Author: Steven Aitchison (382 Articles)
The owner of this blog. Proud father, doting husband, blogger, hire me as freelance writer, and addiction worker
Depression is a word a lot of people run away from due to the stigma attached to it. The truth is everyone has suffered from it at one point in their lives, even if it has been for one day.
I have suffered from it in my late teens/early twenties and paradoxically the only thing that kept me sane was thinking of the different ways I could kill myself. It’s not a nice place to be in at all especially if you’re good at covering it up.
What is depression?
If you are going through a depressive period in your life just now, let me assure you it is not for life and you will get out of it. I have been there and know it can be tough to get out of the quagmire of the mind to see the light again. It can feel like being stuck in quicksand and the more you struggle the worse it gets.
Nobody truly knows what causes depression and it is one of the most common illnesses that doctors deal with.
Depression is a state of feeling low all the time for two weeks or more and some of the symptoms of depressions according to patient.co.uk can be:
- Low mood for most of the day, nearly every day. Things always seem ‘black’.
- Loss of enjoyment and interest in life, even for activities that you normally enjoy.
- Abnormal sadness, often with weepiness.
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or uselessness.
- Poor motivation. Even simple tasks seem difficult.
- Poor concentration. It may be difficult to read, work, etc.
- Sleeping problems:
- sometimes difficulty in getting off to sleep.
- sometimes waking early and unable to get back to sleep.
- sleeping too much sometimes occurs.
- Lacking in energy, always tired.
- Difficulty with affection, including going off sex.
- Poor appetite and weight loss. Sometimes the reverse happens with comfort eating and weight gain.
- Irritability, agitation, or restlessness.
- Symptoms often seem worse first thing each day.
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, palpitations, chest pains, and general aches.
- Recurrent thoughts of death. This is not usually a fear of death, more a preoccupation with death and dying. Some people get suicidal ideas such as …”life’s not worth living”.
Once you recognise the symptoms it will be easier to ask for help in the future and once you have gone through it once it will be easier to deal with if it comes back again.
The situation vs the mind
I believe depression is caused by the situations you find yourself in life. It is not a disease, it can’t be caught, and there is no specific area in your body which, when removed, could alleviate the depression. The logical conclusion and speaking from my experience is that it is where you are in life that causes you to be depressed.
Take for example the person who is feeling lonely, they have a job with little contact with people, they don’t go out a lot, and tend to keep their own company. This lack of human contact can be quite distressing for some people and put them in a depressive state. Now imagine the same person gets a job where there is lots of human contact and meets lots of different people and interacts well with them, their social life improves, and they are not staring at 4 walls as much as they used to. Their depression might not completely disappear but it will be lifted and eventually disappear with a little more confidence in themselves.
Depression is caused by what you focus on and when you always focus on the dark side of life the harder it will be to life yourself out of depression. Going back to the lonely person again; if they focus on not being able to find a partner and they see happy couples everywhere in life they tend to focus on the lack of having a partner. The more you focus on the lack of having a partner the more depressed you get, it is a vicious circle.
The vicious circle
When you have hit rock bottom low it can be hard to pull yourself back up, but it can be done and it can be done easily if you let it. I am not saying the process of getting out of depression is easy but flipping the switch is easier which makes it a lot easier to get out of depression.
If you think the only way to think about life is to focus on what you have or don’t have right now you’d be wrong, totally wrong. This is what can be keeping you in this depressive state. And yes you might say; I have no money, I am £50,000 in debt, I have no partner, I am losing my house, I am losing my job. However, think about this situation for a moment. You are focusing your attention on everything you are losing and it is going round and round in your head about everything you are losing and life sucks. You might resort to medication; I would never advocate this for depression as you are running away form the underlying cause of you feeling depressed.
Overcoming depression
Overcoming depression is extremely easy. Before you say it’s not and ‘you don’t know my situation’. The truth is some people like being labelled, in fact most people label other people to make life a little simpler for themselves. Depressed people label themselves as depressed so they can say ‘I have the label of depression, therefore I will be depressed for a few weeks or a few months but I will get out of it once I feel like un-labelling myself as depressed’. That might sound harsh and I hope I am not offending anybody here however I have been where you are I have sunk to my lowest point in life and I can say it is easy to get out of depression, or rather it is easy to start the process.
Gratitude
You have life, you are living and breathing! Acknowledge this for a few moments, don’t say but, but, but! Just acknowledge that you are living and breathing. Acknowledge another good thing in your life, it might be you have a roof over your head, you have the time to read this article, you have a great partner, you have food in the fridge, just acknowledge the things you have in your life.
