tools you discuss in this article to build a different kind of life.

I think your article does a disservice to people with severe depression who would benefit from counseling and/or medication. The advice is great, the underlying assumptions are flawed.

Comment by Carol L. Skolnick on 18 October 2007:

I was depressed for most of my life; a combination of medication, therapy, diet and exercise took the edge off, at best. Meds helped, but there were side effects. Visualizaition, meditation, affirmations, etc. never did much for me; I was too depressed to believe in them. I was told my problem was biochemical as well as situational, and that I’d have to see doctors for the rest of my lfie.

When I learned Byron Katie’s process of self-inquiry, called The Work, within one year I said goodbye to my therapist, with his blessings, and to St John’s Wort. It’s not that I never experienced depression again, but I am no longer “a depressive.” When the black dog arrives at my door, I am able to befriend it, to meet it with understanding.

Many therapists and counselors are now using The Work of Byron Katie as part of their treatment plans. It is being used with great success at the VA hospital in West Virginia with addicts and those with PTSD.

Note that I began using The Work in conjunction with traditional mental health care. I would never advocate going off meds or quitting therapy. Inquiry will meet whatever else you are doing and enhance it. This was my experience.

I write in depth about my experience at my website, http://www.clearlifesolutions.com, and on my blog, http://soulsurgery.blogspot.com. To learn more about The Work of Byron Katie, visit http://www.thework.com

Comment by Joe on 24 October 2007:

“You might resort to medication; I would never advocate this for depression as you are running away form the underlying cause of you feeling depressed.”

What is your MEDICAL background that you can give such asinine advise?? I wish you lived in the US so I could stop taking my meds, do something stupid, and then sue your dumb ass for telling me that taking meds is just “running away from the underlying cause of my feeling depressed” and wanting to confront it.
You are not a doctor, you’re a loser “life coach”, get a REAL job and DO NOT GIVE DAMN MEDICAL ADVISE

Also, “I believe depression is caused by the situations you find yourself in life. It is not a disease, it can’t be caught, and there is no specific area in your body which, when removed, could alleviate the depression. ”
Again, you are wrong because you have no medical background!!! First off, the medical community has not decided if it is a disease or not the debate continues!
Secondly, your logic is horribly flawed. Can you catch cancer? No, is there and area of the body that which, when removed, could alleviate the cancer? Depends! Heart/Lung disease, can it be caught? No, can’t exactly cut them out but there are TREATMENTS.

Comment by Steven Aitchison on 24 October 2007:

Hi Everyone, thanks for your comments. To the people who have misread this please read again as this article is about mild depression and no other kind of depression. Please read again, properly, before making any comments.

Thanks you to everyone else for your comments I appreciate you taking time to read this and comment.

Comment by Ravi Vora on 24 October 2007:

I have found just being able to get out of your own head by reading or enjoying your company can lead to happiness much faster than trying to attack the problem. Once you’re happier you can take the depression on by reminding yourself of the times that make you happy.

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Comment by driden on 9 December 2007:

thanks for this article, im 20, and im not going through best months/years…. reading this helped me a lot, i was having a terrible day and it was nice to know im not the only one, and that someone went through my same experience…. im currently on meds and therapy which are helping a lot too, getting all the help you can is always a good advice to give though =)
thanks again

Comment by Gregg on 14 January 2008:

I found the article to be as helpful to my depression as my sister’s comments ” just pick a day to be happy and then just be happy”…Depression is all about emotions and not at all about thoughts..ergo we cant just WILL ourselves better, you actually have to FEEL better and it has to come from within…I have found that my depression comes on its own and leaves on its own despite the environment/circumstances I am in..my only consolation is that I know that for some reason it doesnt last for more than three or four months at a time. However, if anyone’s condition is alleviated by this article, I am happy for you.