About Mike Reeves-McMillanDr Herbert Benson is a well-known name in the mind-body field. For over 30 years, this respected Harvard Medical School professor has been working on mental techniques to improve physical health, and contributing his findings to scientific journals.
His belief – and it’s one that’s more and more widely shared – is that a lot of physical imbalances that lead to disease can be traced back to mental stress. The clever part is that he has a way of reversing the mental and physical stress which, he’s repeatedly shown, helps with the disease – with symptoms like cardiac problems, headache, hypertension (high blood pressure), irritable bowel syndrome, insomnia and pain.
You don’t have to be sick to benefit from this practice, of course. Anyone who’s dealing with stressful circumstances on a daily or near-daily basis – which would be most of us – will find it an easy way to quickly power down.
Here’s my version of Dr Benson’s “Relaxation Response” practice, in 10 simple steps that can improve your health and wellbeing in just 10 minutes a day. (Experienced meditators will probably find them familiar.)
1. Pick a focus. The easiest focus to use is a word or a short phrase. It doesn’t particularly matter what it is as long as it’s short and has positive associations for you. You could use “peace” or “calm” if you wanted.
2. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed, and sit in a position that will be comfortable to sit in for a little while.
3. Set a timer for 10-20 minutes. Most cellphones have one these days.
4. Close your eyes.
5. Relax your muscles. Start with the muscles of your face, since you’ve already relaxed the muscles around your eyes. Allow any tension just to leak out as you progressively relax your face, scalp, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest and upper back, stomach and lower back, hips, thighs, knees, calves and shins, ankles and feet. Take your time on this step, and if you find particular tension in any area, just touch it gently with your mind, give it permission to relax and move on.
6. Start a series of slow, deep breaths. As you breathe out each time, say your focus word to yourself.
7. As thoughts and feelings rise, let them come and let them go. Return to your word.
8. Your mind will wander off. When you notice that your mind has wandered, gently bring yourself back to focussing on your word on each outbreath.
9. Let your thoughts return for a minute or so after the timer goes off, then open your eyes.
10. Move a little to get yourself back in your body. I lift my feet up and put them down again, and rub my face with my hands. Find something that works for you.
What happens when you go through this exercise?
Your body, if it’s been geared up for fighting or fleeing by the stressful circumstances of modern life, switches itself back into what should be its normal mode – the mode where maintenance and digestion and all those other useful internal processes happen, and where your blood isn’t full of stress chemicals threatening to block your arteries. This is the “relaxation response”.
There are three benefits of relaxing as a deliberate daily practice. Firstly, you’re not leaving relaxation to chance and hoping that it happens (it might not). Secondly, you’re cultivating an internal pattern, and a capability, of being able to let go of distracting thoughts and feelings which would take you back into stress. And thirdly, just as your stress has built up over a long period, it needs to be released over a long period, by consistent practice.
Yet it’s only 10 minutes a day – an investment that will be repaid many times over in increased energy, vitality, resilience and health.
What other benefits do you think you might get from a practice like this? Tell us in the comments.
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Hi Mike
Welcome to CYT and thanks for providing such a useful article and relaxation technique.
The thing I like about this technique is it’s simplicity, I practice something similar in the mornings for 15 minutes and know it works.
Thanks again Mike, I know the readers will give you a warm welcome with this article.
Thanks, Steven, for the opportunity and your kind words.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..The Paramount Pictures Technique for Crushing Fear like a Beer Can
I appreciate your approach to stress being a simple one! Herbert Benson’s work was a landmark indeed. The three benefits of stress that you highlight can’t be emphasized enough. With repetition, simple exercises like the one your outline can actually rewire our neurological system, making for a happier and healthier life all around. Thanks for the excellent article.
Sandra Lee recently posted..Sunday reflection- the dreamlike qualities of life
Thanks, Sandra. I always think simple is best, particularly for this kind of thing. And you’re absolutely correct about the rewiring. I often tell people, “What you pay attention to changes the state of your brain. What you pay attention to consistently changes the shape of your brain.”