This can be difficult at first because that little mind of yours keeps whispering ‘yes you might have food in the fridge but you’ve nobody to share it with’ as soon as you hear the word ‘but’ in your head stop that train of thought and re-focus on what you have. With practice this will become automatic and you will start to see a change in your thinking and a life in your mood.
Visualisation
Another great way to focus on the good things in life is by using your imagination and replaying all your good memories you have in life. Just get time to yourself, close you eyes and find one great happy memory you have and let that lead you to other happy memories. If you feel the sad memories creeping in, just go back and re-focus on the happy memories. Again this can be difficult to begin with but it will get easier.
Another useful way to focus on the good things is to imagine what it will be like in your future. You imagine yourself as the person you want to be in life, you imagine the things you want in life don’t even concern yourself with the tools to get these things just let your imagination go and imagine your ideal future. The more you do this the easier it will become. Don’t let the mind monster steer you away from the good and happy thoughts just keep going back and remember you control your mind, your mind does not control you.
Too simplistic!
Life is simple, it’s the labels we attach to life that are complicated.
Don’t let this simple process put you off trying this, you will find most solutions to problems are simple and so it is with depression.
The reason this works, and I do know from experience, is that it is directing your attention away from the perceived negative situations in your life. The less time you spend in the negative, the less you will feel depressed.
Once you have reached the state of feeling good again it’s time to deal with the circumstances which made you feel depressed in the first place. Due to you feeling good it will be easier to deal with the situations at hand and they will not become as hard as it was.
Looking at your situation logically
When you start to look at all the situations which was making you feel down, look at it from another’s eyes. Imagine your situation is your friends situation and you are advising your friend what to do.
For example
If you are in £50,000 worth of debt you will begin to focus on the solution of getting out of the debt or going bankrupt and starting all over. Going bankrupt is not that big a deal and can be a huge relief, I know it was for me, and it taught me a huge lesson in life.
What’s the worst that can happen?
I always ask myself one question whenever I start to panic about a situation: ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’
If you truly find the worst case scenario then work with your problem from that angle you will find things are not as bad as you first imagined.
Living your life again
I hope I have not offended you, or belittled your current situation as this was not my intention when writing this article. My intention is to help you help yourself. I can give you a few tools to change your life but you have to be willing to use the tools.
I hope you do use the tools and hope you change your current state to one of loving life.
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Gratitude and visualization are great tools. I use them daily and have learned that will remedy anything. Great post!
Thanks Mimi, I find them the best tools to conquer almost any doubt we have in life and can be a great way to increase our chances for success in life. I appreciate your comments.
I too have found visualization to be an extremely powerful tool. And gratitude, as you said. This is a wonderful Blog, full of life-saving information. Thanks for putting it out there.
Hai Steven,
thanks for this post! It’s uplifiting and realistic at the same time. I’m right now at that process of struggling myself out of this shit.. I’m recognising which thoughts are negative, and are keeping me in this state of mind. Indeed, focusing on what I do have, and recognising which thoughts are worsening this, does help a lot!
The one thing I’m wondering about, is whether this whole ‘depression’ label doesn’t worsen things by itself.. I noticed that when I was feeling utterly hopeless and sad I sometimes had the tendency to think ‘O my God, you see, that’s part of The Depression, where people say it will take at least months’.
Whereas, I’m now thinking: okay, feeling bad for a moment, what can I do about it. What caused it, and it will surely pass soon….
thanks for this post, for me it’s another step in the positive direction!!
Hi Suzann, Thanks for your comments about this post and the blogI appreciate it a lot.
Hi E. The truth is nobody can tell how long your depression will last. You’re absolutely right about the label of depression that’s what i meant when i said:
‘Life is simple, it’s the labels we attach to life that are complicated.’
When we label an illness we automatically assign a timeline to it, this is our mistake.
You might find that your negative thoughts dominated your positive thoughts, you will soon see a turning of the tide whereby your positive thoughts will start to dominate your negative thoughts, and then you will be back to your positive state.
I hope the postive’s come back soon.
Thanks for taking the time to look at depression. Your prescription for overcoming depression has some valuable ideas, but I think your understanding of this disease is lacking.
First of all, there are different types of depression. You can have situational depression, as you describe, because of your life circumstances. There is also chronic depression, and something called “double depression”.