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..How to Come Out of Your Trance
Hi Mike and Steve,
Like Sandra Lee said, I like the simplicity of this. We can often feel that relaxation or meditation has to be very complex. For some people and situations this probably is wonderful and may work best, but for me the simpler the better.
If I have to think really hard to do it, it only stresses me further. So I love that you have confirmed for me that simple works just as well. It helped me feel I am on the right track. Lately I’ve been over worked and often stressed, so I don’t want my meditation to be just another chore. It has to be VERY simple. I love the idea of just one simple word or phrase. That seems so soothing.
although, I’ve done some of these things separately, never in this order, together like this. I love it! I rarely print things out, but this one I did. Thank you Mike and Steve. I think I am going to make this part of my daily practice, maybe more than once a day.
Gratitude to you both,
Robin
Robin Easton recently posted..Nature Contest – Results
Glad to have been of help, and very glad to hear that you’re planning to make it a daily practice. I think from memory Herbert Benson recommends before breakfast and before dinner as good times to practice this, though personally I prefer just after I wake up and just before I go to sleep.
(I used to be a technical writer, and I learned that the best process is one that gets implemented, and the best way to get something implemented is to make it clear and simple.)
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..7 Steps to Help You Take Confident Action
Dear Mike & Steve,
A lovely simple way to de-stress – how good is that!
I have a meditation tape that I often play when I lay down for the evening. It leads me through progressive relaxation – as you suggest. I have had many peak experiences with this simple meditation tape.
We tend to become so busy and it’s really valuable to have a way of quieting the mind and relaxing the body.
Thanks for a great post!
Lauren
A recording can be a great help with something like this – I’d encourage anyone who finds it helpful to either make their own recording or to use the one I created (Relaxation Response Practice recording). I think from memory the steps in that recording are very slightly different, as I made it a while ago, but it’s the same basic exercise.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..The Paramount Pictures Technique for Crushing Fear like a Beer Can
That is a great practice, I have done that several times when stressed. I initially learned about it in a high school health class and then later again in my psychology training in college. It is really very helpful!
I am also a firm believer in stress effecting the bodily health. There have been plenty of times in my life when I allowed the stress around me to take over my emotional state. Nearly every time I would end up sick, once I made the connection I made the decision to focus on not letting others stress me out for the sake of my own health and it really made a difference as I saw myself getting sick significantly less.
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With me it’s mouth ulcers. Whenever I get one, I consider it an early warning that my stress is mounting. Being conscious of our body’s signals is essential.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..The Paramount Pictures Technique for Crushing Fear like a Beer Can
Great article Mike. I haven’t used techniques such as this before, but I’ll definitely give it a try
When it comes to stress, what I try to do is not worry about it
What I mean is that I make an appointment with myself at a specific time during the day to spend time stressing. I literally block off 15 minutes of my time and stress, stress and stress. I force myself to stress about the situation without looking for any solutions or answers (which is rather painful). However, once the 15 minutes is up I move onto something else.
What this “stress time” has a tendency to do is prove to me how silly and wasteful stressing actually is. The more often I do this, the more I realize that there is no need stressing because it never helps solve the problem. And if things are out of my control, than what’s the point of stressing anyway?
At first that sounded like a strange approach – until I thought about Milton Erickson’s “prescribing the symptom”. It’s a great way to demonstrate to yourself that the symptom isn’t achieving anything. Well done!
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..How to Form an Alliance With Yourself
Hi Mike and Steve,
After reading, I tried this exercise the first time. I find that my mind is clearer and more focus than before! I’ll make this wonderful exercise a routine. I love it firstly it works for me and secondly it’s simple.
Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Alex. “It works and it’s simple” – those are my favourite two features as well.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..The Paramount Pictures Technique for Crushing Fear like a Beer Can
Step-for-step, this is the essence of Transcendental Meditation.