Chronic depression is classified as a disease because it is characterized by imbalances in important neurochemicals. Double depression is chronic depression compounded by a major depressive episode – possibly situational. When the chemical imbalance is treated, the underlying depression is mitigated or eliminated.
I also take issue with your assertion that people with depression like the “label” and use it as a crutch. I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself. I have hated every minute of dealing with depression. The stigma, the judgements of others, and my own internal struggles were overwhelming. I would have traded any “sympathy” for a day of peace. I recently decided to use medication again, and now that I have dealt with the chronic depression, I am able to use the tools you discuss in this article to build a different kind of life.
I think your article does a disservice to people with severe depression who would benefit from counseling and/or medication. The advice is great, the underlying assumptions are flawed.
I was depressed for most of my life; a combination of medication, therapy, diet and exercise took the edge off, at best. Meds helped, but there were side effects. Visualizaition, meditation, affirmations, etc. never did much for me; I was too depressed to believe in them. I was told my problem was biochemical as well as situational, and that I’d have to see doctors for the rest of my lfie.
When I learned Byron Katie’s process of self-inquiry, called The Work, within one year I said goodbye to my therapist, with his blessings, and to St John’s Wort. It’s not that I never experienced depression again, but I am no longer “a depressive.” When the black dog arrives at my door, I am able to befriend it, to meet it with understanding.
Many therapists and counselors are now using The Work of Byron Katie as part of their treatment plans. It is being used with great success at the VA hospital in West Virginia with addicts and those with PTSD.
Note that I began using The Work in conjunction with traditional mental health care. I would never advocate going off meds or quitting therapy. Inquiry will meet whatever else you are doing and enhance it. This was my experience.
I write in depth about my experience at my website, http://www.clearlifesolutions.com, and on my blog, http://soulsurgery.blogspot.com. To learn more about The Work of Byron Katie, visit http://www.thework.com
“You might resort to medication; I would never advocate this for depression as you are running away form the underlying cause of you feeling depressed.”
What is your MEDICAL background that you can give such asinine advise?? I wish you lived in the US so I could stop taking my meds, do something stupid, and then sue your dumb ass for telling me that taking meds is just “running away from the underlying cause of my feeling depressed” and wanting to confront it.
You are not a doctor, you’re a loser “life coach”, get a REAL job and DO NOT GIVE DAMN MEDICAL ADVISE
Also, “I believe depression is caused by the situations you find yourself in life. It is not a disease, it can’t be caught, and there is no specific area in your body which, when removed, could alleviate the depression. ”
Again, you are wrong because you have no medical background!!! First off, the medical community has not decided if it is a disease or not the debate continues!
Secondly, your logic is horribly flawed. Can you catch cancer? No, is there and area of the body that which, when removed, could alleviate the cancer? Depends! Heart/Lung disease, can it be caught? No, can’t exactly cut them out but there are TREATMENTS.
Hi Everyone, thanks for your comments. To the people who have misread this please read again as this article is about mild depression and no other kind of depression. Please read again, properly, before making any comments.
Thanks you to everyone else for your comments I appreciate you taking time to read this and comment.
I have found just being able to get out of your own head by reading or enjoying your company can lead to happiness much faster than trying to attack the problem. Once you’re happier you can take the depression on by reminding yourself of the times that make you happy.
thanks for this article, im 20, and im not going through best months/years…. reading this helped me a lot, i was having a terrible day and it was nice to know im not the only one, and that someone went through my same experience…. im currently on meds and therapy which are helping a lot too, getting all the help you can is always a good advice to give though =)
thanks again
I found the article to be as helpful to my depression as my sister’s comments ” just pick a day to be happy and then just be happy”…Depression is all about emotions and not at all about thoughts..ergo we cant just WILL ourselves better, you actually have to FEEL better and it has to come from within…I have found that my depression comes on its own and leaves on its own despite the environment/circumstances I am in..my only consolation is that I know that for some reason it doesnt last for more than three or four months at a time. However, if anyone’s condition is alleviated by this article, I am happy for you.
hello every one, and thanks to steven, its really nice ideas.
fredi
To the writer of the article:
You clearly have never had depression and do not have the faintest idea of what it is like to live with it. You present ideas that are overly simplistic. Overcoming depression is anything but easy, and depressed individuals do not label themselves as such as some sort of excuse to feel sorry for themselves.
It’s very easy for a healthy person to suggest a “snap out of it, you have so much to live for” type of attitutde adjustment for a depression sufferer to adopt. This, however, is a complete impossibility. The pain experienced by a depressed individual cannot be put into words. Ask anyone who has suffered an episode of depression about falling asleep at 2 am only to awake at 5 am – and then to spend their entire morning ruminating about their own worthlessness and the absurdity of life – Or not being able to eat…having the feeling of a tight knot in your stomach that never leaves, where the scent of your favorite foods make you sick. If you haven’t been through this, it’s probably not a good idea to dispense advice for it.
People suffering from depression need to seek help. Medications are beneficial, but I have found that the best approach usually comes in the form of a combination of medicine and cognitive behavioral therapy. Depression sufferers will benefit from therapy sessions, as a well trained therapist will teach the sufferer techniques to cope and “retrain” ways of thinking. This is the only way I know of that can truly attempt to break the patterns of negative thoughts and alleviate the feelings of helplessness that a depressed person has.
Furthermore, anyone who has suffered from depression will tell you that it’s cyclical. It’s rarely cured, but rather abates with time. Depressive episodes can reemerge during times of stress and hardship. This is where cognitive therapy proves more effective than taking medicine alone, as the techniques learned will allow a depressed person to recognize their symptoms before things spiral out of control again.
I mean no disrespect to the writer of this article, as I’m sure they had the best of intentions when they wrote it. However, it’s clearly a list of suggestions rather than professional medical advice. Anyone reading this post who is experiencing any type of mood disorder should get help from a medical professional right away. Depression is a serious condition – not just feeling blue or down in the dumps. It cannot be alleviated by simply looking on the bright side.
Hi Jon
You obviously have not been a reader of the blog or have read the article fully, if you had been you would know I have suffered from depression and know exactly what I am talking about.
I totally understand where you are coming from and it can be hard overcoming depression, what I am saying in this article is that it is easy to start the process of overcoming depression, ultimately making it easier to overcome depression.
Of course everyone should seek medical advice if they feel they are severely depressed, but it’s not always the answer.
I am so depressed. I can’t stand it.
im 20 and have just had an awful few weeks, resulting in today, one of the worst days of my life so far. out of all the websites i have visited for help this one calmed me down the most and really made me think rationally about whatever it is thats affecting me.. whether that be depression or not. thanks alot steven, you have really helped me through a dark time in my life.
all those on this site that have criticized steven should feel guilty, im sure there are many young people feeling similar to me who have read this post and been helped by it.
cheers again.
Sometimes depressed people do not know HOW to think about happy times or recognize that they are in a hole until it seems almost impossible to get out. Any depressed person that is searching the ‘net to find out how to overcome it, may possibly find this page useful. I’m currently overcoming it, but it has been hard and I had to face alot of truths, throw them over the fence and remember what it is I am truly thankful for. I’m not a religious nut, but did start going to church about 4 months ago and I believe this has helped. The power of prayer is amazing. I never would have thought I would be on my way back to normalcy and off my meds!
Great article. I hope I could be that good as you are when writing like this article. That’s the reason why we are depressed! Now I could go no longer anymore in the depression state!
I’ve suffered from chronic depression for years. If I get off my medication I immediately feel lethargic, tearful and sad. Nothing in my life has changed just chemistry.
I cannot believe some of the ignorant responses people have posted.
First off, no where in the article did the author say not to take medication. He simply stated he wouldn’t advise it and I would agree. Anti-depressants merely mask the symptoms of depression. They fix nothing and often lead to dependency in favor of lapsing into further depression. The underlying cause is not altered/cured/fixed.
I also agree that labeling yourself as a depressive is a crutch. In the sense that telling yourself you have a disease that you have no control over abdicates you of any responsibility to fix it. It’s not your fault, just take some pills and it will go away. You will only begin to get better when you realize your fixation on negative thinking patterns has gotten you here and adopting a predominantly pessimistic outlook has got you stuck in a perpetual state of depression.
Lastly, I would agree that recalling happy memories and visualization are good tools to help overcome depression, as long as they are not over-used. If you linger to long in the fantasy world of the past or the future (whether it is negative or positive) you will miss out on the reality and joy of the present. Which I have found is the real key (for myself anyway) to overcoming depression. Staying in the here and now and not projecting worries from the past on fears from the future. Neither of which can hurt us. All we have is this moment, nothing more, nothing less. And there in lies the meaning of life.
For anyone dealing with depression I strongly suggest you read “The Wisdom of Insecurity” By Alan W. Watts. It has helped me greatly.
There is no better authority on depression than those who have experienced it. People with depression are stumbling around in the dark trying to find a way out, while academics are stumbling around in the dark trying to find an explanation.