I remember my instructor’s words about not stopping the thoughts that spring into one’s mind.
“What happens when bubbles form at the bottom of a fish tank?” he asked.
” They rise to the top… and as they rise, a few of them attach to each other forming bigger bubbles… and what happens when it reaches the surface? It bursts… let your thoughts emerge from deep within… examine them and let them go… let them burst like the bubbles do when they reach the surface.”
I think – in fact, I’m sure – that Herbert Benson took the basics of his approach from some meditation tradition. The version I use, which is in this post, is reasonably close to my own meditation tradition of Centering Prayer.
That bubbles image is a good one.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..Beginning to Teach About Jade
Mike – thank you for sharing this technique with us. I have something similar in my daily routine and it is one of the most beneficial things for me.
I find that it teaches my mind how to be in a relaxed free-from-thoughts-state which I had forgotten. The more I do this meditation – the easier it is for me to find reaxation when I need it. Just like a physical motion it becomes automatic.
Also – one thing I have found whelped me get more out of it is to understand that there’s no right or wrong way of doing this. It is what you make it. Realising this helped me release my thoughts and just enjoy the relaxation.
Very simple and powerful technique – thank you for sharing
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Those are two excellent points, Anita. By practicing the “letting go” and relaxing, you get better at it – I was listening to a recording of Cath Duncan last night and she mentioned research that suggested our nerve cells get better insulated (and therefore faster) as we practice things, which is why it gets easier.
And the “you can’t get it wrong” is one of my favourite things about this technique. Either you’re successfully practicing staying focussed, or you’re successfully practicing returning to focus when distracted.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..How to Come Out of Your Trance
Timeless advice, Mike. We really can’t afford to not take the time to treat our mind everyday. Every person’s mind is a kingdom, but so few sit on the throne. When we give up the crown we become a victim of the mechanical mind, automatically reacting to circumstances in our life. The reward of repeating a habit like meditation is cooperation from all depths of our mind.
Well said, Rob. If we don’t run our minds, they’ll run us.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..How to Form an Alliance With Yourself
Hi Steven, hope you’re doing well-!
Hi Mike, really good stuff here… I’ve “heard rumors” how stress can lead to major problems such as, death.. “sorrow of the heart.” Or other almost or near fatal problems…
But I never thought that there have been countless proven studies that this is indeed true, and that there are methods we can use to prevent this.
Good stuff, thanks for the tips Mike!
parker lee | howtomingle.com recently posted..When Should We Cut People From Our Lives
It is indeed true, Parker. It’s not even controversial any more. Stress chokes your bloodstream up with multiple chemicals, intended to meet a short-term threat, but dangerous if they hang around. It increases blood pressure (so that you have more resources available for urgent action), and interferes with the steady rhythm of the heart. It’s bad for the nervous system and the memory, too.
Unfortunately the techniques to reverse it are not as well known, but those of us who do know them are doing our best to change that…
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..7 Steps to Help You Take Confident Action
Hi Mike, great list, thanks for sharing.
What I like most is the entry about a series of deep breaths. This is truly beneficial, because it can be done in almost any environment, it’s simple, fast and rewarding. It’s also useful to do it regularly, twice or three times a day. I think the perfect moment for this one is during the afternoon, when human body “shifts to the night mode.”
Yes, I often suggest to my clients that in those moments when the metabolism is on its downward slope – which come about every hour and a half on average – it’s a good time to take a few deep breaths, walk around a bit, maybe get a drink of water, and change what you’re doing (since you’re probably just spacing out anyway).
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..How to Come Out of Your Trance
Mike!
Stellar article!
I love the simplicity of it. It’s amazing what a small investment can do for your body and mind over the long run. I am definitely going to put your techniques to the test and use “freedom” as my focus!
I appreciate the insight!
Ryan Jenkins recently posted..Ep20- Get Intentional – Guidance-Mentorship – Part 1I got nutty
Thanks, Ryan, and good choice of focus.