The easiest answer that anyone has ever come across is MEDICATION.
But the easiest way is not always the best way.
I was on medication for depression and the very best that it offered was: I wasn’t entirely thinking of topping myself for the whole time.
Treating depression shouldn’t be about finding an acceptable level of misery.
Yeah yeah, we have all heard the science; endorphins, serotonin etc blah blah blah…knowing that doesn’t help the situation.
I’t easy to criticise Steven and say “I think your understanding of this disease is lacking”, but the simple truth is, EVERYONE’S understanding of this CONDITION is lacking.
Steven has been accused of being “Simplistic”. I personally believe that being simplistic is the route to solving a problem.
If we over analyse and over-complicate matters, we don’t have a hope of finding a solution.
But, whether you agree or not, there are those people out there who use thier depression as a tool.
“I can’t interact with people – I’m depressed!” “I can’t get a job – I’m depressed!” “I’m artistic – I’m depressed!”
Some people believe there is a degree of kudos with the condition. “Oh, I’m more depressed than you…..high-five!”
These people invariably mistake angst for depression. I know without fear of contradiction that depression is a will-sapping level of unbearable emptiness and desperation. And medication IS NOT the answer when it comes to ridding yourself of it, but it does alleviate the symptoms.
The usage of medication should always only ever be a very short term solution and not become a crutch.
In the past, I have been prescribed Seroxat, Venlafaxine, Respirodone, plus many more that I can not remember. And the best that I can say about them is: Two of them made me want to jump from a very tall building.
Today, I am free of medication. I have ups and downs, but I don’t need that one before bed and one in the morning anymore.
Thankfully, I have a GP who understands the power of our own mind and he agrees that medication should only be a short term solution.
We all possess the ability to fight with passion those things that attempt to invade, and we must treat our minds with that same level of security. Be your own bodyguard, pills aren’t strong enough to defend you against yourself!
I’ll share with you what helped me: It started with a half-hour walk in the sunshine – then I ran – and then I ran some more, and I began to meet people and I began to absolutely love the world around me, and I still do. And all those unpleasant things that try to overpower me, they are not strong enough.
So, either take Steven’s advice or don’t. Ultimately, there is only ONE solitary person on this planet that can help you!
Correct overcoming depression really need great help and this ideas are presented greatly with nice concept and presentation.
I’ve been going through a cycle of depressive & negative thoughts for around one and a half months. I am an auditor. It began with too much work at he office. Then I had study leave but couldn’t go because I had to work for half of it. By the time I got to leave the office I was feeling so depressed & hopeless.
I felt like the work was not worth it in the long run. Then I felt like I will always be stuck in my job since I’m yet to finish my professional exams.
I began to loose alot of sleep. Sometimes I’d go a whole night without any sleep. The following day I’d be too tired to read. So the sleeplessness also became a worry.
I am a committed Christian, a Church leader & I get angry at God and myself because sometimes I feel like my religion has been powerless to help me.
I have a dear loving wife (who is studying COunselling Psychology). She has been really understanding and helpful.
What has help me alot is journalling and speaking & thinking positively. The depression comes in waves & there are times when I get extremely negative thoughts of death & suicide. There are also moments when I’ve felt hopeful & happy.
Visualisation also helps. One night I watched our wedding DVD and felt so good & slept well.
I am still fighting this depression.
I do not want to die. I feel like my life has stagnated & I want ot move on.
I should find a good doctor and begin regular therapy sessions.
First I just want to say that I think your article would be more credible if you did a quick spell/grammar check. Second, suggesting to people that they should not take medication when they are depressed can have some serious consequences. For example, if someone thought that your ideas will work and their medication won’t, and stopped the meds without tapering, then they could get suicidal or much more depressed.
I understand you have some very good ideas of positive thinking, but you speak as though you have some authority in the field as if you are an expert. This may cause some people with clinical depression, or Bipolar depression, to feel as though if your solution won’t work, then nothing will.
Bipolar depression is biochemical and needs to be managed with medication. I think you should add some more at the end of the article urging others to be careful when they make decisions and speak to their doctors first about their illness. Depression is an illness, and just so you know, I hate being labeled. I wish I could never tell anyone what was wrong, and I wish I was able to feel better as easily as you say I can. That is why I isolate when I am depressed, because I don’t want people to know.
~MJ
Cant get myself out of this one.
Just going down and down.
Turned down a job that I really wanted (long story) and cant forgive myself for being such an idot. Cant move on and everything seems hopeless.
Isolating and drinking every night.