Long-term practice, even of something very simple, makes such a huge cumulative difference.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..The Paramount Pictures Technique for Crushing Fear like a Beer Can
I often recommend meditation to my patients (I’m a Medical Herbalist), and it does have a huge effect.
For me, as well as health and energy, I find I just have so much more head space (technical term!), I am more productive and focused and generally happier.
I like the way you have explained it too, thanks.
Kate recently posted..Quick Self Esteem Boosters
Thanks, Kate. Yes, it’s amazing what this simple little practice can give you over the long term, or even short term. One of the secrets embedded in it is that you’re practicing letting go of thoughts you don’t need right now.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..7 Steps to Help You Take Confident Action
A great one, Mike! Super thankful! This made relaxation easier. People usually come across really profound-sounding resources that just complicate their understanding of de-stressing. Instead of appreciation, they’d find digesting the information taxing and thus don’t benefit from the ideas imparted in the articles, blogs, posts and etc. But with all these ten steps, people could FINALLY do it. It’s simple, well explained where needed and puts de-stressing at the important light where it should be. Thanks, Mike. Looking forward to more helpful posts from you.
Thanks, Arina, glad you found it helpful and that the simplicity worked well for you. I actually hand this out to people on a bookmark – I have this on one side and another, even simpler technique on the other.
Steven’s given me another guest slot in November, so I look forward to writing that and seeing your comments. Thanks again.
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Hi Mike,
I have just discovered this website and totally appreciate your technique. I have had serious mental health problems in the past and spent time in a psychiatric hospital. Mostly a consequence of work and personal life both taking a nose dive at the same time! I’m happy to report that these days both are back on track and I’m very happy. My mind has gone from being overwhelmed with anxiety and negative thoughts to being clear and uncluttered and the difference is amazing. I’m so much more creative and actually glad I was forced to re-assess my life. I’ve since discovered a love of gardening and re-discovered past loves of drawing and writing, get far more positive responses from people in general and close relationships in particular. I now live with a lovely man and life is wonderful if rather lacking financially as I’m only able to work part-time. I have also become very interested in understanding more about how we function and how our minds and bodies are affected by what we do (and don’t do). I’m now looking at websites and hoping to find a way to write online. I’m rather behind the times as I’ve yet to try blogging or twittering so a bit unsure of myself. Anyway, so glad people like you have these websites for people like me. Linda
Thanks, Linda, glad to hear that you’re getting on top of your issues – that’s a long, hard process and speaks of great strength in you. Gardening, drawing and writing are three excellent ways to deepen your connectedness with the world around you and to help your inner world to heal as well.
All the best with exploring online writing. It’s so much easier now than it was when I first started playing around with websites about 14 years ago. A friend of mine’s (very bright) 7-year-old has a blog now – a pretty good one, too. I’d encourage you to treat it as play and find your groove by experimenting freely. I started blogging on a free Blogger account and just wrote about whatever I was interested in before getting my own self-hosted blog once I knew my direction.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..Help Me Find Personal Development Caviar
Thanks for your article. Working as a Realtor I contend with quite a bit of stress on a daily basis. Given the way the Real Estate market is these days there are always high tensions in almost every deal!
Bill Gassett recently posted..How to Interview a Realtor With Great Questions
Thanks, Bill, glad it was helpful – I can only imagine how much stress you get in real estate these days. Good to have a couple of simple stress management techniques up your sleeve to deal with it as it happens.
Mike Reeves-McMillan recently posted..Help Me Find Personal Development Caviar
Nice post. It’s very similar to mediation. Personally though, for my own de-stress mechanism is to think of the future and plan then today’s stress fades away as it’s not important to me.
Thanks, Craig. It’s almost exactly like meditation – I’m sure that’s where Dr Benson got it from.
That’s an unusual approach you have. For a lot of people, thinking about the future rather than staying in the present increases stress. Just goes to show that one size doesn’t fit all.